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About this episode
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode covers the topic of suicide.
In a world where mental health struggles often go unspoken, three young blokes from Melbourne are turning their personal tragedies into a powerful force for change. Meet Ben, one of the founders of Speak and Share, a charity that's taking Australia by storm with its mission to normalise mental health conversations and prevent suicide.
Born from the depths of their own mental health battles during the COVID lockdown, Ben and his mates, Nathan and Mason, transformed their pain into purpose. After losing a close friend to suicide, experiencing family upheaval, and grappling with grief, these three teachers realised the dire need for open, honest conversations about mental health. What started as a simple Instagram account sharing funny skits with positive mental health messages has now blossomed into a medium-sized charity running programs in schools, sporting clubs, and workplaces across Australia.
But Speak and Share isn't just another mental health organisation. With their iconic sunflower logo symbolising strength and community, and their sought-after merchandise drops, they've created a movement that's as cool as it is crucial. Their approach is all about prevention, starting conversations early, and creating a world where speaking about mental health is as natural as talking about the weather.
Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.
Take care,
Catherine
Show notes
Guest Bio
Founders of Speak & Share.
Ben Farish, Nathan Scagliarini and Mason de Wit are qualified teachers but in 2021 they did something not many mates do, they started Speak & Share, a charity whose vision is to become one of Australia’s most impactful Mental Health advocacy organisations that creates everlasting change in our community.
Summary
Key Takeaways:
- Vulnerability is infectious: Ben emphasises the power of being honest and open about your struggles, which encourages others to do the same.
- Create comfortable spaces for tough conversations: Whether it's going for a walk or grabbing fish and chips, find environments where people feel at ease to open up.
- Early intervention is key: Speak and Share focuses on educating young people about mental health strategies before crises occur.
- Collaboration over competition: Despite the challenges, Ben stresses the importance of mental health organisations working together towards common goals.
- Self-care is crucial: Even for mental health advocates, maintaining personal wellbeing through activities like exercise, journaling, and podcasts is essential.
Transcript
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He felt like he couldn't speak and share.
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Being stereotypical male, didn't
want to tell his mates how he was
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honestly feeling and felt like he
was always a burden on our friendship
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00:00:10,099 --> 00:00:11,390
group for having negative feelings.
5
00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:15,179
So he had an episode, it would have been
10 or 11 months before he flew up to
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00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,030
He felt like he couldn't speak and share.
2
00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:06,910
Being stereotypical male, didn't
want to tell his mates how he was
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00:00:06,910 --> 00:00:10,090
honestly feeling and felt like he
was always a burden on our friendship
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group for having negative feelings.
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So he had an episode, it would have been
10 or 11 months before he flew up to
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Darwin where he tried to take his life and
I was lucky enough to sort of intervene
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and stop him from doing so but before that
we had no idea that he was struggling.
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He was always usually in The happy
person in the friendship group that was
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cracking the jokes at the footy club and
mucking around and having a good time.
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And yeah, it wasn't until he sort of
had that cry for help that we realized
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that he was struggling and that he
needed sort of professional help.
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Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead, a
podcast encouraging open conversations
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about dying and the death of a loved one.
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I'm your host, Katherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to
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bring your stories of death back to life.
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Because while you may not be ready
to die, At least you can be prepared.
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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations
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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.
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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend
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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First
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Nation peoples around the globe.
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So today we are speaking with Ben.
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Ben is part of a trio and his
offsiders are Nathan and my son.
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They're qualified teachers, but in 2021,
they did something that not many mates do.
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They started Speak and Share, a charity
whose vision is to become one of
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Australia's most impactful mental health
advocacy organizations that creates
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everlasting change in our community.
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Thank you for being with us today, Ben.
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Nah, thank you for having me Catherine.
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It's a pleasure to be here
being a long listener of the
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don't forget Don't be dead.
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Don't record Ted podcast So it's good
to good to be good to jump on and
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I'm going to get stuck into the chat
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No problems.
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It is a bit of a mouthful.
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So thanks for
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it's a bit of tongue twister, isn't it?
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Now what motivated you to?
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To create speak and share.
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Yeah, that's probably a few aspects.
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So myself and then my business partners,
Mason, Nathan sort of went through our
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own mental health battles during 2020.
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So I'm all lucky enough to get up
to Darwin during the COVID lockdown.
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And during that time period, we sort of
all went through our own experiences.
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So I unfortunately lost a mate to suicide.
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Nath's parents split up and then.
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Mace lost a loved one
to a workplace accident.
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So three pretty traumatic experiences
that we all went through independently
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and being stereotypical males didn't
communicate about how that was affecting
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us and turned to some unhealthy behaviours
during the rest of our trip to Darwin.
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And then I think we came home in January
21 and sort of all got together and
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saw how the community was struggling
during the COVID lockdown and the kids
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we were teaching, they were struggling.
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So.
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Wanted to get into the mental
health space, didn't really know
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what it was going to look like.
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Created an Instagram platform and saw what
the Inspired Unemployed boys were doing,
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if you know them, they're sort of content
creators and create some funny videos.
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So we created a few skit videos that
made people laugh that had a positive
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mental health message on the end and
they got a lot of traction and then.
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We had the idea of starting getting
some merchandise and apparel to sort of
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spread our message and that really got
some traction more than we thought it
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was going to get and it's really grown
from there, three years down the track.
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We're now a registered charity, a medium
sized charity that runs programs in
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schools, sporting clubs and workplaces
and runs community events and just
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all about sort of normalizing the
conversation and providing the community
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an opportunity to connect and talk
about the topic of mental health.
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Wow.
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And tell me, you mentioned unhealthy
behaviours, so what sort of things
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were, or what was the catalyst
that went, okay, this is enough.
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Was there one bad experience or you just,
you know, had a big boy trip away and
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just went, look, we can't keep doing this.
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Yeah, probably for me it was, I'm
a pretty physically active person.
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So I went from being physically active
and playing footy to sort of not wanting
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to play footy, not moving my body like I.
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Usually would, was eating pretty
unhealthily, was drinking a fair bit
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and was struggling to sleep and sort
of do the things I love and I know
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that Nathan and Mace were the same.
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So it sort of got to a stage where I
wasn't happy with the person that I was.
