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About this episode
This episode focuses on the escalating issue of funeral poverty and debt.
I speak with Kieran Worthington and Kevin Hartley, who discuss their mission to provide dignified funerals for those who might not be able to afford one.
The conversation begins with a poignant question: where were Kieran and Kevin last year when our friend's children had to crowdfund their father's funeral?
As it turns out, they were always there, offering their services to those in need, only we weren't aware of them.
Regrettably, many are unaware of their services when they need them the most.
This episode aims to increase awareness about their services.
Kieran and Kevin highlight the challenges that small charities face in making a significant impact, especially in a large city like Melbourne. They have been working for 27 years, striving to reach as many people as possible to inform them about the support they can provide in times of need.
Throughout the conversation, we delve into the various facets of their work and the people they assist. Their mission isn't solely about helping those living on the streets or without any money. They also support those who are barely managing, individuals on the brink of their financial limits. A funeral expense can push them over, and that's when Kieran and Kevin step in.
We hope this episode provides you with a new perspective on funerals and the financial considerations that often accompany them. Remember, it's not morbid to think about death, but rather a part of life. Let's not be caught dead unprepared.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review 'Don't Be Caught Dead' on your favourite podcast platform. Stay tuned for more insightful episodes.
Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.
Take care,
Catherine
Show notes
Guest Bio
Founders of Sustainable Funerals Group
Kieran Worthington and Kevin Hartley talk about their collaboration - Sustainable Funerals Group Ltd & the Earth Funerals Project. The collaboration includes delivery of services to financially disadvantaged families through the Bereavement Assistance brand (www.bereavementassistance.org.au); Potters Field Funerals, which utilises a social enterprise model to support the charity (www.pottersfieldfunerals.com.au); and Earth Funerals Project (www.earthfunerals.org) bringing forward new models for provision of sustainable funerals, natural burials and restoration burial grounds. Kevin and Kieran also discuss the backgrounds and history of these models of funeral delivery and reflect on the changing nature of the industry.
Kieran Worthington and Kevin Hartley
Summary
In the podcast, we discuss:
How Kieran and Kevin's work contributes to the community.
The challenges they face in creating awareness about their services.
The types of people they've been helping and how their demographic is shifting.
The future of funerals and the changes they anticipate.
Transcript
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Kieran: We did a number of interviews,
radio and print back in those days.
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And this, this, this young woman just
wanted to know like, Oh, this is terrible.
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People with no money and living
on the streets and Ted said,
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well, that's not always the case.
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00:00:14,439 --> 00:00:15,800
He said, I'll give you an example.
6
... Read More
1
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,330
Kieran: We did a number of interviews,
radio and print back in those days.
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:10,000
And this, this, this young woman just
wanted to know like, Oh, this is terrible.
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00:00:10,109 --> 00:00:12,670
People with no money and living
on the streets and Ted said,
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well, that's not always the case.
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He said, I'll give you an example.
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You're new at your job.
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Yes.
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You're in your early twenties.
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Yes.
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Got much money in the bank.
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I'm guessing not.
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No.
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Got a hex deck from uni.
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Oh yeah.
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That'll take a long time to pay off.
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Right.
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You drive a car.
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Yes.
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I'm guessing you're paying that off.
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Oh yes.
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I got a loan from my parents
or something like that.
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And I'm paying that off.
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Great.
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And then he, then unfortunately
for her, he hit her with it.
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And he said, you die tomorrow.
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You will be with me.
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There is nothing for you to pay a
funeral unless someone else steps
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in, whether it be your parents
or an aunt or an uncle, and many.
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In many cases, the thing that
we're seeing these days is we have
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many generations of people with,
with not enough money or no money.
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Catherine: Welcome to don't be caught dead
a podcast, encouraging open conversations
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about dying and the death of a loved one.
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I'm your host, Catherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to
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bring your stories of death back to life.
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Because while you may not be ready
to die, at least you can be prepared.
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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin nations
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and recognizes their connection
to land, sea, and community.
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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging, and extend
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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First
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Nation peoples around the globe.
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Kieran Worthington is the Director
of Pottersfield's Funerals and
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Bereavement Assistance League.
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Kevin Hartley is the founder of Natural
Burial Ground Trust of Australia and a
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director of Sustainable Funerals Group.
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Kieran comes from a diverse background
of various business experience,
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from small family business through
to multi national companies.
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Kieran has acquired a large repertoire
of skills that he uses to benefit his
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business ventures and charitable pursuits.
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Strategising and guiding growth for
charitable funerals for 27 years has
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allowed Kieran to visualise a social
enterprise model that is designed
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to support charitable endeavours.
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Kevin Hartley has more than 25 years of
diverse experience in the funeral and
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cemetery industries, giving him a broad
and deep understanding of the sector.
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Kevin has founded and operated
funeral businesses, managed
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cemetery and crematoria, won
awards for innovative business.
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Bio coffin designs and is considered
an authority on natural burials.
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Our conversation today is centered around
the growing issue of funeral poverty
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and debt, particularly among vulnerable
populations, highlighting the need
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for alternative funeral services that
cater to financial and emotional needs.
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Thank you for joining
me, Kieran and Kevin.
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I really have to ask,
where were you a year ago?
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When we had our friend die, his son and
daughter had to crowdfund for his funeral.
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And I now realize, had we been
speaking with you or known about your
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services, we may not have actually
been in, had to do that situation.
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Can you tell me a little
bit about that, Kieran?
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Kieran: Yeah, to answer your question,
we're, unfortunately for you, we're
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right where we've always been,
except you just didn't know about us.
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And that's, that's really the problem
with smaller charitable organizations
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that are effectively trying to make
a dent in the problems of populations
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the size of Melbourne and others.
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We've been, we're in our 27th year,
we let everyone know that we can.
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Via a website, via contacts in
the industry, uh, by hospices,
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hospitals, community groups, we
let them know that we're here.
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People don't tend to think about
death very much, so then they forget
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that you're available when the time
comes, and it all feels rushed and
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pressured at the time, so people make
up make Make their own opportunity
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by using a commercial provider.
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And that's all fine and good if
that's something you can afford.
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However, a lot of people
can't afford that.
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And I'm sure we'll talk a little
bit more about that as we go on.
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However, we're down in Oakley.
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We've been here for over
15 years in this location.
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We've been around for 27 years
and other locations prior to that.
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We are available to
people and we can help.
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It
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Kevin: may be, Catherine, the
answer to the question is a
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bit more universal one as well.
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Which is that deaths, whether expected
or not, when they arrive, the panic
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button in your brain gets hit, and
there's all these decisions to be made.
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And if you haven't been literate around
death and the end of life services
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that are available, you wouldn't know.
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There's probably a stack of
commercial funeral directors
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whose name you don't know.
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So it's not surprising you wouldn't know
about the work of bereavement assistance.
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You know, one of the things I'm very
happy to be here today and thank you for
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having us is to support what you're doing,
which is through Critical Info, you're
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looking to get people to think ahead.
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And this is one of the most useful
things you can possibly do, I
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think, for anyone around this space.
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Uh, because even when someone
knows someone's going to die, you
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really don't want to address it.
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Or many people don't.
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You want that to maybe not be right, or
you're waiting for a miracle, or maybe
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there's going to be a change, or you
think I'll deal with that when the, you
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know, when the thing comes, I won't.
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I won't think it's going to happen
because that's somehow tempting fate.
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So people find themselves in the
exact situation you find yourself
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in all the time, that you didn't
know about bereavement assistance.
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So that's, there's many funeral
directors you wouldn't know about either.
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But I think the, The situation your
friends found themselves in is the reason
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the bereavement assistance was founded.
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And I think Kieran could probably
speak about what, what used to be
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called pauper funerals in Victoria.
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And, and the name isn't good
and nor was what was happening.
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And that was, that was something
that, uh, Kieran and his father,
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his father and Kieran in that
order, uh, set out to address.
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You want to talk about that a bit, Kieran?
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Kieran: Sure thing.
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So my father, Ted Worthington,
was funeral celebrant.
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As we used to say, well, he's a
celebrant, which means he could
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marry you or he could bury you.
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And he found himself coming across people
in desperate need of somebody to help with
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funerals, so he was doing them himself.
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And they couldn't really afford to pay
a commercial rate for a funeral, which
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anyone who, who has attempted to do so in
recent times has discovered is very, very
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expensive, you know, 6, 000, 8, 000, 20,
000, 50, 000 for very high end funerals.
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This is not uncommon.
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So he was taking care of that.
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out of his own pocket and his own time
and, and whatever he could negotiate from
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a funeral home, a second, um, you know,
a second's coffin or something like that.
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It's pretty raw stuff,
but it was necessary.
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A very close friend of his said
to him that, look, this really
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needs to be a charitable endeavor
and was willing to support it with
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a little bit of seeding money.
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And that person became one of the
founding members along with myself
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and my father, my mother, and
one other fellow who was a CPA.
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So Ted's idea of helping Victorians was
born and it was, you know, uh, coming
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on for 27 years ago that that happened.
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Burydman Assistance Limited was created.
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Ted, myself, and a fella by the name of
Bernard were, were the founding directors
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and Ted drove it with all his energy.
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And his ability with us in the
background assisting, uh, for many
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years until his health declined.
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And then I, I took it on as my own
to try and keep the legacy alive.
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And so far still going strong.
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Catherine: What do you think, Kieran,
was the, the actual motivator for
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Ted to, to set up that organization?
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Was it a particular
incident that happened or?
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Kieran: Ted, Ted had always instilled in
my brother and I a sense of community.
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You know, you're nothing
without your community.
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It's only so long.
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Man is not an island, as they say.
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It's only so long you can last if
you don't have assistance when you
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need it, and therefore it's important
that you are there for others.
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Uh, when they need you.
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So we understood that, uh, early days
growing up, we assisted him with several
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fundraising events for people who were
in need unrelated to this industry.
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Ted, Ted always had a sense of fair
play, very strong sense of fair play
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and liked to see that everyone got an
opportunity to do what they needed to do
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or to be looked after if they needed it.
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So that's what drove him as a
person and still to this day does.
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What he found that was really.
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Touching his heart and then the
heart of our patron, Mick Miller, ex
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Police Commissioner for Victoria, who
also assisted us and stayed a patron
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for 22 years until he passed away.
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What touched them was finding that
there were people that were slipping
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through even the cracks of the system
that were designed to help them.
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They'd find ex servicemen that were
effectively, effectively, effectively.
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Pauper funerals with nobody helping
when in fact there was a system in
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place to assist them financially if
necessary They just didn't know about it.
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No one that they knew could tell them
about it or or get them connected So
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I think that was one of the key things
for ted and mcmillan at the time to
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really get them Fired up into figuring
out how to provide a service that people
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could access One of the things that
we need to do better admittedly is Get
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the word out in a way that makes sense.
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Good news is social media
has the ability to do that.
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And that's something we're now
utilizing, but for many years, at
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least the first couple of decades, we'd
often hear of people saying, we didn't
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know you were here, we wish we did.
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You've just articulated that
same issue for yourself.
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It just seemed like no matter how many
people you tell, people tend to forget.
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And then when it comes time,
they don't know what to do.
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So they just refer it on coroner being
the first entity that touches somebody
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who is in need or the police anyhow.
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He, he was sufficiently motivated to
talk about it with a number of friends.
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And as you said, there was a
very good close friend who was a
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benefactor who provided a little
seed money to get this going.
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And so here we are now
doing that good work still.
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Catherine: I think Kevin, you actually
alluded to it when someone dies, you're
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not in the right frame of mind to be
researching what your options are.
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You generally go with what
the family already knows, uh,
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what's familiar with you to you.
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So.
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I think that that was something in
hindsight that we did is that we, we
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thought we'd just go with the, well, the
family thought that they would go with
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the organization that had done the older
brother's funeral, which I think is,
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is a very normal thing or a very usual
thing that sort of happens in families.
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Would that be correct in, in saying that?
