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A lot of people apologize to
me for not knowing what to do.

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Okay, what do you know what to do?

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Like, hopefully you haven't done
many of these before, and most often

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it's the first time, and that's fine.

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That's what we're here for.

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So I'd say don't f ... Read More

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A lot of people apologize to
me for not knowing what to do.

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Okay, what do you know what to do?

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Like, hopefully you haven't done
many of these before, and most often

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it's the first time, and that's fine.

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That's what we're here for.

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So I'd say don't feel bad about not
knowing what to do or not knowing the

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process, because you'll get there.

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How would you?

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Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead, a
podcast encouraging open conversations

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about dying and the death of a loved one.

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I'm your host, Catherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to

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bring your stories of death back to life.

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Because while you may not be ready
to die, at least you can be prepared.

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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations

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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.

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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend

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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First

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Nation peoples around the globe.

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Today we have Funeral Director and
doer of many great things, Mon Jones.

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She is the Funeral Director
at The Last Hurrah.

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The Last Hurrah's mission is simple.

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First, to offer reasonably priced
funerals and uniquely personal farewells,

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an end of life ritual that reflects
each individual's authentic self.

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Second, is to offer a gentle
and secure circle of support

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to those grieving a loss.

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Thanks for being with us, Mon.

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Thanks for having me.

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That was a very

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Accurate summary, I think.

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Now, most funeral homes are a family
affair, and it seems like The Last

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Hurrah is also becoming a family affair.

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Tell me, what motivated you to
start working at The Last Hurrah?

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It was

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really just a perfect storm of
coincidence and timing and opportunity.

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It was not on the cards for me.

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It wasn't on my radar.

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If you'd asked me 12 months ago, if I
would be doing this now, I'd laugh it off.

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But yeah, it was just a moment in
time where I happened to be looking

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for a different line of work.

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They needed someone.

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There were a few stop gaps
that I filled in the interim.

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And then it just sort of evolved
into me becoming part of furniture.

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So yeah, it was just, it was
a really natural progression.

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And yeah, I don't know, happenstance.

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Faked, if you believe in fate, but yeah,
I'm, I'm certainly very grateful for the

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opportunity and loving every minute of it.

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And so

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your sister is Daz Jones, she's the co
founder with Kimber of Blast Hurrah.

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And I believe there's also
extended family involved.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Our cousin Chelsea also

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has come on board.

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Fantastic.

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She was moving over from New Zealand
and again, just, there was a gap that

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needed to be filled and she came on
and yeah, it's, it's going really well.

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That's great.

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And tell me, obviously you're
from New Zealand, if people

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haven't picked up your accent.

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North.

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Yep.

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Uh, whereabouts are you from?

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Top of the South.

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Lovely.

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And with your heritage, when you think
about the ethos of what's going on, Last

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Haras stands for and what Kimber and
staff have created and you're adding to

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is that deep connection with community
and do you believe that that's actually

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coming from perhaps your heritage and
your background and how you Value family.

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So I think it's Fano that
you actually refer to it.

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Yeah, I think I mean, the, the, the term
whānau means family, and I think in a

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funeral context, being from New Zealand,
being exposed to sort of Māori funeral

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culture, I think what Starrs and Kimber
are trying to sort of bring into people's

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lives here is more of a home funeral,
or bringing funeral into the home.

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And extending that to sort of
demystifying it and having a bit more

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control over the process, slowing
down of the process, being with

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your person after they have died.

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So there's sort of that element of it.

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I think it's really what we're trying
to do in a way, make it a little bit

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more hands on and a little bit less
sort of disconnected and something

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that a funeral director sort of
takes away and does on their own and

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making families part of the process.

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So bringing people into the
process, I suppose, is what we try

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and do.

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And from what I've seen of, just really
through your social posts, has been

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that you seem to celebrate family
in all forms and regardless of what

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that is conventionally defined as.

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Do you want to tell me a little bit
about how you work with the loved ones

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when someone has died and how do you
go through the process of making sure

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that, that family is at the centre?

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Yeah.

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But that's a really good question
because there's sort of a legal element

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to family and who organises funeral,
who's the official next of kin.

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And we try and sort of open
that circle up a little bit.

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So it's really, there's often not
just one person who is the official

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next of kin dealing with and
going through the funeral process.

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So it's not unusual for us to have an
arrangement with sort of three full

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blown 10, 15 people involved and all
bringing their ideas to the table.

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You know, I often sit in an arrangement
with families who have sort of six kids.

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And I mean, They can all have different
ideas about what they like and all

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of those different things and try and
come together and create something that

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everyone's happy with, doesn't always
work, but that's certainly the goal.

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So sort of extending those
options to, to the wider family.

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And I've had conversations with other
funeral directors, and they certainly say

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the same things that you're saying to me.

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But I think, what would you think
would be the point of difference

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with, you know, I suppose, let's be
honest, you guys seem to be going a lot

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further with accommodating requests.

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Not everyone would consider some, having
a, The tote as a venue as something that

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would be a conventional part of a funeral.

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So it seems to be that your brief
or your ability to accommodate

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requests is a lot larger scope
than most are normally used to.

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Yeah,

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I think one of the things we're quite
good at is sitting and listening to all

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of the different things that people are
saying about their person, you know, it

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can be anything on, you know, dad worked
at a golf course for years and years

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and the golf club was his entire life.

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And so that could be a throwaway
comment that someone makes, but in

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our mind, we're sitting there going,
Oh, maybe a golf course would be a

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really good venue for this funeral.

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Or maybe we could hand out golf
balls as everyone walks in or,

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you know, we integrate that into
different parts of the ceremony.

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So I think we're just naturally quite
good at picking up all of those, you

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know, throw away comments about a
person and sort of thinking, well, if

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this was a really big part of their
life, let's say the toke, for example,

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or they went to the toke all the time.

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It was their favorite place on earth.

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Okay, why don't we try and
have the funeral there?

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Or a really good example recently
was a gentleman whose wife had died.

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He was renovating a combi van and
As we were going through the process

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of looking at all the photos and
creating the slideshow, they've,

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they've traveled all over Europe in
a Kombi, you know, their whole life.

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So, you know, why don't we try
and use a Kombi as the hearse?

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And that conversation was, Oh my
God, we're renovating a hearse.

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Maybe we can use this.

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Turns out it wasn't roadworthy, but we
got there in the end at the last minute.

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But all of those little throwaway
comments, I think we are constantly

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trying to grab and think how can
we Make this more about them.

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That makes sense.

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So if all of those little personal
items that just, you know, come out

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when you're having a conversation with
someone about someone they love, all

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those little things matter and because I
write ceremonies, so I'm always searching

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for those little things that are going
to make it more about that person.

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And can you give us a little bit of
an insight about your backgrounds,

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because is it that diversity that
allows you to then look at things

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with a little bit more innovation?

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So I know yours is in food.

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Yeah, well, originally in food and then
I worked in logistics for a lot of years.

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I think my background is
really an organizational role.

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So I'm a highly organized person and I
can, you know, schedule very well and I'm.

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pathologically early to
everything, so that's great.

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I think the other thing that
sort of helps is I don't come

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from any other funeral home.

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I've never worked anywhere else.

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I don't have any preconceived ideas
about what a funeral should look like.