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I wasn't talking to family and friends
about how I was honestly feeling and
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yeah, it was only until we went for a walk
together once we came back from Darwin
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that we realized that we're all in the
same boat and something needed to change.
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How did that happen?
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How did that conversation come about?
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Yeah, it was a tough one.
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I know Nath was really struggling
with his parents separating.
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So we were sort of honest with
him and said, you know, we noticed
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that you've been struggling,
do you want to go for a walk?
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And on that walk, he sort of opened
up about what he'd been through
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and how he was feeling about it.
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And then myself and Mace did too.
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And it was just good to sort of have a
sounding board where we could honestly
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express how we're feeling and, you
know, the experiences that we'd been
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through and how they were affecting us.
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So it was, yeah, really nice to
sort of be on that walk and it
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was definitely a turning point.
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In us, you know, receiving the help
that we needed and realizing that there
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sort of is support out there and your
mates are more than happy to listen to
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the issues that you're going through.
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And do you mind me asking, did you seek
formal support after that conversation?
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Oh, I didn't know.
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I've never seen a psychologist.
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I definitely need to, which has
come up in recent discussions with
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sort of business mentors and stuff.
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Cause I've had a bit of
grief through losing Josh.
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And then I've had a couple of other things
in my life that I definitely need to
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sort of, you know, talk about a bit more.
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I know Nath saw a psychologist
once his parents split up and,
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and Mace has never seen a psych.
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He's, he's usually a pretty up and
about individual and he's really
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good at expressing his emotions.
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But no, I didn't see a psych after Josh
passed, but I have a lovely family.
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Mum and dad are awesome and I have
a great support network around
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me who are incredibly helpful.
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But yeah, definitely need to sort of
get into that professional health space.
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And Josh was the name of
your friend that died?
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Yeah, correct.
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Yeah, he was from the
Mornington Peninsula.
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So the three of us are born
and bred from the peninsula.
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He was 24 at the time, 25 I think.
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Was a business owner, he was a carpenter,
was a really good footballer, good
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sportsman, was a good looking fella,
had everything going for him, but was
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unfortunately struggling with his own
sort of internal demons that, yeah,
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it got the better of him and he felt
like he couldn't speak and share.
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00:06:11,465 --> 00:06:14,205
Being stereotypical male, didn't want
to, you know, tell his mates how he
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00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:17,515
was honestly feeling and felt like he
was always a burden on our friendship
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00:06:17,525 --> 00:06:18,825
group for having negative feelings.
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00:06:18,825 --> 00:06:22,265
So yeah, he had an episode, it would
have been, I think it was 10 or 11
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months before he flew up to Darwin
where he tried to take his life.
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And I was lucky enough to sort of
intervene and stop him from doing so.
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00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:31,095
But before that, we had no
idea that he was struggling.
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He was always usually.
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The happy person in the friendship
group that was cracking the jokes
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at the footy club and mucking
around and having a good time.
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And yeah, it wasn't until he sort of
had that cry for help that we realized
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that he was struggling and that he
needed sort of professional help.
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But when that happened,
it was almost too late.
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He sort of went on to antidepressants
and all that sort of medication.
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And it was, yeah, almost a downward spiral
from that sort of cry for help instance.
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And then it was only about
10 or 11 months until he.
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Ended up taking his life, but that's
sort of why I created Speak and Share
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is to get these conversations going
and get males and females talking
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about their mental health before it
is an issue and before people are
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suicidal and all that sort of thing.
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And so what do you recommend to teenagers
or even young adults in their 20s or 30s?
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What do you recommend in relation
to starting those conversations
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and speaking and sharing?
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Yeah, it's probably a few things.
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I think the first one is being honest.
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So you've got to be
honest with your mates.
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If you notice that they are
struggling, be honest with them.
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And so, you know, Catherine, I realized
that you haven't been doing the things you
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love or you seem like you're a bit upset.
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Um, so honesty is the first one.
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And then the second one's when you sort of
start these conversations is get them in
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an environment that they feel comfortable.
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So don't sit down with them face to face
and sort of grill them face to face.
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But if you like going out in the
outdoors or you like arts and craft
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or going to the movies, get them in an
environment that they feel comfortable.
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Whether it's going for a drive or going
to the beach or going for a walk, get
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them in that environment where they are
comfortable and then yeah, definitely
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hit them with the honesty question
and be honest with them because yeah,
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you don't want to not ask the question
before it's too late, which is probably
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the one regret that I've got with Josh.
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00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:11,100
And do you suggest it being on a one
on one basis, or was it the three
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of you that sat down with Josh?
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Yeah, it depends on the person.
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I'd probably ask the person first,
like, would you prefer that I come
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with you, or do you want, you know,
a group of mates of us to come?
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It depends on the person, and ask
them what they would prefer, and you'd
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hope that, you know, being a good
mate, that they'd say, I'd prefer that
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you just came, or I'd prefer that,
you know, all the boys just came.
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But usually when I caught up with
Josh, it was just one on one.
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He was pretty happy with that.
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We'd get fish and chips, I'd go for a
walk, and Get outside where we're not
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sort of sitting down at a coffee table,
face to face, making direct eye contact.
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And you can, you know, look at the
trees or look up in the air and get
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those honest conversations going.
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It's kind of like, and I have used
reference a bit when I've been speaking to
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people, but it's kind of like as a parent,
when you have that sex conversation,
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you know, with your child, you're just.
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Don't make it intense.
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You do it in the car or, you know,
somewhere where, like you were saying,
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people are comfortable and they can
open up without the intense eye contact.
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Yeah.
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A hundred percent.
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You want them to be comfortable.
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Like you don't want it to be like
they're sitting in a, in a psychology
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00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:15,905
ward with a psychologist in this
white room sitting face to face.
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00:09:15,905 --> 00:09:18,814
Like you want them in an environment where
they do feel comfortable and they can, you
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know, express themselves in an honest way.
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Yeah.
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And tell me, so it went from this
obviously very raw personal experience
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for each of you to then thinking, okay,
well, how else can we support people?
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So talk me through that process
because then to become a
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charity, not everyone does that.
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No, yeah, it's definitely grown a lot
quicker than we initially expected,
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which has been awesome, overwhelming,
but I think it just shows the sort
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of the need for what we're doing.
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So.
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I remember we sold our first hoodie drop.
