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He felt like he couldn't speak and share.

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Being stereotypical male, didn't
want to tell his mates how he was

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honestly feeling and felt like he
was always a burden on our friendship

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group for having negative feelings.

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So he had an episode, it would have been
10 or 11 months before he flew up to

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Darwin where he tried to take his life and
I was lucky enough to sort of intervene

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and stop him from doing so but before that
we had no idea that he was struggling.

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He was always usually in The happy
person in the friendship group that was

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cracking the jokes at the footy club and
mucking around and having a good time.

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And yeah, it wasn't until he sort of
had that cry for help that we realized

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that he was struggling and that he
needed sort of professional help.

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Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead, a
podcast encouraging open conversations

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about dying and the death of a loved one.

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I'm your host, Katherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to

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bring your stories of death back to life.

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Because while you may not be ready
to die, At least you can be prepared.

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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations

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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.

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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend

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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First

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Nation peoples around the globe.

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So today we are speaking with Ben.

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Ben is part of a trio and his
offsiders are Nathan and my son.

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They're qualified teachers, but in 2021,
they did something that not many mates do.

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They started Speak and Share, a charity
whose vision is to become one of

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Australia's most impactful mental health
advocacy organizations that creates

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everlasting change in our community.

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Thank you for being with us today, Ben.

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Nah, thank you for having me Catherine.

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It's a pleasure to be here
being a long listener of the

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don't forget Don't be dead.

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Don't record Ted podcast So it's good
to good to be good to jump on and

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I'm going to get stuck into the chat

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No problems.

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It is a bit of a mouthful.

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So thanks for

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it's a bit of tongue twister, isn't it?

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Now what motivated you to?

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To create speak and share.

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Yeah, that's probably a few aspects.

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So myself and then my business partners,
Mason, Nathan sort of went through our

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own mental health battles during 2020.

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So I'm all lucky enough to get up
to Darwin during the COVID lockdown.

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And during that time period, we sort of
all went through our own experiences.

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So I unfortunately lost a mate to suicide.

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Nath's parents split up and then.

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Mace lost a loved one
to a workplace accident.

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So three pretty traumatic experiences
that we all went through independently

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and being stereotypical males didn't
communicate about how that was affecting

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us and turned to some unhealthy behaviours
during the rest of our trip to Darwin.

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And then I think we came home in January
21 and sort of all got together and

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saw how the community was struggling
during the COVID lockdown and the kids

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we were teaching, they were struggling.

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So.

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Wanted to get into the mental
health space, didn't really know

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what it was going to look like.

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Created an Instagram platform and saw what
the Inspired Unemployed boys were doing,

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if you know them, they're sort of content
creators and create some funny videos.

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So we created a few skit videos that
made people laugh that had a positive

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mental health message on the end and
they got a lot of traction and then.

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We had the idea of starting getting
some merchandise and apparel to sort of

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spread our message and that really got
some traction more than we thought it

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was going to get and it's really grown
from there, three years down the track.

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We're now a registered charity, a medium
sized charity that runs programs in

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schools, sporting clubs and workplaces
and runs community events and just

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all about sort of normalizing the
conversation and providing the community

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an opportunity to connect and talk
about the topic of mental health.

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Wow.

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And tell me, you mentioned unhealthy
behaviours, so what sort of things

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were, or what was the catalyst
that went, okay, this is enough.

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Was there one bad experience or you just,
you know, had a big boy trip away and

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just went, look, we can't keep doing this.

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Yeah, probably for me it was, I'm
a pretty physically active person.

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So I went from being physically active
and playing footy to sort of not wanting

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to play footy, not moving my body like I.

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Usually would, was eating pretty
unhealthily, was drinking a fair bit

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and was struggling to sleep and sort
of do the things I love and I know

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that Nathan and Mace were the same.

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So it sort of got to a stage where I
wasn't happy with the person that I was.

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I wasn't talking to family and friends
about how I was honestly feeling and

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yeah, it was only until we went for a walk
together once we came back from Darwin

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that we realized that we're all in the
same boat and something needed to change.

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How did that happen?

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How did that conversation come about?

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Yeah, it was a tough one.

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I know Nath was really struggling
with his parents separating.

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So we were sort of honest with
him and said, you know, we noticed

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that you've been struggling,
do you want to go for a walk?

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And on that walk, he sort of opened
up about what he'd been through

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and how he was feeling about it.

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And then myself and Mace did too.

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And it was just good to sort of have a
sounding board where we could honestly

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express how we're feeling and, you
know, the experiences that we'd been

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through and how they were affecting us.

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So it was, yeah, really nice to
sort of be on that walk and it

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was definitely a turning point.

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In us, you know, receiving the help
that we needed and realizing that there

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sort of is support out there and your
mates are more than happy to listen to

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the issues that you're going through.

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And do you mind me asking, did you seek
formal support after that conversation?

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Oh, I didn't know.

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I've never seen a psychologist.

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I definitely need to, which has
come up in recent discussions with

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sort of business mentors and stuff.

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Cause I've had a bit of
grief through losing Josh.

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And then I've had a couple of other things
in my life that I definitely need to

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sort of, you know, talk about a bit more.

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I know Nath saw a psychologist
once his parents split up and,

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and Mace has never seen a psych.

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He's, he's usually a pretty up and
about individual and he's really

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good at expressing his emotions.

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But no, I didn't see a psych after Josh
passed, but I have a lovely family.

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Mum and dad are awesome and I have
a great support network around

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me who are incredibly helpful.

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But yeah, definitely need to sort of
get into that professional health space.

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And Josh was the name of
your friend that died?

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Yeah, correct.

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Yeah, he was from the
Mornington Peninsula.

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So the three of us are born
and bred from the peninsula.

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He was 24 at the time, 25 I think.

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Was a business owner, he was a carpenter,
was a really good footballer, good

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sportsman, was a good looking fella,
had everything going for him, but was

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unfortunately struggling with his own
sort of internal demons that, yeah,

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it got the better of him and he felt
like he couldn't speak and share.

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Being stereotypical male, didn't want
to, you know, tell his mates how he

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was honestly feeling and felt like he
was always a burden on our friendship

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group for having negative feelings.

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So yeah, he had an episode, it would
have been, I think it was 10 or 11

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months before he flew up to Darwin
where he tried to take his life.

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And I was lucky enough to sort of
intervene and stop him from doing so.

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But before that, we had no
idea that he was struggling.

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He was always usually.

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The happy person in the friendship
group that was cracking the jokes

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at the footy club and mucking
around and having a good time.

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And yeah, it wasn't until he sort of
had that cry for help that we realized

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that he was struggling and that he
needed sort of professional help.

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But when that happened,
it was almost too late.

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He sort of went on to antidepressants
and all that sort of medication.

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And it was, yeah, almost a downward spiral
from that sort of cry for help instance.

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And then it was only about
10 or 11 months until he.

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Ended up taking his life, but that's
sort of why I created Speak and Share

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is to get these conversations going
and get males and females talking

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about their mental health before it
is an issue and before people are

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suicidal and all that sort of thing.

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And so what do you recommend to teenagers
or even young adults in their 20s or 30s?

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What do you recommend in relation
to starting those conversations

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and speaking and sharing?

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Yeah, it's probably a few things.

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I think the first one is being honest.

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So you've got to be
honest with your mates.

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If you notice that they are
struggling, be honest with them.

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And so, you know, Catherine, I realized
that you haven't been doing the things you

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love or you seem like you're a bit upset.

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Um, so honesty is the first one.

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And then the second one's when you sort of
start these conversations is get them in

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an environment that they feel comfortable.

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So don't sit down with them face to face
and sort of grill them face to face.

