Listen now
About this episode
Ever wondered what it's like to plan a funeral in a golf course or use a combi van as a hearse?
Today, we're peeking into the world of personalised farewells with Mon Jones, a funeral director at The Last Hurrah.
Mon's journey into the funeral industry was unexpected, but it's clear she's found her calling. The Last Hurrah isn't your average funeral home - it's a family affair that's reimagining how we say goodbye to our loved ones. From cardboard coffins that families can decorate together to funerals held in unconventional venues, Mon and her team are breaking the mould of traditional services.
What sets The Last Hurrah apart is their commitment to truly personalised farewells. Mon shared fascinating insights into their process, from the initial family meeting to the final ceremony. It's not just about ticking boxes; it's about listening intently to every story, every throwaway comment, and weaving these details into a ceremony that genuinely reflects the person who has died.
Show notes
Guest Bio
Funeral Director at The Last Hurrah Funerals
Today we have Funeral Director and doer of many great things Mon Jones with us. She is a Funeral Director at The Last Hurrah.
The Last Hurrah’s mission is simple: First, to offer reasonably priced funerals and uniquely personal farewells and end of life rituals that reflect each individual’s authentic original self. Second, to offer a gentle and secure circle of support to those grieving a loss.
Mon joined The Last Hurrah in 2023, drawn to the ethics of their model of care and community. She is Nastassia’s sister and shares the same values, Mon is driven by those values to support whanau in times of grief.
Mon has many years of experience working in hospitality and values helping people as they navigate difficult times. An organisational expert, she also has extensive experience as a logistician with a Diploma in International Freight Forwarding, so she brings attention to detail, ensuring funerals are planned with care.
A career creative, Mon studied jazz piano. She is the founder of Butterjoy Kitchen – a catering business that honours the classic antipodean celebration good. A food adventurer, Mon has walked the Camino de Santiago and travelled extensively across South East Asia, revelling in new flavours and foods. She is currently learning Thai to further this passion.
Summary
Key Takeaways:
- The importance of slowing down the funeral planning process - there's often more time than families realise
- How The Last Hurrah incorporates children into the funeral process, including decorating coffins and creating quiet spaces at services
- The value of transparency in pricing and offering affordable options like cardboard coffins
- Creative ways to personalise funerals, from unconventional venues to unique rituals
- The annual tree planting event that keeps families connected long after the funeral
Mon's advice for families facing a loss is simple yet powerful: take a breath, slow down, and remember that there's no 'right' way to do this. It's about creating a farewell that feels true to your loved one and helps you begin your grief journey.
Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.
Take care,
Catherine
Transcript
1
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:05,130
A lot of people apologize to
me for not knowing what to do.
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,390
Okay, what do you know what to do?
3
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:10,920
Like, hopefully you haven't done
many of these before, and most often
4
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,659
it's the first time, and that's fine.
5
00:00:12,749 --> 00:00:13,779
That's what we're here for.
6
00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:17,579
So I'd say don't f ... Read More
1
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:05,130
A lot of people apologize to
me for not knowing what to do.
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,390
Okay, what do you know what to do?
3
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:10,920
Like, hopefully you haven't done
many of these before, and most often
4
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,659
it's the first time, and that's fine.
5
00:00:12,749 --> 00:00:13,779
That's what we're here for.
6
00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:17,579
So I'd say don't feel bad about not
knowing what to do or not knowing the
7
00:00:17,579 --> 00:00:18,449
process, because you'll get there.
8
00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:19,170
How would you?
9
00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:26,520
Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead, a
podcast encouraging open conversations
10
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,940
about dying and the death of a loved one.
11
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:34,429
I'm your host, Catherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to
12
00:00:34,429 --> 00:00:36,780
bring your stories of death back to life.
13
00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:41,710
Because while you may not be ready
to die, at least you can be prepared.
14
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,290
Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations
15
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:52,120
and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.
16
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:56,935
We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend
17
00:00:56,935 --> 00:01:00,405
that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First
18
00:01:00,405 --> 00:01:02,045
Nation peoples around the globe.
19
00:01:04,885 --> 00:01:09,285
Today we have Funeral Director and
doer of many great things, Mon Jones.
20
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,120
She is the Funeral Director
at The Last Hurrah.
21
00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:15,670
The Last Hurrah's mission is simple.
22
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:22,080
First, to offer reasonably priced
funerals and uniquely personal farewells,
23
00:01:22,269 --> 00:01:27,070
an end of life ritual that reflects
each individual's authentic self.
24
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,580
Second, is to offer a gentle
and secure circle of support
25
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,650
to those grieving a loss.
26
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,640
Thanks for being with us, Mon.
27
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,330
Thanks for having me.
28
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,430
That was a very
29
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,400
Accurate summary, I think.
30
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,950
Now, most funeral homes are a family
affair, and it seems like The Last
31
00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:50,400
Hurrah is also becoming a family affair.
32
00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:54,640
Tell me, what motivated you to
start working at The Last Hurrah?
33
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:55,420
It was
34
00:01:55,570 --> 00:02:02,449
really just a perfect storm of
coincidence and timing and opportunity.
35
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:05,120
It was not on the cards for me.
36
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,630
It wasn't on my radar.
37
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:11,760
If you'd asked me 12 months ago, if I
would be doing this now, I'd laugh it off.
38
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:16,439
But yeah, it was just a moment in
time where I happened to be looking
39
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,760
for a different line of work.
40
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,650
They needed someone.
41
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,879
There were a few stop gaps
that I filled in the interim.
42
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,190
And then it just sort of evolved
into me becoming part of furniture.
43
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,800
So yeah, it was just, it was
a really natural progression.
44
00:02:29,829 --> 00:02:32,610
And yeah, I don't know, happenstance.
45
00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:37,435
Faked, if you believe in fate, but yeah,
I'm, I'm certainly very grateful for the
46
00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:39,455
opportunity and loving every minute of it.
47
00:02:39,565 --> 00:02:40,085
And so
48
00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:46,845
your sister is Daz Jones, she's the co
founder with Kimber of Blast Hurrah.
49
00:02:47,414 --> 00:02:50,514
And I believe there's also
extended family involved.
50
00:02:51,075 --> 00:02:51,495
Yes.
51
00:02:51,535 --> 00:02:51,825
Yeah.
52
00:02:51,825 --> 00:02:53,084
Our cousin Chelsea also
53
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,644
has come on board.
54
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,105
Fantastic.
55
00:02:56,615 --> 00:03:00,995
She was moving over from New Zealand
and again, just, there was a gap that
56
00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:04,685
needed to be filled and she came on
and yeah, it's, it's going really well.
57
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:05,574
That's great.
58
00:03:06,095 --> 00:03:09,584
And tell me, obviously you're
from New Zealand, if people
59
00:03:09,585 --> 00:03:11,075
haven't picked up your accent.
60
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:11,505
North.
61
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:11,645
Yep.
62
00:03:11,804 --> 00:03:13,345
Uh, whereabouts are you from?
63
00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:14,205
Top of the South.
64
00:03:14,425 --> 00:03:14,935
Lovely.
65
00:03:15,515 --> 00:03:22,015
And with your heritage, when you think
about the ethos of what's going on, Last
66
00:03:22,015 --> 00:03:27,095
Haras stands for and what Kimber and
staff have created and you're adding to
67
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:33,185
is that deep connection with community
and do you believe that that's actually
68
00:03:33,185 --> 00:03:38,915
coming from perhaps your heritage and
your background and how you Value family.
69
00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:42,515
So I think it's Fano that
you actually refer to it.
70
00:03:42,535 --> 00:03:49,275
Yeah, I think I mean, the, the, the term
whānau means family, and I think in a
71
00:03:49,285 --> 00:03:55,225
funeral context, being from New Zealand,
being exposed to sort of Māori funeral
72
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,825
culture, I think what Starrs and Kimber
are trying to sort of bring into people's
73
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:03,265
lives here is more of a home funeral,
or bringing funeral into the home.
74
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:07,860
And extending that to sort of
demystifying it and having a bit more
75
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:11,640
control over the process, slowing
down of the process, being with
76
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,020
your person after they have died.
77
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,110
So there's sort of that element of it.
78
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,729
I think it's really what we're trying
to do in a way, make it a little bit
79
00:04:19,729 --> 00:04:23,240
more hands on and a little bit less
sort of disconnected and something
80
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,660
that a funeral director sort of
takes away and does on their own and
81
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,580
making families part of the process.