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And the only funeral company I
know is the L'Ostera, so this

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all feels very normal to me.

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I don't really have
anything to compare it to.

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So I guess I just, you know, Being a good
people person and a good listener and an

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attention to detail sort of person, you
know, listening all the time, picking

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up on little quirks and little nuances
and thinking about how I can sort of

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weave that into a funeral ceremony.

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And I'm just really lucky that
I work somewhere that basically

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anything's on the table.

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There's limits, you know, we operate
if, as long as it's within the law,

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you know, we'll give it a go, but
that support and freedom is there.

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So I'm really very grateful for
that because that's quite rare.

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It is.

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And tell me, can you talk me through
the process when you're sitting with a

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family and how you craft, like I know
you were just saying you're listening to

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certain tidbits that they actually drop.

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How do you craft that ability to
hold space as a funeral director

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and say the appropriate things?

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Well, I probably don't always
say the appropriate things.

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I'm sure I've dropped some clangers.

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Often how I'll start is, you know, we,
I invite them into the space if, if

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they're coming into our space, if I'm
going into their home, you know, it's

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a little bit different, but you know,
sit down, can I get you a glass of wine?

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Would you like a cup of tea?

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We've got a couple of cats in the
office, so they're usually lurking

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around and all of those little
things work to put people at ease.

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You know, if you're going to
someone's home now, that's great.

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They're in their own space.

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So there is, that eases
there straight away.

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But when they're coming into our
space, that's sort of how I do it.

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Often the first thing I say to a family
is, right, hit me with your ideas,

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dreams, things you hate, things you love
about what you want the ceremony to be.

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And that is a very open ended question.

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But, you know, I don't think
I've ever had anyone sort of sit

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there and not know what to say.

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Someone will usually chime in
and be like, Oh, look, good.

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I don't know, just, he was
just obsessed with the garden.

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Like he was just out there all the
time, you know, he was a great father.

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He loved.

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Billy Joel and, you know,
all these little things.

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And we just want to, most people are
sort of saying things like, we really

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want to make sure that this reflects
him in like garden straight away.

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I'm thinking, okay, what are
the outdoor venues we've gotten?

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Okay.

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Well, do we have somewhere with
like in a garden sitting, you

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know, it just takes off from there.

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And I've got a list of things
that I need to run by a family.

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But I would say it sort of, it comes
out in a different order every time

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it's just sort of flows organically.

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Like I would jump on that garden thing
first because getting a venue confirmed

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and locked in is, is really priority
number one because everything else

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flows off that and it gives the family
the ability to tell people when and

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where the funeral is going to be and
people can start planning accordingly.

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So I'd start, you know, thinking,
Oh, you know, I've got these.

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Great outdoor venues, what part
of town do you want it to be in?

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How many people are you expecting?

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And that sort of narrows and
narrows and narrows to a venue.

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And then we sort of get into the
slightly more challenging part of it.

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Okay, do you want to
see your person again?

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Do you want to spend time with them?

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That can be in our vigil space, or
it could be in your family home.

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We, we also arrange for that to happen.

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And, you know, usually from there, that
sort of You know, morphs into, would you

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like to be dressed in, you know, would
you, do you have any special clothing?

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00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:36,854
Are there any kids in the family,
would they maybe want to do some

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artwork we can place in the coffin?

221
00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:42,574
And all of these questions
just sort of glow at the time.

222
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,284
And then there's a lot of the
sort of more mundane hospitality,

223
00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:48,355
like food, drink, flowers.

224
00:12:48,864 --> 00:12:50,224
Seating, you know, all that sort of stuff.

225
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,614
But for me, that sort of comes at the end.

226
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:56,255
I'm always asking, you know, have you
got people out of town or overseas that

227
00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,625
might want to be involved in a funeral?

228
00:12:58,005 --> 00:12:59,425
Would you like us to live stream it?

229
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,834
It generally goes for an hour,
sometimes less, sometimes more.

230
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:07,655
But the first half of it is
really me just asking questions.

231
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:08,884
What do you want this to look like?

232
00:13:09,295 --> 00:13:12,675
What do you want people to feel
when they come and send off?

233
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:18,990
The person you love, what is important for
us on your behalf to try and convey about

234
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,990
this person to the people in the room?

235
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:26,139
You know, are there any fears or
worries, you know, all of those things

236
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,779
just build and build until you sort of
get to the pointy end and you're like,

237
00:13:29,779 --> 00:13:33,520
okay, well, pretty confident we'll
use either this, this or this venue.

238
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,990
They might really like a
particular kind of food.

239
00:13:37,455 --> 00:13:39,375
Mum just obsessed with Thai food.

240
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:41,855
I'm like, so I'm, as soon as someone
would say that, I'd be like, okay,

241
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:45,345
cool, caterers I know are doing
Thai, you know, all of these little

242
00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:47,175
things sort of come into play.

243
00:13:47,195 --> 00:13:52,144
But that's, yeah, I think I start the
arrangement with a very open ended,

244
00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:56,555
basically, what's your dream funeral
look like for the, for your person?

245
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:02,185
And yeah, I get a lot of my, you
know, meat and potatoes from there.

246
00:14:02,704 --> 00:14:07,635
It's a really interesting process
that you invite people to think big

247
00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:11,665
initially, you know, because before
you get caught in the logistics,

248
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:15,954
though, yeah, that's a, that's a really
fascinating technique that you have.

249
00:14:16,074 --> 00:14:19,374
But I do love the fact that you,
you definitely are a logistics woman

250
00:14:19,415 --> 00:14:21,285
when you say, okay, then you, right.

251
00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:22,645
The thing.

252
00:14:22,655 --> 00:14:22,694
Yeah.

253
00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:27,655
Now tell me, where's the importance
that you place on really.

254
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:30,805
getting people to slow the process down.

255
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:32,555
How do you do that?

256
00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:39,195
Because I think traditionally we've been
told to, you know, do it in a certain way.

257
00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:41,905
So how do you encourage
and put people at ease?

258
00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:45,945
I think just generally, because
deaths and funerals are a little bit

259
00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:51,055
mysterious, people don't generally
know how long a person can last.

260
00:14:51,365 --> 00:14:52,775
I mean, their physical being.

261
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:58,354
One of the things that was a big surprise
for me when I first came into this line of

262
00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:02,114
work was just how long a person can wait.

263
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:05,564
You know, it's in a climate
controlled environment and that

264
00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,115
was quite eye opening for me.

265
00:15:07,145 --> 00:15:07,985
And, you know, I've.

266
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:13,240
Stas is my sister, I've been
close ish to, not, not within the

267
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,860
business, but you know, just through
knowing her, how it all works.

268
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,180
But even to me, it was like, Oh
my gosh, you can wait that long?

269
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:24,709
So I don't think many people
realize that they can just wait.

270
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,550
And how long is that, Mon?

271
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:30,015
Well, it's different for everyone.

272
00:15:30,445 --> 00:15:33,755
There's a lot of different factors
that play into the speed of

273
00:15:33,755 --> 00:15:35,505
composition and the circumstances.

274
00:15:35,985 --> 00:15:41,244
And then there's a lot of factors in
terms of the family and what they may or

275
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,314
may not be willing to see or experience.

