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About this episode
I had the pleasure of interviewing Arwen Dropmann, a skilled professional organiser with a background in social work.
Arwen is a social worker and has additional training in grief and loss, disability, chronic illness, hoarding disorder, motivational interviewing, neurodivergent affirming practices, and compassion-focused therapy.
We delved into the realm of decluttering, organising, and the emotional connections we have with our belongings, especially when coping with the death of a loved one.
Remember to share this episode with anyone who might find it useful or comforting. Subscribe for more enlightening conversations like this one.
Stay organised and cherish every moment,
Catherine
Show notes
Guest Bio
Professional organiser
Arwen Dropmann is a qualified social worker with additional training in grief and loss, disability, chronic illness, hoarding disorder, motivational interviewing, neurodivergent affirming practices and compassion-focused therapy.
She has worked as a Professional Organiser since 2017, with her business Calm Space founded at the start of 2020. She has lived and learnt experience of disability and neurodivergence.
Arwen cares deeply about professionalism within the organising industry and joined The Institute of Professional Organisers Board to make a positive contribution to the sector as it grows and matures, and is the board member responsible for Membership and Accreditation
Arwen describes herself as in her 40’s; young enough to do the lifting and shifting required in a decluttering session and old enough to bring some life experience to her work.
She lives in Brisbane, Queensland, is married with two teenage sons and has a new found appreciation for vintage items.
Summary
In This Episode:
- Arwen shines a light on the challenges families face when dealing with a loved one's belongings after death.
- We explore the emotional aspects of decluttering and organising, especially in sensitive situations like handling a deceased person's possessions.
- Arwen provides practical advice on future preparation, emphasising the importance of organising essential documents and planning for unforeseen events.
This episode should enlighten anyone who has grappled with clutter or faced the daunting task of sorting through a loved one's belongings. Arwen's insights highlight the importance of preparing for the inevitable and the emotional journey that accompanies it.
Transcript
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Arwen Dropmann: You hear a lot of
stories of, we're so overwhelmed.
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We had very little time
to wrap up this property.
3
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It needed to be listed for sale.
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00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:10,950
I only had a week to do it because I've
got family and other responsibilities
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and a lot goes in the skip bin, which is
usually contrary to most people's values.
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00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:17,930
And it's probably contrar ... Read More
1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,690 Arwen Dropmann: You hear a lot of stories of, we're so overwhelmed. 2 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:05,560 We had very little time to wrap up this property. 3 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:07,170 It needed to be listed for sale. 4 00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:10,950 I only had a week to do it because I've got family and other responsibilities 5 00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:15,329 and a lot goes in the skip bin, which is usually contrary to most people's values. 6 00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:17,930 And it's probably contrary to the values of the person who's passed. 7 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:21,610 And it's often very heartbreaking for the people who are doing that work, 8 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,740 the families that have to come in and they go, well, I've got no option here. 9 00:00:25,365 --> 00:00:28,425 the volume of possessions I can't sort through this methodically, and 10 00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:31,055 that can be really contrary to their values and cause a lot of heartaches. 11 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:36,584 Catherine Ashton: Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead, a podcast 12 00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:40,695 encouraging open conversations about dying and the death of a loved one. 13 00:00:41,295 --> 00:00:44,514 I'm your host, Catherine Ashton, founder of Critical Info. 14 00:00:45,059 --> 00:00:48,710 And I'm helping to bring your stories of death back to life. 15 00:00:49,269 --> 00:00:53,460 Because while you may not be ready to die, at least you can be prepared. 16 00:00:56,809 --> 00:01:00,069 Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges the lands of the Kulin Nations 17 00:01:00,129 --> 00:01:03,914 and recognises their connection to land, sea and community. 18 00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:08,015 We pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging, 19 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:11,645 and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander 20 00:01:11,695 --> 00:01:13,545 and First Nation peoples around 21 00:01:13,545 --> 00:01:13,955 Arwen Dropmann: the globe. 22 00:01:18,105 --> 00:01:20,814 Catherine Ashton: Arwen Dropmann is a qualified social worker with 23 00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:25,915 additional training in grief and loss, disability, chronic illness, hoarding 24 00:01:25,915 --> 00:01:31,004 disorder, motivational interviewing, neurodivergent affirming practices 25 00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,985 and compassion focused therapy. 26 00:01:33,605 --> 00:01:39,835 She has worked as a professional organiser since 2017, with her business, Calm 27 00:01:39,835 --> 00:01:42,504 Space, founded at the start of 2020. 28 00:01:42,975 --> 00:01:47,715 She has lived and learnt experience of disability and neurodivergence. 29 00:01:48,645 --> 00:01:53,825 Arwen cares deeply about professionalism within the organising industry, and joined 30 00:01:53,825 --> 00:01:57,925 the Institute of Professional Organisers board to make a positive contribution 31 00:01:57,925 --> 00:02:00,175 to the sector as it grows and matures. 32 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:04,145 and is the board member responsible for membership and accreditation. 33 00:02:04,885 --> 00:02:09,235 Arwen describes herself as in her forties, young enough to do the lifting 34 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:13,234 and shifting required in a decluttering session, and old enough to bring 35 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,295 some life experience to her work. 36 00:02:15,725 --> 00:02:19,334 She lives in Brisbane, Queensland, is married with two teenage 37 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:24,215 sons, and has found a newfound appreciation for vintage items. 38 00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:27,274 Arwen, thank you for joining us today. 39 00:02:27,575 --> 00:02:28,714 Arwen Dropmann: Thanks for having me, Catherine. 40 00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:30,375 Now, Arwen, 41 00:02:30,545 --> 00:02:31,885 Catherine Ashton: tell us, what is a professional 42 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:32,394 organiser. 43 00:02:33,225 --> 00:02:37,355 Arwen Dropmann: Professional organiser is a person who works and provides a service 44 00:02:37,394 --> 00:02:44,355 to people who need assistance managing possessions, spaces, time, tasks, errands. 45 00:02:45,294 --> 00:02:46,814 Really, it encompasses a lot of things. 46 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:50,684 Often, it's very focused on decluttering and organising spaces, but it can 47 00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:52,404 be around time and tasks as well. 48 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:53,900 Yeah. 49 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:54,520 Okay. 50 00:02:54,929 --> 00:02:55,230 And 51 00:02:56,690 --> 00:03:00,590 Catherine Ashton: so what sort of services do you offer as a professional organiser? 52 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:04,060 You covered on a few things that you do, but if you can sort of 53 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:09,459 break down, like what sort of things does that cover, I suppose, if 54 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,650 someone was looking for something? 55 00:03:10,909 --> 00:03:11,189 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah. 56 00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:14,989 So there's probably a few different groups of people that they get in 57 00:03:14,989 --> 00:03:16,319 touch and different needs they have. 58 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:16,840 So. 59 00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:20,270 Uh, one of the main ones would be decluttering. 60 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:25,200 So where people have excess possessions that are getting in the way of the use 61 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,580 of their home or they're feeling very overwhelmed and stressed about that. 62 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:33,789 Uh, so to help people make decisions about what items to keep, what items to let 63 00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:36,049 go and how they might approach that job. 64 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:40,170 Occasionally those jobs get very large, the clutter and the excess gets quite 65 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,640 a high volume before an organiser. 