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Kevin: Absolutely, Catherine.
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A death occurs, and everything
goes topsy turvy, you press the
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pause button on your life, and then
you're wondering, what do I do now?
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00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:08,180
And lack of information or being
unsure makes you scared, and
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what makes you feel better is
something that you're familiar with.
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So, yes, Fred Smith Funerals
did Grandad's funeral 20 years
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ago, uh, let's just go there.
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This is the quick fix to feeling
scared or feeling uncertain.
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And if you add on to the top of that,
the issue of, you know, that we're
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talking about today, which is folk who
are struggling financially, put that on
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the top of it, it almost doesn't matter
where they go, there's the additional
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layer of problem that comes in.
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And one of the, the founding blocks
of, uh, Curran's family and Ted's, uh,
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service of bereavement assistance was
what existed, has always existed in some
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form as a corporate funeral, which was
the provision of the absolute minimum
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amount of money possible from the
government to simply dispose of the body.
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And I use that terminology
rather than have a funeral, just
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bury the body or burn the body.
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That was the, that was basically what
was being provided to people before.
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Ted stepped in.
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What he said was, well, it doesn't,
you know, we're all members of society
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and it doesn't matter who it is.
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And if it happens at that point in your
life when you die, you happen to be
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financially broke, and that can happen
to people, there's people who are rich
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when they're 20 and broke when they're
30, to have to have that sort of funeral
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isn't a good reflection of our society.
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I think there was a sort of a
famous saying that, you know, if
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you want to see how a society,
Operates and have a look at how it
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treats its poor people and its dead.
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So that was a, you know, a pauper funeral
is about as undignified as you get.
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And what bereavement did through its
work, as Kieran's outlined, was to
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establish a charity, find some funding
sources so that people were given
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funerals that were very similar, if
not identical to a commercial funeral,
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but either at a greatly subsidized or
in some cases, fully subsidized cost.
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And that work's still going on today.
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There are, nothing's changed.
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And if anything, the environment, the
post COVID, the economic crisis that
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we're in now, skyrocketing interest
rates, that problem's only getting worse.
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Catherine: And can you tell me what,
what is on offer today, and how do people
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when they come to you, what happens?
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Talk me through that process.
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Kieran: Yes, no problem at all.
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I might just add to Kevin's comments
first if I can, our patron on Patreon.
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MacMillan, what a wonderful fellow he
was, you know, I mean, you know, he, he
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ran our police force for over 10 years.
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He was a detective before
that for a couple of decades.
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Very good man to go to, to talk to,
to understand the, the, the breadth
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of the problems that society has
naturally given the role he played
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and how they could be solved or at
least alleviated, sometimes mitigated.
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One of his favorite sayings for
what we were doing was that we
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bring dignity and death to those
that may not have known it in life.
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And I think that's, that's a great, you
know, way to sum up what Kevin was saying.
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It was a pretty ordinary situation that
Victorians had to deal with very hard on
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families that didn't really understand
death and what's involved in moving
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forward from the part where someone has
ended their life, naturally or otherwise.
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And quite a shock when they found
out how simple and basic and raw the
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system actually was that they're,
that a very modern and, and, and you
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would say wealthy society by many
international standards was still
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working at such a very low level.
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So.
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What can we do?
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That's important.
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We can take care of people no
matter how much money they have.
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If they have enough money for a
very basic, fully paid funeral,
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we can get that done for them.
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If they are short on that, we can
assist with some government funding
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that will bring them to a level that
is a simple service, a cremation.
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a burial if there is a
space already set aside.
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Burial plots are very expensive but some
families actually have them bequeathed
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to them or left over from earlier
purchases and we can assist there.
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People who come to us typically
are finding that affordability
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of funeral is the problem.
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Most funeral homes will start
at around six to eight thousand
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dollars for a basic funeral service.
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That have been all inclusive,
but it's very, very basic.
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And then they head up North
from there very quickly, as
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soon as you want anything.
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So, uh, in terms of what we offer,
we, we offer a range of opportunities
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for people, depending on what
their financial circumstances are.
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If somebody has a little money,
but not quite enough for a
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commercial funeral, we can do
something to help them out for sure.
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If there's less money than that, the
government provides some funding that
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we're allowed to utilize to help them.
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And in the case of some.
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I'm very unfortunate and destitute people.
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If they have literally not a cent
to their name, we can take care
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of a very basic cremation for them
along with some dignified words and,
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and provide the ashes back to them.
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Uh, this is done with the help of
the state government in the form
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of the coroner and some funding.
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to make that work.
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The important thing here is that
people feel like there was at
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least some dignified finish to
that person's life, even if they
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hadn't led a very happy or good one.
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We don't discriminate.
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We take all comers, so to speak.
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Catherine: So the people that, that
come to mind that I'm thinking of, and
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I've, I've read a bit of, uh, services
that are similar to this in the UK and
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America, they're obviously a little bit
different, but where they, they offer,
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uh, cremation services for people that
have been, uh, Unclaimed, I believe,
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in the UK, or similar in the States.
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So I'm thinking that the sort of people
that you may see are perhaps homeless
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people, people who have lived by
themselves, may not have any family.
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But at the same time, having said that,
you know, I think about our circumstance
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last year, and it was a matter of whether
how much money is in the bank account.
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Doesn't matter how much.
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you know, is, you know, is in assets.
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It was actually about that, that liquid
form to actually pay for the funeral bill.
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That was what was the deciding factor.
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Is, is that true to see?
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Kieran: Yeah, this is very much true.
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I think people imagine that charity
is homeless people needing blankets
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and food and that sort of thing.
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And of course that's very much part of it,
but so many more people are affected these
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days and in need of charitable support.
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People with jobs Transcribed People who
are just literally struggling just to keep
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food on the table for their children or
pay the mortgage, the rent in many cases.
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A great example would be in the
early days, Ted was interviewed
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by a young woman who was, she
was, she was a new journalist.
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She'd just gotten out of uni
and it's one of her first jobs.
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And, and we did a number of
interviews, radio and, and print
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back in those days, this was
before the advent of social media.
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And this, this, This young
woman just wanted to know,
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like, oh, this is terrible.
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People with no money and
living on the streets.
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And Ted said, well, that's
not always the case.
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He said, I'll give you an example.
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You're new at your job.
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Yes.
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You're in your early twenties.
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Yes.
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Got much money in the bank.
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I'm guessing not.
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No.
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Got a hex deck from uni.
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Oh yeah.
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That'll take a long time to pay off.
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Right.
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You drive a car.
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00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:23,794
Yes.
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00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:25,495
I'm guessing you're paying that off.
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Oh, yes.
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00:18:25,965 --> 00:18:27,965
I got a loan from my parents
or something like that.
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And I'm paying that off.
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Great.
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And then he, then unfortunately for
her, he hit her with it and he said,
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you die tomorrow, you will be with me.
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There is nothing for you to pay a
funeral unless someone else steps
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in, whether it be your parents or
an aunt or an uncle or, and many.
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In many cases, the thing that
we're seeing these days is we have
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many generations of people with,
with not enough money or no money.
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In some cases, these people often
are in the welfare system and have
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been generation, you know, mothers,
grandmothers, grandfathers, and therefore
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the grandchildren struggle to hold
jobs, struggle to fit into the society
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that they find themselves born into.
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And therefore.
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have no knowledge of how to
manage money, let alone get it.
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00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:15,565
You know, as we all know, you need
a job, you need to get paid, and you
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00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:18,445
need to pay bills, and you hope you
make more than the bills you pay.
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That's not the case for a lot of people.
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Those are the folks that we're helping.
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00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,825
Catherine: And a lot of the time, I'm
sure, sorry Kevin, but a lot of the
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time I'm sure that you actually see
that that perhaps is also a result
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of intergenerational trauma as well.
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00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:35,174
Kieran: Yeah, Kevin can probably
talk a little bit to that.
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He's very familiar with this,
this problem with society, yeah.
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00:19:38,565 --> 00:19:39,725
Kevin: Absolutely, Catherine.
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00:19:39,784 --> 00:19:43,935
You know, there are, there are families
who've been in receipt, you know, living
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on social security for three generations.
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00:19:46,745 --> 00:19:48,875
And it's, it's not an indictment of them.
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It's there, it simply is in any society.
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There is certain people who don't
fit into the middle of the machine.
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00:19:54,914 --> 00:19:59,725
And we, we in our society, if you want
to be in the middle class or in the,
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00:19:59,735 --> 00:20:03,055
you know, just in the way things work,
you've got a job, you've got a mortgage,
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you've got all these bits and pieces.
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00:20:04,345 --> 00:20:05,515
Some people just can't do that.
375
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:09,415
I just don't understand it, can't
do it emotionally, psychologically,
376
00:20:09,435 --> 00:20:10,675
practically, or physically.
377
00:20:11,685 --> 00:20:12,485
I think this is interesting.
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00:20:12,485 --> 00:20:16,944
I'm listening to you and Kieran talk
backwards and forwards, and it might
379
00:20:16,944 --> 00:20:20,354
sound, or someone listening to this
podcast might think that, oh, okay,
380
00:20:20,355 --> 00:20:24,114
so there's this service out at Oakley
that's for people who are absolutely
381
00:20:24,114 --> 00:20:25,415
living on the street and destitute.
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00:20:26,205 --> 00:20:27,304
But that's changed.
383
00:20:27,304 --> 00:20:31,465
I think certainly that was part of it
in the early stages, as I understand
384
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:32,824
from talking with Ted and Kieran.
385
00:20:33,495 --> 00:20:37,594
But today, there are people who've got
good paying jobs and three children
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00:20:37,594 --> 00:20:39,524
and two kids in school and mortgages.
387
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:43,834
And if they got hit with a funeral debt,
they would be that an example of that.
388
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:47,149
The person that Karen was just talking
about, the young woman interviewing,
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00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:50,419
an unexpected debt when you're
teetering on the edge of what you
390
00:20:50,419 --> 00:20:52,379
can pay for pushes you over the edge.
391
00:20:52,389 --> 00:20:56,280
And that's, that's what we're now
seeing more and more is a change
392
00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,489
in the interest and the people
who are inquiring into funerals.
393
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:04,090
And they're going, oh, okay,
I'm in a place where, yes,
394
00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,540
I can pay my bills tomorrow.
395
00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,570
So they might fall through the cracks.
396
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,890
And I mean, that's something
that we're currently looking at.
397
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,209
We're looking at, you know,
Kieran's talked about the last
398
00:21:13,209 --> 00:21:16,009
27 years of helping Victorians.
399
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:19,640
We're focused now on the next
27 and what those problems are,
400
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,059
because the problems change.
401
00:21:21,059 --> 00:21:22,089
Times change.
402
00:21:22,539 --> 00:21:27,929
There's a need there, I think, for a
different form of funeral entirely, um,
403
00:21:27,939 --> 00:21:32,665
than, than perhaps what the commercial
funeral directors are offering people so
404
00:21:32,665 --> 00:21:39,085
that there's a midpoint where people who
are struggling financially but wouldn't
405
00:21:39,135 --> 00:21:42,344
meet the criteria for a government
assisted funeral or a bereavement
406
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:46,615
assistance funeral that they might have
some other option and that's that's
407
00:21:46,635 --> 00:21:49,434
where we're focused at present is we're
trying to work out where that goes.
408
00:21:51,014 --> 00:21:54,245
Catherine: You're so right there,
Kevin, because I know from my car
409
00:21:54,245 --> 00:21:58,615
accident, our, you know, our world
changed pretty much instantaneously.
410
00:21:58,915 --> 00:22:03,964
I was fortunate that I was in a government
job at that stage, and I had a long
411
00:22:03,964 --> 00:22:09,625
service leave, but it only takes one
incident like that, and it can, can
412
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:11,235
change the whole rest of your life.
413
00:22:11,815 --> 00:22:15,915
So I'm not surprised that you're seeing
a shift with what you're going to
414
00:22:15,925 --> 00:22:20,104
have to, to deal with in relation to
your clients for the next 27 years.