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But if you like going out in the
outdoors or you like arts and craft

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or going to the movies, get them in an
environment that they feel comfortable.

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Whether it's going for a drive or going
to the beach or going for a walk, get

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them in that environment where they are
comfortable and then yeah, definitely

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hit them with the honesty question
and be honest with them because yeah,

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you don't want to not ask the question
before it's too late, which is probably

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the one regret that I've got with Josh.

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And do you suggest it being on a one
on one basis, or was it the three

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of you that sat down with Josh?

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Yeah, it depends on the person.

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I'd probably ask the person first,
like, would you prefer that I come

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with you, or do you want, you know,
a group of mates of us to come?

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It depends on the person, and ask
them what they would prefer, and you'd

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hope that, you know, being a good
mate, that they'd say, I'd prefer that

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you just came, or I'd prefer that,
you know, all the boys just came.

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But usually when I caught up with
Josh, it was just one on one.

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He was pretty happy with that.

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We'd get fish and chips, I'd go for a
walk, and Get outside where we're not

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sort of sitting down at a coffee table,
face to face, making direct eye contact.

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And you can, you know, look at the
trees or look up in the air and get

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those honest conversations going.

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It's kind of like, and I have used
reference a bit when I've been speaking to

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people, but it's kind of like as a parent,
when you have that sex conversation,

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you know, with your child, you're just.

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Don't make it intense.

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You do it in the car or, you know,
somewhere where, like you were saying,

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people are comfortable and they can
open up without the intense eye contact.

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Yeah.

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A hundred percent.

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You want them to be comfortable.

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Like you don't want it to be like
they're sitting in a, in a psychology

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ward with a psychologist in this
white room sitting face to face.

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Like you want them in an environment where
they do feel comfortable and they can, you

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know, express themselves in an honest way.

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00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:22,015
Yeah.

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And tell me, so it went from this
obviously very raw personal experience

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for each of you to then thinking, okay,
well, how else can we support people?

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So talk me through that process
because then to become a

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charity, not everyone does that.

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00:09:42,835 --> 00:09:46,325
No, yeah, it's definitely grown a lot
quicker than we initially expected,

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which has been awesome, overwhelming,
but I think it just shows the sort

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of the need for what we're doing.

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So.

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00:09:51,445 --> 00:09:53,495
I remember we sold our first hoodie drop.

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00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:56,285
So our office used to be
mom and dad's kitchen table.

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00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:59,515
And we had about 350 hoodies
dropped off to mom and dad's house.

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00:09:59,545 --> 00:10:02,255
And mom said, there's no way
that you're going to sell these.

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00:10:02,324 --> 00:10:03,415
No one's going to buy these.

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00:10:03,454 --> 00:10:05,655
And I think we sold them out in,
it was less than five minutes.

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00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:06,855
So that was good.

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00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:11,265
And we're lucky enough that an individual
called Sam bought a hoodie and his mom,

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00:10:11,635 --> 00:10:14,845
Rebecca Wilmont, who's now on our board,
sort of questioned Sam and said, you

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00:10:14,845 --> 00:10:16,125
know, what's this speak and share stuff?

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00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,035
Like, what's it all about?

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00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:17,174
Yeah.

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00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:20,545
And then she reached out to us
and said, well, what's your ideas?

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00:10:20,555 --> 00:10:22,714
I'd love to catch up with you and see
what you're thinking with speak and share.

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00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:25,595
And we did had no idea what we
wanted to do is speak and share.

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00:10:25,595 --> 00:10:28,875
And since we caught up with her being
school teachers, we always knew that

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00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,174
we wanted to get into the school space.

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00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:34,420
But that initial catch up with Beck sort
of helped us, you know, brainstorm ideas

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00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:38,600
and spaces and aspects that we wanted to
get Speak Share into and has really helped

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00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,430
mold Speak Share into what it is today.

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00:10:40,939 --> 00:10:43,550
And can I take you a step back?

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00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:44,239
Yeah.

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00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:45,259
Hoodies.

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00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:46,750
Where did that come from?

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00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:47,500
Yeah.

226
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,189
Um, the three of us like our clothing,
like to have a bit of swagger and probably

227
00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:55,439
spend too much, too much money on clothes,
but it was just a great way initially

228
00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:57,339
to get some cash into the business.

229
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,250
Obviously being in Melbourne,
everyone always needs a hoodie

230
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,699
because it's always freezing outside.

231
00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:05,350
So, we thought the hoodie would be
sort of the staple product and having

232
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:08,869
the big Speak Share logo on the front
definitely gets the conversations going.

233
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:12,050
Like if you see it out in public, if I'm
wearing Speak Share and someone else is

234
00:11:12,549 --> 00:11:15,260
wearing Speak Share, you'll give them a
wave, but there's a lot of people that

235
00:11:15,269 --> 00:11:17,939
haven't seen it before that might see a
hoodie and they'll go up to the person

236
00:11:17,939 --> 00:11:21,300
and say, what's this Speak Share stuff,
which gets, um, conversation going.

237
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,930
So, it's pretty much just like a
walking billboard, which is awesome.

238
00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:25,930
And tell me about the design.

239
00:11:26,225 --> 00:11:26,925
Yeah, the design.

240
00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:27,135
Yeah.

241
00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:28,875
So we have a graphic
designer called Billy.

242
00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:29,925
She's a local girl too.

243
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:30,455
She's awesome.

244
00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:31,815
So she's been with us from the start.

245
00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:32,035
So.

246
00:11:32,464 --> 00:11:34,645
We try and change each hoodie design.

247
00:11:34,645 --> 00:11:35,655
So we do them in drops.

248
00:11:35,665 --> 00:11:37,704
So we are hoping to do this year.

249
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,675
It's roughly about one every month.

250
00:11:39,954 --> 00:11:41,894
So we'll dedicate a garment.

251
00:11:41,894 --> 00:11:44,785
So whether it's a hoodie, a t shirt
or a hat to someone in their story.

252
00:11:44,814 --> 00:11:48,824
So someone will jump on our Instagram
platform and share their story and what

253
00:11:48,824 --> 00:11:52,464
they've been through and on the back of
that, they'll choose a charity alongside

254
00:11:52,464 --> 00:11:53,865
speaking share that they want to support.

255
00:11:53,865 --> 00:11:56,875
And we usually donate between
five to 10 to another charity.

256
00:11:57,285 --> 00:12:00,515
And it just, yeah, kids relate to and
adults relate to sort of the story

257
00:12:00,565 --> 00:12:03,145
and the garment and the storytelling
behind it, which is really special.

258
00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:07,965
And I've seen the sunflower
hues or daisy hues.

259
00:12:07,975 --> 00:12:08,385
Yeah.

260
00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:08,465
So

261
00:12:08,465 --> 00:12:10,085
the sunflower is our logo.

262
00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:12,854
So for us, it just represents
strength and perseverance.

263
00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:16,754
So sunflowers are amazing,
amazing plants, amazing flowers.

264
00:12:16,814 --> 00:12:19,835
They can obviously last, you know,
the heat during summer and then

265
00:12:19,835 --> 00:12:21,115
they survive during winter too.

266
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:24,495
And usually when you see them,
they are growing out in fields

267
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,265
together in hundreds or thousands.

268
00:12:26,265 --> 00:12:29,545
And I guess that's what we're trying
to build at Speak Share, sort of a

269
00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:33,155
community that wants to come together,
help each other sort of grow towards the

270
00:12:33,155 --> 00:12:36,154
sun and work towards each other and lean
on each other during those hard times.

271
00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:40,054
And even the way I'm
going to go back into my.

272
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,720
botanical background now.

273
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,820
You probably know, you probably

274
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,003
know more about the sunflower than I do.