66 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,250 Is engaged when people often feeling very overwhelmed about the size of 67 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:50,740 the task and how to start what to do with the items that they declutter and 68 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:55,209 how to make good decisions that they feel confident about and you know, we 69 00:03:55,209 --> 00:03:56,799 want to prevent high levels of regret. 70 00:03:56,799 --> 00:04:00,370 So people often worried that they're going to regret what they, the things that they. 71 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:01,700 that they pass on. 72 00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:05,440 So, a professional organiser can help people, guide people through 73 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,170 the process and the decision making. 74 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,610 Organisations, so when people are finding their environments are 75 00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:15,100 disorganised, there might not be a lot of access, but the way that possessions 76 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,360 are stored, there's no order to it. 77 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,269 They don't know where things are. 78 00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:23,480 Less can, uh, create a lot of problems with managing time. 79 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:25,109 So hard to get out of the house on time. 80 00:04:25,109 --> 00:04:26,659 We don't know where things are. 81 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:32,079 So organisers can help try and put systems and setups in place to help people 82 00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:33,879 maintain organisation across the home. 83 00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:38,250 Uh, organizers can also help with things like routines and 84 00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:40,090 schedules and managing tasks. 85 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:44,159 So implementing systems with people and helping people really get clarity 86 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:47,509 about where their time is going and where they want their time to be going. 87 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:51,860 Uh, some organisers offer what we call concierge services. 88 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:56,590 So that's where you engage a professional to book appointments, 89 00:04:56,599 --> 00:05:01,150 manage services, maybe plan travel, uh, you know, drop off the dry 90 00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:02,900 cleaning, physical errands as well. 91 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,709 Uh, so there is that element to professional organising as well. 92 00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:09,479 And then there's a little subset of photo organisers as well. 93 00:05:09,479 --> 00:05:11,650 So people who, uh, help. 94 00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:18,395 people to catalogue, to save and back up their photos, to organise 95 00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:20,614 them and then present them in a way that they can actually be 96 00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:22,215 enjoyed through albums or books. 97 00:05:22,704 --> 00:05:26,654 Uh, so that's also would be encapsulated in the, the professional 98 00:05:26,654 --> 00:05:27,835 organising industry as well. 99 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,484 That is very broad. 100 00:05:31,285 --> 00:05:32,274 Yes, it is. 101 00:05:32,314 --> 00:05:33,655 Yes, there's something for everyone. 102 00:05:34,255 --> 00:05:35,215 Yeah, there is. 103 00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:35,835 And 104 00:05:35,845 --> 00:05:38,635 Catherine Ashton: obviously your background as a social worker must 105 00:05:38,665 --> 00:05:42,944 really provide you with a good set of skills moving into this industry. 106 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:47,090 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, I think having a good understanding of people and 107 00:05:47,099 --> 00:05:51,299 the issues faced by people, their place in society and some of the 108 00:05:51,299 --> 00:05:54,939 structural issues and disadvantages or advantages that people experience. 109 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:58,565 As well as the sort of psychosocial or the social emotional 110 00:05:58,985 --> 00:06:00,645 landscape for an individual. 111 00:06:00,665 --> 00:06:04,244 Uh, that really helps, uh, my work as a professional organiser. 112 00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:07,245 I've very much taken those skills and focused them in on 113 00:06:07,254 --> 00:06:08,755 one part of people's lives. 114 00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:12,215 But organisers spend a lot of time with their clients and often we end 115 00:06:12,215 --> 00:06:16,235 up providing other types of support as well and get to know people very well. 116 00:06:16,495 --> 00:06:20,685 So it does help me to, uh, yeah, definitely bring a breadth of 117 00:06:20,685 --> 00:06:24,235 experience to a very sort of focused part of, type of work that I do. 118 00:06:25,565 --> 00:06:25,734 And 119 00:06:25,765 --> 00:06:28,224 Catherine Ashton: obviously it's very personal work. 120 00:06:28,224 --> 00:06:31,805 You're obviously in people's homes, you're dealing with people's possessions. 121 00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:38,474 So tell me a little bit about, about that and how, um, you know, I suppose 122 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:42,354 the importance of, of the Institute and how you got involved with 123 00:06:42,354 --> 00:06:43,065 Arwen Dropmann: the Institute. 124 00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:44,534 Yeah. 125 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,525 So the, yes, you're right. 126 00:06:46,585 --> 00:06:50,425 Often, you know, a lot of people who engage an organiser, it's 127 00:06:50,425 --> 00:06:51,775 not always just a once off. 128 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:52,740 service. 129 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:57,450 Sometimes these are, you know, projects that can extend if we've got whole homes 130 00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:01,690 that are people are wanting to organise or whole homes that need decluttering. 131 00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:05,870 It can be a relationship of several months or more depending 132 00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:06,939 on the needs of the client. 133 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:09,970 So, and, and you do get to know people very well when you handle 134 00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:13,229 their possessions, you're asking them questions about their life. 135 00:07:13,269 --> 00:07:16,939 We need to understand their lives as well and how that relates to their possessions. 136 00:07:16,949 --> 00:07:17,179 So. 137 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:21,710 When you handle positions and talk to them about people, people about them, 138 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:24,700 you get to know a lot about that people. 139 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:28,859 So the intimacy between an organiser and a long term client can be quite high. 140 00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:31,440 We, you know, there's, there's also some give and take. 141 00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:34,360 Our clients get to know a bit about us as well. 142 00:07:34,719 --> 00:07:38,910 So yes, we have a very often very strong and close connection with clients. 143 00:07:39,610 --> 00:07:42,890 One of the reasons why I accepted a position on the board of the Institute 144 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:47,549 of Professional Organisers is because of those sort of close ongoing 145 00:07:47,549 --> 00:07:49,649 relationships a lot of organisers do have. 146 00:07:49,989 --> 00:07:51,099 It's really important that. 147 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:55,890 As a, as a currently an unregulated industry that we are looking toward 148 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:58,230 professionalism with the industry. 149 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,440 We don't want to harm people with our work. 150 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,360 We want to support them. 151 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,430 Often they're very vulnerable when they come to us and being a part of 152 00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:09,359 the institute is really reflecting that value that I have that we increase 153 00:08:09,359 --> 00:08:12,820 professionalism within the industry and, and are doing the right thing 154 00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:16,280 by clients and really looking at what the best practice is when we do 155 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,900 this type of work in people's homes. 