415
00:22:20,855 --> 00:22:22,215
And can you tell me a
little bit about that?
416
00:22:22,985 --> 00:22:26,614
Kevin: Well, Catherine, I think that's a
great segue to talk about, uh, a term that
417
00:22:26,655 --> 00:22:29,195
was born in the UK called funeral poverty.
418
00:22:29,929 --> 00:22:33,939
And if you take that situation we just
described and then you put a family in a
419
00:22:33,939 --> 00:22:38,300
situation, the breadwinner dies, quickly
gets sick, heart attack, whatever,
420
00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:42,760
there's the family, suddenly the income
is about to dry up, there's probably,
421
00:22:42,810 --> 00:22:47,499
you know, some long service leave or some
holiday leave or some bonus payments or
422
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:51,110
a bit of life insurance or something,
and that family then are faced, if
423
00:22:51,110 --> 00:22:54,610
they fall into the trap of not having
thought about what the funeral is and
424
00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:58,259
really assessing and going, you know
what, if we spent a lot of money on this
425
00:22:58,260 --> 00:22:59,510
funeral, we're going to be in our worst.
426
00:22:59,725 --> 00:23:04,665
And heaven forbid they spend
all the money they've got or
427
00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:06,795
worse, going to debt to do this.
428
00:23:06,795 --> 00:23:10,585
And fortunately, and I'm not going
to say, you know, I'm not going
429
00:23:10,585 --> 00:23:13,105
to tar all commercial funeral
directors with the same brush.
430
00:23:13,105 --> 00:23:16,945
But it has been not uncommon
for funeral directors to help
431
00:23:16,954 --> 00:23:18,634
arrange finance for funerals.
432
00:23:18,675 --> 00:23:22,575
And what you're doing is putting people in
a position where they're going into debt.
433
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:29,420
services at a time when they're
potentially not in the best frame of
434
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:33,500
mind to assess whether those services are
really what they want, whether they're
435
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:38,020
essential, whether they're extravagant,
and they just are led to some degree.
436
00:23:38,639 --> 00:23:41,829
And then you've got the grief of
the funeral, the loss of your life,
437
00:23:41,850 --> 00:23:44,579
the changes to your existence,
and you've got a debt and that's.
438
00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:49,300
been a topic that we've been at our board
levels and discussions working through
439
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:53,010
diligently in the last months going you
know what there's people who are about
440
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:57,060
to fall into that trap who today look
like they're holding it all together
441
00:23:57,060 --> 00:24:01,640
and tomorrow as you say Catherine you've
explained your history with having a
442
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:03,779
serious accident that changed your life.
443
00:24:04,669 --> 00:24:07,920
There's people out there today who have
events like that tomorrow where there's
444
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:12,490
a death and they potentially end up in
debt which is then grief is a complicated
445
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,140
thing and complicated grief exists.
446
00:24:16,179 --> 00:24:19,939
That's it's two things and you put in
debt and then you put in extra debt and
447
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,780
then every time you look at that debt
you're not thinking about the passing
448
00:24:23,780 --> 00:24:26,759
of the person you're thinking about the
debt that went along with their death
449
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:31,069
so then you've got a double whammy of
psychological trauma that's coming along
450
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:35,969
there so it's it's a real trap and we
I think something that the original
451
00:24:35,969 --> 00:24:37,499
bereavement assistance offering program.
452
00:24:38,145 --> 00:24:43,865
uh, has done as to some great degree over
the last years is, has given an option for
453
00:24:43,875 --> 00:24:47,434
at least for the people who knew about the
service not to end up in that situation.
454
00:24:47,985 --> 00:24:50,095
And I, but I think we
need to do more actually.
455
00:24:50,954 --> 00:24:54,294
Catherine: What sort of discussions
are you having at that board level when
456
00:24:54,295 --> 00:24:59,254
you're looking at what you offer and,
and considering your thoughts on funeral
457
00:24:59,254 --> 00:25:05,055
poverty, where, what services do you
see changing over the next few years?
458
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:07,030
Kevin: Great question.
459
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:12,710
We're probably a little premature, but to,
to go to detail, Catherine, maybe, maybe
460
00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:16,509
we, we leave you with the thought that
we, we feel like there's an opportunity
461
00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:21,849
or the potential to, to address the
whole sector of the, of the community in
462
00:25:21,849 --> 00:25:23,959
Victoria, who wouldn't normally consider.
463
00:25:25,950 --> 00:25:30,100
Seeking services with a group
like Bereavement Assistance or
464
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,450
the Sustainable Funeral Group.
465
00:25:32,590 --> 00:25:38,610
But by producing funerals of a different
nature, a funeral where families are much
466
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:42,500
more involved, funerals where families
are coordinating some activities or
467
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,569
crafting their own funeral perhaps.
468
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:50,535
and us providing them with, uh,
the pieces of professional or,
469
00:25:51,085 --> 00:25:54,884
uh, specific information and
experience and equipment that they
470
00:25:54,884 --> 00:25:56,874
wouldn't generally have access to.
471
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:59,245
Is that a fair description,
472
00:25:59,264 --> 00:25:59,534
Kieran: Kieran?
473
00:25:59,615 --> 00:26:02,085
I'm not sure how far you're describing.
474
00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:04,595
No, I think that's fair
and right to talk about.
475
00:26:04,634 --> 00:26:08,305
I mean, the reality we have is, is
that, you know, once upon a time
476
00:26:08,305 --> 00:26:10,060
there was There was a middle class.
477
00:26:10,890 --> 00:26:13,330
I'm, I ain't saying much
of a middle class anymore.
478
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:16,330
I would have considered myself one
of them once, but there were times
479
00:26:16,330 --> 00:26:20,879
when I've had to find ways to create
money to pay some additional bills.
480
00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:21,740
I didn't see it coming.
481
00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:22,740
It's the truth of it.
482
00:26:22,850 --> 00:26:24,540
You know, there's no shame in it.
483
00:26:24,669 --> 00:26:28,179
The reality is we plan the best weekend
and we don't, we sometimes fall short.
484
00:26:28,599 --> 00:26:31,519
What that's opened up is an area
where people who are going to be
485
00:26:31,519 --> 00:26:35,510
hit with a very quick, large bill,
they're going to need another option.
486
00:26:36,075 --> 00:26:37,905
I'll give you, this is an example.
487
00:26:37,905 --> 00:26:43,225
I know a fellow that, whatever reason,
was, found himself homeless all of
488
00:26:43,225 --> 00:26:47,024
a sudden with four children and a
car that had a dodgy transmission.
489
00:26:48,034 --> 00:26:48,735
He needed help.
490
00:26:49,730 --> 00:26:55,050
You know, he, he, I could see this
thing spiraling terribly for him as
491
00:26:55,050 --> 00:26:56,719
soon as that car wouldn't drive anymore.
492
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,250
He had children to get to school.
493
00:26:58,340 --> 00:27:00,739
He had doctor's appointments
for one of them was sick.
494
00:27:01,159 --> 00:27:04,079
You know, he had to find a way to
get work and get himself there.
495
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:06,139
This is dire stuff.
496
00:27:06,259 --> 00:27:06,599
Okay.
497
00:27:06,939 --> 00:27:11,319
But once upon a time, a man that owned
a car and had children and an income and
498
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,620
was moving along in life was considered.
499
00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:16,395
middle class or lower
middle class at worst.
500
00:27:16,795 --> 00:27:19,425
This fellow is on the, on
the edge of destitution.
501
00:27:19,735 --> 00:27:22,435
If someone had died, he
couldn't afford a funeral.
502
00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:25,544
So what, what he might've been
able to do though is do something
503
00:27:25,545 --> 00:27:27,045
to help himself with a funeral.
504
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:30,724
And therefore, if we provided that
assistance, he could have gotten away
505
00:27:30,724 --> 00:27:34,465
with it for a much cheaper price that
he could manage, that he could do.
506
00:27:35,025 --> 00:27:37,975
If he could afford a 2, 000 transmission,
he might've been able to afford
507
00:27:37,975 --> 00:27:42,064
a funeral with someone like us if
we had the, the system in place.
508
00:27:42,075 --> 00:27:44,314
So we're talking about how
we might be able to help.
509
00:27:44,845 --> 00:27:48,074
people who have found themselves
just without the extra money
510
00:27:48,074 --> 00:27:51,935
required for, for a lump sum
commitment at a short space of time.
511
00:27:52,425 --> 00:27:55,025
And, and, and we're, we're
going to pull this off.
512
00:27:55,025 --> 00:27:57,054
We'll be able to do this
because we've been around long
513
00:27:57,054 --> 00:27:58,265
enough to know what to do.
514
00:27:58,615 --> 00:28:01,114
We just have to get the right
funding in place to make sure
515
00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:04,275
we've got equipment ready and
people ready to help those folks.
516
00:28:04,625 --> 00:28:05,905
This is only going to get worse.
517
00:28:05,905 --> 00:28:09,930
So I know this for a fact, I talk
with people Regularly about non
518
00:28:09,930 --> 00:28:13,480
funeral related things because I have
a very great interest like everyone
519
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,970
in trying to pay a mortgage or
mortgages if you've ever invested in
520
00:28:16,970 --> 00:28:19,379
property and everybody is struggling.
521
00:28:19,389 --> 00:28:22,789
They don't know they're having to
sell, they don't know what to do and
522
00:28:22,789 --> 00:28:26,159
therefore that tells me that that bit
of cash they had set aside, there's
523
00:28:26,159 --> 00:28:29,790
now been sucked up by the interest rate
rises and therefore they can't afford.
524
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,710
5, 6, 10 grand all of a sudden, they're
keeping their cars longer, those
525
00:28:34,730 --> 00:28:37,720
cars are getting worn out and old
because they can't afford to replace
526
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,350
the cars, those sorts of things.
527
00:28:39,639 --> 00:28:42,799
This is the reality of what we're
living in, this is the majority of our
528
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:47,989
population, this is no longer the small
niche piece, you know, typically you
529
00:28:47,989 --> 00:28:51,339
would find in the lower socioeconomic
group that we would help, we are now
530
00:28:51,369 --> 00:28:54,710
helping people all the way up through
to what used to be called middle class,
531
00:28:55,180 --> 00:28:56,400
they're just running out of money.
532
00:28:57,065 --> 00:29:00,325
We are trying to stop the
cycle of debt the best we can
533
00:29:00,445 --> 00:29:01,805
and we'll continue to do so.
534
00:29:01,805 --> 00:29:04,355
So we will innovate products so
that we can help people do that.
535
00:29:05,430 --> 00:29:08,750
Catherine: And I know that we
personally knew three people who
536
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:13,729
died last year because of that they
had to crowdfund for their funeral.
537
00:29:14,190 --> 00:29:17,240
And that's just us knowing three people.
538
00:29:17,580 --> 00:29:23,520
So I'd hate to think with you being
in the industry, how many people and
539
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:27,790
how many stories that you've heard,
especially over the last 12 months, as
540
00:29:27,790 --> 00:29:29,320
you mentioned with the interest rates.
541
00:29:29,770 --> 00:29:37,100
Something that I have heard conversations
about also is people wanting to reclaim,
542
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,929
you know, I had an interview with Rebecca
Lyons from the Australian Home Funeral
543
00:29:41,930 --> 00:29:47,279
Alliance, and she is instrumental in
that, that alliance is instrumental in.
544
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:52,850
Helping people reclaim funerals within
the home and, you know, taking on
545
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:55,000
ownership of certain parts of the funeral.
546
00:29:55,280 --> 00:30:00,020
Is that something that you would
have seen in your experience?
547
00:30:00,290 --> 00:30:04,500
People wanting to be more involved
and more family centered services?
548
00:30:05,465 --> 00:30:10,385
Kevin: I think there's a sector of people
in the community who want to do that.
549
00:30:11,035 --> 00:30:14,265
Uh, I don't think it's a thing
that everyone wants to do, even
550
00:30:14,265 --> 00:30:15,615
if they were fully informed.