82
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:32,010
So bringing people into the
process, I suppose, is what we try
83
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:32,359
and do.
84
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:37,500
And from what I've seen of, just really
through your social posts, has been
85
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:43,169
that you seem to celebrate family
in all forms and regardless of what
86
00:04:43,209 --> 00:04:46,429
that is conventionally defined as.
87
00:04:46,939 --> 00:04:51,910
Do you want to tell me a little bit
about how you work with the loved ones
88
00:04:51,930 --> 00:04:56,100
when someone has died and how do you
go through the process of making sure
89
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,190
that, that family is at the centre?
90
00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:58,250
Yeah.
91
00:04:58,575 --> 00:05:02,294
But that's a really good question
because there's sort of a legal element
92
00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:06,085
to family and who organises funeral,
who's the official next of kin.
93
00:05:06,704 --> 00:05:11,484
And we try and sort of open
that circle up a little bit.
94
00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:15,354
So it's really, there's often not
just one person who is the official
95
00:05:15,354 --> 00:05:18,875
next of kin dealing with and
going through the funeral process.
96
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:23,305
So it's not unusual for us to have an
arrangement with sort of three full
97
00:05:23,305 --> 00:05:28,135
blown 10, 15 people involved and all
bringing their ideas to the table.
98
00:05:28,205 --> 00:05:32,344
You know, I often sit in an arrangement
with families who have sort of six kids.
99
00:05:32,705 --> 00:05:36,989
And I mean, They can all have different
ideas about what they like and all
100
00:05:36,989 --> 00:05:41,039
of those different things and try and
come together and create something that
101
00:05:41,219 --> 00:05:45,279
everyone's happy with, doesn't always
work, but that's certainly the goal.
102
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:49,259
So sort of extending those
options to, to the wider family.
103
00:05:49,785 --> 00:05:55,825
And I've had conversations with other
funeral directors, and they certainly say
104
00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:58,535
the same things that you're saying to me.
105
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:02,694
But I think, what would you think
would be the point of difference
106
00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:07,155
with, you know, I suppose, let's be
honest, you guys seem to be going a lot
107
00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:09,264
further with accommodating requests.
108
00:06:09,965 --> 00:06:15,765
Not everyone would consider some, having
a, The tote as a venue as something that
109
00:06:15,765 --> 00:06:18,974
would be a conventional part of a funeral.
110
00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:25,215
So it seems to be that your brief
or your ability to accommodate
111
00:06:25,215 --> 00:06:29,085
requests is a lot larger scope
than most are normally used to.
112
00:06:29,609 --> 00:06:30,130
Yeah,
113
00:06:30,309 --> 00:06:36,489
I think one of the things we're quite
good at is sitting and listening to all
114
00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:39,849
of the different things that people are
saying about their person, you know, it
115
00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:44,139
can be anything on, you know, dad worked
at a golf course for years and years
116
00:06:44,139 --> 00:06:45,859
and the golf club was his entire life.
117
00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:51,755
And so that could be a throwaway
comment that someone makes, but in
118
00:06:51,755 --> 00:06:54,755
our mind, we're sitting there going,
Oh, maybe a golf course would be a
119
00:06:54,755 --> 00:06:56,144
really good venue for this funeral.
120
00:06:56,155 --> 00:07:00,165
Or maybe we could hand out golf
balls as everyone walks in or,
121
00:07:00,195 --> 00:07:04,295
you know, we integrate that into
different parts of the ceremony.
122
00:07:04,295 --> 00:07:09,185
So I think we're just naturally quite
good at picking up all of those, you
123
00:07:09,185 --> 00:07:13,440
know, throw away comments about a
person and sort of thinking, well, if
124
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,219
this was a really big part of their
life, let's say the toke, for example,
125
00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:18,349
or they went to the toke all the time.
126
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,599
It was their favorite place on earth.
127
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:22,379
Okay, why don't we try and
have the funeral there?
128
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:27,369
Or a really good example recently
was a gentleman whose wife had died.
129
00:07:27,539 --> 00:07:32,730
He was renovating a combi van and
As we were going through the process
130
00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:36,424
of looking at all the photos and
creating the slideshow, they've,
131
00:07:36,565 --> 00:07:39,414
they've traveled all over Europe in
a Kombi, you know, their whole life.
132
00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:42,914
So, you know, why don't we try
and use a Kombi as the hearse?
133
00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:46,474
And that conversation was, Oh my
God, we're renovating a hearse.
134
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:47,694
Maybe we can use this.
135
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:52,075
Turns out it wasn't roadworthy, but we
got there in the end at the last minute.
136
00:07:52,135 --> 00:07:56,765
But all of those little throwaway
comments, I think we are constantly
137
00:07:57,054 --> 00:08:02,099
trying to grab and think how can
we Make this more about them.
138
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:03,409
That makes sense.
139
00:08:03,419 --> 00:08:07,730
So if all of those little personal
items that just, you know, come out
140
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:11,249
when you're having a conversation with
someone about someone they love, all
141
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:16,200
those little things matter and because I
write ceremonies, so I'm always searching
142
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,959
for those little things that are going
to make it more about that person.
143
00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:24,680
And can you give us a little bit of
an insight about your backgrounds,
144
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:30,190
because is it that diversity that
allows you to then look at things
145
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,820
with a little bit more innovation?
146
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,840
So I know yours is in food.
147
00:08:35,455 --> 00:08:40,125
Yeah, well, originally in food and then
I worked in logistics for a lot of years.
148
00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:44,585
I think my background is
really an organizational role.
149
00:08:44,665 --> 00:08:50,534
So I'm a highly organized person and I
can, you know, schedule very well and I'm.
150
00:08:50,874 --> 00:08:53,665
pathologically early to
everything, so that's great.
151
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:58,365
I think the other thing that
sort of helps is I don't come
152
00:08:58,365 --> 00:08:59,555
from any other funeral home.
153
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:00,555
I've never worked anywhere else.
154
00:09:00,565 --> 00:09:04,894
I don't have any preconceived ideas
about what a funeral should look like.
155
00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:09,965
And the only funeral company I
know is the L'Ostera, so this
156
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:11,465
all feels very normal to me.
157
00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:13,485
I don't really have
anything to compare it to.
158
00:09:13,885 --> 00:09:19,869
So I guess I just, you know, Being a good
people person and a good listener and an
159
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:24,139
attention to detail sort of person, you
know, listening all the time, picking
160
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:27,359
up on little quirks and little nuances
and thinking about how I can sort of
161
00:09:27,669 --> 00:09:29,449
weave that into a funeral ceremony.
162
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:33,499
And I'm just really lucky that
I work somewhere that basically
163
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,799
anything's on the table.
164
00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:39,299
There's limits, you know, we operate
if, as long as it's within the law,
165
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:42,969
you know, we'll give it a go, but
that support and freedom is there.
166
00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:46,290
So I'm really very grateful for
that because that's quite rare.
167
00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:47,385
It is.
168
00:09:47,405 --> 00:09:51,555
And tell me, can you talk me through
the process when you're sitting with a
169
00:09:51,555 --> 00:09:56,715
family and how you craft, like I know
you were just saying you're listening to
170
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,825
certain tidbits that they actually drop.
171
00:09:59,085 --> 00:10:04,264
How do you craft that ability to
hold space as a funeral director
172
00:10:04,825 --> 00:10:07,135
and say the appropriate things?
173
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:11,515
Well, I probably don't always
say the appropriate things.
174
00:10:11,575 --> 00:10:12,745
I'm sure I've dropped some clangers.
175
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,400
Often how I'll start is, you know, we,
I invite them into the space if, if
176
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,540
they're coming into our space, if I'm
going into their home, you know, it's
177
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:24,150
a little bit different, but you know,
sit down, can I get you a glass of wine?
178
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:25,440
Would you like a cup of tea?
179
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,659
We've got a couple of cats in the
office, so they're usually lurking
180
00:10:28,659 --> 00:10:33,209
around and all of those little
things work to put people at ease.
181
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:35,304
You know, if you're going to
someone's home now, that's great.
182
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:36,345
They're in their own space.
183
00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:38,195
So there is, that eases
there straight away.
184
00:10:38,195 --> 00:10:40,745
But when they're coming into our
space, that's sort of how I do it.
185
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:46,305
Often the first thing I say to a family
is, right, hit me with your ideas,
186
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:51,325
dreams, things you hate, things you love
about what you want the ceremony to be.
187
00:10:51,604 --> 00:10:54,405
And that is a very open ended question.