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So our office used to be
mom and dad's kitchen table.
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And we had about 350 hoodies
dropped off to mom and dad's house.
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And mom said, there's no way
that you're going to sell these.
205
00:10:02,324 --> 00:10:03,415
No one's going to buy these.
206
00:10:03,454 --> 00:10:05,655
And I think we sold them out in,
it was less than five minutes.
207
00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:06,855
So that was good.
208
00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:11,265
And we're lucky enough that an individual
called Sam bought a hoodie and his mom,
209
00:10:11,635 --> 00:10:14,845
Rebecca Wilmont, who's now on our board,
sort of questioned Sam and said, you
210
00:10:14,845 --> 00:10:16,125
know, what's this speak and share stuff?
211
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,035
Like, what's it all about?
212
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:17,174
Yeah.
213
00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:20,545
And then she reached out to us
and said, well, what's your ideas?
214
00:10:20,555 --> 00:10:22,714
I'd love to catch up with you and see
what you're thinking with speak and share.
215
00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:25,595
And we did had no idea what we
wanted to do is speak and share.
216
00:10:25,595 --> 00:10:28,875
And since we caught up with her being
school teachers, we always knew that
217
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,174
we wanted to get into the school space.
218
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:34,420
But that initial catch up with Beck sort
of helped us, you know, brainstorm ideas
219
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:38,600
and spaces and aspects that we wanted to
get Speak Share into and has really helped
220
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,430
mold Speak Share into what it is today.
221
00:10:40,939 --> 00:10:43,550
And can I take you a step back?
222
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:44,239
Yeah.
223
00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:45,259
Hoodies.
224
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:46,750
Where did that come from?
225
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:47,500
Yeah.
226
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,189
Um, the three of us like our clothing,
like to have a bit of swagger and probably
227
00:10:51,189 --> 00:10:55,439
spend too much, too much money on clothes,
but it was just a great way initially
228
00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:57,339
to get some cash into the business.
229
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,250
Obviously being in Melbourne,
everyone always needs a hoodie
230
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,699
because it's always freezing outside.
231
00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:05,350
So, we thought the hoodie would be
sort of the staple product and having
232
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:08,869
the big Speak Share logo on the front
definitely gets the conversations going.
233
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:12,050
Like if you see it out in public, if I'm
wearing Speak Share and someone else is
234
00:11:12,549 --> 00:11:15,260
wearing Speak Share, you'll give them a
wave, but there's a lot of people that
235
00:11:15,269 --> 00:11:17,939
haven't seen it before that might see a
hoodie and they'll go up to the person
236
00:11:17,939 --> 00:11:21,300
and say, what's this Speak Share stuff,
which gets, um, conversation going.
237
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,930
So, it's pretty much just like a
walking billboard, which is awesome.
238
00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:25,930
And tell me about the design.
239
00:11:26,225 --> 00:11:26,925
Yeah, the design.
240
00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:27,135
Yeah.
241
00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:28,875
So we have a graphic
designer called Billy.
242
00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:29,925
She's a local girl too.
243
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:30,455
She's awesome.
244
00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:31,815
So she's been with us from the start.
245
00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:32,035
So.
246
00:11:32,464 --> 00:11:34,645
We try and change each hoodie design.
247
00:11:34,645 --> 00:11:35,655
So we do them in drops.
248
00:11:35,665 --> 00:11:37,704
So we are hoping to do this year.
249
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,675
It's roughly about one every month.
250
00:11:39,954 --> 00:11:41,894
So we'll dedicate a garment.
251
00:11:41,894 --> 00:11:44,785
So whether it's a hoodie, a t shirt
or a hat to someone in their story.
252
00:11:44,814 --> 00:11:48,824
So someone will jump on our Instagram
platform and share their story and what
253
00:11:48,824 --> 00:11:52,464
they've been through and on the back of
that, they'll choose a charity alongside
254
00:11:52,464 --> 00:11:53,865
speaking share that they want to support.
255
00:11:53,865 --> 00:11:56,875
And we usually donate between
five to 10 to another charity.
256
00:11:57,285 --> 00:12:00,515
And it just, yeah, kids relate to and
adults relate to sort of the story
257
00:12:00,565 --> 00:12:03,145
and the garment and the storytelling
behind it, which is really special.
258
00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:07,965
And I've seen the sunflower
hues or daisy hues.
259
00:12:07,975 --> 00:12:08,385
Yeah.
260
00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:08,465
So
261
00:12:08,465 --> 00:12:10,085
the sunflower is our logo.
262
00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:12,854
So for us, it just represents
strength and perseverance.
263
00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:16,754
So sunflowers are amazing,
amazing plants, amazing flowers.
264
00:12:16,814 --> 00:12:19,835
They can obviously last, you know,
the heat during summer and then
265
00:12:19,835 --> 00:12:21,115
they survive during winter too.
266
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:24,495
And usually when you see them,
they are growing out in fields
267
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,265
together in hundreds or thousands.
268
00:12:26,265 --> 00:12:29,545
And I guess that's what we're trying
to build at Speak Share, sort of a
269
00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:33,155
community that wants to come together,
help each other sort of grow towards the
270
00:12:33,155 --> 00:12:36,154
sun and work towards each other and lean
on each other during those hard times.
271
00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:40,054
And even the way I'm
going to go back into my.
272
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,720
botanical background now.
273
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,820
You probably know, you probably
274
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,003
know more about the sunflower than I do.
275
00:12:46,003 --> 00:12:46,479
No,
276
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:52,350
just I'm thinking about when you like
have sunflowers and they've grown
277
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,930
and you're getting the seeds out.
278
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:58,639
All the seeds come together and they
support each other in the flower and
279
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,939
so it's a beautiful thing that you've
chosen the sunflower because in so
280
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:08,749
many elements It's, it represents
support and little individuals making
281
00:13:08,749 --> 00:13:10,839
up a bigger, beautiful picture.
282
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:11,760
For sure.
283
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,189
And I think when you always see them,
they always look like happy flowers,
284
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:15,900
like they never look like they're sad.
285
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:18,590
And, um, yeah, that's what we're
trying to create and speak and share
286
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,709
is just, yeah, people that want to talk
to others about their mental health
287
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,019
and hopefully grow towards the sun.