276
00:15:44,814 --> 00:15:50,104
So, I guess sometimes you can wait
too long as well, you know, from the

277
00:15:50,104 --> 00:15:54,564
time someone dies until the time the
funeral is, it, it's quite a stressful,

278
00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:59,494
full on process for a family and
can be quite a lot of anticipation.

279
00:15:59,504 --> 00:16:02,024
And I know a lot of people sort
of have this, once the funeral's

280
00:16:02,024 --> 00:16:03,584
finished, it's like a, Weight off.

281
00:16:03,624 --> 00:16:05,845
I was like, okay, now I can move on.

282
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:09,725
And that, if you extend that time too
long, sometimes that can extend that

283
00:16:09,975 --> 00:16:12,645
sort of heightened stress period as well.

284
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:15,194
So yeah, how long is that period of time?

285
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,555
It can be a month, can be two weeks.

286
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:22,354
You certainly don't need to get
everything done within seven days.

287
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:26,525
So one thing I find myself saying
often is, you know, you can give

288
00:16:26,525 --> 00:16:27,985
yourself a little bit more time.

289
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:34,274
If someone's passing is sudden and
unexpected, it can just take a few

290
00:16:34,274 --> 00:16:38,265
days for everyone to come back down
to earth a bit and be in a position

291
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:43,324
to, you know, think about flowers and
food and drinks and all of those things

292
00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:45,314
that, you know, down the priority list.

293
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:48,934
But yeah, I've certainly had to
say it on multiple occasions.

294
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,100
Please just give it a few more days.

295
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:54,030
Why don't you just, just
rest and I'll call you in two

296
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,220
days and we'll go from there.

297
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,049
Nothing bad is going to happen if
we just leave it two more days.

298
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:01,229
And what's the response when,
from families and loved ones

299
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,350
when you say that to them?

300
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,299
Relief

301
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:09,240
and a bit of, Oh, okay, like I've
been given permission to just rest

302
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,920
because I think a lot of people.

303
00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:12,535
Quite, I'd probably be the same.

304
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:16,685
Just go into hyper organizational
mode and go, okay, I've got to do

305
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:17,805
this and this and this and this.

306
00:17:17,805 --> 00:17:20,074
And I've got to call the funeral
director and I've got to choose

307
00:17:20,074 --> 00:17:22,415
a coffin and I've got to choose
flowers and blah, blah, blah.

308
00:17:22,415 --> 00:17:25,875
You know, and sometimes that can
be a good thing because it's a nice

309
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,694
distraction from your feelings.

310
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:34,404
But I think people need to hear it from
someone else that like, oh, okay, I've

311
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:36,504
been given permission to just slow down.

312
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:40,830
Isn't that interesting that we, we
don't listen to our own bodies because

313
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,230
obviously, especially if it's an
unexpected death, that's that fight or

314
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,130
flight that we automatically go into.

315
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:47,270
Yeah.

316
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,040
We have to actually wait for
someone else to tell us it's

317
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:50,719
okay.

318
00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:54,470
It's very, very interesting.

319
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,759
And if I can take responsibility for
just telling people to slow down,

320
00:17:58,759 --> 00:18:01,589
I'm very happy to do it because
it's, there's, there's no rush.

321
00:18:02,085 --> 00:18:03,605
The worst has happened already.

322
00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:05,264
Yeah.

323
00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:05,774
Yeah.

324
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:09,085
So, you know, it's not going
to get worse from here.

325
00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:10,775
That's very, very true.

326
00:18:10,775 --> 00:18:15,625
And I'm sure, as you said, when you tell
people that they just must be relieved.

327
00:18:15,785 --> 00:18:16,215
Yeah.

328
00:18:16,285 --> 00:18:17,345
Yeah, absolutely.

329
00:18:17,405 --> 00:18:21,645
And too, like nowadays it's almost
rare for everyone to live in the

330
00:18:21,645 --> 00:18:25,145
same city or the same town and in
a family or in a friendship group.

331
00:18:25,665 --> 00:18:30,340
So having a bit of extra time, you
know, okay, well, You know, I'll

332
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:33,880
call Jim, he's in the UK, he's
going to come over for the funeral.

333
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:34,790
When does he have to get here?

334
00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:35,720
But I was like, Oh, cool.

335
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,520
If you've got people coming overseas,
let's just give yourself a few more days.

336
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:41,769
So everyone can get here and,
and do what we need to do.

337
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:46,760
There's also another way we
sort of extend the funeral date.

338
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,550
Two is by having the cremation
first and actually having a

339
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:50,949
memorial instead of the funeral.

340
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,669
So what that basically means
is instead of having the coffin

341
00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,800
present at the funeral, we just have
the ashes on the memorial table.

342
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,679
So, I mean, if you're going down that
route, there is no time restraint.

343
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:06,149
If the cremation's already happened,
you can just have the ashes.

344
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:10,670
The memorial, whenever you're ready,
and we have done that with a year

345
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:15,220
or two years between when someone
has died and that's absolutely fine.

346
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:21,690
There is actually no rush, but that's a
very personal decision and every family

347
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:25,309
is going to make that differently and
there's a million things to weigh up

348
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,529
and making that decision, but yeah,
time is there and there's a way of doing

349
00:19:29,529 --> 00:19:30,984
it if that's what you're looking for.

350
00:19:31,425 --> 00:19:36,405
And tell me, I'm fascinated about on your
website, you clearly state your prices.

351
00:19:36,735 --> 00:19:42,985
You also clearly let people know
that you offer a cardboard coffin to

352
00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,855
every person who use your service.

353
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:48,174
Tell me a little bit about
the motivation behind that.

354
00:19:48,285 --> 00:19:52,245
Why have you decided to be
really transparent and then also

355
00:19:52,245 --> 00:19:53,654
offer that cardboard coffin?

356
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:58,715
I think the philosophy of offering
affordable funerals is basically

357
00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:00,044
how the whole thing started.

358
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,745
I know for Starrs and Kimber,
that is something that's

359
00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:04,254
really dear to their heart.

360
00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:11,084
And I won't speak for them, but I would
say it's like number one on the ethos

361
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,555
of when I first started the business.

362
00:20:13,064 --> 00:20:16,105
And I think the funerals
cost a lot of money, right?

363
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:20,195
So, and it's a lot of money to come up
with in a very short amount of time.

364
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:22,485
And it's a huge stress for people.

365
00:20:22,845 --> 00:20:25,415
In an already very stressful situation.

366
00:20:25,415 --> 00:20:30,355
So it's really important to us that people
know exactly what it's going to cost.

367
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:33,665
And it's not going to be any surprises
or hidden extras or anything like

368
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:38,035
that, which is why we have all of our
prices listed on a website like that.

369
00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:38,725
And from.

370
00:20:38,825 --> 00:20:42,355
My first engagement with a family,
when I first send them an email,

371
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:46,585
I include a quote in that, because
I want people to know what they're

372
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:48,255
in for from the very beginning.

373
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:51,945
Usually the first quote I send
has lots of things on it, you

374
00:20:51,945 --> 00:20:53,324
know, optional extras or whatever.

375
00:20:54,195 --> 00:20:55,195
This is how much they are.

376
00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:57,234
You don't have to take
them, but they'll be it.

377
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:59,404
And I want you to know exactly
how much it's going to cost you.