188
00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:57,355
But, you know, I don't think
I've ever had anyone sort of sit
189
00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:58,545
there and not know what to say.
190
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,574
Someone will usually chime in
and be like, Oh, look, good.
191
00:11:02,255 --> 00:11:05,645
I don't know, just, he was
just obsessed with the garden.
192
00:11:05,964 --> 00:11:10,475
Like he was just out there all the
time, you know, he was a great father.
193
00:11:10,515 --> 00:11:11,005
He loved.
194
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,010
Billy Joel and, you know,
all these little things.
195
00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:17,189
And we just want to, most people are
sort of saying things like, we really
196
00:11:17,189 --> 00:11:21,519
want to make sure that this reflects
him in like garden straight away.
197
00:11:21,589 --> 00:11:25,039
I'm thinking, okay, what are
the outdoor venues we've gotten?
198
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:25,320
Okay.
199
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,689
Well, do we have somewhere with
like in a garden sitting, you
200
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,159
know, it just takes off from there.
201
00:11:30,509 --> 00:11:34,810
And I've got a list of things
that I need to run by a family.
202
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:39,740
But I would say it sort of, it comes
out in a different order every time
203
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,350
it's just sort of flows organically.
204
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:46,710
Like I would jump on that garden thing
first because getting a venue confirmed
205
00:11:46,859 --> 00:11:52,369
and locked in is, is really priority
number one because everything else
206
00:11:52,829 --> 00:11:56,860
flows off that and it gives the family
the ability to tell people when and
207
00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:59,490
where the funeral is going to be and
people can start planning accordingly.
208
00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:03,200
So I'd start, you know, thinking,
Oh, you know, I've got these.
209
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:07,150
Great outdoor venues, what part
of town do you want it to be in?
210
00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,220
How many people are you expecting?
211
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:11,810
And that sort of narrows and
narrows and narrows to a venue.
212
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:14,760
And then we sort of get into the
slightly more challenging part of it.
213
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,159
Okay, do you want to
see your person again?
214
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,529
Do you want to spend time with them?
215
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:22,679
That can be in our vigil space, or
it could be in your family home.
216
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,859
We, we also arrange for that to happen.
217
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:30,165
And, you know, usually from there, that
sort of You know, morphs into, would you
218
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:33,494
like to be dressed in, you know, would
you, do you have any special clothing?
219
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:36,854
Are there any kids in the family,
would they maybe want to do some
220
00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:38,415
artwork we can place in the coffin?
221
00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:42,574
And all of these questions
just sort of glow at the time.
222
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,284
And then there's a lot of the
sort of more mundane hospitality,
223
00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:48,355
like food, drink, flowers.
224
00:12:48,864 --> 00:12:50,224
Seating, you know, all that sort of stuff.
225
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,614
But for me, that sort of comes at the end.
226
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:56,255
I'm always asking, you know, have you
got people out of town or overseas that
227
00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,625
might want to be involved in a funeral?
228
00:12:58,005 --> 00:12:59,425
Would you like us to live stream it?
229
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,834
It generally goes for an hour,
sometimes less, sometimes more.
230
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:07,655
But the first half of it is
really me just asking questions.
231
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:08,884
What do you want this to look like?
232
00:13:09,295 --> 00:13:12,675
What do you want people to feel
when they come and send off?
233
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:18,990
The person you love, what is important for
us on your behalf to try and convey about
234
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,990
this person to the people in the room?
235
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:26,139
You know, are there any fears or
worries, you know, all of those things
236
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,779
just build and build until you sort of
get to the pointy end and you're like,
237
00:13:29,779 --> 00:13:33,520
okay, well, pretty confident we'll
use either this, this or this venue.
238
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,990
They might really like a
particular kind of food.
239
00:13:37,455 --> 00:13:39,375
Mum just obsessed with Thai food.
240
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:41,855
I'm like, so I'm, as soon as someone
would say that, I'd be like, okay,
241
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:45,345
cool, caterers I know are doing
Thai, you know, all of these little
242
00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:47,175
things sort of come into play.
243
00:13:47,195 --> 00:13:52,144
But that's, yeah, I think I start the
arrangement with a very open ended,
244
00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:56,555
basically, what's your dream funeral
look like for the, for your person?
245
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:02,185
And yeah, I get a lot of my, you
know, meat and potatoes from there.
246
00:14:02,704 --> 00:14:07,635
It's a really interesting process
that you invite people to think big
247
00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:11,665
initially, you know, because before
you get caught in the logistics,
248
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:15,954
though, yeah, that's a, that's a really
fascinating technique that you have.
249
00:14:16,074 --> 00:14:19,374
But I do love the fact that you,
you definitely are a logistics woman
250
00:14:19,415 --> 00:14:21,285
when you say, okay, then you, right.
251
00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:22,645
The thing.
252
00:14:22,655 --> 00:14:22,694
Yeah.
253
00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:27,655
Now tell me, where's the importance
that you place on really.
254
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:30,805
getting people to slow the process down.
255
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:32,555
How do you do that?
256
00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:39,195
Because I think traditionally we've been
told to, you know, do it in a certain way.
257
00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:41,905
So how do you encourage
and put people at ease?
258
00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:45,945
I think just generally, because
deaths and funerals are a little bit
259
00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:51,055
mysterious, people don't generally
know how long a person can last.
260
00:14:51,365 --> 00:14:52,775
I mean, their physical being.
261
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:58,354
One of the things that was a big surprise
for me when I first came into this line of
262
00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:02,114
work was just how long a person can wait.
263
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:05,564
You know, it's in a climate
controlled environment and that
264
00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,115
was quite eye opening for me.
265
00:15:07,145 --> 00:15:07,985
And, you know, I've.
266
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:13,240
Stas is my sister, I've been
close ish to, not, not within the
267
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,860
business, but you know, just through
knowing her, how it all works.
268
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,180
But even to me, it was like, Oh
my gosh, you can wait that long?
269
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:24,709
So I don't think many people
realize that they can just wait.
270
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,550
And how long is that, Mon?
271
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:30,015
Well, it's different for everyone.
272
00:15:30,445 --> 00:15:33,755
There's a lot of different factors
that play into the speed of
273
00:15:33,755 --> 00:15:35,505
composition and the circumstances.
274
00:15:35,985 --> 00:15:41,244
And then there's a lot of factors in
terms of the family and what they may or
275
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,314
may not be willing to see or experience.
276
00:15:44,814 --> 00:15:50,104
So, I guess sometimes you can wait
too long as well, you know, from the
277
00:15:50,104 --> 00:15:54,564
time someone dies until the time the
funeral is, it, it's quite a stressful,
278
00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:59,494
full on process for a family and
can be quite a lot of anticipation.
279
00:15:59,504 --> 00:16:02,024
And I know a lot of people sort
of have this, once the funeral's
280
00:16:02,024 --> 00:16:03,584
finished, it's like a, Weight off.
281
00:16:03,624 --> 00:16:05,845
I was like, okay, now I can move on.
282
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:09,725
And that, if you extend that time too
long, sometimes that can extend that
283
00:16:09,975 --> 00:16:12,645
sort of heightened stress period as well.
284
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:15,194
So yeah, how long is that period of time?
285
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,555
It can be a month, can be two weeks.
286
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:22,354
You certainly don't need to get
everything done within seven days.
287
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:26,525
So one thing I find myself saying
often is, you know, you can give
288
00:16:26,525 --> 00:16:27,985
yourself a little bit more time.
289
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:34,274
If someone's passing is sudden and
unexpected, it can just take a few
290
00:16:34,274 --> 00:16:38,265
days for everyone to come back down
to earth a bit and be in a position
291
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:43,324
to, you know, think about flowers and
food and drinks and all of those things
292
00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:45,314
that, you know, down the priority list.
293
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:48,934
But yeah, I've certainly had to
say it on multiple occasions.
294
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,100
Please just give it a few more days.
295
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:54,030
Why don't you just, just
rest and I'll call you in two
296
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,220
days and we'll go from there.
297
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,049
Nothing bad is going to happen if
we just leave it two more days.
298
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:01,229
And what's the response when,
from families and loved ones
299
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,350
when you say that to them?
300
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,299
Relief
301
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:09,240
and a bit of, Oh, okay, like I've
been given permission to just rest
302
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,920
because I think a lot of people.
303
00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:12,535
Quite, I'd probably be the same.
304
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:16,685
Just go into hyper organizational
mode and go, okay, I've got to do
305
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:17,805
this and this and this and this.