288
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,739
Oh, that's really lovely.
289
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,044
Yeah.
290
00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:25,530
And the
291
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,609
fact that it actually
radiates towards the sun.
292
00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:30,065
Yeah, exactly right.
293
00:13:30,065 --> 00:13:30,275
Yeah.
294
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,645
Which is what we're trying to grow is
people that wanna, you know, get the
295
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,795
best outta themselves and speak and
share and yeah, hopefully, you know, grow
296
00:13:35,795 --> 00:13:37,415
towards the sun and, and start blooming.
297
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,005
That's really beautiful.
298
00:13:39,675 --> 00:13:45,435
Tell me, you do this as a side venture
and you're all teachers at the same time.
299
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,275
What do you teach?
300
00:13:47,724 --> 00:13:48,114
Yep.
301
00:13:48,114 --> 00:13:50,155
So I didn't actually teach at all.
302
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:52,194
I did a bit of casual relief
teaching while we're trying
303
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:53,214
to get speak and share going.
304
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:57,925
I studied exercise science and
teaching at a CU, so I was.
305
00:13:58,475 --> 00:13:59,725
a PE teacher.
306
00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:02,155
So just mucked around playing
dodgeball with the kids pretty
307
00:14:02,155 --> 00:14:03,855
much and going on our direct camps.
308
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:07,065
Nath was the same but he's primary
and sec and then Mace is still
309
00:14:07,065 --> 00:14:09,635
working at primary school purely
because he loves the school he's at,
310
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,214
but he's teaching PE at the moment.
311
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:14,595
So we're all pretty three cruisy
individuals that like getting outside
312
00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:15,925
and playing sport with the kids.
313
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,330
Yeah, so you would have really
noticed that change in your
314
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:24,110
personality and how you were feeling
that you weren't being active.
315
00:14:24,619 --> 00:14:25,310
Yeah, for sure.
316
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:25,539
Yeah.
317
00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:26,610
I'm a very active person.
318
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:30,200
Love to run and go to the gym and move
my body and growing up was playing
319
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,530
footy and we're lucky enough to play
some footy up in the NT with the
320
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:36,840
TWA Bombers and after Josh passed, I
didn't really want to do any of that.
321
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,780
Didn't want to go to the gym.
322
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:38,460
Didn't want to run.
323
00:14:38,689 --> 00:14:42,829
Was eating unhealthy foods, fatty foods,
was going out drinking a fair bit.
324
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,710
So when I sort of, you know, was
reflecting during that moment,
325
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,949
was realizing that I wasn't
looking after my health and
326
00:14:47,949 --> 00:14:49,069
something needed to make a change.
327
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:55,166
And what is your recommendation
for parents when they start seeing
328
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,819
perhaps a change in that behavior?
329
00:14:57,820 --> 00:15:03,073
Of their children being very active,
being quite sluggish, you know, not
330
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:07,770
really taking care of themselves, any
behavior that's out of the ordinary.
331
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:09,479
What do you suggest?
332
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:11,670
Yeah, probably similar
to what I said before.
333
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:15,019
So, you know, getting your child in an
environment where they feel comfortable.
334
00:15:15,019 --> 00:15:17,300
So taking for a walk, if they like
kicking the footy, taking down to the
335
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:20,740
footy oval and being honest with them
to like, obviously your mom and dad
336
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,440
usually know when something's off.
337
00:15:22,869 --> 00:15:24,920
So ask the question, you
know, what's been happening?
338
00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:25,560
You're off.
339
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,650
You don't want to go to footy training.
340
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:27,689
Absolutely.
341
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:30,469
You're not going to the gym every day with
your mates, sort of what's been happening.
342
00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,699
And I think the other thing is just
provide them an opportunity to sort
343
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:37,149
of talk about what they want to talk
about and try and flow the conversation
344
00:15:37,149 --> 00:15:38,469
into how they've been feeling mentally.
345
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:41,349
And I think the important thing is,
is you don't have to have the answers.
346
00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:42,949
Like we're not psychologists.
347
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:44,979
We don't have the answers to a
lot of people's problems, but
348
00:15:44,979 --> 00:15:46,404
being there as a sounding board.
349
00:15:46,675 --> 00:15:49,115
Usually means a lot to the person
that is struggling and they can get
350
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:52,064
things off their chest and if they
are struggling and you think they need
351
00:15:52,064 --> 00:15:54,735
professional help, then you can sort
of, you know, reach out to the services
352
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,964
that you think they need to talk to.
353
00:15:56,285 --> 00:16:00,985
Do you think there's an element of
vulnerability that needs to be shown
354
00:16:01,185 --> 00:16:02,924
by someone who's trying to listen?
355
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,180
Yeah, for sure.
356
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:04,870
100%.
357
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:08,480
We say vulnerability is infectious,
so usually once one person shows their
358
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,850
vulnerabilities, which is what we do
during our programs, participants really
359
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:15,010
respect that and off the back of that,
they'll share their own vulnerabilities.
360
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:18,339
And I think as a parent too, you sort
of have to be vulnerable and, you know,
361
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,029
tell your son or your daughter that I've
been through similar things when I was
362
00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:25,330
younger, like I hated school or footy
training sometimes because I was anxious.
363
00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:28,395
You know, really break down the
barriers and not portray that
364
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,055
you're this individual that has
never had mental health problems.
365
00:16:31,055 --> 00:16:34,505
And once you do sort of show your
own vulnerabilities, your son or your
366
00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:38,184
daughter, or whoever you're talking to, we
will respect that and hopefully open up.
367
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:38,485
So
368
00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:38,924
you
369
00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:42,885
just to answer it from your
perspective, but do you think that
370
00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:48,645
is the key to unlocking the issues
that we're seeing nowadays with toxic
371
00:16:48,695 --> 00:16:55,395
masculinity and that behavior that
that generation of parents now, it's
372
00:16:55,395 --> 00:16:59,845
their responsibility to really change
that by showing their vulnerability.
373
00:17:00,345 --> 00:17:00,905
Yeah, for sure.
374
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:01,555
A hundred percent.
375
00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:05,095
I think as a teacher too, like I was
always pretty vulnerable as a teacher.
376
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,924
So if I was having an off day, like, I'd
be honest with the kids and say, you know
377
00:17:07,924 --> 00:17:08,984
what, I'm not feeling that great today.