378
00:20:59,404 --> 00:21:04,575
So I think that's just being a good
person, like not giving anyone, A rude

379
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:08,175
shock when they get the bill and, well,
you know, from a business perspective,

380
00:21:08,395 --> 00:21:12,845
people, I think it's just good business,
but they're not to be any surprises.

381
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:16,784
You know, we, we've got a really good
record, you know, we don't have any issues

382
00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:18,054
with people not paying their invoices.

383
00:21:18,095 --> 00:21:19,684
And I, I think that's a big part of it.

384
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:23,775
So there's also that element too, but
I think we just want everyone to have

385
00:21:23,845 --> 00:21:28,575
a nice, respectful funeral that really
reflects the person that they love.

386
00:21:29,165 --> 00:21:34,735
And I know for ourselves, personally,
we had four friends who have died in

387
00:21:34,735 --> 00:21:42,185
the last sort of 18 months who have
had to crowdfund in, or in some way, or

388
00:21:42,504 --> 00:21:46,994
each sort of nominate what part of the
memorial they're paying for, or, you know,

389
00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:50,595
someone's paying for the drinks, someone's
getting the catering, that kind of thing.

390
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:54,385
Is that something that you
commonly see, or have you seen an

391
00:21:54,385 --> 00:21:56,195
increase in that as time's gone on?

392
00:21:56,195 --> 00:21:57,799
Mm I would say there's been an

393
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,559
increase.

394
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,639
I think we've always done it that way.

395
00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,480
And by Done it that way.

396
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,730
I mean, you know, if you want
it potluck or bringing your own

397
00:22:07,730 --> 00:22:09,960
flowers, all of those things, I

398
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,140
love when people do that.

399
00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:12,590
Can you explain the potluck?

400
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,510
Cause not everyone will
be familiar with it.

401
00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:14,810
I love

402
00:22:14,870 --> 00:22:15,390
the term.

403
00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:20,610
Um, so when everyone brings a plate,
so everyone coming to the funeral will

404
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,900
bring something along and instead of
the family having to pay for catering.

405
00:22:24,334 --> 00:22:24,684
Yep.

406
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:25,314
Um.

407
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:28,094
And when we say plate, we're not
literally meaning plate, we're, we're

408
00:22:28,094 --> 00:22:30,094
talking about a dish for people to eat.

409
00:22:30,095 --> 00:22:30,975
A plate

410
00:22:31,074 --> 00:22:31,934
with food on it.

411
00:22:32,144 --> 00:22:32,434
Yeah.

412
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:37,534
Um, and they're, they're the best,
like, hey, the food is just the best

413
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:41,144
at those funerals, but, cause it's all
homemade, but everyone coming to the

414
00:22:41,144 --> 00:22:44,174
funeral feels like they've actually
been able to do something to help.

415
00:22:44,254 --> 00:22:49,960
So, you know, it's like a, I think it's,
Just a really beautiful, loving act to

416
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:55,140
give food to people who are struggling
and, and just the food is just better.

417
00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:59,350
So it's, it's a really nice thing,
but no, we, it's really common

418
00:22:59,350 --> 00:23:02,990
for us to see people all chipping
in and paying for a component.

419
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,570
I've never been asked, but we don't
usually sort of separate the invoice

420
00:23:06,570 --> 00:23:07,720
out to a number of different parties.

421
00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:09,650
People just come together
and figure that out.

422
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,560
Flowers is a really good one because
I often see people who are like,

423
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,720
Oh, I'm going to have to pay.

424
00:23:15,035 --> 00:23:20,915
550 for a casket spray, that's a lot of
money to drop on flowers, and it is, but

425
00:23:20,955 --> 00:23:25,985
you know what, one of the most beautiful
arrangements I've seen was just a pile of

426
00:23:26,025 --> 00:23:31,785
cut gum leaves on top of the casket, and
it cost nothing, like literally just from

427
00:23:32,174 --> 00:23:36,844
off the park, across the road, so you'd
certainly, it don't have to, and I think

428
00:23:36,844 --> 00:23:40,745
this sort of comes back into that, there's
no script you you have to follow, there's

429
00:23:40,745 --> 00:23:44,795
no rules, if you You don't want to spend
it on flowers, you don't have to, but

430
00:23:44,795 --> 00:23:46,325
you can still make it really beautiful.

431
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:48,255
You just have to be a
bit creative about it.

432
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:49,420
Yeah.

433
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:52,970
And, and while we're sort of talking
about the ways in which to be creative,

434
00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:59,820
how have you incorporated ritual into the
different ceremonies that you provide?

435
00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:05,539
It's a really good question because I know
Kim Bob, one of, one of the co founders,

436
00:24:05,539 --> 00:24:09,760
this is really her wheelhouse and it's
never something I gave a lot of thought to

437
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,640
until I started working at The Last Hurrah
and I'm getting more into it and more

438
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:20,600
into it and more impressed surprised that
this wasn't something I'd ever considered

439
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:25,520
before, but just maybe it's like a bit of
a sort of white guilt thing where you're

440
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,290
like, Oh, we don't have our own rituals.

441
00:24:27,290 --> 00:24:30,350
We're just white, but we actually do.

442
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,010
And you know, one of the things we do
in our ceremonies is a candle lighting

443
00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:39,935
ceremony where, We'll speak a little
bit about fire and what it evokes and

444
00:24:39,935 --> 00:24:43,865
how it's been used historically and how
it's been used in ritual historically.

445
00:24:44,325 --> 00:24:47,925
And we invite people up to come and
significant people to come up and light

446
00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:53,455
a candle near the coffin and that sort
of will just But the fire will just be

447
00:24:53,455 --> 00:24:59,715
there throughout the ceremony and just
highlighting what fire has meant over time

448
00:24:59,765 --> 00:25:01,145
and how we're using it in this context.

449
00:25:01,145 --> 00:25:03,915
It's just like a really
simple but lovely thing.

450
00:25:03,985 --> 00:25:07,255
We incorporate silence as a
little bit of a ritual sometimes.

451
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,455
So, you know, sometimes can
be quite a heavy ceremony.

452
00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:14,945
A lot of people are crying
and talking about some really

453
00:25:14,945 --> 00:25:16,085
heavy things in some cases.

454
00:25:16,095 --> 00:25:19,375
And then sometimes we'll just go right,
we're just going to have a moment.

455
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:20,054
It's just.

456
00:25:20,550 --> 00:25:24,440
Reflect and just think about those things
about that person that you really love.

457
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:30,079
And it's a really great kind of circuit
breaker, tension, I suppose, and give

458
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,220
everyone just, just take a breath.

459
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:36,489
Ritual might be too strong a word for
that part of the ceremony, but it's

460
00:25:36,489 --> 00:25:39,010
sort of, it's a bit of a resetting.

461
00:25:39,410 --> 00:25:39,949
And is that something

462
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,730
that you have kind of in your bag
of tricks that if you see and you're

463
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:48,049
reading the room and it's really,
really heavy, do you introduce that?

464
00:25:48,389 --> 00:25:51,129
Or is it something that's already
pre planned with the family?

465
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,570
For me, it's something, it's scripted.

466
00:25:54,189 --> 00:25:54,500
Yep.

467
00:25:54,990 --> 00:25:59,100
I'm at, you know, I'm sort of at the
beginning of my celebrancy journey.