275
00:12:46,003 --> 00:12:46,479
No,

276
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:52,350
just I'm thinking about when you like
have sunflowers and they've grown

277
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,930
and you're getting the seeds out.

278
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:58,639
All the seeds come together and they
support each other in the flower and

279
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,939
so it's a beautiful thing that you've
chosen the sunflower because in so

280
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:08,749
many elements It's, it represents
support and little individuals making

281
00:13:08,749 --> 00:13:10,839
up a bigger, beautiful picture.

282
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:11,760
For sure.

283
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,189
And I think when you always see them,
they always look like happy flowers,

284
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:15,900
like they never look like they're sad.

285
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:18,590
And, um, yeah, that's what we're
trying to create and speak and share

286
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,709
is just, yeah, people that want to talk
to others about their mental health

287
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,019
and hopefully grow towards the sun.

288
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,739
Oh, that's really lovely.

289
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,044
Yeah.

290
00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:25,530
And the

291
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,609
fact that it actually
radiates towards the sun.

292
00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:30,065
Yeah, exactly right.

293
00:13:30,065 --> 00:13:30,275
Yeah.

294
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,645
Which is what we're trying to grow is
people that wanna, you know, get the

295
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,795
best outta themselves and speak and
share and yeah, hopefully, you know, grow

296
00:13:35,795 --> 00:13:37,415
towards the sun and, and start blooming.

297
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,005
That's really beautiful.

298
00:13:39,675 --> 00:13:45,435
Tell me, you do this as a side venture
and you're all teachers at the same time.

299
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,275
What do you teach?

300
00:13:47,724 --> 00:13:48,114
Yep.

301
00:13:48,114 --> 00:13:50,155
So I didn't actually teach at all.

302
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:52,194
I did a bit of casual relief
teaching while we're trying

303
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:53,214
to get speak and share going.

304
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:57,925
I studied exercise science and
teaching at a CU, so I was.

305
00:13:58,475 --> 00:13:59,725
a PE teacher.

306
00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:02,155
So just mucked around playing
dodgeball with the kids pretty

307
00:14:02,155 --> 00:14:03,855
much and going on our direct camps.

308
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:07,065
Nath was the same but he's primary
and sec and then Mace is still

309
00:14:07,065 --> 00:14:09,635
working at primary school purely
because he loves the school he's at,

310
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,214
but he's teaching PE at the moment.

311
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:14,595
So we're all pretty three cruisy
individuals that like getting outside

312
00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:15,925
and playing sport with the kids.

313
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,330
Yeah, so you would have really
noticed that change in your

314
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:24,110
personality and how you were feeling
that you weren't being active.

315
00:14:24,619 --> 00:14:25,310
Yeah, for sure.

316
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:25,539
Yeah.

317
00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:26,610
I'm a very active person.

318
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:30,200
Love to run and go to the gym and move
my body and growing up was playing

319
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,530
footy and we're lucky enough to play
some footy up in the NT with the

320
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:36,840
TWA Bombers and after Josh passed, I
didn't really want to do any of that.

321
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,780
Didn't want to go to the gym.

322
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:38,460
Didn't want to run.

323
00:14:38,689 --> 00:14:42,829
Was eating unhealthy foods, fatty foods,
was going out drinking a fair bit.

324
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,710
So when I sort of, you know, was
reflecting during that moment,

325
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,949
was realizing that I wasn't
looking after my health and

326
00:14:47,949 --> 00:14:49,069
something needed to make a change.

327
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:55,166
And what is your recommendation
for parents when they start seeing

328
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,819
perhaps a change in that behavior?

329
00:14:57,820 --> 00:15:03,073
Of their children being very active,
being quite sluggish, you know, not

330
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:07,770
really taking care of themselves, any
behavior that's out of the ordinary.

331
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:09,479
What do you suggest?

332
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:11,670
Yeah, probably similar
to what I said before.

333
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:15,019
So, you know, getting your child in an
environment where they feel comfortable.

334
00:15:15,019 --> 00:15:17,300
So taking for a walk, if they like
kicking the footy, taking down to the

335
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:20,740
footy oval and being honest with them
to like, obviously your mom and dad

336
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,440
usually know when something's off.

337
00:15:22,869 --> 00:15:24,920
So ask the question, you
know, what's been happening?

338
00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:25,560
You're off.

339
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,650
You don't want to go to footy training.

340
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:27,689
Absolutely.

341
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:30,469
You're not going to the gym every day with
your mates, sort of what's been happening.

342
00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,699
And I think the other thing is just
provide them an opportunity to sort

343
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:37,149
of talk about what they want to talk
about and try and flow the conversation

344
00:15:37,149 --> 00:15:38,469
into how they've been feeling mentally.

345
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:41,349
And I think the important thing is,
is you don't have to have the answers.

346
00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:42,949
Like we're not psychologists.

347
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:44,979
We don't have the answers to a
lot of people's problems, but

348
00:15:44,979 --> 00:15:46,404
being there as a sounding board.

349
00:15:46,675 --> 00:15:49,115
Usually means a lot to the person
that is struggling and they can get

350
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:52,064
things off their chest and if they
are struggling and you think they need

351
00:15:52,064 --> 00:15:54,735
professional help, then you can sort
of, you know, reach out to the services

352
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,964
that you think they need to talk to.

353
00:15:56,285 --> 00:16:00,985
Do you think there's an element of
vulnerability that needs to be shown

354
00:16:01,185 --> 00:16:02,924
by someone who's trying to listen?

355
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,180
Yeah, for sure.

356
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:04,870
100%.

357
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:08,480
We say vulnerability is infectious,
so usually once one person shows their

358
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,850
vulnerabilities, which is what we do
during our programs, participants really

359
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:15,010
respect that and off the back of that,
they'll share their own vulnerabilities.

360
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:18,339
And I think as a parent too, you sort
of have to be vulnerable and, you know,

361
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,029
tell your son or your daughter that I've
been through similar things when I was

362
00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:25,330
younger, like I hated school or footy
training sometimes because I was anxious.

363
00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:28,395
You know, really break down the
barriers and not portray that

364
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,055
you're this individual that has
never had mental health problems.

365
00:16:31,055 --> 00:16:34,505
And once you do sort of show your
own vulnerabilities, your son or your

366
00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:38,184
daughter, or whoever you're talking to, we
will respect that and hopefully open up.

367
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:38,485
So

368
00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:38,924
you

369
00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:42,885
just to answer it from your
perspective, but do you think that

370
00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:48,645
is the key to unlocking the issues
that we're seeing nowadays with toxic

371
00:16:48,695 --> 00:16:55,395
masculinity and that behavior that
that generation of parents now, it's

372
00:16:55,395 --> 00:16:59,845
their responsibility to really change
that by showing their vulnerability.

373
00:17:00,345 --> 00:17:00,905
Yeah, for sure.

374
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:01,555
A hundred percent.

375
00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:05,095
I think as a teacher too, like I was
always pretty vulnerable as a teacher.

376
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,924
So if I was having an off day, like, I'd
be honest with the kids and say, you know

377
00:17:07,924 --> 00:17:08,984
what, I'm not feeling that great today.

378
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,432
I know you guys have days when you
feel off and I'm not feeling off too.

379
00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:11,629
And.

380
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,030
People really respect
people being vulnerable.

381
00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:17,770
There's a lot of people that put a facade
on like they're always flying and, you

382
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,140
know, they know the answer to everything.

383
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,789
But if I didn't know an answer to a
question as a teacher, I would tell

384
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,149
the kids like, I don't know what it is.

385
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,469
Like, we're gonna have
to find it out together.