378
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,432
I know you guys have days when you
feel off and I'm not feeling off too.
379
00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:11,629
And.
380
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,030
People really respect
people being vulnerable.
381
00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:17,770
There's a lot of people that put a facade
on like they're always flying and, you
382
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,140
know, they know the answer to everything.
383
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,789
But if I didn't know an answer to a
question as a teacher, I would tell
384
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,149
the kids like, I don't know what it is.
385
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,469
Like, we're gonna have
to find it out together.
386
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:30,074
And I think people really respect, you
know, people being vulnerable and, And
387
00:17:30,155 --> 00:17:35,145
you think if we actually as a society
adopted that vulnerability, it would
388
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:40,435
possibly reduce the likelihood of
feeling like the imposter syndrome
389
00:17:40,615 --> 00:17:44,675
when we're actually, you know, going
into different industries or different
390
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:49,195
job roles, because perhaps we're
giving ourselves an opportunity to
391
00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:51,965
be the real person and the real us.
392
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,465
We move on to those roles.
393
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:55,750
Yeah, a hundred percent.
394
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:59,340
I watch a lot of footy, for example,
and the footy clubs, AFL clubs that are
395
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:04,110
doing really well at the moment are clubs
where the players and employees embrace
396
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:07,989
themselves and express themselves and they
don't come into work into the footy club
397
00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:09,659
and try and be people that they're not.
398
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:10,739
So they wear whatever they want.
399
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:12,549
If they want to paint their
nails, they paint their nails.
400
00:18:12,919 --> 00:18:15,500
If they're struggling, they'll get up
in the front of the group and express,
401
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,330
you know, their vulnerabilities
and what they've been through.
402
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:22,055
I think, yeah, workplaces and schools
that, and any sort of organisation
403
00:18:22,055 --> 00:18:25,215
that allows people to express
themselves and, you know, openly
404
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:28,595
talk about how they're feeling are
ones that are places and schools that
405
00:18:28,664 --> 00:18:29,775
people want to spend their time in.
406
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:33,034
Because you don't leave
yourself at the gate, do you?
407
00:18:33,815 --> 00:18:34,364
Exactly right.
408
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,134
A hundred percent.
409
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:35,384
Yeah.
410
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:36,075
So it's crucial.
411
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,265
It can be hard to be vulnerable.
412
00:18:37,454 --> 00:18:39,785
But as I said before, if there's one
person that can sort of set the tone.
413
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,920
Then you often find that the others
will follow and will find it a
414
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,850
lot easier once that one person
has set the tone for the group.
415
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:50,290
And as a teacher in the school
environment, who do you suggest,
416
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:54,740
you know, the person who is
feeling vulnerable reaches out to?
417
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,260
Yeah, it's a tough one.
418
00:18:56,329 --> 00:18:59,970
Obviously, most schools have their well
being team and their welfare team, which
419
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:02,700
a lot of kids sort of struggle going to
because they don't want other kids knowing
420
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,420
that they're, you know, seeing the well
being team or seeing the psychologist.
421
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,584
I would suggest, you know, choose that
one teacher that you feel comfortable,
422
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:12,094
usually most kids have one teacher that
they love talking to, that's a role model
423
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:14,774
for me at school as my year 12 PE teacher.
424
00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:16,935
So option A would probably be
obviously go to the well being
425
00:19:16,935 --> 00:19:17,915
team and the welfare team.
426
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:21,094
But if you don't feel comfortable going
to them or don't want to have, you
427
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:24,455
know, the stigma associated with seeing
them, then definitely choose the one
428
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,604
teacher, whether it's male or female,
that you feel comfortable in talking
429
00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:29,504
to about your personal life for sure.
430
00:19:29,695 --> 00:19:31,619
And then they'll refer you
on to the help that you need.
431
00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:33,168
If it needs to go
432
00:19:33,168 --> 00:19:38,920
further and tell me running a charity,
why it's parody, it's hard work.
433
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:39,910
Yeah.
434
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,799
So there's a lot more work
than we initially thought.
435
00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:43,480
I'll tell you that it's,
it's pretty full on.
436
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,780
We just jumped from a small size
charity to a medium size charity
437
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:50,040
earlier this year, but from the get
go, we want it to be transparent
438
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,530
with where all the money was going.
439
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:55,110
We never want it to look like three
guys that we're trying to make an
440
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,860
impact in the mental health space that
we're also trying to make money off it.
441
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,190
So working in a charity, we'll have
our own awards and standards in
442
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,560
regards to what we get paid for.
443
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,990
It also helps with sort of growing
our message and spreading our message.
444
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:08,820
So it helps with grants and
people doing fundraisers.
445
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:12,189
We now have a DGR status too,
so people can donate and it can
446
00:20:12,189 --> 00:20:13,470
be tax deductible, which helps.
447
00:20:14,075 --> 00:20:16,305
And it sort of helps with, you know,
philanthropic money and all that
448
00:20:16,305 --> 00:20:18,465
sort of stuff, which you wouldn't get
if you were just a normal business.
449
00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:22,825
So I think, yeah, transparency is the main
one and then it helps us with fundraising
450
00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:24,525
and donations, which has been huge for us.
451
00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:29,905
And do you engage a grant rather than
a channel overall to assist with that?
452
00:20:30,174 --> 00:20:30,504
Yeah.
453
00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:32,395
So being a charity, we've
got an advisory board.
454
00:20:32,494 --> 00:20:37,565
So we've got, I think there's eight people
on the board now, six to eight people.
455
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:40,625
They're all amazing business
professionals that have been
456
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,105
professionals in their field for years.
457
00:20:42,419 --> 00:20:45,050
So I've got one individual, Daryl,
who's been with us pretty much from
458
00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:48,989
the get go, who helps us write the
grant, um, applications and all the
459
00:20:48,989 --> 00:20:50,239
stuff for the philanthropic stuff.
460
00:20:50,239 --> 00:20:53,549
I'm not a great writer myself, so
he's definitely helped us for sure.
461
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:57,139
So yeah, we're really lucky to have
the board members on our team and they
462
00:20:57,139 --> 00:20:59,839
sort of provide us with, you know,
the professional tips that we need.
463
00:21:00,329 --> 00:21:04,209
And how did you decide
who you put on the board?