156 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,689 So tell me about, um, 157 00:08:20,969 --> 00:08:23,140 Catherine Ashton: you, you just mentioned regulation there. 158 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:27,639 Tell me a little bit about the role of the, the Institute and the fact that it's 159 00:08:27,639 --> 00:08:29,760 not currently regulated and, and what 160 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,190 Arwen Dropmann: your involvement is. 161 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:38,525 So, uh, professional organising is It's a relatively new profession and industry. 162 00:08:38,945 --> 00:08:43,115 I like to term it as emerging, so it's, it's been around for a little 163 00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:44,464 while now and longer in the U. 164 00:08:44,464 --> 00:08:44,674 S. 165 00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:48,285 than in Australia, but it's experienced a lot of growth in recent 166 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:52,184 years and, but it is an unregulated industry and it's not really a very 167 00:08:52,184 --> 00:08:53,935 well recognised industry, I think. 168 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:58,930 Uh, people, the awareness around it is growing through like things, TV shows 169 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,160 like Marie Kondo's show and The Home Edit. 170 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,460 There's decluttering shows as well on TV. 171 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,939 That's often where people might become aware that this is, 172 00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:08,930 this is a service that exists. 173 00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:12,920 TV shows aren't always a great reflection of what really happens for 174 00:09:12,939 --> 00:09:15,170 people when they engage a service. 175 00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:19,579 So, But that's often where people, there's been a lot more in the media about it, 176 00:09:19,589 --> 00:09:23,410 news of paper articles and magazines and online articles about decluttering. 177 00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:27,169 There was a bit of a focus on it during the pandemic as people were spending 178 00:09:27,169 --> 00:09:30,570 a lot more time at home and some of these issues were a bit more confronting 179 00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,290 because people weren't able to escape. 180 00:09:32,754 --> 00:09:36,904 If they were in cluttered environments or disorganized, it was, it was 181 00:09:36,904 --> 00:09:39,425 right in front of them and they were, there was a bit more focus on that. 182 00:09:39,935 --> 00:09:43,785 In terms of the Institute of Professional Organisers, you know, the path to 183 00:09:43,785 --> 00:09:49,414 industry recognition and, and regulation is long, and, but we're taking steps to. 184 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,500 to get professional organizing more recognized officially. 185 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:58,940 Uh, and then hopefully that, that's some standards for what the educator, what 186 00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:03,650 you can reasonably expect when you engage an organiser of what kind of training 187 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:07,289 they might've had and what kind of ethics, uh, you know, is there a code of 188 00:10:07,289 --> 00:10:09,074 ethics or a code of practice that they. 189 00:10:09,595 --> 00:10:14,585 That they follow when you engage someone, but that will still be a long journey. 190 00:10:16,135 --> 00:10:17,635 So is there 191 00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:21,745 Catherine Ashton: a code of conduct, code of conduct that 192 00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:24,334 the members of your association 193 00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:24,894 Arwen Dropmann: have? 194 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:25,430 Yeah. 195 00:10:25,430 --> 00:10:28,100 So we, we term it a code of practice. 196 00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:32,410 And so when people join as a member of the Institute of Professional Organisers, 197 00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:37,770 they have to read and agree that they will follow that code of practice. 198 00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:42,639 And that includes aspects of how you operate your business in your, in 199 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,099 terms of fair and transparent dealings with people, as well as you, how you 200 00:10:46,099 --> 00:10:49,279 deal with your other colleagues in the industry and clients as well. 201 00:10:50,444 --> 00:10:51,314 And if someone was 202 00:10:51,314 --> 00:10:54,185 Catherine Ashton: needing support in relation to the services that 203 00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:57,545 you've mentioned, whether it be decluttering or assistance with 204 00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:01,785 cataloguing their photos, how can they find someone in their local area? 205 00:11:02,315 --> 00:11:05,315 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, so Institute of Professional Organisers has a find an 206 00:11:05,325 --> 00:11:07,444 organiser directory on their website. 207 00:11:08,164 --> 00:11:10,214 Uh, so that you can use. 208 00:11:10,315 --> 00:11:13,595 to search by area or by need. 209 00:11:13,595 --> 00:11:16,405 So a lot of organizers will also offer service virtually. 210 00:11:16,405 --> 00:11:19,774 So if there's someone not quite the right, if you can't quite find the 211 00:11:19,774 --> 00:11:23,195 right fit in your area, there might be someone who can support you virtually. 212 00:11:23,495 --> 00:11:26,824 I know that seems unusual when a lot of our work is physically in people's 213 00:11:26,824 --> 00:11:31,134 homes, but I think the rise of virtual services is really acknowledging 214 00:11:31,134 --> 00:11:35,085 that a lot of what's happening for people in their homes is really about. 215 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,720 in their heart and mind and, and overcoming sort of barriers in 216 00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:43,980 thinking or overwhelm and, and support their need in decision making. 217 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,200 And organisers can also give guidance virtually as well about, you know, 218 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,019 okay, you could put this here and there. 219 00:11:50,019 --> 00:11:51,700 So it's quite interesting. 220 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:52,370 Yeah. 221 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,160 So the directory has listings of organisers. 222 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,130 You can go in, there's bios, pictures, you can get an idea 223 00:11:58,130 --> 00:11:59,290 and links to their websites. 224 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:03,519 And it's a nice way to catch a few, capture a few people. 225 00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:05,945 in your area and to choose between. 226 00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:06,725 Yeah. 227 00:12:07,215 --> 00:12:07,525 Okay. 228 00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:09,555 Catherine Ashton: That sounds like a very valuable service. 229 00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:13,355 And tell me from your point of view, what have you found to be the 230 00:12:13,385 --> 00:12:17,644 most significant challenges that families face when a loved one dies? 231 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:22,790 Arwen Dropmann: So, definitely, organizers, a lot of organizers get to 232 00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:25,820 meet people all through their lifespan. 233 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,459 So, working from children or expectant mothers, even, expectant mothers, 234 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,819 people with younger children, people with older children, people who've. 235 00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:38,270 Kids have grown and flown, as well as older folks who are, you know, 236 00:12:38,319 --> 00:12:42,929 maybe becoming elderly or thinking of downsizing or needing to change 237 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:46,459 their, their living situation, as well as when people have passed. 238 00:12:46,469 --> 00:12:48,309 So we really see the whole lifespan. 239 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:52,699 It gives us a really interesting perspective on the role of possessions 240 00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:55,620 and homes in, over the lifespan. 241 00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:01,280 Uh, I think when I think one of the main challenges when someone dies for the 242 00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:08,810 family or whoever is the one responsible for dealing with their affairs, look, I 243 00:13:08,819 --> 00:13:14,309 think the, when it becomes problematic is often when that person has not really 244 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,720 taken any steps prior to their death. 