386
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:30,074
And I think people really respect, you
know, people being vulnerable and, And

387
00:17:30,155 --> 00:17:35,145
you think if we actually as a society
adopted that vulnerability, it would

388
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:40,435
possibly reduce the likelihood of
feeling like the imposter syndrome

389
00:17:40,615 --> 00:17:44,675
when we're actually, you know, going
into different industries or different

390
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:49,195
job roles, because perhaps we're
giving ourselves an opportunity to

391
00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:51,965
be the real person and the real us.

392
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,465
We move on to those roles.

393
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:55,750
Yeah, a hundred percent.

394
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:59,340
I watch a lot of footy, for example,
and the footy clubs, AFL clubs that are

395
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:04,110
doing really well at the moment are clubs
where the players and employees embrace

396
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:07,989
themselves and express themselves and they
don't come into work into the footy club

397
00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:09,659
and try and be people that they're not.

398
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:10,739
So they wear whatever they want.

399
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:12,549
If they want to paint their
nails, they paint their nails.

400
00:18:12,919 --> 00:18:15,500
If they're struggling, they'll get up
in the front of the group and express,

401
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,330
you know, their vulnerabilities
and what they've been through.

402
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:22,055
I think, yeah, workplaces and schools
that, and any sort of organisation

403
00:18:22,055 --> 00:18:25,215
that allows people to express
themselves and, you know, openly

404
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:28,595
talk about how they're feeling are
ones that are places and schools that

405
00:18:28,664 --> 00:18:29,775
people want to spend their time in.

406
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:33,034
Because you don't leave
yourself at the gate, do you?

407
00:18:33,815 --> 00:18:34,364
Exactly right.

408
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,134
A hundred percent.

409
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:35,384
Yeah.

410
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:36,075
So it's crucial.

411
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,265
It can be hard to be vulnerable.

412
00:18:37,454 --> 00:18:39,785
But as I said before, if there's one
person that can sort of set the tone.

413
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,920
Then you often find that the others
will follow and will find it a

414
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,850
lot easier once that one person
has set the tone for the group.

415
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:50,290
And as a teacher in the school
environment, who do you suggest,

416
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:54,740
you know, the person who is
feeling vulnerable reaches out to?

417
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,260
Yeah, it's a tough one.

418
00:18:56,329 --> 00:18:59,970
Obviously, most schools have their well
being team and their welfare team, which

419
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:02,700
a lot of kids sort of struggle going to
because they don't want other kids knowing

420
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,420
that they're, you know, seeing the well
being team or seeing the psychologist.

421
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,584
I would suggest, you know, choose that
one teacher that you feel comfortable,

422
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:12,094
usually most kids have one teacher that
they love talking to, that's a role model

423
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:14,774
for me at school as my year 12 PE teacher.

424
00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:16,935
So option A would probably be
obviously go to the well being

425
00:19:16,935 --> 00:19:17,915
team and the welfare team.

426
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:21,094
But if you don't feel comfortable going
to them or don't want to have, you

427
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:24,455
know, the stigma associated with seeing
them, then definitely choose the one

428
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,604
teacher, whether it's male or female,
that you feel comfortable in talking

429
00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:29,504
to about your personal life for sure.

430
00:19:29,695 --> 00:19:31,619
And then they'll refer you
on to the help that you need.

431
00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:33,168
If it needs to go

432
00:19:33,168 --> 00:19:38,920
further and tell me running a charity,
why it's parody, it's hard work.

433
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:39,910
Yeah.

434
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,799
So there's a lot more work
than we initially thought.

435
00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:43,480
I'll tell you that it's,
it's pretty full on.

436
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,780
We just jumped from a small size
charity to a medium size charity

437
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:50,040
earlier this year, but from the get
go, we want it to be transparent

438
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,530
with where all the money was going.

439
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:55,110
We never want it to look like three
guys that we're trying to make an

440
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,860
impact in the mental health space that
we're also trying to make money off it.

441
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,190
So working in a charity, we'll have
our own awards and standards in

442
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,560
regards to what we get paid for.

443
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,990
It also helps with sort of growing
our message and spreading our message.

444
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:08,820
So it helps with grants and
people doing fundraisers.

445
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:12,189
We now have a DGR status too,
so people can donate and it can

446
00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:13,470
be tax deductible, which helps.

447
00:20:14,075 --> 00:20:16,305
And it sort of helps with, you know,
philanthropic money and all that

448
00:20:16,305 --> 00:20:18,465
sort of stuff, which you wouldn't get
if you were just a normal business.

449
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:22,825
So I think, yeah, transparency is the main
one and then it helps us with fundraising

450
00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:24,525
and donations, which has been huge for us.

451
00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:29,905
And do you engage a grant rather than
a channel overall to assist with that?

452
00:20:30,174 --> 00:20:30,504
Yeah.

453
00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:32,395
So being a charity, we've
got an advisory board.

454
00:20:32,494 --> 00:20:37,565
So we've got, I think there's eight people
on the board now, six to eight people.

455
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:40,625
They're all amazing business
professionals that have been

456
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,105
professionals in their field for years.

457
00:20:42,419 --> 00:20:45,050
So I've got one individual, Daryl,
who's been with us pretty much from

458
00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:48,989
the get go, who helps us write the
grant, um, applications and all the

459
00:20:48,989 --> 00:20:50,239
stuff for the philanthropic stuff.

460
00:20:50,239 --> 00:20:53,549
I'm not a great writer myself, so
he's definitely helped us for sure.

461
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:57,139
So yeah, we're really lucky to have
the board members on our team and they

462
00:20:57,139 --> 00:20:59,839
sort of provide us with, you know,
the professional tips that we need.

463
00:21:00,329 --> 00:21:04,209
And how did you decide
who you put on the board?

464
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:05,899
Yeah, yeah, it was a tough one.

465
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:09,169
So Beck, as I said before, was the
first lady that reached out and

466
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,700
then she sort of introduced us to.

467
00:21:11,499 --> 00:21:12,370
Two more people.

468
00:21:12,409 --> 00:21:15,469
So Ricky Johnson is one who
we knew through 40 connections

469
00:21:15,469 --> 00:21:16,350
and then Darryl Putin.

470
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,830
So we had them for, I think
the first year and a half.

471
00:21:20,139 --> 00:21:23,550
And then we sort of reflected and
realized that we needed people

472
00:21:23,589 --> 00:21:24,820
in the mental health space.

473
00:21:24,879 --> 00:21:28,789
We needed an accountant, we needed
a lawyer and then we had another

474
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:31,409
connection who was just like sort
of an entrepreneur background.

475
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,500
So we added, yeah, four more people
to the start to the board this year

476
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,700
who have sort of come from different
fields compared to Beck, Ricky

477
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:39,940
and Dara, who have been awesome.

478
00:21:40,329 --> 00:21:42,090
And they've just been people
that we get along with too.

479
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:45,379
So we never wanted to bring on
someone from the board that we

480
00:21:45,379 --> 00:21:48,140
haven't connected with personally
and don't get along with personally.

481
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,989
And the board that we have at
the moment is a really good team.

482
00:21:51,479 --> 00:21:54,139
Because it really is a relationship
that you're actually having

483
00:21:54,139 --> 00:21:55,240
with a board member, isn't it?

484
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,810
Yeah, it's crucial.

485
00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:57,130
Yeah.

486
00:21:57,170 --> 00:21:58,669
And they're an advisory board.

487
00:21:58,669 --> 00:22:01,619
So they just advise us on what
they think we should be doing.

488
00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:01,669
Yeah.

489
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,430
Which is awesome because we've got all
the ideas and sort of where we want Speak

490
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,220
Share to go and how we want to get there.

491
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:10,470
And they sort of help us on, you know,
the logistics behind it and the laws

492
00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:12,300
behind it and all that sort of stuff.

493
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,290
So, we didn't study business at uni.