306
00:17:17,805 --> 00:17:20,074
And I've got to call the funeral
director and I've got to choose
307
00:17:20,074 --> 00:17:22,415
a coffin and I've got to choose
flowers and blah, blah, blah.
308
00:17:22,415 --> 00:17:25,875
You know, and sometimes that can
be a good thing because it's a nice
309
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,694
distraction from your feelings.
310
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:34,404
But I think people need to hear it from
someone else that like, oh, okay, I've
311
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:36,504
been given permission to just slow down.
312
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:40,830
Isn't that interesting that we, we
don't listen to our own bodies because
313
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,230
obviously, especially if it's an
unexpected death, that's that fight or
314
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,130
flight that we automatically go into.
315
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:47,270
Yeah.
316
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,040
We have to actually wait for
someone else to tell us it's
317
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:50,719
okay.
318
00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:54,470
It's very, very interesting.
319
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,759
And if I can take responsibility for
just telling people to slow down,
320
00:17:58,759 --> 00:18:01,589
I'm very happy to do it because
it's, there's, there's no rush.
321
00:18:02,085 --> 00:18:03,605
The worst has happened already.
322
00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:05,264
Yeah.
323
00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:05,774
Yeah.
324
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:09,085
So, you know, it's not going
to get worse from here.
325
00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:10,775
That's very, very true.
326
00:18:10,775 --> 00:18:15,625
And I'm sure, as you said, when you tell
people that they just must be relieved.
327
00:18:15,785 --> 00:18:16,215
Yeah.
328
00:18:16,285 --> 00:18:17,345
Yeah, absolutely.
329
00:18:17,405 --> 00:18:21,645
And too, like nowadays it's almost
rare for everyone to live in the
330
00:18:21,645 --> 00:18:25,145
same city or the same town and in
a family or in a friendship group.
331
00:18:25,665 --> 00:18:30,340
So having a bit of extra time, you
know, okay, well, You know, I'll
332
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:33,880
call Jim, he's in the UK, he's
going to come over for the funeral.
333
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:34,790
When does he have to get here?
334
00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:35,720
But I was like, Oh, cool.
335
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,520
If you've got people coming overseas,
let's just give yourself a few more days.
336
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:41,769
So everyone can get here and,
and do what we need to do.
337
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:46,760
There's also another way we
sort of extend the funeral date.
338
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,550
Two is by having the cremation
first and actually having a
339
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:50,949
memorial instead of the funeral.
340
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,669
So what that basically means
is instead of having the coffin
341
00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,800
present at the funeral, we just have
the ashes on the memorial table.
342
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,679
So, I mean, if you're going down that
route, there is no time restraint.
343
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:06,149
If the cremation's already happened,
you can just have the ashes.
344
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:10,670
The memorial, whenever you're ready,
and we have done that with a year
345
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:15,220
or two years between when someone
has died and that's absolutely fine.
346
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:21,690
There is actually no rush, but that's a
very personal decision and every family
347
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:25,309
is going to make that differently and
there's a million things to weigh up
348
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:29,529
and making that decision, but yeah,
time is there and there's a way of doing
349
00:19:29,529 --> 00:19:30,984
it if that's what you're looking for.
350
00:19:31,425 --> 00:19:36,405
And tell me, I'm fascinated about on your
website, you clearly state your prices.
351
00:19:36,735 --> 00:19:42,985
You also clearly let people know
that you offer a cardboard coffin to
352
00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,855
every person who use your service.
353
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:48,174
Tell me a little bit about
the motivation behind that.
354
00:19:48,285 --> 00:19:52,245
Why have you decided to be
really transparent and then also
355
00:19:52,245 --> 00:19:53,654
offer that cardboard coffin?
356
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:58,715
I think the philosophy of offering
affordable funerals is basically
357
00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:00,044
how the whole thing started.
358
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,745
I know for Starrs and Kimber,
that is something that's
359
00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:04,254
really dear to their heart.
360
00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:11,084
And I won't speak for them, but I would
say it's like number one on the ethos
361
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,555
of when I first started the business.
362
00:20:13,064 --> 00:20:16,105
And I think the funerals
cost a lot of money, right?
363
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:20,195
So, and it's a lot of money to come up
with in a very short amount of time.
364
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:22,485
And it's a huge stress for people.
365
00:20:22,845 --> 00:20:25,415
In an already very stressful situation.
366
00:20:25,415 --> 00:20:30,355
So it's really important to us that people
know exactly what it's going to cost.
367
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:33,665
And it's not going to be any surprises
or hidden extras or anything like
368
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:38,035
that, which is why we have all of our
prices listed on a website like that.
369
00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:38,725
And from.
370
00:20:38,825 --> 00:20:42,355
My first engagement with a family,
when I first send them an email,
371
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:46,585
I include a quote in that, because
I want people to know what they're
372
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:48,255
in for from the very beginning.
373
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:51,945
Usually the first quote I send
has lots of things on it, you
374
00:20:51,945 --> 00:20:53,324
know, optional extras or whatever.
375
00:20:54,195 --> 00:20:55,195
This is how much they are.
376
00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:57,234
You don't have to take
them, but they'll be it.
377
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:59,404
And I want you to know exactly
how much it's going to cost you.
378
00:20:59,404 --> 00:21:04,575
So I think that's just being a good
person, like not giving anyone, A rude
379
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:08,175
shock when they get the bill and, well,
you know, from a business perspective,
380
00:21:08,395 --> 00:21:12,845
people, I think it's just good business,
but they're not to be any surprises.
381
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:16,784
You know, we, we've got a really good
record, you know, we don't have any issues
382
00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:18,054
with people not paying their invoices.
383
00:21:18,095 --> 00:21:19,684
And I, I think that's a big part of it.
384
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:23,775
So there's also that element too, but
I think we just want everyone to have
385
00:21:23,845 --> 00:21:28,575
a nice, respectful funeral that really
reflects the person that they love.
386
00:21:29,165 --> 00:21:34,735
And I know for ourselves, personally,
we had four friends who have died in
387
00:21:34,735 --> 00:21:42,185
the last sort of 18 months who have
had to crowdfund in, or in some way, or
388
00:21:42,504 --> 00:21:46,994
each sort of nominate what part of the
memorial they're paying for, or, you know,
389
00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:50,595
someone's paying for the drinks, someone's
getting the catering, that kind of thing.
390
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:54,385
Is that something that you
commonly see, or have you seen an
391
00:21:54,385 --> 00:21:56,195
increase in that as time's gone on?
392
00:21:56,195 --> 00:21:57,799
Mm I would say there's been an
393
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,559
increase.
394
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,639
I think we've always done it that way.
395
00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,480
And by Done it that way.
396
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,730
I mean, you know, if you want
it potluck or bringing your own
397
00:22:07,730 --> 00:22:09,960
flowers, all of those things, I
398
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,140
love when people do that.
399
00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:12,590
Can you explain the potluck?
400
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,510
Cause not everyone will
be familiar with it.
401
00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:14,810
I love
402
00:22:14,870 --> 00:22:15,390
the term.
403
00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:20,610
Um, so when everyone brings a plate,
so everyone coming to the funeral will
404
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,900
bring something along and instead of
the family having to pay for catering.
405
00:22:24,334 --> 00:22:24,684
Yep.
406
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:25,314
Um.
407
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:28,094
And when we say plate, we're not
literally meaning plate, we're, we're
408
00:22:28,094 --> 00:22:30,094
talking about a dish for people to eat.
409
00:22:30,095 --> 00:22:30,975
A plate
410
00:22:31,074 --> 00:22:31,934
with food on it.
411
00:22:32,144 --> 00:22:32,434
Yeah.
412
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:37,534
Um, and they're, they're the best,
like, hey, the food is just the best
413
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:41,144
at those funerals, but, cause it's all
homemade, but everyone coming to the
414
00:22:41,144 --> 00:22:44,174
funeral feels like they've actually
been able to do something to help.
415
00:22:44,254 --> 00:22:49,960
So, you know, it's like a, I think it's,
Just a really beautiful, loving act to
416
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:55,140
give food to people who are struggling
and, and just the food is just better.
417
00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:59,350
So it's, it's a really nice thing,
but no, we, it's really common
418
00:22:59,350 --> 00:23:02,990
for us to see people all chipping
in and paying for a component.
419
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,570
I've never been asked, but we don't
usually sort of separate the invoice
420
00:23:06,570 --> 00:23:07,720
out to a number of different parties.
421
00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:09,650
People just come together
and figure that out.