245 00:13:17,175 --> 00:13:21,565 To arrange their affairs or to, to deal with the lifetime sort of 246 00:13:21,565 --> 00:13:25,045 accumulation of possessions, you can actually accumulate quite a lot. 247 00:13:25,464 --> 00:13:28,165 Uh, if you're still living in the family home and you haven't had to 248 00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:33,264 downsize, you know, modern homes can hold a lot of possessions and 249 00:13:33,264 --> 00:13:35,134 that can be very overwhelming for. 250 00:13:35,695 --> 00:13:39,775 uh, friends, family, loved ones to deal with after someone has passed. 251 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:44,175 And when, when, when their affairs aren't organised, that can cause a lot 252 00:13:44,175 --> 00:13:49,384 of angst for the people left behind, wondering why they, why they've been 253 00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:53,175 left with, uh, you know, a lifetime's worth of possessions to deal with it, 254 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,535 that nothing was dealt with beforehand. 255 00:13:55,925 --> 00:13:59,195 And that, and often it's coming at a time when those people 256 00:13:59,195 --> 00:14:00,155 are actually quite bereaved. 257 00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:04,250 And stressed and may not be at their full capacity and they're 258 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:05,510 needing to deal with this. 259 00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:09,959 I think when I, uh, work with, with people who are nearing the 260 00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:12,989 end of their lives, or they're, they're older or they're downsizing. 261 00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:17,069 I do get them to think about their legacy because I work also with people 262 00:14:17,069 --> 00:14:18,640 who are dealing with their legacy. 263 00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:22,839 And to, to, to get them to think about what their legacy is that 264 00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:25,099 they are leaving behind for. 265 00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:29,020 The people who will be coming in to, to wrap up their affairs 266 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:30,360 and deal with their possessions. 267 00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:36,520 And they've got an opportunity to make that a less unpleasant experience 268 00:14:36,539 --> 00:14:37,900 if they just take a few steps. 269 00:14:38,685 --> 00:14:45,165 To do a bit of decluttering, to alert people to what is special to them or 270 00:14:45,165 --> 00:14:49,655 what has significance so that amongst all the stress and all the other things 271 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:54,005 that people are dealing with that they, they know what was important and special 272 00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:58,324 and that that doesn't go in the bin or that they can be really intentional 273 00:14:58,345 --> 00:14:59,915 about how they want to deal with that. 274 00:15:00,344 --> 00:15:02,015 They might want to share stories. 275 00:15:02,239 --> 00:15:05,270 with their friend, their, their loved ones around items. 276 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:10,030 Cause, uh, you know, it might be, this was very special to, to great grandma Betty, 277 00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:15,609 but no one knows why, because she didn't share the story about it with anyone. 278 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:20,379 So sharing stories about why these things are special can be helpful 279 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,730 as well as, as people are making a lot of decisions about what to do. 280 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:24,829 Yeah. 281 00:15:24,829 --> 00:15:26,319 Does that, does that answer your question? 282 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:29,030 Yeah, I could probably talk on and on about this. 283 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:30,930 Catherine Ashton: No, 284 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:31,449 Arwen Dropmann: no, 285 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:32,860 Catherine Ashton: that's, that's so true though. 286 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:37,860 There is a big difference between what is valuable and what is sentimental. 287 00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:39,430 Arwen Dropmann: Oh, absolutely. 288 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,170 It's a value to the person, so it may not look like it's of value. 289 00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:47,425 monetary value, but it might've been very precious to the person. 290 00:15:47,475 --> 00:15:50,064 I mean, the other thing is that not all of us have the skills to 291 00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:51,954 know what does have monetary value. 292 00:15:52,395 --> 00:15:56,685 So if, if, if you know that there's a family member who's collected a 293 00:15:56,694 --> 00:16:01,945 lot of antiques or valuable items, getting them to share a bit about. 294 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:07,035 What that item is, where they are, what their provenance is, because not 295 00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:10,155 all of us walk into a home and go, Oh, I can see that's very valuable 296 00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:11,475 because we may not have the skills. 297 00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:15,345 And that's when other, other specialists like auction houses and antique dealers 298 00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:20,869 can be valuable resource at that time to help families identify what was. 299 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,920 What is of monetary value so that they can sort of fulfill their 300 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,870 role to wind up that estate in a financially responsible manner. 301 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:33,160 So, but without knowing sometimes people just walk in, they're so 302 00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:36,780 overwhelmed and you hear a lot of stories of, we're so overwhelmed. 303 00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:39,639 We had very little time to wrap up this property. 304 00:16:39,639 --> 00:16:43,790 It needed to be listed for sale, you know, I only had a week to do it because I've 305 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:47,000 got family and other responsibilities and a lot goes in the skip bin. 306 00:16:47,755 --> 00:16:51,555 Which is usually contrary to most people's values and it's probably contrary to 307 00:16:51,555 --> 00:16:55,045 the values of the person who's passed and it's often very heartbreaking for 308 00:16:55,045 --> 00:16:58,635 the people who are doing that work, the families that have to come in and 309 00:16:58,645 --> 00:17:00,535 they go, well, I've got no option here. 310 00:17:00,805 --> 00:17:04,284 The volume of possessions, I can't sort through this methodically and 311 00:17:04,285 --> 00:17:07,434 that can be really contrary to their values and cause a lot of heartache. 312 00:17:07,434 --> 00:17:11,124 So I think that I think I've touched on a few of the areas 313 00:17:11,124 --> 00:17:15,034 where it can be tricky for people in terms of space and possessions. 314 00:17:15,615 --> 00:17:17,474 Uh, after someone's died, yeah. 315 00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,795 Catherine Ashton: And is that when that they should really perhaps reach out 316 00:17:20,795 --> 00:17:25,855 and, and seek the services of someone from your, you know, association? 317 00:17:26,324 --> 00:17:28,005 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, it's a common time. 318 00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:33,025 So organisers, life transitions would be a common time where people 319 00:17:33,025 --> 00:17:34,864 might think I need help with this. 320 00:17:35,404 --> 00:17:37,584 There's something new, I've never done this before. 321 00:17:37,584 --> 00:17:39,125 So that could be a downsize. 322 00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:43,535 It can be when people start to realise that my health is not great and now I'm. 323 00:17:44,425 --> 00:17:46,294 I've got a big job and I need help with this. 324 00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:52,515 It can be, like you said, when someone dies and people are feeling a bit lost 325 00:17:52,515 --> 00:17:56,145 and it's a very big job, they might be looking out to say who could help me. 326 00:17:56,345 --> 00:18:00,265 So those life transitions are definitely where we would see people seeking 327 00:18:00,265 --> 00:18:01,804 the help of a professional organizer. 328 00:18:01,805 --> 00:18:04,905 And I think, I think we're starting to normalize. 329 00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:09,524 That this is something that's okay to get help with, and that there's really, 330 00:18:09,935 --> 00:18:14,135 a lot of people feel like they, we're very independent Australians, and we 331 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,955 carry around a lot of shoulds about what we should be able to do with our 332 00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:22,735 help, but I think we're starting to get better at asking for help and not 333 00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:27,175 And, you know, letting go of the shame that we might have carried around 334 00:18:27,175 --> 00:18:28,764 about needing help with something. 335 00:18:29,054 --> 00:18:34,095 And organisers are very astute at handling, when people are overwhelmed 336 00:18:34,095 --> 00:18:37,824 and they might be feeling some shame, we're aware that that might be happening. 