494
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,090
Probably wish I did.

495
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:16,580
I should probably go
back and study business.

496
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,589
But they help us with, you know, the
business direction, the strategy.

497
00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:22,625
Budgets and all that sort of stuff,
which, yeah, we didn't have too much idea

498
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:23,925
about when we started speaking to you.

499
00:22:24,055 --> 00:22:27,645
And it sounds like you've surrounded
yourself with people who have

500
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:31,755
complimentary skills on the board
that can assist you with those steps.

501
00:22:32,735 --> 00:22:33,455
Yeah, for sure.

502
00:22:33,494 --> 00:22:33,764
Yeah.

503
00:22:33,764 --> 00:22:37,304
So as I said before, we've got a lawyer,
an accountant, who else do we have?

504
00:22:37,304 --> 00:22:39,034
Daryl's a business consultant.

505
00:22:39,044 --> 00:22:41,425
Beck has worked in the
youth field for years.

506
00:22:41,725 --> 00:22:43,774
Ricky used to work at the Brotherhood
of St Lawrence, but it's been in

507
00:22:43,774 --> 00:22:44,955
the corporate world for years.

508
00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:50,090
And Damian Merchant has just become, from
an entrepreneur, short of background,

509
00:22:50,090 --> 00:22:51,730
has started a lot of his own businesses.

510
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:54,749
So just, yeah, made a good mix of,
you know, business professionals

511
00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:55,919
and people from different fields.

512
00:22:56,249 --> 00:23:02,579
And tell me, how has your relationship,
as the three of you, changed during

513
00:23:02,619 --> 00:23:08,950
this sort of evolution of the business
from a small Charity to a media charity

514
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:13,030
and really where you first started
out and that was just three months.

515
00:23:13,930 --> 00:23:14,460
Yeah, yeah.

516
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,769
It's had a massive shift.

517
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,600
Like when we started speaking
to you, I think we would have

518
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,709
been, I would have been 21, 22.

519
00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:20,824
So.

520
00:23:21,115 --> 00:23:25,075
A relatively immature, probably
three best mates that, you know, just

521
00:23:25,075 --> 00:23:28,455
loved going out and having fun and
carrying on as, as young kids do.

522
00:23:29,145 --> 00:23:32,294
But yeah, the growth of Speak Share
and the rapid growth that it has

523
00:23:32,294 --> 00:23:35,675
had has definitely matured us as, as
people, but it has been challenging.

524
00:23:35,685 --> 00:23:39,285
You know, you walk up to work with
your two best mates every day and

525
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:42,075
you've got a business that you've
got to run and you know, we have to

526
00:23:42,075 --> 00:23:43,965
pay our own mortgages and stuff too.

527
00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:47,885
So it has been hard sort of putting
the friendship aside and putting your

528
00:23:47,925 --> 00:23:49,585
business hat on when you do come to work.

529
00:23:49,585 --> 00:23:53,115
And, um, I think it will be a challenge
sort of moving forward to is, you know,

530
00:23:53,205 --> 00:23:57,465
try not to fracture your friendship
relationship and make sure that your

531
00:23:57,625 --> 00:24:00,734
friendship and your business relationship
are booming at the same time, which is

532
00:24:00,734 --> 00:24:04,234
hard to do and speak to a lot of people
that have started businesses with their

533
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:06,304
friends and some are still blooming.

534
00:24:06,305 --> 00:24:08,254
Some have, you know,
fractured their relationships.

535
00:24:08,804 --> 00:24:11,955
It's purely from going into a business
together, but the three of us have

536
00:24:11,955 --> 00:24:15,195
a great relationship, respect each
other a lot, and are pretty good

537
00:24:15,195 --> 00:24:17,875
at sort of, you know, being honest
with each other and showing our own

538
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:21,235
vulnerabilities, whether it's in our own
personal life or with business stuff.

539
00:24:21,235 --> 00:24:24,044
So yeah, we're pretty lucky that
the three of us are so close.

540
00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:25,364
Hopefully stays that way.

541
00:24:25,495 --> 00:24:26,244
We'll have to wait and see.

542
00:24:27,514 --> 00:24:28,794
Well, how do you end bed?

543
00:24:29,470 --> 00:24:31,010
self care you into that process.

544
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,590
So you're making sure that when you
rock up each day, regardless of what hat

545
00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:42,860
you're wearing, that you're presenting
the best self you can be in mind and body.

546
00:24:43,129 --> 00:24:44,050
Yeah, that's a good question.

547
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,359
We've been reflecting on that
recently, and it's probably something

548
00:24:46,399 --> 00:24:49,030
that we're not spending enough
time on is the self care piece.

549
00:24:49,129 --> 00:24:51,540
It's really hard too, because running
an organisation called Speak and

550
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:54,710
Share, everyone thinks we have mastered
like the mental health realm and

551
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,520
you know, the power of vulnerability
and that we're always, Open to being

552
00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,710
vulnerable, but it's something that we
have to work on in our own lives, too.

553
00:25:02,330 --> 00:25:05,550
For me personally, like as I said
before, moving my body is really crucial.

554
00:25:05,569 --> 00:25:09,689
So I'll make sure that before work
I'll either go to the gym or move my

555
00:25:09,689 --> 00:25:13,109
body or take my dog for a walk and
that puts me in a really good mindset.

556
00:25:13,109 --> 00:25:17,580
And then once I leave work, I'll either
go to the gym on the way home or listen

557
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:21,020
to a podcast or some music that I like
to listen to before I get home to my

558
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,330
partner and make sure that I'm not in a
grumpy mood when I get home from work,

559
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,690
but it's just sort of an ongoing battle.

560
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:26,939
We're always at schools, too.

561
00:25:26,939 --> 00:25:27,059
So.

562
00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:29,790
When we go to a school, you know,
we've got to be full of energy.

563
00:25:29,790 --> 00:25:32,120
So it's, it's crucial that we're
filling up our own cups sort of

564
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,290
before we get to a school to.

565
00:25:33,774 --> 00:25:36,845
You know, tell an educate 60
kids on how they have to speak

566
00:25:36,845 --> 00:25:37,834
and share in their own lives.

567
00:25:38,185 --> 00:25:41,284
And there's like a performance every
time you have to go and do that.

568
00:25:41,754 --> 00:25:42,585
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

569
00:25:42,585 --> 00:25:43,004
It's awesome.

570
00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:46,704
Fun doing the programs pretty draining,
but yeah, energy is the biggest one.

571
00:25:46,704 --> 00:25:49,324
You know, when I was at school,
had a range of people that would

572
00:25:49,324 --> 00:25:52,744
come out and speak to my cohort
that didn't have the energy or.

573
00:25:53,255 --> 00:25:55,295
That was probably required and
you zone off pretty quickly.

574
00:25:55,295 --> 00:25:58,465
So it's crucial that three of us and
our facilitators go out to schools

575
00:25:58,465 --> 00:26:00,885
and we're full of energy and the kids
actually want to listen to us because

576
00:26:00,885 --> 00:26:03,835
we're engaging, but it definitely
drains your battery at the same time.

577
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:09,684
And do you use or do any of you use
like meditation, like something to

578
00:26:09,685 --> 00:26:12,574
slow you down to also fill your cup?

579
00:26:12,575 --> 00:26:12,688
Yeah.

580
00:26:12,688 --> 00:26:12,801
I've

581
00:26:12,801 --> 00:26:14,758
started journaling last couple of weeks.

582
00:26:14,758 --> 00:26:16,555
I've started journaling,
which has really helped.

583
00:26:16,815 --> 00:26:18,085
Podcast is a big one for me.