422
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,560
Flowers is a really good one because
I often see people who are like,
423
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,720
Oh, I'm going to have to pay.
424
00:23:15,035 --> 00:23:20,915
550 for a casket spray, that's a lot of
money to drop on flowers, and it is, but
425
00:23:20,955 --> 00:23:25,985
you know what, one of the most beautiful
arrangements I've seen was just a pile of
426
00:23:26,025 --> 00:23:31,785
cut gum leaves on top of the casket, and
it cost nothing, like literally just from
427
00:23:32,174 --> 00:23:36,844
off the park, across the road, so you'd
certainly, it don't have to, and I think
428
00:23:36,844 --> 00:23:40,745
this sort of comes back into that, there's
no script you you have to follow, there's
429
00:23:40,745 --> 00:23:44,795
no rules, if you You don't want to spend
it on flowers, you don't have to, but
430
00:23:44,795 --> 00:23:46,325
you can still make it really beautiful.
431
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:48,255
You just have to be a
bit creative about it.
432
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:49,420
Yeah.
433
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:52,970
And, and while we're sort of talking
about the ways in which to be creative,
434
00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:59,820
how have you incorporated ritual into the
different ceremonies that you provide?
435
00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:05,539
It's a really good question because I know
Kim Bob, one of, one of the co founders,
436
00:24:05,539 --> 00:24:09,760
this is really her wheelhouse and it's
never something I gave a lot of thought to
437
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,640
until I started working at The Last Hurrah
and I'm getting more into it and more
438
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:20,600
into it and more impressed surprised that
this wasn't something I'd ever considered
439
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:25,520
before, but just maybe it's like a bit of
a sort of white guilt thing where you're
440
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,290
like, Oh, we don't have our own rituals.
441
00:24:27,290 --> 00:24:30,350
We're just white, but we actually do.
442
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,010
And you know, one of the things we do
in our ceremonies is a candle lighting
443
00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:39,935
ceremony where, We'll speak a little
bit about fire and what it evokes and
444
00:24:39,935 --> 00:24:43,865
how it's been used historically and how
it's been used in ritual historically.
445
00:24:44,325 --> 00:24:47,925
And we invite people up to come and
significant people to come up and light
446
00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:53,455
a candle near the coffin and that sort
of will just But the fire will just be
447
00:24:53,455 --> 00:24:59,715
there throughout the ceremony and just
highlighting what fire has meant over time
448
00:24:59,765 --> 00:25:01,145
and how we're using it in this context.
449
00:25:01,145 --> 00:25:03,915
It's just like a really
simple but lovely thing.
450
00:25:03,985 --> 00:25:07,255
We incorporate silence as a
little bit of a ritual sometimes.
451
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,455
So, you know, sometimes can
be quite a heavy ceremony.
452
00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:14,945
A lot of people are crying
and talking about some really
453
00:25:14,945 --> 00:25:16,085
heavy things in some cases.
454
00:25:16,095 --> 00:25:19,375
And then sometimes we'll just go right,
we're just going to have a moment.
455
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:20,054
It's just.
456
00:25:20,550 --> 00:25:24,440
Reflect and just think about those things
about that person that you really love.
457
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:30,079
And it's a really great kind of circuit
breaker, tension, I suppose, and give
458
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,220
everyone just, just take a breath.
459
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:36,489
Ritual might be too strong a word for
that part of the ceremony, but it's
460
00:25:36,489 --> 00:25:39,010
sort of, it's a bit of a resetting.
461
00:25:39,410 --> 00:25:39,949
And is that something
462
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,730
that you have kind of in your bag
of tricks that if you see and you're
463
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:48,049
reading the room and it's really,
really heavy, do you introduce that?
464
00:25:48,389 --> 00:25:51,129
Or is it something that's already
pre planned with the family?
465
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,570
For me, it's something, it's scripted.
466
00:25:54,189 --> 00:25:54,500
Yep.
467
00:25:54,990 --> 00:25:59,100
I'm at, you know, I'm sort of at the
beginning of my celebrancy journey.
468
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:03,800
And I would love to get to the
point in my career where I feel
469
00:26:03,820 --> 00:26:06,339
confident enough to just do it.
470
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,949
Sort of go off road and
introduce something like that.
471
00:26:10,399 --> 00:26:12,860
Kimber probably would and
does it really, really well.
472
00:26:12,899 --> 00:26:16,159
And it's, you know, just picks
the right moment for it to happen.
473
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:17,320
And it's just beautiful.
474
00:26:17,620 --> 00:26:19,159
I really hope I get to that point.
475
00:26:19,629 --> 00:26:23,750
Well, it sounds like you're very much
on the right path to get them on.
476
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:25,159
I hope so.
477
00:26:25,159 --> 00:26:25,899
I have.
478
00:26:26,330 --> 00:26:27,100
Very good, Clyde.
479
00:26:27,790 --> 00:26:32,770
And tell me, what sort of things have
surprised you since coming on board?
480
00:26:32,790 --> 00:26:37,019
You've obviously surprised at how long
you can wait with someone's funeral.
481
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,670
What are the other things
that have come as a surprise?
482
00:26:39,700 --> 00:26:42,989
Even since Stas and Kim have started
the business, you know, seeing
483
00:26:42,989 --> 00:26:44,804
you've been on the sidelines as well.
484
00:26:45,065 --> 00:26:46,035
On a personal level,
485
00:26:46,045 --> 00:26:50,885
the biggest surprise for me is that
I'm able to do it and that I feel like
486
00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:54,665
I'm doing okay at it, you know, it's
never something I'd considered before
487
00:26:54,675 --> 00:27:01,385
until a year ago, I had only seen
sort of one dead body in my life and
488
00:27:01,465 --> 00:27:03,884
it was shocking and difficult for me.
489
00:27:04,745 --> 00:27:09,365
And then, you know, cut to 12
months later and, you know, I've
490
00:27:09,415 --> 00:27:14,985
witnessed a full cranial autopsy and
BAM and does feel like a big deal.
491
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:20,030
But it doesn't feel like this horrible
thing, you know, it's like, it's a part
492
00:27:20,030 --> 00:27:23,859
of your job, but also like a beautiful
thing to witness in a, in a weird way.
493
00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:28,959
So it's a, it's just been a huge shock
to me that that was in me and I'm
494
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,570
capable of it because I've, I say this
quite a lot, but none of us realize
495
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:38,680
what we're really capable of until you
sort of pushed and you do something
496
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,120
and you're like, Oh, I can do this.
497
00:27:41,629 --> 00:27:42,129
Sorry.
498
00:27:42,475 --> 00:27:48,085
Yeah, the biggest surprise to me is
that I'm able to handle a dead person.
499
00:27:48,665 --> 00:27:51,274
And tell me, Mon, are you
comfortable to talk about that
500
00:27:51,274 --> 00:27:54,935
experience where you'd seen the
person who had died a year before?
501
00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:56,775
When I've seen in the past?
502
00:27:56,845 --> 00:27:57,515
Yeah.
503
00:27:57,635 --> 00:28:03,365
Well, it wasn't the first Interaction I
had with the last hurrah of seeing a dead
504
00:28:03,365 --> 00:28:07,005
person was very gentle and very slow.
505
00:28:07,165 --> 00:28:11,955
So, you know, first it was, we've got
someone in our care who is, they are
506
00:28:11,964 --> 00:28:14,255
wrapped in a shroud, so you're not
going to see their face, you know.
507
00:28:14,395 --> 00:28:17,394
We'll take you in and just be
in there and see how you feel.
508
00:28:17,620 --> 00:28:21,280
But that was pretty much it,
like, you know, full of like, yep,
509
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:22,360
I'm just going to go in there.
510
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,170
I'm just going to do it, you know,
like psyching myself up for it.
511
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:29,219
And you go in there and you see
them and they're all wrapped up
512
00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:32,820
and they put a little electronic
candle next to them in the mortuary.
513
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:34,299
And it's beautiful.
514
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,169
And I've been cared for really lovely.
515
00:28:36,179 --> 00:28:38,850
And, and then you're sitting
and you're like, I'm so worried
516
00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:41,129
about, this is so no big deal.
517
00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:42,870
And then it's like, Oh, okay.
518
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:46,580
You know, we've got a person, you know, do
you want to maybe watch us do a dressing?
519
00:28:46,580 --> 00:28:46,879
Yeah.
520
00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:48,939
And you're there, but not touching.
521
00:28:48,939 --> 00:28:50,970
And then you do that and
you're like, Oh, that was okay.