551
00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:19,005
There's great individual
variance is an absolute.
552
00:30:19,085 --> 00:30:21,735
Everyone's different, what we
can handle, what we want, what
553
00:30:21,735 --> 00:30:23,484
we feel is meaningful to do.
554
00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:27,795
You know, someone, someone arranging,
writing a eulogy, that, that might be
555
00:30:27,795 --> 00:30:31,745
as a brilliantly powerful contribution
to a funeral, but as far as they go, and
556
00:30:31,745 --> 00:30:35,205
if you said to them, why don't you come
down to the mortuary and help us put
557
00:30:35,265 --> 00:30:40,634
granddad in the coffin, that might be
just so far out of their, you know, field
558
00:30:40,635 --> 00:30:43,480
of comfort that it would be Outrageous.
559
00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:46,910
Um, I know Bec Lyons.
560
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,430
I'm very familiar with her work.
561
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:51,329
She's a very smart and passionate person.
562
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,370
The idea of family being involved
in funerals is something that's
563
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,220
always in any funeral business.
564
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:59,320
I've been associated
with over 30 odd years.
565
00:30:59,389 --> 00:31:01,359
We're open to that.
566
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:05,940
And I think this is part of the,
this might be part of the solution
567
00:31:05,970 --> 00:31:10,655
for people who find themselves, you
know, Not destitute in the old terms
568
00:31:10,655 --> 00:31:14,935
where they, they absolutely need
the, the original sort of services
569
00:31:14,935 --> 00:31:16,325
that we've been offering at Oakley.
570
00:31:16,725 --> 00:31:20,295
The people who find themselves in that
halfway mark, where they need to find
571
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:23,745
a cost effective way to have a funeral
that's meaningful for their family.
572
00:31:24,295 --> 00:31:29,154
And yeah, you know, we talk about funerals
being expensive, and in some ways they
573
00:31:29,154 --> 00:31:30,854
are, and in some ways they aren't.
574
00:31:31,374 --> 00:31:35,314
I had a relative who just had one of
their, well, my sister actually, one
575
00:31:35,315 --> 00:31:39,005
of her children married, and I know
what the bill for the wedding was.
576
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,050
And compared to most
funerals, it's staggier.
577
00:31:42,660 --> 00:31:47,550
So, life events are expensive, they
just are, you know, things cost money.
578
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,967
If people can afford funerals and
want particular trappings and, or
579
00:31:52,967 --> 00:31:56,450
events or locations or the things
that, that's absolutely just
580
00:31:56,450 --> 00:31:58,350
if that's meaningful for them.
581
00:31:58,830 --> 00:32:02,759
There's very few people who don't
want anything, who genuinely just go,
582
00:32:02,759 --> 00:32:07,759
oh, you know, we just need to dispose
of the body and have no service.
583
00:32:08,069 --> 00:32:10,319
Because this is a social thing,
Catherine, so it's a, it's
584
00:32:10,799 --> 00:32:12,650
built into our DNA, you know.
585
00:32:13,555 --> 00:32:16,255
I'm sure if you went back, there's
no evidence of this, but I'm
586
00:32:16,255 --> 00:32:17,445
going to pause it for a moment.
587
00:32:17,455 --> 00:32:21,195
And I'm sure if you went back to the
cavemen, and there's a family of 10
588
00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:25,635
living in a cave, and one morning
they get up and Urt doesn't move, and
589
00:32:25,635 --> 00:32:29,774
someone goes over and prods Urt, they
might not even understand that Urt
590
00:32:29,854 --> 00:32:34,420
died, but I bet you We'd do a dollar,
but they all sat down around it and
591
00:32:34,430 --> 00:32:38,320
went, and they stopped everything
else they were doing for a while.
592
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:42,619
And they thought about it, and they
realized that something had changed.
593
00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:44,340
And that's, that's the
origin of a funeral.
594
00:32:45,319 --> 00:32:46,350
That's what we're doing today.
595
00:32:46,410 --> 00:32:47,370
We're stopping and realizing.
596
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:48,779
So this is built into us.
597
00:32:48,779 --> 00:32:50,839
We want and need to have these things.
598
00:32:51,475 --> 00:32:56,975
If the funeral, the commercial funeral
market is such that it makes people want
599
00:32:57,145 --> 00:33:00,975
to buy things, and this is the commercial
world we live in, and we're bombarded with
600
00:33:00,975 --> 00:33:04,835
stuff all the time, buy this, you need
this, people identifying problems we don't
601
00:33:04,845 --> 00:33:06,815
have and creating products to fill them.
602
00:33:07,805 --> 00:33:10,524
People think about a funeral,
they go, ah, a funeral is this,
603
00:33:10,524 --> 00:33:11,895
I've got to have one of those.
604
00:33:11,895 --> 00:33:14,855
And it's up to us, I think, and
particularly in this charitable sex
605
00:33:14,865 --> 00:33:20,055
space, to take ideas and nuances and
the feelings of things like Beck's
606
00:33:20,055 --> 00:33:23,490
doing with family led funerals And
say, well, that's, that's great.
607
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:28,180
How can we bring that so that everyone can
have access to that or more specifically,
608
00:33:28,190 --> 00:33:31,989
everyone who wants that, because there'll
always be people who'll go, you know
609
00:33:31,990 --> 00:33:36,310
what, we really did love the funeral
that Smith and Jones funerals did for us.
610
00:33:36,310 --> 00:33:39,399
We want that for granddad as
well as grandma, and we've
611
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,659
got the money to pay for it.
612
00:33:40,659 --> 00:33:42,210
And that's how we want to handle it.
613
00:33:42,290 --> 00:33:46,200
And no, we don't want to go and
dress the dress, the deceased or, but
614
00:33:46,210 --> 00:33:47,550
yes, we do want to write the eulogy.
615
00:33:47,550 --> 00:33:49,939
And yes, I do want to make
the flowers from my garden.
616
00:33:49,940 --> 00:33:50,050
Okay.
617
00:33:50,565 --> 00:33:55,265
And I think everyone's different and
what's, what's the last probably 30
618
00:33:55,265 --> 00:33:58,695
years of funerals has been is that
people use the cookie cutter expression.
619
00:33:59,285 --> 00:34:01,085
Funerals come out of a bit of a mold.
620
00:34:02,205 --> 00:34:05,725
Most people wouldn't experience this, but
as funeral directors, I remember going to
621
00:34:05,725 --> 00:34:11,135
a crematorium one day and being there with
the one company years ago, five funerals,
622
00:34:11,135 --> 00:34:12,765
one hour, basically an hour apart.
623
00:34:13,075 --> 00:34:15,485
And I couldn't help thinking,
gee, these are all exactly
624
00:34:15,485 --> 00:34:17,915
the same, just moving people.
625
00:34:18,595 --> 00:34:20,735
If that's the sort of funeral
a family want, if that's
626
00:34:20,735 --> 00:34:21,925
meaningful for them, that's fine.
627
00:34:21,925 --> 00:34:25,375
But I think the world is changing
and I think people are much
628
00:34:25,395 --> 00:34:29,045
more adept at working out what
they can and can't contribute.
629
00:34:29,215 --> 00:34:32,525
And I use that word crafting,
you know, we love craft beer.
630
00:34:33,065 --> 00:34:37,375
I think, I think people can
get involved in craft services.
631
00:34:37,875 --> 00:34:42,335
And the social aspect of funerals that
they want, and this might be the place
632
00:34:42,335 --> 00:34:48,095
where an organization like ours that
has a charitable base, and we're not
633
00:34:48,165 --> 00:34:52,215
government funded, but we have some
government support where we can take a,
634
00:34:52,775 --> 00:34:57,515
uh, use our facilities and avail those
to a wider sectors of the community so
635
00:34:57,515 --> 00:35:01,195
that We can help people with things that
are very difficult for someone to do.
636
00:35:01,895 --> 00:35:05,505
You know, it's, it's very difficult for
people to move a deceased person unless
637
00:35:05,505 --> 00:35:06,914
you've got some equipment in the vehicle.
638
00:35:07,885 --> 00:35:08,974
You're, you're, you're right.
639
00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,665
You asked a question earlier,
Catherine, you know, and do
640
00:35:11,665 --> 00:35:13,044
people want to be more involved?
641
00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:17,075
I dealt with a lovely lady who'd had a
horrible year with her husband dying and
642
00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:19,494
she wanted to be involved in everything.
643
00:35:19,494 --> 00:35:22,315
And I spent a couple of hours with
her and we eventually got to an
644
00:35:22,315 --> 00:35:26,935
understanding that, It just wasn't
possible, you know, if you wanted to move
645
00:35:26,965 --> 00:35:28,555
her husband from this place of death.
646
00:35:28,585 --> 00:35:29,185
Well, where is he?
647
00:35:29,185 --> 00:35:30,165
He's on the fourth floor.
648
00:35:30,175 --> 00:35:31,085
How are you going to do that?
649
00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:32,395
Well, I've got a little sedan.
650
00:35:33,984 --> 00:35:36,505
Who's going to help you do that
if you want to do it yourself?
651
00:35:36,505 --> 00:35:40,035
And it, it wasn't that, she was a very
smart woman, but she was in grief.
652
00:35:40,785 --> 00:35:42,404
So she wanted that involvement.
653
00:35:42,404 --> 00:35:43,985
She wanted to do those things.
654
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,220
Even in grief with a, with a
sensible conversation, she came to
655
00:35:48,220 --> 00:35:51,900
understand that there were aspects
that just weren't logistically easy.
656
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,650
You know, if you can't have the
funeral the next day, you're going
657
00:35:54,650 --> 00:35:57,539
to need somewhere for that deceased
person to be in a professional
658
00:35:57,629 --> 00:35:59,479
refrigerated mortuary facility.
659
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,369
That's not something you have in
your backyard, but these are all
660
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:06,379
the things that we have, and we've
been using for years to help people.
661
00:36:06,389 --> 00:36:10,675
So we take those facilities, and then
open that wider so that we can bring
662
00:36:10,675 --> 00:36:14,575
people and let them craft the kind of
funerals are and then provide them with
663
00:36:14,575 --> 00:36:19,125
the essential elements that they can't
easily do or provide for themselves.
664
00:36:19,734 --> 00:36:25,225
Because it's, it's one thing to
belittling a little sort of a
665
00:36:25,234 --> 00:36:30,315
romantic idea of a very simple
claim the funeral back for yourself.
666
00:36:30,315 --> 00:36:33,805
But in the practical modern age we
live in, that's Damn near impossible.
667
00:36:34,515 --> 00:36:37,035
Most people are going to need
a little bit of help somewhere.
668
00:36:37,915 --> 00:36:40,275
How much help they need
will depend on the family.
669
00:36:40,915 --> 00:36:46,974
And I think if we're able to, as
a charitable group, find a way to
670
00:36:47,715 --> 00:36:51,754
bridge that gap between people who
are able to pay for a funeral and
671
00:36:51,754 --> 00:36:53,314
therefore choose what they want.
672
00:36:53,885 --> 00:36:57,975
Absolutely not able to pay and need
substantial assistance and this, this
673
00:36:57,975 --> 00:37:02,805
emerging group now in between who are,
as we say, we've discussed at length
674
00:37:02,815 --> 00:37:08,224
here on the edge of financial fragility,
for want of a better word to give them
675
00:37:08,224 --> 00:37:13,480
an option that allows them to They don't
have money, but they do have their effort
676
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,670
and their time and their willingness
so that they contribute to one of the
677
00:37:16,670 --> 00:37:18,610
biggest costs in funerals, which is labor.
678
00:37:19,590 --> 00:37:22,710
You know, the people who work in
funerals are dedicated, hardworking
679
00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:24,290
people who do a hard job.
680
00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:27,910
But you know what, they've got
mortgages and children and cars
681
00:37:27,999 --> 00:37:29,980
and transmissions that break down.