584
00:26:18,085 --> 00:26:21,595
I love listening to podcasts and people's
stories similar to what we're doing today

585
00:26:22,439 --> 00:26:25,769
Learn about what people have been through
and how they've got through those things.

586
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,669
But yeah, journaling's been a big one
for me, which I've really enjoyed doing.

587
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,310
I do struggle switching off.

588
00:26:30,310 --> 00:26:33,459
So meditation is something that I like to
do, but I feel like when I meditate, my

589
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:35,099
brain just goes a million miles an hour.

590
00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:35,289
And I.

591
00:26:35,689 --> 00:26:39,159
Don't settle it down like it should,
but yeah, journaling is one and moving

592
00:26:39,209 --> 00:26:41,899
my body, love moving my body and
going for a walk or going for a run.

593
00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:44,419
And tell me, what is
it that you like about

594
00:26:44,419 --> 00:26:45,199
journaling?

595
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:48,620
I think it's just expressing your
thoughts and, you know, flicking back

596
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,740
on, on the previous pages and previous
weeks and see how far you've come

597
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,919
and you know, how you've been feeling
and why you've been feeling that way.

598
00:26:55,370 --> 00:26:58,290
It's different to talking to, like
you're in your own little space with

599
00:26:58,290 --> 00:27:01,320
your book and your pen, your phone's
not with you or your laptop's not with

600
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,850
you and you can sort of get down how
you're honestly and really feeling.

601
00:27:04,350 --> 00:27:06,650
And I just, I like handwriting
too, my handwriting is not that

602
00:27:06,830 --> 00:27:09,850
neat, but I love just getting
things down on a piece of paper.

603
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,110
It is a beautiful experience, isn't it?

604
00:27:12,140 --> 00:27:17,469
When you can actually see something and
it kind of flows out of you onto paper

605
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:22,450
and it's kind of there and it's no longer
kind of being held in the actual body.

606
00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:24,530
For sure, you just feel like you've
got the monkey coming off your

607
00:27:24,530 --> 00:27:27,470
back and spend so much time on your
laptop and on your phone and on

608
00:27:27,470 --> 00:27:28,770
social media and texting people.

609
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:31,915
So it's nice to, you know, put those
aside and, Spend some time thinking

610
00:27:31,975 --> 00:27:34,385
on yourself and getting those
thoughts down on a piece of paper.

611
00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:36,795
And how long have you been journaling for?

612
00:27:37,165 --> 00:27:38,995
Uh, roughly about six
months, so not too long.

613
00:27:39,474 --> 00:27:44,175
But still, that's enough to
actually look back and reflect.

614
00:27:44,495 --> 00:27:44,845
Yeah.

615
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:46,005
It's definitely enough.

616
00:27:46,005 --> 00:27:46,915
I wish I did it earlier.

617
00:27:47,115 --> 00:27:49,335
I know my mum and my dad
have sort of started writing.

618
00:27:49,879 --> 00:27:53,149
Their own like autobiography, which
is something that I want to do.

619
00:27:53,199 --> 00:27:56,639
Cause yeah, dad always said like
when his dad passed away, his dad had

620
00:27:56,669 --> 00:28:00,260
amazing stories that he always used
to tell, but dad has forgotten them.

621
00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:01,920
So I'd love to, you know, my kids.

622
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,820
When I pass eventually, which is
hopefully a few years down the

623
00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:07,400
track, but they can pick up my book
and say what I've gone through and

624
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,750
how I got through those challenges.

625
00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:09,190
Yeah.

626
00:28:09,190 --> 00:28:10,110
That's amazing.

627
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:16,040
And as you mentioned, you all started
off as sort of 2021 and probably

628
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,160
single at that stage I'm assuming.

629
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,560
And now you've got partners.

630
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:23,410
That's an evolution in itself.

631
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:26,240
How has that evolved with speak and share?

632
00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:27,240
Yeah.

633
00:28:27,450 --> 00:28:29,990
Nath had his girlfriend, Maddie,
which he still has now at that time.

634
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,990
Mace was single, still is single.

635
00:28:32,990 --> 00:28:35,940
I was single and now have a
partner and a house and a dog.

636
00:28:35,940 --> 00:28:38,270
So my life has definitely changed.

637
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,040
Yeah, there's a bit going on.

638
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,640
So I bought a house in January, um, which
has been awesome with my partner Tegan.

639
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:43,779
But.

640
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:47,740
Yeah, it has been a challenge running your
own business is incredibly taxing and I

641
00:28:47,740 --> 00:28:51,049
struggle sort of switching off from the
business and, you know, getting home and

642
00:28:51,049 --> 00:28:54,439
purely switching off and spending quality
time with my partner, but that's yeah,

643
00:28:54,439 --> 00:28:59,009
an ongoing battle, but yeah, maturity
levels have definitely changed since we

644
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:00,679
got off the plane to Darwin, we got home.

645
00:29:00,679 --> 00:29:01,479
I can tell you that much.

646
00:29:02,024 --> 00:29:05,554
Yeah, I'm sure that the Xbox
doesn't get used any longer.

647
00:29:06,105 --> 00:29:07,304
Nah, PlayStation died.

648
00:29:07,304 --> 00:29:08,794
I don't even have one at my house anymore.

649
00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:09,665
No, I have a TV.

650
00:29:10,574 --> 00:29:13,345
Yeah, I used to spend a fair bit of
time on the PlayStation, but don't

651
00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:15,544
have too much time for that anymore,
which is probably a good thing.

652
00:29:16,014 --> 00:29:17,924
I'm not going to comment, but yeah.

653
00:29:18,494 --> 00:29:20,435
Yeah, they're no good, the PlayStations.

654
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:25,145
Now you talk about everlasting change that
you'd like to see within the community.

655
00:29:25,485 --> 00:29:26,824
What does that look like for you?

656
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:29,485
Yeah, for us, we just want
people that speak and share

657
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:30,764
moving forward into the future.

658
00:29:30,764 --> 00:29:30,995
Sorry.

659
00:29:31,365 --> 00:29:33,935
You know, hopefully we get to a stage
in 20 years when speaking chair doesn't

660
00:29:33,935 --> 00:29:37,004
exist and people will just talk about
their mental health and it's just a

661
00:29:37,004 --> 00:29:38,655
topic that is openly spoken about.

662
00:29:39,024 --> 00:29:41,534
But unfortunately there's a lot of
work that has to be done in the space.

663
00:29:41,554 --> 00:29:44,044
The suicide rates are through the
roof and they're pretty alarming.

664
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,310
And there's a lot of kids at
school that are still struggling.

665
00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:49,650
So yeah, creating the everlasting
changes, you know, the youth coming

666
00:29:49,650 --> 00:29:52,240
through now will hopefully have
kids and they'll be vulnerable with

667
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,360
their kids and get the conversation
started before it is too late.

668
00:29:55,810 --> 00:29:58,720
And we just want to be a preventative
mental health organization.

669
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,539
So getting these conversations started
when the kids are young and educating

670
00:30:01,540 --> 00:30:05,080
them on the strategies, when you start
feeling anxious, this is who you can talk

671
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,800
to, and this is how you can go about it
compared to being a reactive one when

672
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,800
someone's suicidal and they feel like
they can't live their life anymore.

673
00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:14,000
So just getting these
conversations started.

674
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:14,070
So.

675
00:30:14,685 --> 00:30:17,635
The youth starts talking about it,
they'll grow up, continue talking about

676
00:30:17,635 --> 00:30:20,665
it, have their own kids and, you know,
push to speak and share messages on

677
00:30:20,665 --> 00:30:21,855
their own kids once they have kids.

678
00:30:22,145 --> 00:30:26,475
And when we're thinking about the
change that you're facilitating in

679
00:30:26,475 --> 00:30:31,325
those generations, have you started
thinking about, or are you already

680
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:36,695
measuring your metrics about who
you're talking to, what the impact is?