522
00:28:50,970 --> 00:28:52,290
And then cut to 12 months later.
523
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:55,929
Oh, we're doing a full embalm of
someone who's had a cranial, see,
524
00:28:55,929 --> 00:28:57,310
would you like to come and watch us?
525
00:28:57,910 --> 00:29:02,180
Well, this escalated quickly,
but the reason we do that.
526
00:29:02,190 --> 00:29:05,879
And the reason we witnessed those
things is so we can understand the
527
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,190
experience when they're trying to explain
it to a family, because it's hard.
528
00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:13,784
It's, it's, it's a hard thing for
a family to go through knowing that
529
00:29:13,784 --> 00:29:15,205
that has happened to that person.
530
00:29:15,665 --> 00:29:19,984
And I can't guide them through
that or give them any information
531
00:29:19,984 --> 00:29:21,504
on it if I haven't seen it myself.
532
00:29:21,764 --> 00:29:23,084
That's how I feel about it anyway.
533
00:29:23,085 --> 00:29:29,104
So I sort of feel like if I haven't gone
through it and witnessed it, how am I
534
00:29:29,105 --> 00:29:30,365
going to explain it to someone else?
535
00:29:30,895 --> 00:29:36,115
And sometimes that's part of the job, you
know, that's, it's a, I don't think many
536
00:29:36,115 --> 00:29:41,344
people like the idea of that happening
to a loved one and had a lot of people
537
00:29:41,345 --> 00:29:46,725
are very unaware of the coronial process
and what goes on, just knowing about it.
538
00:29:47,215 --> 00:29:50,175
demystifies it a bit and makes
it a little bit less scary.
539
00:29:51,895 --> 00:29:55,735
That's why in the guide that I wrote,
My Loved Ones Died, What Do I Do Now?
540
00:29:55,735 --> 00:30:00,415
there is a bit that I cover off in
relation to the coronial process.
541
00:30:00,435 --> 00:30:03,935
If someone does have to go to the
coroner, because there is that sort of
542
00:30:04,185 --> 00:30:06,285
mystery about it, and what does it mean?
543
00:30:07,350 --> 00:30:10,920
Just on the point that you were saying
that previously, the first time that
544
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,710
you saw a dead body, that was before
you started at the Last Hurrah.
545
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:16,730
How was that experience for you?
546
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:22,900
When you look at that experience that
you had personally, how were you treated
547
00:30:22,950 --> 00:30:25,710
then to how you treat people now?
548
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:31,220
Well, I've heard that it was in a
church and there was no one in there.
549
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:31,500
So.
550
00:30:32,125 --> 00:30:35,405
I mean, I was a kid, I might have
been like 10 or something like that.
551
00:30:35,455 --> 00:30:37,635
And it was a great grandmother's funeral.
552
00:30:38,105 --> 00:30:42,035
My great grandmother's just with the
open casket in the middle of the aisle,
553
00:30:42,245 --> 00:30:44,455
you know, at the front of the church.
554
00:30:44,455 --> 00:30:46,885
They walk in and there's no one in there.
555
00:30:46,895 --> 00:30:50,445
And obviously my parents were
there holding our hand and whatnot.
556
00:30:50,445 --> 00:30:55,305
But it was sort of just, nothing's
really explained, you know.
557
00:30:56,035 --> 00:30:59,745
May I'm sure mom and dad were probably
like now we're going in to see grandma
558
00:30:59,745 --> 00:31:04,795
and she's not with us anymore I'm sure
they went through that but I think it
559
00:31:04,795 --> 00:31:07,625
was yeah, it might be an age thing too.
560
00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:13,235
I was just like Oh, this is weird and why
is she dead, you know, all that stuff.
561
00:31:13,425 --> 00:31:17,525
But I think when we're having a
vigil and someone's coming in, I'm
562
00:31:17,535 --> 00:31:21,115
always thinking maybe this person
hasn't seen a dead person before.
563
00:31:21,585 --> 00:31:25,755
How do I make that as comfortable
as it can be, you know, come
564
00:31:25,755 --> 00:31:27,025
in, have a seat, have a drink.
565
00:31:27,435 --> 00:31:31,025
Now, the person is, It's, it's
been great, they're beautiful.
566
00:31:31,575 --> 00:31:34,285
You're free to touch them if you
want to, you can pick up their hand.
567
00:31:34,565 --> 00:31:38,615
They're going to feel cold because they've
been in the fridge, but they're, they're
568
00:31:38,625 --> 00:31:44,385
still the person and they're yours to,
you know, kiss or whatever you want to do.
569
00:31:44,765 --> 00:31:46,545
Kids are an interesting thing.
570
00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:53,140
Element because they've got lots of
questions and I love to be able to answer
571
00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:57,120
all of those questions, but it's a little
bit, you know, some of the questions are
572
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,390
like, Oh, right, well, you really went
there, you know, they're quite like, I
573
00:32:01,390 --> 00:32:06,074
had a kid asked me once, why do their
eyes look like, Oh, no, there was this.
574
00:32:06,415 --> 00:32:10,755
This kid was asking me what do eyes
look like after someone dies and,
575
00:32:11,445 --> 00:32:12,925
you know, they deflate a little bit.
576
00:32:13,255 --> 00:32:17,895
So, having to explain that to a kid is
challenging, but a very valid question
577
00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:22,555
and maybe them knowing the answer to that
question makes them less terrified of,
578
00:32:24,135 --> 00:32:29,665
Yeah, I had the privilege of recently
interviewing Lauren Breen and Shelley
579
00:32:29,665 --> 00:32:32,285
Skinner from Lionheart Camp for Kids.
580
00:32:32,675 --> 00:32:37,495
And they have a research paper that
they released and it's available on
581
00:32:37,505 --> 00:32:39,335
their show notes of their episode.
582
00:32:39,675 --> 00:32:41,175
And it was fascinating.
583
00:32:41,215 --> 00:32:44,595
They had collected all of
the questions that children
584
00:32:44,635 --> 00:32:46,275
ask on the first day of camp.
585
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,000
Because there is a doctor and a
social worker that actually comes the
586
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,730
second day to answer those questions.
587
00:32:52,150 --> 00:32:59,940
And it is amazing how frank and, oh
man, they go there, they, there is,
588
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:03,920
there is no, no No filter whatsoever.
589
00:33:04,270 --> 00:33:08,910
So I, I think it's safe to say that
if you think that a child's not
590
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:13,170
seeing or not knowing what's going
on, you're mistaken because they
591
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:16,410
see, hear, think about everything.
592
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:16,800
So.
593
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:17,060
Yeah.
594
00:33:17,475 --> 00:33:22,735
Yeah, and that's why I liked when you
were referring earlier about when you're
595
00:33:22,735 --> 00:33:27,615
talking with families, you're asking
them whether there's children and whether
596
00:33:27,615 --> 00:33:29,435
they'd like to actually do drawings.
597
00:33:29,715 --> 00:33:33,295
What are some of the other
things that you do to, you know,
598
00:33:33,335 --> 00:33:35,505
include children in the process?
599
00:33:35,705 --> 00:33:40,215
Along the sort of craft line, our
cardboard coffins, which are The
600
00:33:40,215 --> 00:33:44,855
majority of the coffins that our people
use are basically a blank canvas.
601
00:33:44,865 --> 00:33:49,875
So one thing we do quite often is a
family will come and pick the coffin up
602
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:54,045
and take it home for a few days before
the funeral and have a bit of a, a
603
00:33:54,085 --> 00:33:58,695
family decorating session and getting
kids involved in that is really cool.
604
00:33:58,735 --> 00:34:02,035
I know I'm working with a woman
who is pre planning her funeral.
605
00:34:02,595 --> 00:34:07,895
And it's a long way in the future, but
what she wants to do is, is bring her
606
00:34:07,895 --> 00:34:12,405
coffin home while she's still alive,
decorate it with her grandkids together,
607
00:34:12,435 --> 00:34:14,665
like as a sort of group craft project.
608
00:34:14,695 --> 00:34:18,735
And she's going to use that process
as a way of trying to explain to
609
00:34:18,735 --> 00:34:21,925
her grandkids, you know, like, I'm
going to be in this box one day.
610
00:34:21,945 --> 00:34:23,705
And you know, how do you feel about that?
611
00:34:24,070 --> 00:34:28,230
You're part of creating this box with me
and it's going to come with me forever
612
00:34:28,230 --> 00:34:32,910
and use it as a bit of a way of opening
up those conversations with kids.