464
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:05,899
Yeah, yeah, it was a tough one.
465
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:09,169
So Beck, as I said before, was the
first lady that reached out and
466
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,700
then she sort of introduced us to.
467
00:21:11,499 --> 00:21:12,370
Two more people.
468
00:21:12,409 --> 00:21:15,469
So Ricky Johnson is one who
we knew through 40 connections
469
00:21:15,469 --> 00:21:16,350
and then Darryl Putin.
470
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,830
So we had them for, I think
the first year and a half.
471
00:21:20,139 --> 00:21:23,550
And then we sort of reflected and
realized that we needed people
472
00:21:23,589 --> 00:21:24,820
in the mental health space.
473
00:21:24,879 --> 00:21:28,789
We needed an accountant, we needed
a lawyer and then we had another
474
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:31,409
connection who was just like sort
of an entrepreneur background.
475
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,500
So we added, yeah, four more people
to the start to the board this year
476
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,700
who have sort of come from different
fields compared to Beck, Ricky
477
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:39,940
and Dara, who have been awesome.
478
00:21:40,329 --> 00:21:42,090
And they've just been people
that we get along with too.
479
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:45,379
So we never wanted to bring on
someone from the board that we
480
00:21:45,379 --> 00:21:48,140
haven't connected with personally
and don't get along with personally.
481
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,989
And the board that we have at
the moment is a really good team.
482
00:21:51,479 --> 00:21:54,139
Because it really is a relationship
that you're actually having
483
00:21:54,139 --> 00:21:55,240
with a board member, isn't it?
484
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,810
Yeah, it's crucial.
485
00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:57,130
Yeah.
486
00:21:57,170 --> 00:21:58,669
And they're an advisory board.
487
00:21:58,669 --> 00:22:01,619
So they just advise us on what
they think we should be doing.
488
00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:01,669
Yeah.
489
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,430
Which is awesome because we've got all
the ideas and sort of where we want Speak
490
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,220
Share to go and how we want to get there.
491
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:10,470
And they sort of help us on, you know,
the logistics behind it and the laws
492
00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:12,300
behind it and all that sort of stuff.
493
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,290
So, we didn't study business at uni.
494
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,090
Probably wish I did.
495
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:16,580
I should probably go
back and study business.
496
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,589
But they help us with, you know, the
business direction, the strategy.
497
00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:22,625
Budgets and all that sort of stuff,
which, yeah, we didn't have too much idea
498
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:23,925
about when we started speaking to you.
499
00:22:24,055 --> 00:22:27,645
And it sounds like you've surrounded
yourself with people who have
500
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:31,755
complimentary skills on the board
that can assist you with those steps.
501
00:22:32,735 --> 00:22:33,455
Yeah, for sure.
502
00:22:33,494 --> 00:22:33,764
Yeah.
503
00:22:33,764 --> 00:22:37,304
So as I said before, we've got a lawyer,
an accountant, who else do we have?
504
00:22:37,304 --> 00:22:39,034
Daryl's a business consultant.
505
00:22:39,044 --> 00:22:41,425
Beck has worked in the
youth field for years.
506
00:22:41,725 --> 00:22:43,774
Ricky used to work at the Brotherhood
of St Lawrence, but it's been in
507
00:22:43,774 --> 00:22:44,955
the corporate world for years.
508
00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:50,090
And Damian Merchant has just become, from
an entrepreneur, short of background,
509
00:22:50,090 --> 00:22:51,730
has started a lot of his own businesses.
510
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:54,749
So just, yeah, made a good mix of,
you know, business professionals
511
00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:55,919
and people from different fields.
512
00:22:56,249 --> 00:23:02,579
And tell me, how has your relationship,
as the three of you, changed during
513
00:23:02,619 --> 00:23:08,950
this sort of evolution of the business
from a small Charity to a media charity
514
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:13,030
and really where you first started
out and that was just three months.
515
00:23:13,930 --> 00:23:14,460
Yeah, yeah.
516
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,769
It's had a massive shift.
517
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,600
Like when we started speaking
to you, I think we would have
518
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,709
been, I would have been 21, 22.
519
00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:20,824
So.
520
00:23:21,115 --> 00:23:25,075
A relatively immature, probably
three best mates that, you know, just
521
00:23:25,075 --> 00:23:28,455
loved going out and having fun and
carrying on as, as young kids do.
522
00:23:29,145 --> 00:23:32,294
But yeah, the growth of Speak Share
and the rapid growth that it has
523
00:23:32,294 --> 00:23:35,675
had has definitely matured us as, as
people, but it has been challenging.
524
00:23:35,685 --> 00:23:39,285
You know, you walk up to work with
your two best mates every day and
525
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:42,075
you've got a business that you've
got to run and you know, we have to
526
00:23:42,075 --> 00:23:43,965
pay our own mortgages and stuff too.
527
00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:47,885
So it has been hard sort of putting
the friendship aside and putting your
528
00:23:47,925 --> 00:23:49,585
business hat on when you do come to work.
529
00:23:49,585 --> 00:23:53,115
And, um, I think it will be a challenge
sort of moving forward to is, you know,
530
00:23:53,205 --> 00:23:57,465
try not to fracture your friendship
relationship and make sure that your
531
00:23:57,625 --> 00:24:00,734
friendship and your business relationship
are booming at the same time, which is
532
00:24:00,734 --> 00:24:04,234
hard to do and speak to a lot of people
that have started businesses with their
533
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:06,304
friends and some are still blooming.
534
00:24:06,305 --> 00:24:08,254
Some have, you know,
fractured their relationships.
535
00:24:08,804 --> 00:24:11,955
It's purely from going into a business
together, but the three of us have
536
00:24:11,955 --> 00:24:15,195
a great relationship, respect each
other a lot, and are pretty good
537
00:24:15,195 --> 00:24:17,875
at sort of, you know, being honest
with each other and showing our own
538
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:21,235
vulnerabilities, whether it's in our own
personal life or with business stuff.
539
00:24:21,235 --> 00:24:24,044
So yeah, we're pretty lucky that
the three of us are so close.
540
00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:25,364
Hopefully stays that way.
541
00:24:25,495 --> 00:24:26,244
We'll have to wait and see.
542
00:24:27,514 --> 00:24:28,794
Well, how do you end bed?