681
00:30:37,005 --> 00:30:37,525
Yeah, yeah.

682
00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:39,395
So through the social media
stuff, we get analytics.

683
00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:40,210
from all our posts.

684
00:30:40,220 --> 00:30:42,560
So we can see, you know, how many people
have shared it, how many people have

685
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,200
liked it, commented on it, et cetera.

686
00:30:44,430 --> 00:30:47,630
And then through our programs, we
have a program survey feedback form,

687
00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:49,090
which participants will fill out.

688
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:51,169
So that's got eight to
nine questions on it.

689
00:30:51,389 --> 00:30:52,779
Sort of, how did you feel walking in?

690
00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:53,910
How did you feel walking out?

691
00:30:53,910 --> 00:30:55,709
Do you feel more comfortable
speaking and sharing?

692
00:30:56,069 --> 00:30:58,140
Would you now be confident
seeing a psychologist?

693
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,830
And the feedback that we're getting
from the programs has been awesome.

694
00:31:00,830 --> 00:31:04,315
So Yeah, the work we're doing is
working, which is really cool to see.

695
00:31:04,825 --> 00:31:06,015
Yeah, that's fantastic.

696
00:31:06,505 --> 00:31:09,705
So Ben, have you done anything
to prepare for your own death?

697
00:31:10,275 --> 00:31:11,095
For my own death?

698
00:31:11,305 --> 00:31:13,395
That is a scary question.

699
00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,104
I don't like thinking about death.

700
00:31:15,105 --> 00:31:18,005
It sort of streaks me out thinking
about, you know, your life ending.

701
00:31:18,035 --> 00:31:20,254
I haven't done anything to
prepare for my own death.

702
00:31:20,314 --> 00:31:21,664
I'm still 25, so.

703
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:23,635
What's the average average age now?

704
00:31:23,635 --> 00:31:24,070
Is it 80?

705
00:31:24,265 --> 00:31:25,345
80 something, 70 something?

706
00:31:25,345 --> 00:31:28,195
Yes, but hopefully I
still have 50 years left.

707
00:31:28,195 --> 00:31:31,405
But no, I haven't done, haven't done
anything to prepare for my own death.

708
00:31:31,405 --> 00:31:32,125
I probably should.

709
00:31:32,365 --> 00:31:34,735
I don't have too much money in my own
account, so there's not too much to be

710
00:31:34,735 --> 00:31:36,355
spread to my partners and my siblings.

711
00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:38,305
But yeah, it's probably
something I need to look into.

712
00:31:38,455 --> 00:31:39,985
Did you just say you had a mortgage?

713
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:41,730
And a dog.

714
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,390
I do.

715
00:31:42,390 --> 00:31:42,780
Yeah.

716
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,100
Yeah.

717
00:31:43,130 --> 00:31:46,400
So the dog, I'd assume that my
partner Tegan would take that.

718
00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:49,179
I might have to put that in writing and
then the house, she can obviously have

719
00:31:49,179 --> 00:31:52,070
the house and then I don't have too much
money left over in the account after

720
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,909
that so they can go to my brothers or
my sisters, but yeah, it's probably,

721
00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:56,750
probably something that I should

722
00:31:58,025 --> 00:32:02,015
And something that always surprises
me since I've been following

723
00:32:02,025 --> 00:32:08,235
you has been your campaigns and
social media, how do you use that?

724
00:32:08,485 --> 00:32:11,245
And obviously that's been key in growing.

725
00:32:11,565 --> 00:32:13,145
Yeah, I think we're pretty lucky.

726
00:32:13,195 --> 00:32:16,004
We started the, the Instagram
platform during the COVID lockdown.

727
00:32:16,005 --> 00:32:19,515
So kids and most people in
the community were spending a

728
00:32:19,515 --> 00:32:20,525
lot of time on their phones.

729
00:32:20,535 --> 00:32:20,775
So.

730
00:32:21,225 --> 00:32:25,135
really capitalized on that and
made some engaging and humorous

731
00:32:25,165 --> 00:32:26,425
content, which people enjoyed.

732
00:32:26,425 --> 00:32:28,945
And I think it's just attraction
that you get from social media.

733
00:32:28,945 --> 00:32:31,655
Like we have a lot of people around the
country that are following us that like

734
00:32:31,655 --> 00:32:36,685
our message and you know, we can tap into
networks that we can't present to as of

735
00:32:36,685 --> 00:32:40,164
yet and just creates an online community
where people feel valued and a part

736
00:32:40,165 --> 00:32:41,715
of the journey, which is really cool.

737
00:32:42,055 --> 00:32:45,445
But then there seems to
be almost like a favor.

738
00:32:46,205 --> 00:32:49,795
When your items of
merchandise get released.

739
00:32:50,175 --> 00:32:50,445
Yeah.

740
00:32:50,445 --> 00:32:50,655
Yeah.

741
00:32:50,655 --> 00:32:53,015
So we like to use like
a hot model it's called.

742
00:32:53,015 --> 00:32:57,114
So what we usually do is, as I said
before, I drop usually once a month.

743
00:32:57,154 --> 00:33:01,175
So we'll dedicate a hoodie to someone
in their story and then sell X amount

744
00:33:01,175 --> 00:33:02,425
of hoodies, which usually sell out.

745
00:33:02,425 --> 00:33:05,954
And then the side of this year we created
a core range because there were too

746
00:33:05,954 --> 00:33:09,274
many people that were frustrated with
constantly missing out on the hoodies.

747
00:33:09,275 --> 00:33:09,295
So.

748
00:33:09,735 --> 00:33:12,295
We created a core range,
which is also now sold out,

749
00:33:12,295 --> 00:33:13,555
unfortunately, but it's coming back.

750
00:33:13,715 --> 00:33:16,415
We can jump on and grab a
hoodie or a t shirt or a hat and

751
00:33:16,475 --> 00:33:17,485
feel a part of the community.

752
00:33:17,485 --> 00:33:20,405
But yeah, it's something that we've
struggled with keeping up with the demand.

753
00:33:20,585 --> 00:33:23,845
When we started Speak Share, we
chipped in a bit of money each.

754
00:33:23,845 --> 00:33:27,364
I think it was like two grand and sort
of, you know, trying to grow that and

755
00:33:27,364 --> 00:33:30,955
flip it over and create more hoodies
and diversify the range of the products.

756
00:33:30,955 --> 00:33:35,225
But yeah, keeping up with the hype
and the demand for the products has

757
00:33:35,225 --> 00:33:37,575
been really hard, which has been
really overwhelming, to be honest.

758
00:33:38,230 --> 00:33:41,520
Yeah, you've created your
own worst enemy to a degree.

759
00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:42,850
Yeah, definitely.

760
00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:45,270
I know there's a few parents that we
used to teach their kids that aren't

761
00:33:45,310 --> 00:33:47,659
too happy, especially in the first
year and a half, they kept missing

762
00:33:47,659 --> 00:33:50,150
out on the hoodies, but we're trying,
we're trying to keep up with the demand

763
00:33:50,150 --> 00:33:53,180
at the same time from a
marketing perspective.

764
00:33:53,380 --> 00:33:54,390
It's just brilliant.

765
00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:55,100
Yeah.

766
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,729
It's pretty true to have, I don't know
how long the hike will keep going.

767
00:33:57,729 --> 00:34:00,480
Hopefully 20 years, but
we'll have to wait and see.

768
00:34:00,980 --> 00:34:04,044
And looking towards those next 20 years.

769
00:34:04,425 --> 00:34:05,755
Tell me, what do you see?