682
00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:31,730
They've got to be paid as well.
683
00:37:31,730 --> 00:37:34,480
And that applies in a
charitable setting as well.
684
00:37:35,230 --> 00:37:41,579
So if the, you know, the, the industry
to enable for us as a, as a, uh, you
685
00:37:41,579 --> 00:37:45,250
know, even as a charitable training
enterprise for us to be there, we've
686
00:37:45,260 --> 00:37:46,610
got to be able to pay the bills.
687
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:51,080
So we need to cover those costs, but those
costs then give us the ability to have
688
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,850
those facilities that people could use.
689
00:37:52,850 --> 00:37:53,930
And we could open that up.
690
00:37:54,635 --> 00:37:56,085
That's where we're heading, Catherine.
691
00:37:56,085 --> 00:38:00,525
We think we're going to be able to
help people get funerals at cost.
692
00:38:01,515 --> 00:38:05,245
Catherine: And tell me, who
do you think a funeral is for?
693
00:38:06,235 --> 00:38:07,555
Do you think it's for the living?
694
00:38:07,565 --> 00:38:08,145
Personally?
695
00:38:08,565 --> 00:38:11,634
Or do you think it's for
the person who's died?
696
00:38:11,645 --> 00:38:14,085
Kevin: It's only for the living,
Catherine, in my personal view.
697
00:38:15,050 --> 00:38:16,480
can't be for anyone else.
698
00:38:16,510 --> 00:38:20,440
The, the deceased may have thought
about it and planned it, but again,
699
00:38:20,510 --> 00:38:23,470
a plan is only a thought in the
present moment about the future.
700
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,470
Once that person's died, no one knows.
701
00:38:26,519 --> 00:38:29,420
We could speculate all day on
what happens and whether there's
702
00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:31,430
a spiritual world or an afterlife.
703
00:38:32,189 --> 00:38:34,140
That's, that's a
speculation we'll all have.
704
00:38:34,189 --> 00:38:37,320
But the one thing you can be certain
of, you know, 9 billion people on the
705
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,320
planet and no one's getting out alive.
706
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,989
That person has gone wherever that
person's gone and we won't know.
707
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:44,700
So the funeral is a social one.
708
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:50,000
You know, my caveman example, either
was able to see what was going on or
709
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:53,560
wasn't, and if he was able to see,
he wasn't buying in as a participant.
710
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:57,270
It was for the other people who were
there and they, you know, and they sat
711
00:38:57,270 --> 00:39:02,970
in that cave for a while and then they
went, Oh, maybe we better take it outside.
712
00:39:03,970 --> 00:39:06,910
And you know, two days later
they went, maybe we better,
713
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:08,080
Oh, there's a hole over here.
714
00:39:08,130 --> 00:39:10,260
Maybe we put earth in here
and cover him with some earth.
715
00:39:11,430 --> 00:39:13,650
Or if they were a little bit
more advanced and had a fire,
716
00:39:13,650 --> 00:39:14,990
maybe they built a bigger fire.
717
00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:18,830
That's the, you know, I think that
genuinely is the social origin
718
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,459
of, you know, it is social, but
it's very meaningful for us.
719
00:39:21,459 --> 00:39:26,660
It's right in our DNA, because while,
uh, you know, I've got dogs, and one of
720
00:39:26,660 --> 00:39:29,690
the dogs have died over the years, the
other dog will have a quick sniff and
721
00:39:29,690 --> 00:39:30,920
then run off and play with the ball.
722
00:39:31,810 --> 00:39:35,170
Human beings, we have a
different form of intellect.
723
00:39:35,170 --> 00:39:37,320
We're able to see forward
and see backwards.
724
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:38,699
We remember and we remember.
725
00:39:39,060 --> 00:39:44,410
Past our minds into the imagined future,
and that makes us emotional, that makes
726
00:39:44,410 --> 00:39:48,920
us be able to remember what Earth meant to
us when he, when he went out and slew the
727
00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:51,509
saber toothed tiger and saved us that day.
728
00:39:51,989 --> 00:39:55,930
And that's, you know, that's the stuff
that's, it's emotional to us and that,
729
00:39:56,210 --> 00:40:01,210
and the funeral is to address our,
our feelings, our grief, to give us
730
00:40:01,210 --> 00:40:03,600
a pause for reality, a reality check.
731
00:40:03,650 --> 00:40:08,140
Oh, Earth's not here anymore, John's not
here anymore, Grandma's not here anymore.
732
00:40:08,975 --> 00:40:11,385
That's the purpose of it, it's, for me,
733
00:40:11,435 --> 00:40:12,325
Kieran: I can't see.
734
00:40:12,335 --> 00:40:17,815
I wonder if I could mention, thank
you, Kevin, for that little insight
735
00:40:17,815 --> 00:40:22,875
and how it occurs for you because it
just reminds me of what a skill it
736
00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:28,424
is for our funeral directors to take
the vision of the deceased, what they
737
00:40:28,424 --> 00:40:30,314
wanted to see happen when they passed.
738
00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:34,885
Take what the expectation of the
family is and find an acceptable,
739
00:40:34,895 --> 00:40:40,485
dignified blend of the two so that that
works for all parties and the memory.
740
00:40:41,095 --> 00:40:46,470
Of what the deceased was wanting, because
some things Can't happen and but most
741
00:40:46,470 --> 00:40:50,270
things usually can and then the family
have some slightly different ideas.
742
00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:56,239
I'd like to incorporate so the quality
of our professionals Even even in
743
00:40:56,240 --> 00:41:00,220
the charitable sense that not much
money is being spent is right up
744
00:41:00,220 --> 00:41:04,590
there alongside of the ones that
work for the commercial providers.
745
00:41:05,150 --> 00:41:07,590
They've usually come from
those industries originally.
746
00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:10,230
Often that's where their training
was and they were looking for a
747
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:14,650
different way of continuing that
work, a more community based way.
748
00:41:14,650 --> 00:41:18,580
So they, they take that, they take
the deceased wishes expressed by
749
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,199
the family and also in the system.
750
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,679
Often they come to us now and pre plan
what they want so we know what they
751
00:41:23,679 --> 00:41:27,049
want and then take what the family want
and we blend it together in a way that
752
00:41:27,099 --> 00:41:30,659
everybody feels like they got what was
right for the person who passed away.
753
00:41:31,019 --> 00:41:32,609
It's, it's, it's an incredibly.
754
00:41:33,145 --> 00:41:34,875
Gifted skill set that they have.
755
00:41:35,885 --> 00:41:40,765
Catherine: And do you think, Kieran,
that there is a basic element of ritual
756
00:41:40,835 --> 00:41:46,785
that is undertaken as part of the funeral
service that you see is consistently
757
00:41:46,785 --> 00:41:51,304
requested regardless of whether someone
can afford to pay for a funeral or
758
00:41:51,305 --> 00:41:52,924
they can't afford to pay for a funeral?
759
00:41:52,994 --> 00:41:56,795
What, what is the ritualistic
elements that you think that are key?
760
00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,030
That you've seen in in that.
761
00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:02,300
Kieran: Yeah, that's a that's
a really interesting question.
762
00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:05,480
It would have been answered
differently five or ten years ago
763
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:10,649
by me Probably is if there's an old
radio program floating around or some
764
00:42:10,650 --> 00:42:12,239
print media that Ted and I had done.
765
00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:14,329
It's changed dramatically now.
766
00:42:14,389 --> 00:42:17,830
Once upon a time you're either
secular or religious, you know, you
767
00:42:17,830 --> 00:42:21,885
wanted the church involved and you
wanted your priest to Do the eulogy
768
00:42:21,895 --> 00:42:23,305
for you and those sorts of things.
769
00:42:23,305 --> 00:42:26,075
And you might've even wanted it in
the church and we do that as well.
770
00:42:26,085 --> 00:42:26,835
There's no problem.
771
00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:30,005
More and more, we notice
people are secular that don't
772
00:42:30,015 --> 00:42:31,245
have a particular religion.
773
00:42:31,245 --> 00:42:34,855
It doesn't mean they don't believe in, in
God or a superior being, but they're just,
774
00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:41,064
they're not practicing any particular
religion and therefore those rituals would
775
00:42:41,065 --> 00:42:43,005
seem similar then they're not anymore.
776
00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:48,240
That people have an individualistic
idea of what they think is fair and
777
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:49,770
right for the person that passed.
778
00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:52,940
They may not necessarily always
agree with that person either.
779
00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:56,440
They may have had certain wishes and
the family wants something different.
780
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,900
So we, again, we find that blend that
makes sense for everybody because
781
00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:01,239
it's very much about the living.
782
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:05,070
It's the way to dignify the
person's passing and provide a
783
00:43:05,070 --> 00:43:08,520
lovely memory for the family to go
away and feel like they did right.
784
00:43:09,475 --> 00:43:12,545
It's important for families to feel
like they did what they could and they
785
00:43:12,545 --> 00:43:17,135
did right by the person who passed away
because at that point you're largely
786
00:43:17,135 --> 00:43:20,485
remembering all the fun and wonderful
things that that person did in their
787
00:43:20,485 --> 00:43:22,675
life, either for you or for others.
788
00:43:23,105 --> 00:43:25,465
It's the nature of, of death, isn't it?
789
00:43:25,475 --> 00:43:28,895
We all of a sudden remember all the
good times and that's a good thing.
790
00:43:29,590 --> 00:43:32,480
So, no, we don't have a specific
thing that seems to come up too often,
791
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,990
unless it's very religiously based,
and then it's all very, very similar,
792
00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:40,980
Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, we do, you
know, generally speaking, if it's church
793
00:43:40,980 --> 00:43:44,870
based, it's very similar in that way,
the ritual is similar, Catholic and
794
00:43:44,870 --> 00:43:46,940
whatnot, the secular stuff's interesting.
795
00:43:47,455 --> 00:43:52,395
It's part of our thinking, though, that
we need to apply a level of flexibility
796
00:43:52,395 --> 00:43:54,005
around that for people, you know.
797
00:43:54,325 --> 00:43:57,855
Certainly there are some things that
are probably just too, too hard to do,
798
00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,215
but most things are doable in some way.
799
00:44:00,674 --> 00:44:03,575
And we like to be as flexible as we
can with people's wishes, even the
800
00:44:03,575 --> 00:44:05,434
ones that can't afford very much.
801
00:44:06,155 --> 00:44:09,115
We like to see what we can do that
personalizes it for them, so that
802
00:44:09,115 --> 00:44:11,825
they're left with that beautiful
memory of, It didn't matter
803
00:44:11,825 --> 00:44:13,025
that I didn't have enough money.
804
00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:15,405
There was no difference in
how I honoured my mother when
805
00:44:15,405 --> 00:44:16,795
she left, that sort of thing.
806
00:44:16,795 --> 00:44:17,194
I
807
00:44:17,775 --> 00:44:21,724
Kevin: think a funeral, Catherine,
what you're hoping for out
808
00:44:21,765 --> 00:44:23,485
the end of it is meaning.
809
00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:26,835
You're looking for something that's
meaningful, and traditionally
810
00:44:26,835 --> 00:44:28,494
this is what ritual did.
811
00:44:28,494 --> 00:44:30,155
Ritual provided meaning.
812
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:32,680
Meaning for people.
813
00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:36,550
And it also takes a, an enormous
amount of stress out of things.
814
00:44:37,270 --> 00:44:43,160
Orthodox religions and, uh, who have
strict customs, the people engaged in
815
00:44:43,180 --> 00:44:46,780
the families engaged in the funeral are
far less stressed than most of the rest
816
00:44:46,780 --> 00:44:51,240
of us, because they know what's going to
happen because it's happened for the last
817
00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:53,590
thousand years and they're going to do it.
818
00:44:53,590 --> 00:44:58,040
And it might not seem as personal to
ask us as Karen alludes, we're in a
819
00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:00,120
very individual individualistic age.