543
00:24:29,470 --> 00:24:31,010
self care you into that process.
544
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,590
So you're making sure that when you
rock up each day, regardless of what hat
545
00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:42,860
you're wearing, that you're presenting
the best self you can be in mind and body.
546
00:24:43,129 --> 00:24:44,050
Yeah, that's a good question.
547
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,359
We've been reflecting on that
recently, and it's probably something
548
00:24:46,399 --> 00:24:49,030
that we're not spending enough
time on is the self care piece.
549
00:24:49,129 --> 00:24:51,540
It's really hard too, because running
an organisation called Speak and
550
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:54,710
Share, everyone thinks we have mastered
like the mental health realm and
551
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,520
you know, the power of vulnerability
and that we're always, Open to being
552
00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,710
vulnerable, but it's something that we
have to work on in our own lives, too.
553
00:25:02,330 --> 00:25:05,550
For me personally, like as I said
before, moving my body is really crucial.
554
00:25:05,569 --> 00:25:09,689
So I'll make sure that before work
I'll either go to the gym or move my
555
00:25:09,689 --> 00:25:13,109
body or take my dog for a walk and
that puts me in a really good mindset.
556
00:25:13,109 --> 00:25:17,580
And then once I leave work, I'll either
go to the gym on the way home or listen
557
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:21,020
to a podcast or some music that I like
to listen to before I get home to my
558
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,330
partner and make sure that I'm not in a
grumpy mood when I get home from work,
559
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,690
but it's just sort of an ongoing battle.
560
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:26,939
We're always at schools, too.
561
00:25:26,939 --> 00:25:27,059
So.
562
00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:29,790
When we go to a school, you know,
we've got to be full of energy.
563
00:25:29,790 --> 00:25:32,120
So it's, it's crucial that we're
filling up our own cups sort of
564
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,290
before we get to a school to.
565
00:25:33,774 --> 00:25:36,845
You know, tell an educate 60
kids on how they have to speak
566
00:25:36,845 --> 00:25:37,834
and share in their own lives.
567
00:25:38,185 --> 00:25:41,284
And there's like a performance every
time you have to go and do that.
568
00:25:41,754 --> 00:25:42,585
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
569
00:25:42,585 --> 00:25:43,004
It's awesome.
570
00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:46,704
Fun doing the programs pretty draining,
but yeah, energy is the biggest one.
571
00:25:46,704 --> 00:25:49,324
You know, when I was at school,
had a range of people that would
572
00:25:49,324 --> 00:25:52,744
come out and speak to my cohort
that didn't have the energy or.
573
00:25:53,255 --> 00:25:55,295
That was probably required and
you zone off pretty quickly.
574
00:25:55,295 --> 00:25:58,465
So it's crucial that three of us and
our facilitators go out to schools
575
00:25:58,465 --> 00:26:00,885
and we're full of energy and the kids
actually want to listen to us because
576
00:26:00,885 --> 00:26:03,835
we're engaging, but it definitely
drains your battery at the same time.
577
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:09,684
And do you use or do any of you use
like meditation, like something to
578
00:26:09,685 --> 00:26:12,574
slow you down to also fill your cup?
579
00:26:12,575 --> 00:26:12,688
Yeah.
580
00:26:12,688 --> 00:26:12,801
I've
581
00:26:12,801 --> 00:26:14,758
started journaling last couple of weeks.
582
00:26:14,758 --> 00:26:16,555
I've started journaling,
which has really helped.
583
00:26:16,815 --> 00:26:18,085
Podcast is a big one for me.
584
00:26:18,085 --> 00:26:21,595
I love listening to podcasts and people's
stories similar to what we're doing today
585
00:26:22,439 --> 00:26:25,769
Learn about what people have been through
and how they've got through those things.
586
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,669
But yeah, journaling's been a big one
for me, which I've really enjoyed doing.
587
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,310
I do struggle switching off.
588
00:26:30,310 --> 00:26:33,459
So meditation is something that I like to
do, but I feel like when I meditate, my
589
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:35,099
brain just goes a million miles an hour.
590
00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:35,289
And I.
591
00:26:35,689 --> 00:26:39,159
Don't settle it down like it should,
but yeah, journaling is one and moving
592
00:26:39,209 --> 00:26:41,899
my body, love moving my body and
going for a walk or going for a run.
593
00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:44,419
And tell me, what is
it that you like about
594
00:26:44,419 --> 00:26:45,199
journaling?
595
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:48,620
I think it's just expressing your
thoughts and, you know, flicking back
596
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,740
on, on the previous pages and previous
weeks and see how far you've come
597
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,919
and you know, how you've been feeling
and why you've been feeling that way.
598
00:26:55,370 --> 00:26:58,290
It's different to talking to, like
you're in your own little space with
599
00:26:58,290 --> 00:27:01,320
your book and your pen, your phone's
not with you or your laptop's not with
600
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,850
you and you can sort of get down how
you're honestly and really feeling.
601
00:27:04,350 --> 00:27:06,650
And I just, I like handwriting
too, my handwriting is not that
602
00:27:06,830 --> 00:27:09,850
neat, but I love just getting
things down on a piece of paper.
603
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,110
It is a beautiful experience, isn't it?
604
00:27:12,140 --> 00:27:17,469
When you can actually see something and
it kind of flows out of you onto paper
605
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:22,450
and it's kind of there and it's no longer
kind of being held in the actual body.
606
00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:24,530
For sure, you just feel like you've
got the monkey coming off your
607
00:27:24,530 --> 00:27:27,470
back and spend so much time on your
laptop and on your phone and on
608
00:27:27,470 --> 00:27:28,770
social media and texting people.
609
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:31,915
So it's nice to, you know, put those
aside and, Spend some time thinking
610
00:27:31,975 --> 00:27:34,385
on yourself and getting those
thoughts down on a piece of paper.
611
00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:36,795
And how long have you been journaling for?
612
00:27:37,165 --> 00:27:38,995
Uh, roughly about six
months, so not too long.
613
00:27:39,474 --> 00:27:44,175
But still, that's enough to
actually look back and reflect.
614
00:27:44,495 --> 00:27:44,845
Yeah.
615
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:46,005
It's definitely enough.
616
00:27:46,005 --> 00:27:46,915
I wish I did it earlier.