770
00:34:06,255 --> 00:34:07,175
Yeah, it's a tough question.

771
00:34:07,305 --> 00:34:10,035
We want to be one of the most
impactful mental health preventative

772
00:34:10,035 --> 00:34:11,255
organizations in the country.

773
00:34:11,555 --> 00:34:13,714
So we want to see our programs nationwide.

774
00:34:13,715 --> 00:34:16,755
We want to have a diverse range
of sort of program offerings.

775
00:34:16,755 --> 00:34:19,695
I want to get into the primary space,
which we're not yet working in.

776
00:34:20,095 --> 00:34:23,634
Want our community events to be
nationwide and hopefully globally one day.

777
00:34:23,635 --> 00:34:26,600
We have a lot of people in America
that following our message.

778
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,790
So we just want everyone speaking
and sharing and um, growing our

779
00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:31,900
message to as far and wide as we can.

780
00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:35,399
And do you need financial
support to make that happen?

781
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,309
Like, what do you need in the
next two years to start taking

782
00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:41,219
you where you want to go?

783
00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:44,229
Yeah, financial support
is obviously a huge thing.

784
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,140
So it definitely capped us in the
first two ish years, but now I've

785
00:34:47,140 --> 00:34:48,610
got a couple of philanthropic groups.

786
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,770
And large donors, which had been
awesome and helped us, you know,

787
00:34:51,830 --> 00:34:53,170
grow and spread our message.

788
00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,250
But for us to go to the next
level, we need serious funding.

789
00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:59,299
We've caught up with a range of
politicians who sort of promised

790
00:34:59,299 --> 00:35:01,889
the world, and we haven't really got
any government funding as of yet.

791
00:35:01,890 --> 00:35:04,709
We've had one small grant, which
I think was about 10 grand for a

792
00:35:04,709 --> 00:35:05,809
movement club we wanted to run.

793
00:35:05,809 --> 00:35:09,360
But yeah, to speak and share, to get
towards where we want it to get, we

794
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,550
need quite a serious amount of funding.

795
00:35:11,550 --> 00:35:11,610
So.

796
00:35:12,145 --> 00:35:14,285
Hopefully we get there, but
we'll just have to wait and see.

797
00:35:14,765 --> 00:35:17,935
So when you say serious amount of
funding, what would that be for you?

798
00:35:18,435 --> 00:35:18,775
Yeah.

799
00:35:18,775 --> 00:35:23,724
So for next year, I think we'll
need, I think our revenue will be

800
00:35:23,864 --> 00:35:25,564
one, I think it's just over one mil.

801
00:35:25,565 --> 00:35:26,394
So 1.

802
00:35:26,395 --> 00:35:28,854
1 and our expenditure through our program.

803
00:35:28,864 --> 00:35:32,625
So we want to get to a stage where
our programs are fully subsidized.

804
00:35:32,635 --> 00:35:35,015
So they're pretty much for free
for schools and sporting clubs.

805
00:35:35,375 --> 00:35:37,835
And for that, we'd need
roughly around 900 K.

806
00:35:37,835 --> 00:35:37,945
So.

807
00:35:38,465 --> 00:35:41,285
It's a lot of money, but yeah, working
with philanthropic groups, I think

808
00:35:41,285 --> 00:35:44,415
we'll be able to get, you know, that
sort of money into the system so we

809
00:35:44,415 --> 00:35:47,485
can then go and run these programs for
schools and sporting clubs that need it.

810
00:35:47,695 --> 00:35:51,874
And have you been partnering with
these existing organizations as well?

811
00:35:52,395 --> 00:35:53,244
Yeah, we've done a fair bit.

812
00:35:53,244 --> 00:35:56,035
So I've done a lot with Headspace in
Frankston who have been a huge support.

813
00:35:56,425 --> 00:35:59,335
We've got a couple of mates that are up
on Queen in Queensland that run their

814
00:35:59,335 --> 00:36:01,535
own sort of mental health organization.

815
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,085
So one's called the Good Human Factory.

816
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,350
He's a pro ex surfer, so Krupa
Chapman, he's an awesome guy, and

817
00:36:06,630 --> 00:36:09,420
I've caught up with a range of others
just to sort of pick their brains

818
00:36:09,450 --> 00:36:12,609
and see how they go about things, and
especially in the school space, how

819
00:36:12,609 --> 00:36:16,389
they go about program bookings and
facilitators and all that sort of stuff.

820
00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:19,409
I think there definitely needs to be
more collaboration within the space.

821
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,820
It's sad, but it feels like people are
almost competing against each other,

822
00:36:23,190 --> 00:36:24,520
where it shouldn't be a competition.

823
00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:27,340
You know, we're all sort of working
towards the same goal of either

824
00:36:27,340 --> 00:36:30,210
lowering suicide statistics or
getting people speaking and sharing.

825
00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:33,399
So it's definitely something that
we have realized is that it's

826
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,900
almost like a competition in the
mental health space, which is sad.

827
00:36:36,299 --> 00:36:38,470
And yet we're more than happy
to collaborate with whoever.

828
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,560
We just want more people talking
about their mental health

829
00:36:40,870 --> 00:36:42,210
and looking after themselves.

830
00:36:42,695 --> 00:36:43,305
Yeah.

831
00:36:43,855 --> 00:36:47,675
And tell me, do you have any
further advice that you'd like to

832
00:36:47,675 --> 00:36:51,235
actually impart, you know, share?

833
00:36:51,745 --> 00:36:54,155
Yeah, I think the biggest thing is just
checking with the people around you.

834
00:36:54,305 --> 00:36:56,215
So everyone's got the happy
friend, the sad friend.

835
00:36:56,225 --> 00:36:58,555
There's a range of friends that I'm
sure people have in their social

836
00:36:58,555 --> 00:37:00,174
group or your kids or your parents.

837
00:37:00,285 --> 00:37:01,524
Just that constant check in.

838
00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:03,074
People vary from day to day.

839
00:37:03,084 --> 00:37:05,715
Some people might have a great day and the
next day they might not be feeling great.

840
00:37:05,715 --> 00:37:09,905
So just that constant check in and as I
said before, honesty is the best policy.

841
00:37:09,915 --> 00:37:11,794
So if you notice that, you
know, one of your friends or

842
00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:12,724
your parents or your family.

843
00:37:13,035 --> 00:37:15,805
Your kids have been struggling, maybe
just ask a question and be honest with

844
00:37:15,805 --> 00:37:18,835
them and show your vulnerabilities too
because a lot of people respect that.

845
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:21,904
And how can people donate
to what you're doing Ben?

846
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:23,310
Yeah, through the website.

847
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,410
So www.

848
00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:25,030
speakandshare.

849
00:37:25,050 --> 00:37:28,890
com there's a donate button and then
we can provide you with the DGR status

850
00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:30,940
receipt so you can claim it back on tax.

851
00:37:30,990 --> 00:37:33,560
And if you're not following our
Instagram, jump onto the Instagram,

852
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,870
it's speak double underscore share,
post a lot of content through there

853
00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,100
and updates on programs and events too.

854
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:39,810
Yeah.

855
00:37:39,810 --> 00:37:42,100
And the stories are really quite moving.

856
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:46,880
So thank you so much for what you
and Mason and Nathan are doing.

857
00:37:47,580 --> 00:37:48,590
Nah, it's an absolute pleasure.

858
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,067
Thank you for having

859
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:51,225
me, Catherine.

860
00:37:51,225 --> 00:37:52,383
Thanks, Ben.

861
00:37:52,383 --> 00:37:56,629
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,

862
00:37:56,940 --> 00:37:58,510
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863
00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:03,059
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864
00:38:03,059 --> 00:38:04,054
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865
00:38:04,055 --> 00:38:05,675
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