468
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:03,800
And I would love to get to the
point in my career where I feel

469
00:26:03,820 --> 00:26:06,339
confident enough to just do it.

470
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,949
Sort of go off road and
introduce something like that.

471
00:26:10,399 --> 00:26:12,860
Kimber probably would and
does it really, really well.

472
00:26:12,899 --> 00:26:16,159
And it's, you know, just picks
the right moment for it to happen.

473
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:17,320
And it's just beautiful.

474
00:26:17,620 --> 00:26:19,159
I really hope I get to that point.

475
00:26:19,629 --> 00:26:23,750
Well, it sounds like you're very much
on the right path to get them on.

476
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:25,159
I hope so.

477
00:26:25,159 --> 00:26:25,899
I have.

478
00:26:26,330 --> 00:26:27,100
Very good, Clyde.

479
00:26:27,790 --> 00:26:32,770
And tell me, what sort of things have
surprised you since coming on board?

480
00:26:32,790 --> 00:26:37,019
You've obviously surprised at how long
you can wait with someone's funeral.

481
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,670
What are the other things
that have come as a surprise?

482
00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:42,989
Even since Stas and Kim have started
the business, you know, seeing

483
00:26:42,989 --> 00:26:44,804
you've been on the sidelines as well.

484
00:26:45,065 --> 00:26:46,035
On a personal level,

485
00:26:46,045 --> 00:26:50,885
the biggest surprise for me is that
I'm able to do it and that I feel like

486
00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:54,665
I'm doing okay at it, you know, it's
never something I'd considered before

487
00:26:54,675 --> 00:27:01,385
until a year ago, I had only seen
sort of one dead body in my life and

488
00:27:01,465 --> 00:27:03,884
it was shocking and difficult for me.

489
00:27:04,745 --> 00:27:09,365
And then, you know, cut to 12
months later and, you know, I've

490
00:27:09,415 --> 00:27:14,985
witnessed a full cranial autopsy and
BAM and does feel like a big deal.

491
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:20,030
But it doesn't feel like this horrible
thing, you know, it's like, it's a part

492
00:27:20,030 --> 00:27:23,859
of your job, but also like a beautiful
thing to witness in a, in a weird way.

493
00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:28,959
So it's a, it's just been a huge shock
to me that that was in me and I'm

494
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,570
capable of it because I've, I say this
quite a lot, but none of us realize

495
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:38,680
what we're really capable of until you
sort of pushed and you do something

496
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,120
and you're like, Oh, I can do this.

497
00:27:41,629 --> 00:27:42,129
Sorry.

498
00:27:42,475 --> 00:27:48,085
Yeah, the biggest surprise to me is
that I'm able to handle a dead person.

499
00:27:48,665 --> 00:27:51,274
And tell me, Mon, are you
comfortable to talk about that

500
00:27:51,274 --> 00:27:54,935
experience where you'd seen the
person who had died a year before?

501
00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:56,775
When I've seen in the past?

502
00:27:56,845 --> 00:27:57,515
Yeah.

503
00:27:57,635 --> 00:28:03,365
Well, it wasn't the first Interaction I
had with the last hurrah of seeing a dead

504
00:28:03,365 --> 00:28:07,005
person was very gentle and very slow.

505
00:28:07,165 --> 00:28:11,955
So, you know, first it was, we've got
someone in our care who is, they are

506
00:28:11,964 --> 00:28:14,255
wrapped in a shroud, so you're not
going to see their face, you know.

507
00:28:14,395 --> 00:28:17,394
We'll take you in and just be
in there and see how you feel.

508
00:28:17,620 --> 00:28:21,280
But that was pretty much it,
like, you know, full of like, yep,

509
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:22,360
I'm just going to go in there.

510
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,170
I'm just going to do it, you know,
like psyching myself up for it.

511
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:29,219
And you go in there and you see
them and they're all wrapped up

512
00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:32,820
and they put a little electronic
candle next to them in the mortuary.

513
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:34,299
And it's beautiful.

514
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,169
And I've been cared for really lovely.

515
00:28:36,179 --> 00:28:38,850
And, and then you're sitting
and you're like, I'm so worried

516
00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:41,129
about, this is so no big deal.

517
00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:42,870
And then it's like, Oh, okay.

518
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:46,580
You know, we've got a person, you know, do
you want to maybe watch us do a dressing?

519
00:28:46,580 --> 00:28:46,879
Yeah.

520
00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:48,939
And you're there, but not touching.

521
00:28:48,939 --> 00:28:50,970
And then you do that and
you're like, Oh, that was okay.

522
00:28:50,970 --> 00:28:52,290
And then cut to 12 months later.

523
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:55,929
Oh, we're doing a full embalm of
someone who's had a cranial, see,

524
00:28:55,929 --> 00:28:57,310
would you like to come and watch us?

525
00:28:57,910 --> 00:29:02,180
Well, this escalated quickly,
but the reason we do that.

526
00:29:02,190 --> 00:29:05,879
And the reason we witnessed those
things is so we can understand the

527
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,190
experience when they're trying to explain
it to a family, because it's hard.

528
00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:13,784
It's, it's, it's a hard thing for
a family to go through knowing that

529
00:29:13,784 --> 00:29:15,205
that has happened to that person.

530
00:29:15,665 --> 00:29:19,984
And I can't guide them through
that or give them any information

531
00:29:19,984 --> 00:29:21,504
on it if I haven't seen it myself.

532
00:29:21,764 --> 00:29:23,084
That's how I feel about it anyway.

533
00:29:23,085 --> 00:29:29,104
So I sort of feel like if I haven't gone
through it and witnessed it, how am I

534
00:29:29,105 --> 00:29:30,365
going to explain it to someone else?

535
00:29:30,895 --> 00:29:36,115
And sometimes that's part of the job, you
know, that's, it's a, I don't think many

536
00:29:36,115 --> 00:29:41,344
people like the idea of that happening
to a loved one and had a lot of people

537
00:29:41,345 --> 00:29:46,725
are very unaware of the coronial process
and what goes on, just knowing about it.

538
00:29:47,215 --> 00:29:50,175
demystifies it a bit and makes
it a little bit less scary.

539
00:29:51,895 --> 00:29:55,735
That's why in the guide that I wrote,
My Loved Ones Died, What Do I Do Now?

540
00:29:55,735 --> 00:30:00,415
there is a bit that I cover off in
relation to the coronial process.

541
00:30:00,435 --> 00:30:03,935
If someone does have to go to the
coroner, because there is that sort of

542
00:30:04,185 --> 00:30:06,285
mystery about it, and what does it mean?

543
00:30:07,350 --> 00:30:10,920
Just on the point that you were saying
that previously, the first time that

544
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,710
you saw a dead body, that was before
you started at the Last Hurrah.

545
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:16,730
How was that experience for you?

546
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:22,900
When you look at that experience that
you had personally, how were you treated

547
00:30:22,950 --> 00:30:25,710
then to how you treat people now?

548
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:31,220
Well, I've heard that it was in a
church and there was no one in there.

549
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:31,500
So.

550
00:30:32,125 --> 00:30:35,405
I mean, I was a kid, I might have
been like 10 or something like that.

551
00:30:35,455 --> 00:30:37,635
And it was a great grandmother's funeral.