613
00:34:32,940 --> 00:34:35,810
And that's just Awesome.
614
00:34:36,180 --> 00:34:39,690
But yeah, the, the physical decorating
of the coffins are a really good one.
615
00:34:39,730 --> 00:34:44,970
We've also, you know, got a lot of sort
of sensory toys and coloring and books
616
00:34:44,970 --> 00:34:48,660
and things we set up if, if I know
there's going to be kids at the funeral.
617
00:34:49,060 --> 00:34:53,690
We also occasionally set up a sort
of quiet space for kids that might
618
00:34:53,690 --> 00:34:57,610
be neurodiverse or just really
struggling and need to get away.
619
00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:00,190
And that can be a really,
really great thing.
620
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,710
Funerals where a young person has died,
and there's a lot of young friends there.
621
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:10,900
We've created, you know, quiet spaces for
them to get away to, and that's always
622
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:12,960
really well received and well utilised.
623
00:35:13,450 --> 00:35:14,440
There's a few things.
624
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,730
A few things like that we do, kids coming
to a viewing or a vigil is a different
625
00:35:19,740 --> 00:35:24,870
thing again, is you know, how are we going
to include them in this ceremony that
626
00:35:24,870 --> 00:35:26,490
we're all having together as a family.
627
00:35:26,530 --> 00:35:29,990
We sort of set up our viewing space
with a coffin and a little cocoon, so
628
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:35,440
you can be there with an experience
that And also have the choice not to
629
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:41,070
do so, you know, we, we find most, most
people do and or they may get there
630
00:35:41,070 --> 00:35:42,650
and be really apprehensive about it.
631
00:35:42,650 --> 00:35:47,060
And then we'll just move closer and
closer and closer to where the coffin is.
632
00:35:47,060 --> 00:35:48,470
And eventually they go in there.
633
00:35:48,470 --> 00:35:51,560
And so knowing if there's going
to be kids at the funeral or the
634
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,960
feeling is, it's really important
for me to figure out, okay, what
635
00:35:56,770 --> 00:35:58,460
little things we can hit in place.
636
00:35:58,985 --> 00:36:00,945
It's lovely that you've
got that consideration.
637
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:05,975
Now, I'd like to talk about the other
considerations that the organisation
638
00:36:05,985 --> 00:36:11,265
has, and I know that you have funeral
support for people in need, you
639
00:36:11,285 --> 00:36:15,585
have considerations in relation to
people who have died in custody.
640
00:36:16,185 --> 00:36:19,365
Can you talk a little bit
about what that looks like and
641
00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:20,575
how you support those people?
642
00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:26,025
Yeah, so with all of our funerals,
all of our families donate
643
00:36:26,065 --> 00:36:29,445
100 to our philanthropic bank.
644
00:36:29,525 --> 00:36:33,765
And that money basically
accumulates and sits there to
645
00:36:33,765 --> 00:36:35,945
be used in a situation of need.
646
00:36:35,995 --> 00:36:38,599
So, you know, it can be anything.
647
00:36:38,950 --> 00:36:42,470
Any situation, and there's lots
of sad ones out there, but just
648
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,330
one of those happens to be, we use
that sometimes for testing custody.
649
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:52,110
So, if someone comes to us and they
have no next of kin and no family
650
00:36:52,110 --> 00:36:56,060
and no friends, we may use it in
that situation or, you know, a young
651
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,380
person in terrible circumstances.
652
00:36:58,845 --> 00:37:02,205
The circumstances are usually not
great for there to be a need and the
653
00:37:02,235 --> 00:37:06,365
decision making process around that is
really just, you know, the directors
654
00:37:06,365 --> 00:37:12,675
get together and weigh up the situation
and all of the parts of it and all the
655
00:37:12,675 --> 00:37:16,395
people involved and decide whether this
is going to be a good use for that money.
656
00:37:16,875 --> 00:37:19,505
And they deem that, you
know, a death in custody is a
657
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:20,775
really good use of that money.
658
00:37:21,275 --> 00:37:25,075
It's definitely a case by case, they're
not all the same, and they're all just
659
00:37:25,075 --> 00:37:29,585
weighed up on individual merit, but
yeah, it's, that's, yeah, coming back
660
00:37:29,585 --> 00:37:32,945
to that why is it important that we
are transparent about pricing and we
661
00:37:32,945 --> 00:37:37,355
offer affordable funerals, it's all
part of that, that everyone deserves a
662
00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:42,865
funeral and to die with dignity and to
be cared for in a loving, supportive
663
00:37:42,865 --> 00:37:44,965
way, regardless of their situation,
664
00:37:45,450 --> 00:37:51,570
And also there seems to be programming
that you have around sort of connecting
665
00:37:51,580 --> 00:37:54,270
with families even after the funeral.
666
00:37:54,490 --> 00:37:57,880
So I know that you hold an
annual tree planting event?
667
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,700
Yeah, yeah we do.
668
00:37:59,970 --> 00:38:00,900
It's awesome.
669
00:38:01,450 --> 00:38:03,430
It's, it's a really amazing day.
670
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,900
I've heard someone Describe
it as woodstock with death.
671
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:14,160
So it's on a farm in just outside
Malden in Goldfields region, Victoria.
672
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,280
And we have it once a
year in April every year.
673
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:21,890
And everyone who has had someone
that we have looked after gets
674
00:38:21,890 --> 00:38:23,330
a tree to plant for that person.
675
00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:27,940
So every year there'll be people coming
and planting trees for the first time that
676
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,580
has had someone pass the previous year.
677
00:38:30,035 --> 00:38:34,255
Or anyone in years before that who
wants to come and sit with their tree
678
00:38:34,255 --> 00:38:35,715
or have a picnic or anything like that.
679
00:38:35,715 --> 00:38:39,475
So we have, we actually
have a band, we have.
680
00:38:39,835 --> 00:38:43,765
the local Dja Dja Wurrung
people come and do a welcome to
681
00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:46,345
country and a smoking ceremony.
682
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,515
And yeah, it's just a
really beautiful day.
683
00:38:49,515 --> 00:38:54,385
It's a bit of a picnic sort of
music affair and yeah, it can,
684
00:38:54,445 --> 00:38:56,325
it's, it's absolutely beautiful.
685
00:38:57,340 --> 00:39:00,390
And is it on one particular
property or is, so is it a
686
00:39:00,390 --> 00:39:00,700
revegetation
687
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:01,980
project?
688
00:39:02,180 --> 00:39:07,780
So it's on Stass and I's parents farm
and they have sort of allocated a
689
00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:13,610
portion of it for this project, yeah,
as a contribution really to, and to host
690
00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:19,020
people and look after their trees and
give them that space to get away to.
691
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,170
That's incredibly
generous of your parents.
692
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,790
It is.
693
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:27,510
They also end up with lots of beautiful
trees and lots of beautiful stories.
694
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:28,410
My dad loves it.
695
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:31,090
Like, he's a really social person.
696
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:35,450
So anyone who's coming up to look at their
tree, because people pop in throughout
697
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:38,250
the year too, they might just want to come
up and sit with their tree or whatever.
698
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:43,890
And he loves that and has a chat with them
and yeah, I think it makes them really
699
00:39:43,890 --> 00:39:44,320
happy.
700
00:39:44,785 --> 00:39:45,535
That's amazing.
701
00:39:45,805 --> 00:39:47,365
And what do your parents do?
702
00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:52,145
Because, you know, the two of you have
obviously really opened your hearts and
703
00:39:52,145 --> 00:39:54,475
support other people within the community.
704
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:55,895
So, where did that start?
705
00:39:55,905 --> 00:39:57,655
Like, was, what did your parents do?
706
00:39:57,655 --> 00:39:58,675
Did they model this
707
00:39:58,685 --> 00:39:59,385
behaviour?
708
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:02,115
Yes, yeah, absolutely they did.
709
00:40:02,185 --> 00:40:04,675
Probably not like in
their careers as such.
710
00:40:04,705 --> 00:40:08,195
I mean, there's a lot of sort
of nurse aides in my family.
711
00:40:08,225 --> 00:40:11,025
So a lot of people have
had caring jobs for sure.
712
00:40:11,805 --> 00:40:13,015
Dad is in sales.
713
00:40:13,455 --> 00:40:15,775
So he's a people person, obviously.
714
00:40:15,855 --> 00:40:20,720
But I think, I don't know if
there was a sort of direct sort
715
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,880
of path, path into this work.