820
00:45:01,260 --> 00:45:05,100
We're raised to think that we're a
single entity and we're important,
821
00:45:05,100 --> 00:45:08,410
and probably we're not, but there
we go, that's how we're raised.
822
00:45:08,470 --> 00:45:13,960
Watching this as a provider of
funerals, I'm seeing that it's, I
823
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:17,299
think it's becoming more difficult
for people often to find that
824
00:45:17,299 --> 00:45:18,979
meaning in the absence of ritual.
825
00:45:19,850 --> 00:45:26,910
So, again, it's, I think that simply
having a pause and a gathering is probably
826
00:45:26,910 --> 00:45:28,800
the common element of all funerals.
827
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:28,854
Thanks.
828
00:45:29,495 --> 00:45:34,865
Whether you sing a particular song or you,
you know, you, you, uh, march around the
829
00:45:34,885 --> 00:45:41,805
coffin holding incense for two hours on
the night before, or you, uh, have holy
830
00:45:41,805 --> 00:45:46,764
water and blessings and olive oil and, you
know, any of the various, uh, traditional
831
00:45:46,764 --> 00:45:52,920
customs, they're probably less important,
but I, I think there's a, One of the
832
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,610
things, ah, this is an excellent point.
833
00:45:54,910 --> 00:45:57,970
One of the things that happens in
the funeral industry commercially
834
00:45:57,970 --> 00:46:01,989
since, you know, kicked off in the
late 80s with the advent of simplicity
835
00:46:01,989 --> 00:46:07,489
funerals, who were the original price
discounters, is that people became
836
00:46:07,490 --> 00:46:09,319
more price sensitive on funerals.
837
00:46:09,330 --> 00:46:14,025
So now there's a whole group of people,
probably about 20%, Who only look at
838
00:46:14,055 --> 00:46:18,725
the cost, and I think that's to their
psychological and social detriment.
839
00:46:19,595 --> 00:46:22,215
If they're simply going to say, well,
I'm going to have the absolute minimum
840
00:46:22,215 --> 00:46:25,675
service, I'm just going to have a, and
this is not to say that this isn't right
841
00:46:25,685 --> 00:46:29,084
for some people, but to say, I'm not
going to have a funeral service at all.
842
00:46:30,055 --> 00:46:30,964
What is there?
843
00:46:31,805 --> 00:46:32,845
What is there socially?
844
00:46:32,845 --> 00:46:33,975
Where's the meaning in that?
845
00:46:35,095 --> 00:46:38,010
Unless the person was just really,
terrible to them or something,
846
00:46:38,010 --> 00:46:40,160
and they, you know, they just
wanted to get rid of them.
847
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:40,750
I don't know.
848
00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:45,410
But ritual is powerful if it's meaningful
to you, if it's part of your culture.
849
00:46:45,410 --> 00:46:46,740
If it isn't, it's purposeless.
850
00:46:46,965 --> 00:46:50,905
But I think in the absence of
ritual, we need something else
851
00:46:50,935 --> 00:46:52,405
that gives meaning to the funeral.
852
00:46:52,995 --> 00:46:57,455
And it's, it's the thing that gives
meaning to suffering, uh, is sharing it.
853
00:46:58,175 --> 00:47:03,735
And that's, you sit down with a group
of people, or Ert and his family sit in
854
00:47:03,745 --> 00:47:08,675
the cave, or we gather at a crematorium,
but, and, and this was the key thing
855
00:47:08,675 --> 00:47:13,375
that, uh, Ted Worthington and Kieran
and his brother in following on.
856
00:47:13,780 --> 00:47:16,720
have provided people is those
original proper funerals.
857
00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:17,530
There was no funeral.
858
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,790
There was no service.
859
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:23,080
So even if a person was homeless and
had three homeless friends, those poor
860
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:27,209
three homeless friends didn't even get
the opportunity to make some meaning
861
00:47:27,210 --> 00:47:29,080
out of that, that person's death.
862
00:47:30,050 --> 00:47:34,010
So as a, as a social commentator,
not a funeral director, because
863
00:47:34,010 --> 00:47:36,890
I don't think of myself quite so
much as a funeral director anymore.
864
00:47:36,890 --> 00:47:38,400
We're in a charitable space now.
865
00:47:38,460 --> 00:47:39,790
Our job is to help people.
866
00:47:40,290 --> 00:47:45,240
And help social stability and help
the environment, but I, as a social
867
00:47:45,250 --> 00:47:51,640
commentator, I think we're, if we just
chase price, which then means less
868
00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:55,590
and less service and less and less
possibility of meaningful service,
869
00:47:55,690 --> 00:47:57,339
I think we're doing an injustice.
870
00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:01,685
Not judging people who do that,
that's a personal choice and
871
00:48:01,715 --> 00:48:03,715
individual variance is guaranteed.
872
00:48:04,275 --> 00:48:08,254
But I think if we're not, as a
society, and you know, our part in
873
00:48:08,254 --> 00:48:13,435
that as a charity is to fill parts of
societal lacks that perhaps government
874
00:48:13,454 --> 00:48:17,184
haven't seen yet, or can't fill,
or other people don't want to fill.
875
00:48:17,555 --> 00:48:21,705
We need to fill that so that when people
die they have the opportunity at least
876
00:48:21,715 --> 00:48:23,235
to make some meaning of that death.
877
00:48:24,025 --> 00:48:27,245
Because otherwise, I think we're ending
up with a whole group of scarred people
878
00:48:27,245 --> 00:48:30,705
out there, and they're probably not
quite sure why they're scarred, because
879
00:48:30,705 --> 00:48:34,635
a funeral, a funeral is the start
point in many senses for addressing
880
00:48:34,635 --> 00:48:35,835
the grief that comes with death.
881
00:48:35,885 --> 00:48:38,405
Kieran: Here's an interesting thing
that crops up from what you're saying,
882
00:48:38,435 --> 00:48:43,704
Kevin, and that is that what I've,
what I've noticed is ritual came about
883
00:48:43,704 --> 00:48:48,105
originally because it was usually
around the honoring of a supreme being
884
00:48:48,105 --> 00:48:54,205
of some sort, but before Christianity,
it was Ra and onward and so forth.
885
00:48:54,315 --> 00:48:54,735
Okay.
886
00:48:55,735 --> 00:49:02,065
It then became a way to avoid emotion,
inadvertently, I think, not deliberately.
887
00:49:02,125 --> 00:49:05,405
I think what it did, it became the
thing you did so you didn't have to
888
00:49:05,434 --> 00:49:06,995
think or feel about what had happened.
889
00:49:07,515 --> 00:49:09,985
Because if you can just say,
Oh, we go down to Smith and,
890
00:49:10,194 --> 00:49:12,464
and son, they take care of it.
891
00:49:12,464 --> 00:49:14,335
They've done every
generation of our family.
892
00:49:14,604 --> 00:49:15,505
There's an order to it.
893
00:49:15,565 --> 00:49:16,175
We know what it is.
894
00:49:16,175 --> 00:49:19,155
We just have to pick colors
and flowers and bits and I
895
00:49:19,155 --> 00:49:20,145
don't have to think too much.
896
00:49:20,145 --> 00:49:21,615
I don't have to feel too much.
897
00:49:21,615 --> 00:49:23,585
I can worry about how I'm feeling later.
898
00:49:24,265 --> 00:49:25,135
And we go through this.
899
00:49:25,455 --> 00:49:29,505
Processes, commercial funeral directors,
you know, which we've been all of
900
00:49:29,505 --> 00:49:32,065
us at some point and we say, okay.
901
00:49:33,125 --> 00:49:36,515
We're at that point now, and then
something breaks, and it's usually
902
00:49:36,525 --> 00:49:40,585
right there in the service, and that's
when the sobbing and the crying begins.
903
00:49:41,295 --> 00:49:43,945
Everyone would have seen that at a
funeral, and that's because everything's
904
00:49:43,945 --> 00:49:45,725
been on hold up until that moment.
905
00:49:47,064 --> 00:49:49,235
And I think ritual's responsible for that.
906
00:49:49,505 --> 00:49:54,985
As, as, as comfortable as ritual is, and
as necessary as it seems, it's required.
907
00:49:55,585 --> 00:50:00,415
What we're now discovering is that in
this individualistic society, where
908
00:50:00,415 --> 00:50:04,785
people get to assert their How, who
they are and how they see themselves,
909
00:50:05,425 --> 00:50:09,965
they can become more involved in the
funeral preparation from the beginning.
910
00:50:10,685 --> 00:50:14,625
And as they're doing the work with the
funeral provider, they're beginning the
911
00:50:14,625 --> 00:50:19,095
grieving process and it's coming out in
bits and pieces of emotion here and there.
912
00:50:19,485 --> 00:50:23,035
It's feeding in to the final result,
which is the funeral, which is a
913
00:50:23,045 --> 00:50:26,765
beautiful thing because it's heartfelt
and it's natural, but at the same
914
00:50:26,785 --> 00:50:30,355
time, it's alleviating the pressure
for the person as they get involved.
915
00:50:30,785 --> 00:50:33,205
They think about the words,
they start to write the eulogy
916
00:50:33,235 --> 00:50:34,465
with the funeral director.
917
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:36,725
They don't just give them a
few points and let them do it.
918
00:50:37,375 --> 00:50:39,834
You know, they think about what sort
of flowers, whether they're from
919
00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:42,975
the garden or they're from grandma's
garden, those sorts of things, instead
920
00:50:42,975 --> 00:50:45,055
of just a flower provider at a price.
921
00:50:45,805 --> 00:50:47,624
They think about personalizing coffins.
922
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:50,465
We've done that for several people
in the past, have personalized
923
00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:54,085
coffins, had all the kids sign
a white coffin in colored pens.
924
00:50:54,270 --> 00:50:58,070
We've done that for my own family
members and that begins to let that
925
00:50:58,070 --> 00:51:01,630
emotion start to escape and start
to become real and become natural.
926
00:51:01,630 --> 00:51:06,080
And then by the time you get to the
service, interestingly enough, not as
927
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:11,810
much blow up, not as much explosion of
crying and upset and grief and wailing.
928
00:51:12,830 --> 00:51:16,470
Which can then trigger all sorts of
uncomfortable feelings for people who
929
00:51:16,470 --> 00:51:18,800
weren't there and find themselves in that.
930
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:23,270
I think getting involved and doing
something about it is going to be
931
00:51:23,270 --> 00:51:26,939
the key to the future for people
because it will alleviate some of
932
00:51:26,940 --> 00:51:29,340
the pressure built by the grief.
933
00:51:29,370 --> 00:51:32,890
It'll let it out in pieces leading
up to and then including the funeral.
934
00:51:33,350 --> 00:51:36,820
And then the tears are probably
more gentle and more heartfelt
935
00:51:36,830 --> 00:51:39,390
than just explosions of emotion.
936
00:51:40,380 --> 00:51:40,650
Known.
937
00:51:40,650 --> 00:51:41,430
Less meaningful.
938
00:51:42,830 --> 00:51:42,920
Catherine: I know.
939
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:43,100
In a
940
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:46,310
Kevin: way then, Karen, sorry, I'm just
thinking about this as you, as you're
941
00:51:46,310 --> 00:51:48,920
saying is, I don't think I've ever heard
you say this before, so I'm guessing
942
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:54,820
it's a new thought in a, in a way, the
lack of ritual that I'm speaking about.
943
00:51:55,230 --> 00:51:59,250
You think that could be replaced
by the, the engagement to make
944
00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:03,080
the preparation of the funeral the
ritual, but rather than it being
945
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,025
ritualized, it's a little more fluid.
946
00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:07,040
Kieran: Yes, I think so.
947
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,870
I think what this is becoming that we're
talking about it in our board meetings
948
00:52:10,870 --> 00:52:15,720
and what we're trying to discover the
ability for us to do and create on behalf
949
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:20,750
of folks that want to is a way for this
to become a more cathartic exercise
950
00:52:21,140 --> 00:52:24,580
whilst honouring the person that they've
lost so it's all wrapped together and
951
00:52:24,650 --> 00:52:29,700
everyone comes out feeling better given
that something pretty awful has happened.