552
00:30:38,105 --> 00:30:42,035
My great grandmother's just with the
open casket in the middle of the aisle,

553
00:30:42,245 --> 00:30:44,455
you know, at the front of the church.

554
00:30:44,455 --> 00:30:46,885
They walk in and there's no one in there.

555
00:30:46,895 --> 00:30:50,445
And obviously my parents were
there holding our hand and whatnot.

556
00:30:50,445 --> 00:30:55,305
But it was sort of just, nothing's
really explained, you know.

557
00:30:56,035 --> 00:30:59,745
May I'm sure mom and dad were probably
like now we're going in to see grandma

558
00:30:59,745 --> 00:31:04,795
and she's not with us anymore I'm sure
they went through that but I think it

559
00:31:04,795 --> 00:31:07,625
was yeah, it might be an age thing too.

560
00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:13,235
I was just like Oh, this is weird and why
is she dead, you know, all that stuff.

561
00:31:13,425 --> 00:31:17,525
But I think when we're having a
vigil and someone's coming in, I'm

562
00:31:17,535 --> 00:31:21,115
always thinking maybe this person
hasn't seen a dead person before.

563
00:31:21,585 --> 00:31:25,755
How do I make that as comfortable
as it can be, you know, come

564
00:31:25,755 --> 00:31:27,025
in, have a seat, have a drink.

565
00:31:27,435 --> 00:31:31,025
Now, the person is, It's, it's
been great, they're beautiful.

566
00:31:31,575 --> 00:31:34,285
You're free to touch them if you
want to, you can pick up their hand.

567
00:31:34,565 --> 00:31:38,615
They're going to feel cold because they've
been in the fridge, but they're, they're

568
00:31:38,625 --> 00:31:44,385
still the person and they're yours to,
you know, kiss or whatever you want to do.

569
00:31:44,765 --> 00:31:46,545
Kids are an interesting thing.

570
00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:53,140
Element because they've got lots of
questions and I love to be able to answer

571
00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:57,120
all of those questions, but it's a little
bit, you know, some of the questions are

572
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,390
like, Oh, right, well, you really went
there, you know, they're quite like, I

573
00:32:01,390 --> 00:32:06,074
had a kid asked me once, why do their
eyes look like, Oh, no, there was this.

574
00:32:06,415 --> 00:32:10,755
This kid was asking me what do eyes
look like after someone dies and,

575
00:32:11,445 --> 00:32:12,925
you know, they deflate a little bit.

576
00:32:13,255 --> 00:32:17,895
So, having to explain that to a kid is
challenging, but a very valid question

577
00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:22,555
and maybe them knowing the answer to that
question makes them less terrified of,

578
00:32:24,135 --> 00:32:29,665
Yeah, I had the privilege of recently
interviewing Lauren Breen and Shelley

579
00:32:29,665 --> 00:32:32,285
Skinner from Lionheart Camp for Kids.

580
00:32:32,675 --> 00:32:37,495
And they have a research paper that
they released and it's available on

581
00:32:37,505 --> 00:32:39,335
their show notes of their episode.

582
00:32:39,675 --> 00:32:41,175
And it was fascinating.

583
00:32:41,215 --> 00:32:44,595
They had collected all of
the questions that children

584
00:32:44,635 --> 00:32:46,275
ask on the first day of camp.

585
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,000
Because there is a doctor and a
social worker that actually comes the

586
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,730
second day to answer those questions.

587
00:32:52,150 --> 00:32:59,940
And it is amazing how frank and, oh
man, they go there, they, there is,

588
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:03,920
there is no, no No filter whatsoever.

589
00:33:04,270 --> 00:33:08,910
So I, I think it's safe to say that
if you think that a child's not

590
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:13,170
seeing or not knowing what's going
on, you're mistaken because they

591
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:16,410
see, hear, think about everything.

592
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:16,800
So.

593
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:17,060
Yeah.

594
00:33:17,475 --> 00:33:22,735
Yeah, and that's why I liked when you
were referring earlier about when you're

595
00:33:22,735 --> 00:33:27,615
talking with families, you're asking
them whether there's children and whether

596
00:33:27,615 --> 00:33:29,435
they'd like to actually do drawings.

597
00:33:29,715 --> 00:33:33,295
What are some of the other
things that you do to, you know,

598
00:33:33,335 --> 00:33:35,505
include children in the process?

599
00:33:35,705 --> 00:33:40,215
Along the sort of craft line, our
cardboard coffins, which are The

600
00:33:40,215 --> 00:33:44,855
majority of the coffins that our people
use are basically a blank canvas.

601
00:33:44,865 --> 00:33:49,875
So one thing we do quite often is a
family will come and pick the coffin up

602
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:54,045
and take it home for a few days before
the funeral and have a bit of a, a

603
00:33:54,085 --> 00:33:58,695
family decorating session and getting
kids involved in that is really cool.

604
00:33:58,735 --> 00:34:02,035
I know I'm working with a woman
who is pre planning her funeral.

605
00:34:02,595 --> 00:34:07,895
And it's a long way in the future, but
what she wants to do is, is bring her

606
00:34:07,895 --> 00:34:12,405
coffin home while she's still alive,
decorate it with her grandkids together,

607
00:34:12,435 --> 00:34:14,665
like as a sort of group craft project.

608
00:34:14,695 --> 00:34:18,735
And she's going to use that process
as a way of trying to explain to

609
00:34:18,735 --> 00:34:21,925
her grandkids, you know, like, I'm
going to be in this box one day.

610
00:34:21,945 --> 00:34:23,705
And you know, how do you feel about that?

611
00:34:24,070 --> 00:34:28,230
You're part of creating this box with me
and it's going to come with me forever

612
00:34:28,230 --> 00:34:32,910
and use it as a bit of a way of opening
up those conversations with kids.

613
00:34:32,940 --> 00:34:35,810
And that's just Awesome.

614
00:34:36,180 --> 00:34:39,690
But yeah, the, the physical decorating
of the coffins are a really good one.

615
00:34:39,730 --> 00:34:44,970
We've also, you know, got a lot of sort
of sensory toys and coloring and books

616
00:34:44,970 --> 00:34:48,660
and things we set up if, if I know
there's going to be kids at the funeral.

617
00:34:49,060 --> 00:34:53,690
We also occasionally set up a sort
of quiet space for kids that might

618
00:34:53,690 --> 00:34:57,610
be neurodiverse or just really
struggling and need to get away.

619
00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:00,190
And that can be a really,
really great thing.

620
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,710
Funerals where a young person has died,
and there's a lot of young friends there.

621
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:10,900
We've created, you know, quiet spaces for
them to get away to, and that's always

622
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:12,960
really well received and well utilised.

623
00:35:13,450 --> 00:35:14,440
There's a few things.

624
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,730
A few things like that we do, kids coming
to a viewing or a vigil is a different

625
00:35:19,740 --> 00:35:24,870
thing again, is you know, how are we going
to include them in this ceremony that

626
00:35:24,870 --> 00:35:26,490
we're all having together as a family.

627
00:35:26,530 --> 00:35:29,990
We sort of set up our viewing space
with a coffin and a little cocoon, so

628
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:35,440
you can be there with an experience
that And also have the choice not to

629
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:41,070
do so, you know, we, we find most, most
people do and or they may get there

630
00:35:41,070 --> 00:35:42,650
and be really apprehensive about it.