716
00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:27,790
They've certainly always modelled
treating other people well and being
717
00:40:27,790 --> 00:40:31,110
a good person to your family and your
community and all that sort of thing.
718
00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,729
So that's always been there.
719
00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:35,810
I, you know, I've never
really thought about it.
720
00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:36,520
It's just there.
721
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,640
Yeah, not, not everyone does have it
just there, so I know it's special
722
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,050
and I'm really grateful for that.
723
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:48,710
And the fact that they can also be part
of, you know, what has been created and
724
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:52,600
see that literally grow on their property
must be an amazing thing for them.
725
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:58,415
Definitely, and I think Dad's probably
starting his, his, his, They're getting
726
00:40:58,415 --> 00:41:01,795
repeat visits now, because it's been
sort of happening for long enough.
727
00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:05,955
And, you know, I think he gets a real kick
out of people coming back and, oh, look at
728
00:41:05,965 --> 00:41:10,215
how much your tree's grown and, you know,
hearing their story and like, everyone's
729
00:41:10,265 --> 00:41:16,215
got a great story to tell, you know, and
yeah, I definitely think he gets a kick
730
00:41:16,215 --> 00:41:17,929
out of being able to do that for people.
731
00:41:18,510 --> 00:41:19,660
I don't think you'd do it otherwise.
732
00:41:19,780 --> 00:41:22,690
It's certainly a lot of work
for him, you know, the watering.
733
00:41:22,690 --> 00:41:25,740
And, you know, there are a
certain number of trees that
734
00:41:25,740 --> 00:41:26,980
don't make it through the year.
735
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:31,790
So, you know, there's, there's
usually a bit of a, you know, okay.
736
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:33,780
Planting day is three months away.
737
00:41:33,790 --> 00:41:36,860
I'll just, let's just do a tally
up of those that haven't made it.
738
00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:40,280
And all right, down to the nursery,
we'll, we'll backfill these ones.
739
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,990
So it's a lot of work,
but it's definitely a
740
00:41:42,990 --> 00:41:43,690
labour of love.
741
00:41:44,190 --> 00:41:48,640
Let your dad know, I used to work
at a Royal Botanic Gardens, and even
742
00:41:48,650 --> 00:41:53,350
they have trouble getting all of the
plants to survive, so let him know, you
743
00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:55,140
know, don't be too harsh on himself.
744
00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:55,850
I'll
745
00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,060
definitely let him know that.
746
00:41:57,250 --> 00:42:02,070
It is also, you know, central Victoria,
and it's, water is, is not always
747
00:42:02,070 --> 00:42:04,530
around, so he's got a good system going.
748
00:42:05,475 --> 00:42:06,395
That's good to hear.
749
00:42:07,115 --> 00:42:11,185
And tell me, what does the future
hold for, you know, Mon and, you
750
00:42:11,185 --> 00:42:13,335
know, Last Hurrah and the team?
751
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:16,225
You've expanded, you know,
there's quite a few of you now.
752
00:42:16,225 --> 00:42:19,795
I think that it started off with
just, you know, Stass and Kimba.
753
00:42:20,045 --> 00:42:22,715
And now, how many is in the team now?
754
00:42:23,075 --> 00:42:23,785
Well,
755
00:42:24,155 --> 00:42:25,215
that's a good question.
756
00:42:25,225 --> 00:42:30,735
Maybe 10, not all full time, but you
know, some casual, some full time.
757
00:42:30,805 --> 00:42:33,165
But yeah, it's, it's definitely growing.
758
00:42:33,165 --> 00:42:36,785
And I think the goal is just to
be able to do this for as many
759
00:42:36,795 --> 00:42:38,205
families as we possibly can.
760
00:42:38,685 --> 00:42:44,155
I think there's probably, you know,
the idea of having more people sit
761
00:42:44,155 --> 00:42:47,435
down with families and do arrangements,
but I think that'll just sort
762
00:42:47,435 --> 00:42:49,065
of all happen quite organically.
763
00:42:49,970 --> 00:42:55,470
Personally, I just want to get better at
it and especially the ceremony creation
764
00:42:55,470 --> 00:43:00,820
part of it and making beautiful ceremonies
for, for people, the best job ever.
765
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,190
I just want to get better at it.
766
00:43:02,735 --> 00:43:07,285
Well, I think that I'm sure that
the families that you have been
767
00:43:07,365 --> 00:43:12,395
providing services to don't realize
that you're wanting to improve.
768
00:43:12,395 --> 00:43:15,875
I think that they would just be really
happy with what you're already providing.
769
00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:18,105
So don't be too hard on yourself.
770
00:43:18,355 --> 00:43:18,755
Yeah,
771
00:43:19,625 --> 00:43:21,339
I'm pretty sure they are.
772
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:26,260
And tell me, given your experience,
what advice or encouragement
773
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:30,990
would you give to families when
they do have a loved one die?
774
00:43:31,410 --> 00:43:33,520
What would be the advice
that you give to them?
775
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:38,950
I'd say that they don't need to make
any snap decisions in the moment.
776
00:43:39,290 --> 00:43:41,740
Don't even really need to
choose which Funeral Director
777
00:43:41,750 --> 00:43:43,410
you go with straight away.
778
00:43:43,950 --> 00:43:48,110
Probably just come back to that, just
take a breath and we can slow this
779
00:43:48,110 --> 00:43:50,360
down, probably first and foremost.
780
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,800
And another thing I would say
is that there's no rules or
781
00:43:54,810 --> 00:43:56,855
script That you need to follow.
782
00:43:57,495 --> 00:44:02,585
Often families sort of feel like
they come in with this list of things
783
00:44:02,585 --> 00:44:05,795
they think they need to do and that
they think they need to do quickly,
784
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:11,175
such as, I've got to drop 500 bucks
on flowers, or I've got to do this.
785
00:44:11,505 --> 00:44:12,825
I've got to have it in a chapel.
786
00:44:12,835 --> 00:44:13,895
I've got to do it this way.
787
00:44:14,575 --> 00:44:16,345
You know, all of those things.
788
00:44:16,775 --> 00:44:17,255
I think.
789
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,770
Just a reminder to people that
there's no set way of doing this.
790
00:44:21,820 --> 00:44:25,750
Most people, if you're lucky, haven't done
this before and aren't very experienced
791
00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:31,060
at it, so don't feel like you've got
to sit down and know the game, because
792
00:44:31,060 --> 00:44:32,270
that's what you're paying us for.
793
00:44:32,330 --> 00:44:36,375
A lot of people apologize to
me for Not knowing what to do.
794
00:44:37,065 --> 00:44:38,005
How would you know what to do?
795
00:44:38,015 --> 00:44:41,435
Like, hopefully you haven't
done many of these before.
796
00:44:42,025 --> 00:44:45,585
And most often it's the
first time and that's fine.
797
00:44:45,885 --> 00:44:47,205
You know, that's what we're here for.
798
00:44:47,205 --> 00:44:51,395
So yeah, I'd say don't feel bad
about not knowing what to do or
799
00:44:51,395 --> 00:44:52,795
not knowing the process, because
800
00:44:53,265 --> 00:44:53,705
how would
801
00:44:53,705 --> 00:44:53,915
you?
802
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,010
I think that's beautiful
advice to end on, Mon.
803
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,120
Thank you so much.
804
00:44:58,670 --> 00:44:59,260
You're welcome.
805
00:44:59,280 --> 00:44:59,530
Thanks
806
00:44:59,540 --> 00:44:59,670
for having
807
00:44:59,750 --> 00:45:00,050
me.
808
00:45:02,730 --> 00:45:06,160
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,
809
00:45:06,460 --> 00:45:08,040
brought to you by Critical Info.
810
00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:13,240
If you liked the episode, learnt something
new, or were touched by a story you
811
00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,100
heard, we'd love for you to let us know.
812
00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:17,750
Send us an email, even tell your friends.
813
00:45:17,890 --> 00:45:20,620
Subscribe so you don't
miss out on new episodes.
814
00:45:20,870 --> 00:45:25,010
If you can spare a few moments,
please rate and review us as it
815
00:45:25,010 --> 00:45:26,750
helps other people to find the show.
816
00:45:27,020 --> 00:45:28,370
Are you dying to know more?
817
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:29,510
Stay up to date with.
818
00:45:29,510 --> 00:45:33,440
Don't be caught dead by signing up to
our newsletter and follow us on social
819
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:39,650
media Head to Don't Be Caught dead.com for
more information and loads of resources.
Read Less
Resources
- My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?
Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. Download it here.
- Support Services
If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here.