952
00:52:29,700 --> 00:52:31,540
And often death is unexpected.
953
00:52:31,550 --> 00:52:32,570
It's not expected.
954
00:52:32,570 --> 00:52:35,210
So this is a better outcome for society.
955
00:52:36,465 --> 00:52:40,294
Catherine, I'm going to pretend you
asked me a question if it's all right.
956
00:52:40,475 --> 00:52:42,925
Feel free to pop it in, pop
it in ahead when you edit.
957
00:52:43,055 --> 00:52:44,015
That's what works.
958
00:52:44,255 --> 00:52:47,915
Or even better, don't, because if you
keep this bit in, it'd be terrific.
959
00:52:47,995 --> 00:52:49,925
Catherine: Yeah, exactly.
960
00:52:50,925 --> 00:52:54,425
Kieran: Here's what we're doing that no
one really understands and that we find
961
00:52:54,425 --> 00:52:56,315
it very difficult to put a measurement on.
962
00:52:57,325 --> 00:53:00,345
And I'm going to refer to that fellow
that I was talking about who is a
963
00:53:00,355 --> 00:53:05,255
real fellow, genuine fellow, had his
transmission gone in his car and he
964
00:53:05,255 --> 00:53:09,234
couldn't afford the two thousand dollars
to replace it because that was the cost.
965
00:53:09,235 --> 00:53:09,865
I knew that.
966
00:53:10,295 --> 00:53:12,065
And his car probably
wasn't even worth that.
967
00:53:13,054 --> 00:53:15,335
He wouldn't be able to borrow
the money or justify doing it.
968
00:53:15,345 --> 00:53:16,405
So he would be carless.
969
00:53:16,835 --> 00:53:20,485
He would have children to see to schools
to get them to doctor's appointments.
970
00:53:21,135 --> 00:53:22,465
He would be so stressed.
971
00:53:22,515 --> 00:53:23,605
He would break down.
972
00:53:24,615 --> 00:53:29,005
When he breaks down, four children
suffer, those children are traumatized,
973
00:53:29,465 --> 00:53:30,975
doesn't matter if it was meant or not.
974
00:53:31,945 --> 00:53:35,574
At least one of those children will
have criminal intent sometime in their
975
00:53:35,574 --> 00:53:37,285
life and will act on it out of trauma.
976
00:53:38,295 --> 00:53:42,755
That act will then affect other people
in society, you or me, in some way,
977
00:53:43,715 --> 00:53:46,645
via violence, theft, or otherwise.
978
00:53:47,825 --> 00:53:53,170
What we are doing is we're trying to kind
of, Let some steam escape by taking care
979
00:53:53,170 --> 00:53:56,330
of the folks that are really so close to
the edge that you don't know what's going
980
00:53:56,330 --> 00:53:59,810
to happen after this and you don't know
generationally what this is going to do if
981
00:53:59,810 --> 00:54:01,200
you don't help them when they need help.
982
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:02,839
This is what TED was all about.
983
00:54:02,839 --> 00:54:03,990
It's about community.
984
00:54:04,410 --> 00:54:09,099
It's about helping the people in desperate
need and you might be that person one day
985
00:54:09,099 --> 00:54:10,760
and need that same help by somebody else.
986
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,760
Bit of luck, you'd already helped them
and they were keen to help you back.
987
00:54:14,450 --> 00:54:16,440
It's kind of like small
town stuff, but it works.
988
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:21,209
So you think about the greater effect
of us ignoring the fact that there are
989
00:54:21,210 --> 00:54:25,809
people more and more now and we're not
just talking once upon a time in Victoria
990
00:54:25,810 --> 00:54:28,930
it was tens of thousands and we would
get a small percentage of that to help.
991
00:54:28,959 --> 00:54:31,720
We are now talking hundreds
of thousands of people.
992
00:54:32,330 --> 00:54:35,760
You know, Melbourne is a six
million, oh sorry, Victoria is a
993
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:41,150
six million coming up to population
and the percentages don't shift.
994
00:54:41,470 --> 00:54:45,110
That much so there are a lot
more people right on the edge.
995
00:54:45,540 --> 00:54:48,900
And if a funeral is the thing that tips
them over, goodness me, don't we all
996
00:54:48,940 --> 00:54:50,680
pay the price if no one's there to help?
997
00:54:51,679 --> 00:54:54,570
So there's a greater social
benefit to what we do than just the
998
00:54:54,580 --> 00:54:56,300
taking care of the funeral itself.
999
00:54:56,410 --> 00:54:57,740
I truly believe that.
1000
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,149
Catherine: It's interesting
that you say that.
1001
00:55:00,169 --> 00:55:05,950
I was in a meeting the other day
and we each had to recall our
1002
00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:09,230
earliest memory of when someone died.
1003
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,600
And it is always.
1004
00:55:11,935 --> 00:55:18,095
That impression that, uh, generally a
grandchild, uh, has of a grandparent's
1005
00:55:18,115 --> 00:55:23,945
funeral and that is generally the first
introduction someone has to death, uh,
1006
00:55:24,575 --> 00:55:29,115
if, if they're fortunate or you know,
that is the sort of natural progression
1007
00:55:29,125 --> 00:55:33,805
that they've aged, they've, they've
died, uh, and the grandchild attends
1008
00:55:33,805 --> 00:55:35,735
that as a first introduction to death.
1009
00:55:36,535 --> 00:55:40,635
And that's interesting with what
you're saying, because that.
1010
00:55:41,390 --> 00:55:48,330
has a direct impact on that child
is how that funeral is, is held, uh,
1011
00:55:48,340 --> 00:55:50,480
how that person's life is celebrated.
1012
00:55:50,890 --> 00:55:54,860
Uh, and it, it does have
a huge flow on effect.
1013
00:55:55,279 --> 00:55:59,849
And these were all adult women and
men in their, their forties, fifties,
1014
00:55:59,849 --> 00:56:02,709
and sixties recalling these stories.
1015
00:56:02,710 --> 00:56:09,415
So that has a very long lived impact,
uh, when you attend a funeral.
1016
00:56:10,385 --> 00:56:10,605
Kieran: Yeah.
1017
00:56:10,605 --> 00:56:14,635
It's, it's, it's amazing when it's, it's
a little bit scary too, when you start
1018
00:56:14,635 --> 00:56:18,184
to unravel what that looks like and you
realize, yeah, that there's, you know,
1019
00:56:18,185 --> 00:56:19,865
I can speak from personal experience.
1020
00:56:19,964 --> 00:56:23,545
I won't, but that child is in a situation
where all of a sudden something,
1021
00:56:23,795 --> 00:56:27,395
Terrible has happened is the way they
perceive it because as Westerners,
1022
00:56:27,395 --> 00:56:28,435
we're not real good with death.
1023
00:56:28,495 --> 00:56:30,145
We don't like to acknowledge it very much.
1024
00:56:30,325 --> 00:56:32,465
Certainly don't like thinking
about it or planning it.
1025
00:56:32,505 --> 00:56:34,995
That's just for some reason,
that's something that's crept
1026
00:56:34,995 --> 00:56:36,105
in over the generations.
1027
00:56:36,505 --> 00:56:37,975
So they don't get a lot.
1028
00:56:38,075 --> 00:56:38,694
There's the kid.
1029
00:56:38,695 --> 00:56:40,105
He doesn't get a lot of information.
1030
00:56:40,115 --> 00:56:42,014
He or she, all of a sudden
they realize there's a lot of
1031
00:56:42,014 --> 00:56:43,465
tension and upset in the family.
1032
00:56:43,485 --> 00:56:45,055
Usually one side more than the other.
1033
00:56:45,065 --> 00:56:46,035
Mom's crying a lot.
1034
00:56:46,045 --> 00:56:46,375
Why?
1035
00:56:46,435 --> 00:56:47,305
Dad's really angry.
1036
00:56:47,315 --> 00:56:48,435
I can't understand why.
1037
00:56:48,955 --> 00:56:49,365
Okay.
1038
00:56:49,365 --> 00:56:50,195
Oh, well, grandma died.
1039
00:56:50,325 --> 00:56:50,684
Grandpa died.
1040
00:56:50,685 --> 00:56:51,805
Oh, okay.
1041
00:56:51,835 --> 00:56:53,245
But they don't tell you very much else.
1042
00:56:53,595 --> 00:56:55,515
Most cases, this is what happens.
1043
00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:58,815
Then next thing you know, the
bill or the possibility of a bill
1044
00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,315
arrives, and boy doesn't it erupt.
1045
00:57:00,315 --> 00:57:02,655
Then if there are a family that
are a little bit on the edge or
1046
00:57:02,655 --> 00:57:05,835
only just have enough money to
get by, then the arguments start.
1047
00:57:05,835 --> 00:57:07,755
Then the fights, all sorts of things.
1048
00:57:07,755 --> 00:57:09,165
Trauma is just building.
1049
00:57:09,585 --> 00:57:11,685
It's building for everyone in the family.
1050
00:57:11,955 --> 00:57:15,135
Most importantly, it's building at
a formative phase for the child,
1051
00:57:15,775 --> 00:57:17,485
and they associate that with death.
1052
00:57:18,595 --> 00:57:21,545
And they get upset and they get angry
and they act out at some point, as
1053
00:57:21,545 --> 00:57:24,485
all children do, usually in your
teenage years, sometimes all the
1054
00:57:24,485 --> 00:57:28,115
way through to your twenties, maybe
thirties, this stuff sits in there.
1055
00:57:28,525 --> 00:57:32,625
Imagine if then you're in a situation
where even though money was a problem
1056
00:57:32,645 --> 00:57:35,805
and mum and dad were upset and stressed
out, that there was someone there to
1057
00:57:35,805 --> 00:57:39,805
help them through and that the child was
allowed to be part of the organisation.
1058
00:57:39,925 --> 00:57:42,685
They were allowed to sign the coffin
with a coloured pen, for instance.
1059
00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:45,320
Well, they're allowed to have
some of their words included
1060
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:49,260
in the eulogy or a little poem,
maybe a little pressed flower.
1061
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,750
All these things are possible
and then they're not expensive.
1062
00:57:53,010 --> 00:57:54,800
They just need people with
heart and a little bit of
1063
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:56,390
time to make it, get it right.
1064
00:57:56,870 --> 00:57:57,740
We can do that.
1065
00:57:58,060 --> 00:57:58,829
We do do that.
1066
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,920
We're thinking about how we can do that
for a lot more people because all of
1067
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,060
a sudden there is a lot more people
that are going to need that coming up.
1068
00:58:06,095 --> 00:58:10,215
Catherine: And I know Kieran, when we
were planning Roland's funeral, it was
1069
00:58:10,255 --> 00:58:16,265
the little stories when we, the children
were deciding what to have as the flowers
1070
00:58:16,265 --> 00:58:22,474
or what to have as the food or the music,
uh, at his wake after he was cremated.
1071
00:58:22,735 --> 00:58:27,835
It was those little things in the
storytelling that actually meant that
1072
00:58:27,835 --> 00:58:30,655
when we actually got to the memorial.
1073
00:58:31,725 --> 00:58:36,065
It was, it was still emotional and we,
we still had all of those feelings,
1074
00:58:36,425 --> 00:58:40,915
but there wasn't that pressure cooker
that you were actually referring to.
1075
00:58:40,965 --> 00:58:43,835
You know, we feel like we'd,
we'd dealt with a few of those
1076
00:58:43,845 --> 00:58:47,325
things by being able to tell those
stories and share those stories.
1077
00:58:48,105 --> 00:58:52,564
Kieran: Yeah, there's this real sense
of relief and peace in, in the sharing
1078
00:58:52,624 --> 00:58:55,644
and a family that have the ability
to open up their dialogue in a way,
1079
00:58:55,654 --> 00:59:00,504
particularly at such a, uh, a stressful
event that people can share in that way.