337 00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:41,884 And we know how to get the job done, but we often are very, we know how 338 00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:44,124 to get it done sensitively as well. 339 00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:45,004 Yeah. 340 00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:46,085 And respectfully. 341 00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:50,115 Catherine Ashton: And it's interesting that you talk about the culture in 342 00:18:50,115 --> 00:18:55,845 Australia and the feelings associated with that, because it's not always 343 00:18:55,855 --> 00:18:59,504 throughout the world that there's issues with decluttering, is there? 344 00:18:59,574 --> 00:19:04,415 Because, you know, we know that in Sweden, they actually have a practice that is 345 00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:06,264 specifically called death cleaning. 346 00:19:06,574 --> 00:19:06,704 Yeah. 347 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:12,270 I don't want to hazard how I would actually pronounce the term in Swedish. 348 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,480 It's not that great, my Swedish, but they actually have a practice 349 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,789 Arwen Dropmann: called death cleaning, don't they? 350 00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:21,600 Yes, yes, I haven't actually read, there's a very well known book about 351 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:25,749 this, I haven't actually read that one, but the principle is great, 352 00:19:25,879 --> 00:19:31,799 uh, that you, you, it's really about engaging a level of mindfulness. 353 00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:35,080 About your possessions and about your legacy. 354 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,929 And I have a lot of respect for that. 355 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,330 I think it can be helpful for the person who's doing it. 356 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:45,399 Uh, and I think it can be helpful for the people who come after as well. 357 00:19:47,139 --> 00:19:48,530 The, the book I, I 358 00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:52,729 Catherine Ashton: believe that we're referring to is The Gentle Art of Swedish 359 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:58,350 Death Cleaning and it was written by Margarita Magnusson, uh, and we'll put 360 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:03,290 the links in the, uh, the show notes as well as obviously the links to the, uh, 361 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,669 the Institute of Professional Organisers. 362 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:09,800 So if you need any support there, but you were just mentioning the, the 363 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,270 sensitivities that you have to deal with. 364 00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:17,239 Really it seems to be in a lot of cases you come across, whether it's, it's people 365 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:22,569 who are reluctant to let go of items or the shame or guilt that they feel. 366 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,149 What are some of the challenging situations you've 367 00:20:26,189 --> 00:20:27,760 personally found yourself in? 368 00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:31,160 Yeah. 369 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:31,750 People. 370 00:20:32,094 --> 00:20:35,274 Arwen Dropmann: Don't arrive at, you know, I arrive at people's 371 00:20:35,274 --> 00:20:40,815 homes and they come with all of their background, their experiences, 372 00:20:40,855 --> 00:20:44,764 whatever situation they're currently in, there's always a big context. 373 00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:49,710 When we arrive to do a job, uh, so I think it's always understanding that 374 00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:53,090 there's a lot about people we don't know at that point, and that we're just 375 00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:57,719 starting out to get to know them, but it is a process of rapidly getting to know 376 00:20:57,780 --> 00:21:01,040 people and trying to understand what's important to them, what their values 377 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,180 are, and working in alignment with that. 378 00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:09,735 Definitely some of the more challenging situations is, I do recall there was a 379 00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:14,604 family where there was two sisters who didn't have a great relationship and 380 00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:18,165 their father had been moved into aged care and they were in the process of, 381 00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:20,494 of decluttering the house for sale. 382 00:21:20,814 --> 00:21:24,184 So and occasionally we will walk into situations like that where there's 383 00:21:24,184 --> 00:21:28,574 high conflict and there's people not seeing eye to eye and being 384 00:21:28,614 --> 00:21:30,424 able to navigate that while still. 385 00:21:31,485 --> 00:21:36,415 uh, achieving the outcome, which is the, uh, you know, a clearer or 386 00:21:36,415 --> 00:21:38,665 cleared home that can be challenging. 387 00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,514 It's not just about the stuff. 388 00:21:40,514 --> 00:21:44,185 I think, uh, anyone working this industry will tell you that it's 389 00:21:44,185 --> 00:21:45,735 not just about the possessions. 390 00:21:45,745 --> 00:21:46,264 It's about. 391 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:50,950 The people that are involved and their beliefs and their values and their 392 00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:52,530 relationship to their possessions. 393 00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:54,950 And that can get complex for people. 394 00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:58,799 So based on your personal 395 00:21:58,799 --> 00:22:01,960 Catherine Ashton: experience, what would you suggest that people do 396 00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:05,419 when they're trying to work through the administration tasks that are 397 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:08,270 involved after a loved one has died? 398 00:22:08,330 --> 00:22:11,940 You know, where, where do you suggest that they start based on your 399 00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:12,540 Arwen Dropmann: experience? 400 00:22:13,534 --> 00:22:19,374 I mean, my, my experience, my lens is very much focused on possessions because 401 00:22:19,384 --> 00:22:23,694 that's often where we are involved, but there's often a lot of tasks as well. 402 00:22:24,225 --> 00:22:28,275 I think, I think an important aspect is prioritizing. 403 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:34,695 Sometimes people come to us with a, a really high sense of urgency about this, 404 00:22:34,764 --> 00:22:39,295 this, and this would be in any situation, not just after a death is quick. 405 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:40,045 I must declutter. 406 00:22:40,045 --> 00:22:41,754 I must do it all now and it must be done. 407 00:22:42,184 --> 00:22:43,524 And then when we get to know them. 408 00:22:43,805 --> 00:22:46,605 They've got a lot of other things happening, but they're feeling a lot 409 00:22:46,605 --> 00:22:49,965 of urgency around the possessions, but maybe, even though it's 410 00:22:49,965 --> 00:22:53,435 causing stress, Maybe they need to attend to some other things first. 411 00:22:53,685 --> 00:22:55,804 So sometimes you see a bit of a false sense of urgency. 412 00:22:55,804 --> 00:22:58,905 So I guess when someone's wrapping up an estate, being able to prioritise 413 00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:04,885 what, what are the immediate tasks that need to be done and what can wait. 414 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:09,674 Because at that point it can feel very overwhelming and obviously emotionally 415 00:23:09,674 --> 00:23:14,064 people are often under a lot of strain and we're often not in those sort of 416 00:23:14,064 --> 00:23:16,364 critical sort of crisis situations. 417 00:23:16,364 --> 00:23:20,885 People, people are not usually cognitively functioning at their, at their best. 418 00:23:20,894 --> 00:23:21,184 So. 419 00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:26,399 I think it's about take, take slowing down and working out what needs to happen 420 00:23:26,399 --> 00:23:32,149 right now and what can wait a few days and what can wait a few weeks and then just 421 00:23:32,159 --> 00:23:36,340 start, just take that one day at a time or one week at a time and work through what 422 00:23:36,350 --> 00:23:42,189 you can and often the, often the house or the home or the possessions can feel 423 00:23:42,189 --> 00:23:43,729 very urgent because it's very visible. 424 00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:48,665 And occasionally there is urgency around the house, like if that estate needs 425 00:23:48,665 --> 00:23:52,905 to be wrapped up quickly for financial reasons, you know, the house is often the 426 00:23:52,915 --> 00:23:57,715 biggest asset and that would need to be attended to so that it can be progressed. 427 00:23:57,725 --> 00:24:02,334 So, but I think sometimes people feel a false sense of urgency around different 428 00:24:02,334 --> 00:24:04,285 things and it would be about prioritising. 429 00:24:05,855 --> 00:24:06,965 Catherine Ashton: That's really good advice. 