631
00:35:42,650 --> 00:35:47,060
And then we'll just move closer and
closer and closer to where the coffin is.

632
00:35:47,060 --> 00:35:48,470
And eventually they go in there.

633
00:35:48,470 --> 00:35:51,560
And so knowing if there's going
to be kids at the funeral or the

634
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,960
feeling is, it's really important
for me to figure out, okay, what

635
00:35:56,770 --> 00:35:58,460
little things we can hit in place.

636
00:35:58,985 --> 00:36:00,945
It's lovely that you've
got that consideration.

637
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:05,975
Now, I'd like to talk about the other
considerations that the organisation

638
00:36:05,985 --> 00:36:11,265
has, and I know that you have funeral
support for people in need, you

639
00:36:11,285 --> 00:36:15,585
have considerations in relation to
people who have died in custody.

640
00:36:16,185 --> 00:36:19,365
Can you talk a little bit
about what that looks like and

641
00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:20,575
how you support those people?

642
00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:26,025
Yeah, so with all of our funerals,
all of our families donate

643
00:36:26,065 --> 00:36:29,445
100 to our philanthropic bank.

644
00:36:29,525 --> 00:36:33,765
And that money basically
accumulates and sits there to

645
00:36:33,765 --> 00:36:35,945
be used in a situation of need.

646
00:36:35,995 --> 00:36:38,599
So, you know, it can be anything.

647
00:36:38,950 --> 00:36:42,470
Any situation, and there's lots
of sad ones out there, but just

648
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,330
one of those happens to be, we use
that sometimes for testing custody.

649
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:52,110
So, if someone comes to us and they
have no next of kin and no family

650
00:36:52,110 --> 00:36:56,060
and no friends, we may use it in
that situation or, you know, a young

651
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,380
person in terrible circumstances.

652
00:36:58,845 --> 00:37:02,205
The circumstances are usually not
great for there to be a need and the

653
00:37:02,235 --> 00:37:06,365
decision making process around that is
really just, you know, the directors

654
00:37:06,365 --> 00:37:12,675
get together and weigh up the situation
and all of the parts of it and all the

655
00:37:12,675 --> 00:37:16,395
people involved and decide whether this
is going to be a good use for that money.

656
00:37:16,875 --> 00:37:19,505
And they deem that, you
know, a death in custody is a

657
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:20,775
really good use of that money.

658
00:37:21,275 --> 00:37:25,075
It's definitely a case by case, they're
not all the same, and they're all just

659
00:37:25,075 --> 00:37:29,585
weighed up on individual merit, but
yeah, it's, that's, yeah, coming back

660
00:37:29,585 --> 00:37:32,945
to that why is it important that we
are transparent about pricing and we

661
00:37:32,945 --> 00:37:37,355
offer affordable funerals, it's all
part of that, that everyone deserves a

662
00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:42,865
funeral and to die with dignity and to
be cared for in a loving, supportive

663
00:37:42,865 --> 00:37:44,965
way, regardless of their situation,

664
00:37:45,450 --> 00:37:51,570
And also there seems to be programming
that you have around sort of connecting

665
00:37:51,580 --> 00:37:54,270
with families even after the funeral.

666
00:37:54,490 --> 00:37:57,880
So I know that you hold an
annual tree planting event?

667
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,700
Yeah, yeah we do.

668
00:37:59,970 --> 00:38:00,900
It's awesome.

669
00:38:01,450 --> 00:38:03,430
It's, it's a really amazing day.

670
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,900
I've heard someone Describe
it as woodstock with death.

671
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:14,160
So it's on a farm in just outside
Malden in Goldfields region, Victoria.

672
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,280
And we have it once a
year in April every year.

673
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:21,890
And everyone who has had someone
that we have looked after gets

674
00:38:21,890 --> 00:38:23,330
a tree to plant for that person.

675
00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:27,940
So every year there'll be people coming
and planting trees for the first time that

676
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,580
has had someone pass the previous year.

677
00:38:30,035 --> 00:38:34,255
Or anyone in years before that who
wants to come and sit with their tree

678
00:38:34,255 --> 00:38:35,715
or have a picnic or anything like that.

679
00:38:35,715 --> 00:38:39,475
So we have, we actually
have a band, we have.

680
00:38:39,835 --> 00:38:43,765
the local Dja Dja Wurrung
people come and do a welcome to

681
00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:46,345
country and a smoking ceremony.

682
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,515
And yeah, it's just a
really beautiful day.

683
00:38:49,515 --> 00:38:54,385
It's a bit of a picnic sort of
music affair and yeah, it can,

684
00:38:54,445 --> 00:38:56,325
it's, it's absolutely beautiful.

685
00:38:57,340 --> 00:39:00,390
And is it on one particular
property or is, so is it a

686
00:39:00,390 --> 00:39:00,700
revegetation

687
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:01,980
project?

688
00:39:02,180 --> 00:39:07,780
So it's on Stass and I's parents farm
and they have sort of allocated a

689
00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:13,610
portion of it for this project, yeah,
as a contribution really to, and to host

690
00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:19,020
people and look after their trees and
give them that space to get away to.

691
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,170
That's incredibly
generous of your parents.

692
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,790
It is.

693
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:27,510
They also end up with lots of beautiful
trees and lots of beautiful stories.

694
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:28,410
My dad loves it.

695
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:31,090
Like, he's a really social person.

696
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:35,450
So anyone who's coming up to look at their
tree, because people pop in throughout

697
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:38,250
the year too, they might just want to come
up and sit with their tree or whatever.

698
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:43,890
And he loves that and has a chat with them
and yeah, I think it makes them really

699
00:39:43,890 --> 00:39:44,320
happy.

700
00:39:44,785 --> 00:39:45,535
That's amazing.

701
00:39:45,805 --> 00:39:47,365
And what do your parents do?

702
00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:52,145
Because, you know, the two of you have
obviously really opened your hearts and

703
00:39:52,145 --> 00:39:54,475
support other people within the community.

704
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:55,895
So, where did that start?

705
00:39:55,905 --> 00:39:57,655
Like, was, what did your parents do?

706
00:39:57,655 --> 00:39:58,675
Did they model this

707
00:39:58,685 --> 00:39:59,385
behaviour?

708
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:02,115
Yes, yeah, absolutely they did.

709
00:40:02,185 --> 00:40:04,675
Probably not like in
their careers as such.

710
00:40:04,705 --> 00:40:08,195
I mean, there's a lot of sort
of nurse aides in my family.

711
00:40:08,225 --> 00:40:11,025
So a lot of people have
had caring jobs for sure.

712
00:40:11,805 --> 00:40:13,015
Dad is in sales.

713
00:40:13,455 --> 00:40:15,775
So he's a people person, obviously.

714
00:40:15,855 --> 00:40:20,720
But I think, I don't know if
there was a sort of direct sort

715
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,880
of path, path into this work.

716
00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:27,790
They've certainly always modelled
treating other people well and being

717
00:40:27,790 --> 00:40:31,110
a good person to your family and your
community and all that sort of thing.

718
00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,729
So that's always been there.

719
00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:35,810
I, you know, I've never
really thought about it.

720
00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:36,520
It's just there.

721
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,640
Yeah, not, not everyone does have it
just there, so I know it's special

722
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,050
and I'm really grateful for that.