1080
00:59:01,060 --> 00:59:02,480
And try to lift the spirits of others.
1081
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,500
Oh, I remember when uncle Donald did this.
1082
00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:05,490
Wasn't that so funny?
1083
00:59:05,490 --> 00:59:06,240
Oh, goodness me.
1084
00:59:06,250 --> 00:59:08,520
Oh, you should have seen the time
you did these sorts of things.
1085
00:59:08,780 --> 00:59:11,500
It's that's letting that,
letting the steam out.
1086
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:15,070
Well, you know, it's that, that's the
cathartic experience at the same time.
1087
00:59:15,070 --> 00:59:17,519
It's building the love
for the deceased as well.
1088
00:59:18,140 --> 00:59:20,550
Because let's face it, you really
go through life where you have
1089
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:22,160
the same emotion about a person.
1090
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,230
It's up and it's down and
it's upset and it's love.
1091
00:59:24,230 --> 00:59:24,930
There's all sorts.
1092
00:59:25,300 --> 00:59:27,870
And you tend to find the love coming
through when the people are able
1093
00:59:27,870 --> 00:59:30,480
to communicate how they're feeling
about it and what they remember.
1094
00:59:30,940 --> 00:59:31,959
It's a beautiful thing.
1095
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,700
That starts with the funeral
director assisting the family
1096
00:59:35,709 --> 00:59:37,240
in making the funeral happen.
1097
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,100
Because that funeral director
sets the pace and the ability
1098
00:59:40,100 --> 00:59:41,200
for the people to do that.
1099
00:59:42,010 --> 00:59:43,390
It's quite a skill set, you know.
1100
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:46,210
It's very special what's
being done actually.
1101
00:59:46,210 --> 00:59:46,279
I agree.
1102
00:59:47,210 --> 00:59:49,720
Kevin: Suffering and grief
are not necessarily trauma.
1103
00:59:50,740 --> 00:59:55,240
Trauma is perhaps events of suffering
and grief that are unexpected or
1104
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:57,310
extreme or coming out of nowhere.
1105
00:59:57,310 --> 00:59:59,550
And that's really what
Kieran's talking about there.
1106
00:59:59,949 --> 01:00:04,689
And I think you're right, Kieran, I think
that the preparation towards that event,
1107
01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:09,459
it can be as sad as it might be, as it
potentially can be, but what you don't
1108
01:00:09,459 --> 01:00:13,410
want is an explosion in the middle of
it that the children don't understand.
1109
01:00:13,410 --> 01:00:14,930
And in fact, people don't understand.
1110
01:00:15,930 --> 01:00:18,280
And that's, I'd say a
little bit of trauma.
1111
01:00:18,805 --> 01:00:23,185
I think you picked up on something else
that you said there too about people
1112
01:00:23,275 --> 01:00:26,975
still not, still even in this age, not
being comfortable talking about death.
1113
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:32,005
And we probably don't have time today
and it's a bit off subject, but one of
1114
01:00:32,025 --> 01:00:36,675
the most fascinating social psychological
studies that I've ever looked at is around
1115
01:00:37,270 --> 01:00:41,440
What they call mortality salience, or in
plain English, being aware that you're
1116
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:47,820
going to die, which is a perhaps a subject
for another day, but it's, it's the secret
1117
01:00:47,820 --> 01:00:52,849
and the thing that we can address by
talking more and certainly by pre planning
1118
01:00:53,190 --> 01:00:55,050
funerals, or at least thinking about it.
1119
01:00:55,760 --> 01:01:00,750
And, and some of the most
usefully pre planned funerals
1120
01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:02,450
I've ever been engaged with.
1121
01:01:02,830 --> 01:01:07,830
Is where the deceased said, I want to
be buried, and this is my birthday,
1122
01:01:07,990 --> 01:01:09,570
and let the family work the rest out.
1123
01:01:10,550 --> 01:01:15,299
Here's the money to cover it, here's the
money to cover it, I want to be buried,
1124
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:18,989
I won't be buried there next to grandma
or whatever it is, here's my name, here's
1125
01:01:18,989 --> 01:01:20,759
my details, they can work the rest out.
1126
01:01:21,330 --> 01:01:25,920
And I actually learned that, yeah, I, I
had that experience directly with a very
1127
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:30,980
elderly guy and I, and I realized he
was right and I used to then not promote
1128
01:01:31,050 --> 01:01:32,359
that, but I'd tell people about it.
1129
01:01:32,359 --> 01:01:34,919
And I, most of the time I'd go
out to prearrange a funeral of the
1130
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:38,570
family and people would take three
hours and I'd take 25 minutes and
1131
01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:42,630
the outcome was much, much better
because Back to your first question,
1132
01:01:42,780 --> 01:01:44,150
Catherine, funerals are for the living.
1133
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:45,880
Catherine: That's true.
1134
01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:53,110
And is there any advice that you would
like to share with the audience if
1135
01:01:53,110 --> 01:01:58,429
they find themselves in a financially
hard situation and they're facing
1136
01:01:58,429 --> 01:02:03,420
a funeral or they, you know, do
they need to put money aside?
1137
01:02:03,710 --> 01:02:05,920
What's your, your suggestions?
1138
01:02:06,540 --> 01:02:07,980
Kevin, I might start with you.
1139
01:02:07,980 --> 01:02:08,069
Sure.
1140
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:10,100
Kevin: I was hoping
you'd start with Kiran.
1141
01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:11,930
Well, I thought, but
nevertheless, we'll have a crack
1142
01:02:12,830 --> 01:02:15,380
.
Catherine: You can take it
in either, either turn Kiran,
1143
01:02:15,380 --> 01:02:16,640
it can go to you if you like.
1144
01:02:17,215 --> 01:02:20,070
Kieran: I'm happy, Kev, if you want I,
I I already know what I'm gonna say.
1145
01:02:21,180 --> 01:02:21,960
.
Kevin: Oh, no.
1146
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:22,470
Have a go.
1147
01:02:22,470 --> 01:02:23,280
It's, it's funny.
1148
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:28,160
They're the, they're the, the, the tone
of, of wrap up questions of interviews.
1149
01:02:28,220 --> 01:02:30,020
What, what's your one piece of advice?
1150
01:02:30,020 --> 01:02:30,435
And I, yeah.
1151
01:02:30,835 --> 01:02:33,830
I, I'm based in Adelaide, in the
Adelaide Fringe festivals zone, and I
1152
01:02:33,890 --> 01:02:36,380
found myself in the city and the fringe.
1153
01:02:36,955 --> 01:02:41,145
having a meal and in a very busy cafe and
there was a young couple sitting next to
1154
01:02:41,145 --> 01:02:46,424
me and my friend who'd been together for
many years and he was a African man and he
1155
01:02:46,424 --> 01:02:50,285
said you look like you've been together a
very great long time what's the secret and
1156
01:02:50,285 --> 01:02:55,455
I thought how the hell can I tell you that
there is no one thing that I can tell you
1157
01:02:56,025 --> 01:03:00,905
so I'm not sure that there is one piece of
advice that I've got um thinking thinking
1158
01:03:00,905 --> 01:03:06,054
about or being consciously aware that
you're going to die actually makes your
1159
01:03:06,054 --> 01:03:08,820
life better Not morbidly attracted to it.
1160
01:03:08,820 --> 01:03:11,710
Don't sit down all day and,
you know, contemplate your end.
1161
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:12,910
That makes it better.
1162
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:17,260
If money's a problem, you know,
I'm interested in crowdfunding
1163
01:03:17,290 --> 01:03:18,329
funerals now, Catherine.
1164
01:03:18,329 --> 01:03:21,560
I don't think I've thought about that
too much until we've just talked to you.
1165
01:03:22,270 --> 01:03:28,920
If you're a Victorian, I'd call our
charity, actually, um, because we, as a
1166
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:35,020
charity, we aren't fighting commercially
to conduct the funeral for your family.
1167
01:03:35,210 --> 01:03:37,069
If we can help you, we do that.
1168
01:03:37,780 --> 01:03:40,789
If we're not the best person to help
you do that, we'll tell you we're not
1169
01:03:40,820 --> 01:03:42,290
the best person to help you do that.
1170
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:48,570
It doesn't matter, because As a charity
and most charities, our funding is limited
1171
01:03:49,060 --> 01:03:51,530
and we want to deploy that funding.
1172
01:03:51,690 --> 01:03:55,799
At this stage, it's almost like a triage
where we say, what's the worst case?
1173
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:56,540
Who can we help?
1174
01:03:56,540 --> 01:03:58,079
Who's in the most distress?
1175
01:03:58,529 --> 01:04:02,019
And that's the history of this
organization for 27 years.
1176
01:04:02,660 --> 01:04:06,369
And now what we're doing, of
course, is saying, there are people
1177
01:04:06,369 --> 01:04:07,620
in a different sort of distress.
1178
01:04:07,620 --> 01:04:08,580
How can we help them?
1179
01:04:08,580 --> 01:04:12,020
How can we Take what we have,
the facilities we have, the
1180
01:04:12,020 --> 01:04:16,090
capacities and the resources we
have, and stretch it even further.
1181
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:19,260
It's Merlin the Magician stuff,
but we're about to do it.
1182
01:04:20,269 --> 01:04:22,290
Kieran: Well, I'm, I'm gonna be simple.
1183
01:04:23,069 --> 01:04:24,029
I hope that's okay.
1184
01:04:24,910 --> 01:04:29,149
I'm just gonna say, folks, get
onto the website, CriticalInfo.
1185
01:04:29,839 --> 01:04:35,600
Understand what it is you're involved
in, and then contact us, and if
1186
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:37,930
you're still with us, organize it.
1187
01:04:38,470 --> 01:04:39,420
We can do that for you.
1188
01:04:40,385 --> 01:04:43,505
Get some, some information in the system
so we know what we're doing for you.
1189
01:04:44,095 --> 01:04:47,785
And if you're not with us and your
next of kin has contacted us, be
1190
01:04:47,785 --> 01:04:49,025
assured we'll take care of you.
1191
01:04:50,295 --> 01:04:53,525
Catherine: Kieran and Kevin, I
can't thank you enough for being
1192
01:04:53,525 --> 01:04:55,145
guests on the podcast today.
1193
01:04:55,165 --> 01:04:57,175
I look forward to our next chat.
1194
01:04:58,200 --> 01:04:59,090
Kieran: Well, thank you, Catherine.
1195
01:04:59,090 --> 01:05:03,330
We really appreciate the opportunity to
talk to, to reach a bigger audience to
1196
01:05:03,330 --> 01:05:04,780
understand what it is we're providing.
1197
01:05:04,780 --> 01:05:05,900
So thank you very much.
1198
01:05:06,870 --> 01:05:07,160
Cheers.
1199
01:05:07,209 --> 01:05:07,720
Thank you.
1200
01:05:07,970 --> 01:05:08,470
Catherine: Wonderful.
1201
01:05:08,539 --> 01:05:09,430
Thank you so much.
1202
01:05:12,239 --> 01:05:15,679
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,
1203
01:05:15,959 --> 01:05:17,479
brought to you by Critical Info.
1204
01:05:18,490 --> 01:05:22,750
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1205
01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:24,460
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1206
01:05:24,855 --> 01:05:28,435
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1207
01:05:28,435 --> 01:05:30,175
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1208
01:05:30,355 --> 01:05:34,475
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1209
01:05:34,485 --> 01:05:36,215
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1210
01:05:36,534 --> 01:05:37,885
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1211
01:05:38,045 --> 01:05:41,504
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1212
01:05:41,804 --> 01:05:43,395
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1213
01:05:43,824 --> 01:05:45,695
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1214
01:05:45,745 --> 01:05:49,105
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Read Less
Resources
- Visit the Website: Bereavement Assistance
- Visit the Website: Potters Field Funerals
- Visit the Website: Earth Funerals Project
- My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?
Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. It has a checklist that Danielle refers to in this episode. Download it here.
- Support Services
If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here.