430 00:24:06,995 --> 00:24:10,885 And you mentioned, you know, there's obviously the services that the 431 00:24:10,885 --> 00:24:16,035 professional organisers can offer and come in and, and assist in those situations. 432 00:24:16,325 --> 00:24:19,305 You've mentioned that there's also auction houses. 433 00:24:19,615 --> 00:24:23,784 What other services have you had experience with, you know, after the death 434 00:24:23,785 --> 00:24:29,174 of, of someone, whether it be traumatic or, or just, you know, an expected death? 435 00:24:32,024 --> 00:24:35,915 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, I mean, uh, professional organisers do offer sort of 436 00:24:35,925 --> 00:24:40,474 ad hoc emotional support as you're going through things, but if people are finding 437 00:24:40,475 --> 00:24:45,364 that they really, they need to debrief and discuss, then directing them to a 438 00:24:45,364 --> 00:24:48,594 counsellor who can really, who's trained and who can really focus in on that. 439 00:24:49,024 --> 00:24:52,324 Professional organisers are also there to try and do a job around possessions. 440 00:24:52,745 --> 00:24:56,754 So we need to stay in our lane in terms of what we're doing, but there's. 441 00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:58,639 You know, when you're going through people's possessions, 442 00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:00,320 it can trigger a lot of grief. 443 00:25:00,710 --> 00:25:04,430 And so it can be still part of that, that process. 444 00:25:04,460 --> 00:25:07,620 But yes, getting, getting sort of professional counseling 445 00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:08,750 or someone to debrief with. 446 00:25:09,344 --> 00:25:14,905 Particularly if it's been a crisis so that they can gain some strategies around 447 00:25:15,545 --> 00:25:20,764 how am I going to do this task and manage my responses to this crisis as well. 448 00:25:21,314 --> 00:25:25,115 I think if we're talking about spaces and possessions, I think when we're 449 00:25:25,465 --> 00:25:27,849 clearing after a death, there is a lot. 450 00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:32,430 that can't be often can't be donated or just in that, you 451 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:34,400 know, uh, to get a second life. 452 00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:37,030 So there is auction houses for valuable things. 453 00:25:37,030 --> 00:25:40,669 And there are ways to do professional organisers also help people with 454 00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:44,980 ways to donate and discard things responsibly to give them a second 455 00:25:44,980 --> 00:25:46,399 life through different charities. 456 00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:49,300 Um, and that's often a very big part of what organizers 457 00:25:49,300 --> 00:25:50,570 are doing is arranging for. 458 00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:55,045 Charity furniture pickups for items that are less valuable, supporting 459 00:25:55,045 --> 00:25:57,775 people to list things on marketplace if that's what they choose to 460 00:25:57,775 --> 00:26:01,905 do, to sell things secondhand and to deliver items to charities. 461 00:26:02,555 --> 00:26:05,494 But there's often also the need for rubbish removal as well. 462 00:26:05,505 --> 00:26:11,575 So things like skip companies or there's a company called 1 800 Got Junk or. 463 00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:15,225 probably similar other businesses around in the community where you 464 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:19,435 get a truck and two guys, and they can pick up things that can go. 465 00:26:19,595 --> 00:26:23,695 And I know that company has a very strong sustainability focus as well. 466 00:26:24,155 --> 00:26:26,955 So that can, there can be a role for those sorts of things as well. 467 00:26:28,434 --> 00:26:29,185 And you've had 468 00:26:29,224 --> 00:26:31,584 Catherine Ashton: experience with hoarding disorder. 469 00:26:32,235 --> 00:26:37,495 Uh, obviously that is a situation that might be very challenging for family 470 00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:40,625 members when they see a loved one in that. 471 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,990 that situation. 472 00:26:42,350 --> 00:26:43,790 What do you suggest? 473 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,550 Is there anything that you suggest in relation to, to those 474 00:26:46,860 --> 00:26:47,750 Arwen Dropmann: situations? 475 00:26:48,550 --> 00:26:54,679 So, hoarding disorder is very complex and very challenging to work with. 476 00:26:55,415 --> 00:27:00,655 If someone comes to me discussing a family member with hoarding disorder, 477 00:27:00,665 --> 00:27:05,145 for me personally, I'm, I'm a volunteer when my organizing business is voluntary. 478 00:27:05,154 --> 00:27:07,975 So, um, I don't go where I'm not wanted. 479 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:12,384 Uh, so it is important to me personally that the person is wanting assistance. 480 00:27:12,384 --> 00:27:16,475 And so I like to connect and engage with them to understand that in 481 00:27:16,475 --> 00:27:21,685 terms of what I would say to family members is to maintain a relationship 482 00:27:21,695 --> 00:27:25,554 with the person and make your relationship with them, not just about. 483 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,270 The state of their home and their possessions, because that can, that can 484 00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:33,770 damage the relationship if it's always, they're always feeling like this is the 485 00:27:33,770 --> 00:27:35,409 only thing that ever gets discussed. 486 00:27:35,929 --> 00:27:40,080 If the home's in a state to still visit, to keep visiting, to keep 487 00:27:40,090 --> 00:27:44,299 going there, because once people stop visiting, sometimes it's this. 488 00:27:44,780 --> 00:27:51,710 The situation will deteriorate and to, to lead by example, I guess, in terms of your 489 00:27:51,710 --> 00:27:57,689 own life, to attend to your own clutter, uh, and your own possessions, uh, and to 490 00:27:57,709 --> 00:28:01,110 be really gentle about suggesting that there are some things that they could 491 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,019 do, uh, with people that they could. 492 00:28:03,795 --> 00:28:08,775 link with, like a professional organizer, there are therapists that can help with 493 00:28:09,025 --> 00:28:12,855 hoarding disorder as well, and there are group programs like Buried in Treasures. 494 00:28:12,855 --> 00:28:18,534 I'd love to see more of that in Australia, that the group peer support for hoarding. 495 00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:23,654 So that would be the, that would be what I would say to people, 496 00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:27,175 is I think above all maintain the relationship with your loved one. 497 00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:32,910 Catherine Ashton: And would that be similar advice in relation to, uh, 498 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,149 perhaps neurodiversity and disability? 499 00:28:36,450 --> 00:28:40,649 Do you have any particular advice for either of those 500 00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:41,700 Arwen Dropmann: situations? 501 00:28:42,249 --> 00:28:47,700 I think, I think those groups, they're such a diverse, so disability and 502 00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:49,879 neurodivergence, it's very diverse. 503 00:28:49,879 --> 00:28:53,740 So I probably can't say I have a go to piece of advice because I think there's 504 00:28:53,850 --> 00:28:55,740 so much diversity within those groups. 505 00:28:55,770 --> 00:28:58,710 It will depend on what's That's what people are coming to be with. 506 00:28:59,450 --> 00:29:01,830 Yeah, in terms of what I would say to them, yeah. 507 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:02,820 But 508 00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:06,650 Catherine Ashton: it seems to be that, uh, open lines of communication 509 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,260 seem to be key in regardless of who 510 00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:09,540 you 511 00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:09,550 Arwen Dropmann: are. 512 00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:11,510 I think so. 513 00:29:11,569 --> 00:29:12,279 I think so. 514 00:29:12,569 --> 00:29:16,340 I think that's, yeah, the case is that we don't want people's relationships 515 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:20,439 with their loved ones just to start to get focused on possessions and 516 00:29:20,439 --> 00:29:24,230 physical environments, even though that can be when you've got people 517 00:29:24,230 --> 00:29:28,210 in, in families, families and friends who may have different experience. 518 00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:29,960 and different values. 519 00:29:30,110 --> 00:29:34,070 It can be hard for them to look past when someone lives differently to them and has 520 00:29:34,070 --> 00:29:37,940 a different environment, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's right or wrong. 521 00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:39,090 It may just be different. 522 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:43,019 And for me as an organizer, if that person comes to me and says, 523 00:29:43,050 --> 00:29:45,380 I want to change, then I'm there. 