723
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:48,710
And the fact that they can also be part
of, you know, what has been created and

724
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:52,600
see that literally grow on their property
must be an amazing thing for them.

725
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:58,415
Definitely, and I think Dad's probably
starting his, his, his, They're getting

726
00:40:58,415 --> 00:41:01,795
repeat visits now, because it's been
sort of happening for long enough.

727
00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:05,955
And, you know, I think he gets a real kick
out of people coming back and, oh, look at

728
00:41:05,965 --> 00:41:10,215
how much your tree's grown and, you know,
hearing their story and like, everyone's

729
00:41:10,265 --> 00:41:16,215
got a great story to tell, you know, and
yeah, I definitely think he gets a kick

730
00:41:16,215 --> 00:41:17,929
out of being able to do that for people.

731
00:41:18,510 --> 00:41:19,660
I don't think you'd do it otherwise.

732
00:41:19,780 --> 00:41:22,690
It's certainly a lot of work
for him, you know, the watering.

733
00:41:22,690 --> 00:41:25,740
And, you know, there are a
certain number of trees that

734
00:41:25,740 --> 00:41:26,980
don't make it through the year.

735
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:31,790
So, you know, there's, there's
usually a bit of a, you know, okay.

736
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:33,780
Planting day is three months away.

737
00:41:33,790 --> 00:41:36,860
I'll just, let's just do a tally
up of those that haven't made it.

738
00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:40,280
And all right, down to the nursery,
we'll, we'll backfill these ones.

739
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,990
So it's a lot of work,
but it's definitely a

740
00:41:42,990 --> 00:41:43,690
labour of love.

741
00:41:44,190 --> 00:41:48,640
Let your dad know, I used to work
at a Royal Botanic Gardens, and even

742
00:41:48,650 --> 00:41:53,350
they have trouble getting all of the
plants to survive, so let him know, you

743
00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:55,140
know, don't be too harsh on himself.

744
00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:55,850
I'll

745
00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,060
definitely let him know that.

746
00:41:57,250 --> 00:42:02,070
It is also, you know, central Victoria,
and it's, water is, is not always

747
00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:04,530
around, so he's got a good system going.

748
00:42:05,475 --> 00:42:06,395
That's good to hear.

749
00:42:07,115 --> 00:42:11,185
And tell me, what does the future
hold for, you know, Mon and, you

750
00:42:11,185 --> 00:42:13,335
know, Last Hurrah and the team?

751
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:16,225
You've expanded, you know,
there's quite a few of you now.

752
00:42:16,225 --> 00:42:19,795
I think that it started off with
just, you know, Stass and Kimba.

753
00:42:20,045 --> 00:42:22,715
And now, how many is in the team now?

754
00:42:23,075 --> 00:42:23,785
Well,

755
00:42:24,155 --> 00:42:25,215
that's a good question.

756
00:42:25,225 --> 00:42:30,735
Maybe 10, not all full time, but you
know, some casual, some full time.

757
00:42:30,805 --> 00:42:33,165
But yeah, it's, it's definitely growing.

758
00:42:33,165 --> 00:42:36,785
And I think the goal is just to
be able to do this for as many

759
00:42:36,795 --> 00:42:38,205
families as we possibly can.

760
00:42:38,685 --> 00:42:44,155
I think there's probably, you know,
the idea of having more people sit

761
00:42:44,155 --> 00:42:47,435
down with families and do arrangements,
but I think that'll just sort

762
00:42:47,435 --> 00:42:49,065
of all happen quite organically.

763
00:42:49,970 --> 00:42:55,470
Personally, I just want to get better at
it and especially the ceremony creation

764
00:42:55,470 --> 00:43:00,820
part of it and making beautiful ceremonies
for, for people, the best job ever.

765
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,190
I just want to get better at it.

766
00:43:02,735 --> 00:43:07,285
Well, I think that I'm sure that
the families that you have been

767
00:43:07,365 --> 00:43:12,395
providing services to don't realize
that you're wanting to improve.

768
00:43:12,395 --> 00:43:15,875
I think that they would just be really
happy with what you're already providing.

769
00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:18,105
So don't be too hard on yourself.

770
00:43:18,355 --> 00:43:18,755
Yeah,

771
00:43:19,625 --> 00:43:21,339
I'm pretty sure they are.

772
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:26,260
And tell me, given your experience,
what advice or encouragement

773
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:30,990
would you give to families when
they do have a loved one die?

774
00:43:31,410 --> 00:43:33,520
What would be the advice
that you give to them?

775
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:38,950
I'd say that they don't need to make
any snap decisions in the moment.

776
00:43:39,290 --> 00:43:41,740
Don't even really need to
choose which Funeral Director

777
00:43:41,750 --> 00:43:43,410
you go with straight away.

778
00:43:43,950 --> 00:43:48,110
Probably just come back to that, just
take a breath and we can slow this

779
00:43:48,110 --> 00:43:50,360
down, probably first and foremost.

780
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,800
And another thing I would say
is that there's no rules or

781
00:43:54,810 --> 00:43:56,855
script That you need to follow.

782
00:43:57,495 --> 00:44:02,585
Often families sort of feel like
they come in with this list of things

783
00:44:02,585 --> 00:44:05,795
they think they need to do and that
they think they need to do quickly,

784
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:11,175
such as, I've got to drop 500 bucks
on flowers, or I've got to do this.

785
00:44:11,505 --> 00:44:12,825
I've got to have it in a chapel.

786
00:44:12,835 --> 00:44:13,895
I've got to do it this way.

787
00:44:14,575 --> 00:44:16,345
You know, all of those things.

788
00:44:16,775 --> 00:44:17,255
I think.

789
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,770
Just a reminder to people that
there's no set way of doing this.

790
00:44:21,820 --> 00:44:25,750
Most people, if you're lucky, haven't done
this before and aren't very experienced

791
00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:31,060
at it, so don't feel like you've got
to sit down and know the game, because

792
00:44:31,060 --> 00:44:32,270
that's what you're paying us for.

793
00:44:32,330 --> 00:44:36,375
A lot of people apologize to
me for Not knowing what to do.

794
00:44:37,065 --> 00:44:38,005
How would you know what to do?

795
00:44:38,015 --> 00:44:41,435
Like, hopefully you haven't
done many of these before.

796
00:44:42,025 --> 00:44:45,585
And most often it's the
first time and that's fine.

797
00:44:45,885 --> 00:44:47,205
You know, that's what we're here for.

798
00:44:47,205 --> 00:44:51,395
So yeah, I'd say don't feel bad
about not knowing what to do or

799
00:44:51,395 --> 00:44:52,795
not knowing the process, because

800
00:44:53,265 --> 00:44:53,705
how would

801
00:44:53,705 --> 00:44:53,915
you?

802
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,010
I think that's beautiful
advice to end on, Mon.

803
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,120
Thank you so much.

804
00:44:58,670 --> 00:44:59,260
You're welcome.

805
00:44:59,280 --> 00:44:59,530
Thanks

806
00:44:59,540 --> 00:44:59,670
for having

807
00:44:59,750 --> 00:45:00,050
me.

808
00:45:02,730 --> 00:45:06,160
We hope you enjoyed today's
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809
00:45:06,460 --> 00:45:08,040
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810
00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:13,240
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811
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