524 00:29:46,629 --> 00:29:50,530 And, but I will be encouraging them to acknowledge that they might have 525 00:29:50,530 --> 00:29:54,410 people in their lives with different values, different experience, different 526 00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:59,180 preferences, and to Resist taking that on board, any judgment that's 527 00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:03,500 coming from other people who don't live in that property, particularly. 528 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,360 Occasionally there's two people that live in a property, have very 529 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,959 different preferences, but that's, that's something that professional 530 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,129 organizers deal with as well. 531 00:30:11,129 --> 00:30:14,439 How do we meet the needs of everyone in this house, given that we've got people 532 00:30:14,450 --> 00:30:16,029 with different preferences and needs. 533 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:16,580 Yeah. 534 00:30:19,530 --> 00:30:19,720 And. 535 00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:22,550 Catherine Ashton: Has there been any incidents that have 536 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,480 influenced your thoughts on, 537 00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:25,400 Arwen Dropmann: on death? 538 00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:33,230 I, I, I do think some of my professional experiences seeing, seeing loved ones 539 00:30:33,230 --> 00:30:38,059 left behind who are feeling very, very distressed at the situation 540 00:30:38,059 --> 00:30:39,320 they've been left to deal with. 541 00:30:39,869 --> 00:30:43,360 So I do have some opinions about people attending to their legacy. 542 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,810 Uh, for their loved ones and because the loved ones often feel very ambivalent 543 00:30:48,810 --> 00:30:56,479 and conflicted when left with, you know, a very full, very disorganised affairs. 544 00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:57,780 They feel very conflicted. 545 00:30:57,780 --> 00:30:58,640 They're very sad. 546 00:30:59,099 --> 00:31:00,019 They love that person. 547 00:31:00,019 --> 00:31:03,009 They can't understand why they were left in that situation. 548 00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:07,440 So, so I think attending to legacy and keeping my own affairs 549 00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:12,040 in order, encouraging people around me to try and do the same. 550 00:31:12,435 --> 00:31:16,765 While still maintaining relationships with those people would be something 551 00:31:16,765 --> 00:31:21,935 that I do care deeply about, uh, and, but, but always being respectful with 552 00:31:22,014 --> 00:31:25,985 whoever, yeah, if you've got someone in your life who's, who's older 553 00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:30,344 or has, you know, reaching toward their end of their lives, it's, it 554 00:31:30,344 --> 00:31:31,765 is still being respectful to them. 555 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:34,425 They do still need to have sovereignty and agency over their 556 00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:36,185 own possessions and make choices. 557 00:31:36,665 --> 00:31:40,185 I think it's just pointing out to them that, that they may. 558 00:31:41,235 --> 00:31:47,865 You may not have the time and the energy to, to handle things in a way that they 559 00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:53,285 would prefer if they don't take steps now to, to get their affairs in order. 560 00:31:53,665 --> 00:31:55,924 So, so my work has influenced me. 561 00:31:55,925 --> 00:31:56,385 I've also. 562 00:31:57,430 --> 00:32:03,420 Had sort of a crisis situation in my own life that's in, in, in informed 563 00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:05,260 some of my thoughts about that. 564 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:09,060 It wasn't a death, but it was, I had some family members in a very serious 565 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:13,099 car accident and who have really lifelong injuries as a result of that. 566 00:32:13,149 --> 00:32:17,319 And, and I think what that taught me was that life can change in an instant, 567 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:27,080 that, uh, that nothing is guaranteed and yeah, I think in terms of focus, I guess 568 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,859 the focus for me as a result of that is. 569 00:32:29,220 --> 00:32:32,800 When we say goodbye at the door in the morning, I send my kids to school, I, we 570 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:37,070 make sure it's a good goodbye, we have good farewells that when I say goodbye 571 00:32:37,070 --> 00:32:41,780 to someone, it is a good farewell and that we don't leave, uh, relationships 572 00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:47,639 with open regrets or open conflict, we try to, to always be leaving, parting 573 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,030 on good terms because life is uncertain, we don't know what's next and we don't 574 00:32:51,030 --> 00:32:56,270 want to leave ourselves or other people With a source of long term regret. 575 00:32:56,270 --> 00:33:00,000 I think that's probably the one thing that I would say about that matter. 576 00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:03,140 Yeah, that's something 577 00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:05,209 Catherine Ashton: very good to say about that, actually. 578 00:33:06,589 --> 00:33:09,850 Because we, we really don't know, you know, what's, what's around the corner. 579 00:33:10,700 --> 00:33:11,410 Arwen Dropmann: And have you 580 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,000 Catherine Ashton: yourself done anything to prepare for your own death, Arwen? 581 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:18,849 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, that's an interesting question. 582 00:33:18,849 --> 00:33:21,999 I don't think, I wouldn't have said that the things that I've done are 583 00:33:22,049 --> 00:33:27,255 specifically around that, but I guess, I guess given my experiences, You know, 584 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:32,735 I do try to keep my affairs pretty well organized and in order and up to date. 585 00:33:33,175 --> 00:33:37,215 Uh, so I have wills, I have power of attorney, I have a 586 00:33:37,215 --> 00:33:38,965 crisis plan for my business. 587 00:33:38,975 --> 00:33:43,655 So if something, and it is a, I, if something happens to me and I'm not able 588 00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:48,114 to give anyone any information, this is what would need to be done in my business 589 00:33:48,174 --> 00:33:51,365 to just do a crisis management of it. 590 00:33:52,010 --> 00:33:54,670 Or to wind it up if needed, if I'm not around. 591 00:33:55,050 --> 00:34:00,380 And I think having a little bit of that information available to, uh, my loved 592 00:34:00,380 --> 00:34:04,079 ones, or my friends and my colleagues that I've asked to help if that would happen. 593 00:34:04,079 --> 00:34:06,520 So I have asked people, could, would you step in and help 594 00:34:06,779 --> 00:34:08,040 my family if this happened? 595 00:34:08,050 --> 00:34:09,669 And I needed to wrap up the business. 596 00:34:10,269 --> 00:34:13,070 I have an emergency care document for my children. 597 00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:16,390 So if I'm not around, what, what happens to my kids? 598 00:34:16,390 --> 00:34:19,990 How can we keep some normality in their day to day lives? 599 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,139 We have, you know, we've asked people to be guardians for them, 600 00:34:24,140 --> 00:34:26,500 if they're still underage, if something should happen to us. 601 00:34:27,550 --> 00:34:31,929 I have close family members that know where to locate things in my 602 00:34:31,929 --> 00:34:33,909 home if they need to access them. 603 00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:38,740 Documents, if they need to access accounts and things, we have that set 604 00:34:38,740 --> 00:34:41,110 up so that that information's available. 605 00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:44,860 My paperwork's organised and easy to locate. 606 00:34:45,370 --> 00:34:49,729 Uh, it's not, it's not, it's all decluttered, like, so it's very easy to 607 00:34:49,730 --> 00:34:51,740 find what, what you need when you need it. 608 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:56,180 So I think those are all, it's not just for in cases of. 609 00:34:56,390 --> 00:34:56,820 My own death. 610 00:34:57,030 --> 00:35:01,760 It's really about, um, other critical events as well, that there's some 611 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:06,590 steps and resources for us to go to and other people to go to if that occurred. 612 00:35:06,620 --> 00:35:06,960 Yeah. 613 00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:08,770 Lovely. 614 00:35:09,990 --> 00:35:14,080 Catherine Ashton: And are there any cherished memories or traditions from 615 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:19,660 your family that you had as a child that you find that you now honour in 616 00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:21,690 your own family with your own children? 617 00:35:23,030 --> 00:35:27,689 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah, probably around seasonal events, so like Christmas 618 00:35:27,689 --> 00:35:32,575 and Easter, that's probably where the traditions really Would be focused. 619 00:35:32,575 --> 00:35:34,795 I think that's pretty common for a lot of families. 620 00:35:34,795 --> 00:35:40,505 It's those seasonal events where the traditions come out and when my children 621 00:35:40,505 --> 00:35:46,225 were younger, I put a lot of effort into building traditions for our family. 622 00:35:46,325 --> 00:35:49,664 They're older now, so they're not as keen on them, but I'm hoping 623 00:35:49,665 --> 00:35:52,874 that when they're older, they will revive them with their own family. 624 00:35:54,325 --> 00:35:55,385 Yeah, we can, we can 625 00:35:55,385 --> 00:35:56,635 Catherine Ashton: only hope, can't we? 626 00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:56,865 Yeah. 627 00:35:59,975 --> 00:36:04,355 And given your own personal experience, is there any advice or encouragement that 628 00:36:04,365 --> 00:36:07,555 you'd like to share with others that we 629 00:36:07,565 --> 00:36:08,415 Arwen Dropmann: haven't already touched on? 630 00:36:09,915 --> 00:36:17,390 I think there can be a lot of, I'll do that later, in terms of Spaces. 631 00:36:17,390 --> 00:36:19,050 So I'll declutter later. 632 00:36:20,090 --> 00:36:23,560 One that I hear a lot is I'll organise my photos when I retire. 633 00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:25,090 That one comes up a lot. 634 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,330 Like my retirement's this sort of mystical time where we're going 635 00:36:28,330 --> 00:36:29,520 to have all this time and energy. 636 00:36:29,799 --> 00:36:31,959 So I think the future generally is mystical. 637 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,500 We've got all this time and energy in the future, so it'll happen later. 638 00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:38,130 It'll, I'll take, it'll happen when I'm on holidays. 639 00:36:38,765 --> 00:36:43,185 When life settles down, which I think if we are doing that, it will be never. 640 00:36:43,745 --> 00:36:47,955 Um, so I think with Dick that, and that applies to things like decluttering, 641 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:52,335 attending to sentimental items and getting those sorted photos. 642 00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:58,480 But at paperwork, so it's very common for me to, to meet people who haven't 643 00:36:58,490 --> 00:37:02,440 really attended to any filing or paper organising for sort of like 644 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,079 a five to seven years time frame. 645 00:37:05,079 --> 00:37:07,690 So things have got way out of hand. 646 00:37:07,690 --> 00:37:11,319 It's very overwhelming and people often don't know where their 647 00:37:11,319 --> 00:37:13,120 important documents are at this point. 648 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,050 So the passport's been put somewhere safe and we don't know where that is, 649 00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:18,420 birth certificates in amongst a pile of. 650 00:37:18,485 --> 00:37:25,865 Old car bills and insurance policies so often meet people at that point and 651 00:37:25,865 --> 00:37:29,935 there's always this later when I have time when I have energy later and I 652 00:37:29,945 --> 00:37:33,565 think things like wills and power of attorney getting your legal affairs. 653 00:37:34,190 --> 00:37:39,250 Financial affairs sorted often is being put off till later, but unfortunately, 654 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:46,169 like I said earlier, things can change in an instant and, and later may not work. 655 00:37:46,410 --> 00:37:49,689 You know, it's very hard to declutter if you have a change in health status. 656 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:51,599 So we don't always see these things coming. 657 00:37:51,599 --> 00:37:56,930 So that was probably a very long way to say, not putting things off to 658 00:37:57,050 --> 00:37:59,240 sort of a magical later time is to. 659 00:38:00,325 --> 00:38:03,065 Some, if things have got right away from people, it can be very overwhelming, 660 00:38:03,065 --> 00:38:09,195 but just start doing, taking small steps to sort of get your affairs and your, 661 00:38:09,235 --> 00:38:10,815 your house and everything in order. 662 00:38:11,875 --> 00:38:12,335 And what would 663 00:38:12,335 --> 00:38:15,695 Catherine Ashton: you suggest to be sort of those first steps? 664 00:38:15,695 --> 00:38:18,115 Is it, you know, locate your passport? 665 00:38:19,594 --> 00:38:19,904 Arwen Dropmann: Yeah. 666 00:38:19,914 --> 00:38:26,115 I look, I think, yeah, that's a really good question. 667 00:38:26,145 --> 00:38:32,095 I think it's colored by my own experience though, because so if you were going to 668 00:38:32,095 --> 00:38:34,795 do one thing first, I think it would be. 669 00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:39,945 You know, locate your, your vital documents, locate your birth certificates 670 00:38:39,945 --> 00:38:43,784 and your passport and to get your wills and power of attorney sorted. 671 00:38:44,015 --> 00:38:46,095 I don't think that's where a lot of people start though. 672 00:38:46,545 --> 00:38:50,585 They often start with the physical decluttering because that's so much 673 00:38:50,605 --> 00:38:55,565 more in your face and it can feel a little bit more achievable than. 674 00:38:56,230 --> 00:38:59,460 Thinking, because, because doing wills and power, paperwork and powers 675 00:38:59,460 --> 00:39:02,210 of attorney, that actually requires really thinking about your death. 676 00:39:02,620 --> 00:39:05,289 And I do think that that's confronting for most of us. 677 00:39:05,340 --> 00:39:08,760 It also includes financial costs and making appointments and 678 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,230 everyone is quite time poor. 679 00:39:10,590 --> 00:39:13,009 But I probably would say that's where to start because that's 680 00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:16,629 the, those are the things that the clutter can wait in a crisis. 681 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:22,140 Generally, unless it's causing the crisis, but those things in a crisis 682 00:39:22,140 --> 00:39:25,979 are quite essential and those are the things that will be, you'll 683 00:39:25,979 --> 00:39:29,640 miss and will make the time more difficult if they're not in order. 684 00:39:29,910 --> 00:39:34,079 So that would be my advice, but, uh, I don't think that's 685 00:39:34,150 --> 00:39:34,990 where a lot of people do start. 686 00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:38,685 So when, if I'm doing a decluttering project with someone, usually we're 687 00:39:38,685 --> 00:39:43,925 doing the larger items, the things, the kitchen, the decor and clothing. 688 00:39:44,075 --> 00:39:47,254 And then we often move to paperwork because we've had to find it in 689 00:39:47,255 --> 00:39:48,405 all different parts of the house. 690 00:39:48,405 --> 00:39:52,964 So we just collate in one area and then we do paperwork and we might 691 00:39:52,964 --> 00:39:54,595 have to do that for several hours. 692 00:39:55,495 --> 00:39:59,625 And then during that paperwork discussion, I will talk with people about now, 693 00:40:00,115 --> 00:40:01,735 do you have your affairs in order? 694 00:40:03,130 --> 00:40:07,870 Have you got a will, have you got a power of attorney, you need to 695 00:40:07,870 --> 00:40:11,289 see a solicitor to work out what you need and to not ignore that. 696 00:40:11,290 --> 00:40:14,619 So that, that's the time where, and we'll try and collect people's vital 697 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,130 documents if we've located them. 698 00:40:16,319 --> 00:40:18,990 And if not, they've got it on their list to do to get a copy of 699 00:40:19,010 --> 00:40:22,350 their birth certificate or to renew their passport, that those sorts 700 00:40:22,350 --> 00:40:25,710 of things that would generally be if I'm meeting someone, that's how 701 00:40:25,710 --> 00:40:26,940 I would often step them through. 702 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,530 That's great to get 703 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,750 Catherine Ashton: an insight to how that process works. 704 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,100 So thanks for that, Arwen. 705 00:40:34,510 --> 00:40:37,330 Is there anything else that you'd like to cover up on today? 706 00:40:40,425 --> 00:40:44,635 Arwen Dropmann: No, I think we've done a very holistic look at organisers and how 707 00:40:44,635 --> 00:40:46,665 that might intersect with end of life. 708 00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:49,685 Uh, so yeah, thanks for the opportunity, Catherine. 709 00:40:51,385 --> 00:40:54,494 Catherine Ashton: We hope you enjoyed today's episode of Don't Be Caught 710 00:40:54,525 --> 00:40:56,694 Dead, brought to you by Critical Info. 711 00:40:57,634 --> 00:41:01,894 If you liked the episode, learnt something new, or were touched by a story you 712 00:41:01,894 --> 00:41:03,845 heard, We'd love for you to let us know. 713 00:41:03,965 --> 00:41:07,565 Send us an email, even tell your friends, subscribe so you 714 00:41:07,565 --> 00:41:09,335 don't miss out on new episodes. 715 00:41:09,515 --> 00:41:13,655 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Resources
Related Links:
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The Institute of Professional Organisers have developed a free fact sheet for the Critical Info Community ‘Preparing for End-of-life and Critical events’. This factsheet can be downloaded from our Guide section on the Critical Info Resource Hub.
- The Book, ‘The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning’ can be found here
- Arwen Dropmann's Calm Space Professional organising service
- The Institute of Professional Organisers website
- Marie Kondo
- The Home Edit
- 1800 GOT JUNK
- Buried in Treasures
- My loved one died, what do I do now?