617
00:27:47,115 --> 00:27:49,335
I know my mum and my dad
have sort of started writing.
618
00:27:49,879 --> 00:27:53,149
Their own like autobiography, which
is something that I want to do.
619
00:27:53,199 --> 00:27:56,639
Cause yeah, dad always said like
when his dad passed away, his dad had
620
00:27:56,669 --> 00:28:00,260
amazing stories that he always used
to tell, but dad has forgotten them.
621
00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:01,920
So I'd love to, you know, my kids.
622
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,820
When I pass eventually, which is
hopefully a few years down the
623
00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:07,400
track, but they can pick up my book
and say what I've gone through and
624
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,750
how I got through those challenges.
625
00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:09,190
Yeah.
626
00:28:09,190 --> 00:28:10,110
That's amazing.
627
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:16,040
And as you mentioned, you all started
off as sort of 2021 and probably
628
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,160
single at that stage I'm assuming.
629
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,560
And now you've got partners.
630
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:23,410
That's an evolution in itself.
631
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:26,240
How has that evolved with speak and share?
632
00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:27,240
Yeah.
633
00:28:27,450 --> 00:28:29,990
Nath had his girlfriend, Maddie,
which he still has now at that time.
634
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,990
Mace was single, still is single.
635
00:28:32,990 --> 00:28:35,940
I was single and now have a
partner and a house and a dog.
636
00:28:35,940 --> 00:28:38,270
So my life has definitely changed.
637
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,040
Yeah, there's a bit going on.
638
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,640
So I bought a house in January, um, which
has been awesome with my partner Tegan.
639
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:43,779
But.
640
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:47,740
Yeah, it has been a challenge running your
own business is incredibly taxing and I
641
00:28:47,740 --> 00:28:51,049
struggle sort of switching off from the
business and, you know, getting home and
642
00:28:51,049 --> 00:28:54,439
purely switching off and spending quality
time with my partner, but that's yeah,
643
00:28:54,439 --> 00:28:59,009
an ongoing battle, but yeah, maturity
levels have definitely changed since we
644
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:00,679
got off the plane to Darwin, we got home.
645
00:29:00,679 --> 00:29:01,479
I can tell you that much.
646
00:29:02,024 --> 00:29:05,554
Yeah, I'm sure that the Xbox
doesn't get used any longer.
647
00:29:06,105 --> 00:29:07,304
Nah, PlayStation died.
648
00:29:07,304 --> 00:29:08,794
I don't even have one at my house anymore.
649
00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:09,665
No, I have a TV.
650
00:29:10,574 --> 00:29:13,345
Yeah, I used to spend a fair bit of
time on the PlayStation, but don't
651
00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:15,544
have too much time for that anymore,
which is probably a good thing.
652
00:29:16,014 --> 00:29:17,924
I'm not going to comment, but yeah.
653
00:29:18,494 --> 00:29:20,435
Yeah, they're no good, the PlayStations.
654
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:25,145
Now you talk about everlasting change that
you'd like to see within the community.
655
00:29:25,485 --> 00:29:26,824
What does that look like for you?
656
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:29,485
Yeah, for us, we just want
people that speak and share
657
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:30,764
moving forward into the future.
658
00:29:30,764 --> 00:29:30,995
Sorry.
659
00:29:31,365 --> 00:29:33,935
You know, hopefully we get to a stage
in 20 years when speaking chair doesn't
660
00:29:33,935 --> 00:29:37,004
exist and people will just talk about
their mental health and it's just a
661
00:29:37,004 --> 00:29:38,655
topic that is openly spoken about.
662
00:29:39,024 --> 00:29:41,534
But unfortunately there's a lot of
work that has to be done in the space.
663
00:29:41,554 --> 00:29:44,044
The suicide rates are through the
roof and they're pretty alarming.
664
00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,310
And there's a lot of kids at
school that are still struggling.
665
00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:49,650
So yeah, creating the everlasting
changes, you know, the youth coming
666
00:29:49,650 --> 00:29:52,240
through now will hopefully have
kids and they'll be vulnerable with
667
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,360
their kids and get the conversation
started before it is too late.
668
00:29:55,810 --> 00:29:58,720
And we just want to be a preventative
mental health organization.
669
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,539
So getting these conversations started
when the kids are young and educating
670
00:30:01,540 --> 00:30:05,080
them on the strategies, when you start
feeling anxious, this is who you can talk
671
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,800
to, and this is how you can go about it
compared to being a reactive one when
672
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,800
someone's suicidal and they feel like
they can't live their life anymore.
673
00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:14,000
So just getting these
conversations started.
674
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:14,070
So.
675
00:30:14,685 --> 00:30:17,635
The youth starts talking about it,
they'll grow up, continue talking about
676
00:30:17,635 --> 00:30:20,665
it, have their own kids and, you know,
push to speak and share messages on
677
00:30:20,665 --> 00:30:21,855
their own kids once they have kids.
678
00:30:22,145 --> 00:30:26,475
And when we're thinking about the
change that you're facilitating in
679
00:30:26,475 --> 00:30:31,325
those generations, have you started
thinking about, or are you already
680
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:36,695
measuring your metrics about who
you're talking to, what the impact is?
681
00:30:37,005 --> 00:30:37,525
Yeah, yeah.
682
00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:39,395
So through the social media
stuff, we get analytics.
683
00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:40,210
from all our posts.
684
00:30:40,220 --> 00:30:42,560
So we can see, you know, how many people
have shared it, how many people have
685
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,200
liked it, commented on it, et cetera.
686
00:30:44,430 --> 00:30:47,630
And then through our programs, we
have a program survey feedback form,
687
00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:49,090
which participants will fill out.
688
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:51,169
So that's got eight to
nine questions on it.
689
00:30:51,389 --> 00:30:52,779
Sort of, how did you feel walking in?
690
00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:53,910
How did you feel walking out?
691
00:30:53,910 --> 00:30:55,709
Do you feel more comfortable
speaking and sharing?
692
00:30:56,069 --> 00:30:58,140
Would you now be confident
seeing a psychologist?
693
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,830
And the feedback that we're getting
from the programs has been awesome.
694
00:31:00,830 --> 00:31:04,315
So Yeah, the work we're doing is
working, which is really cool to see.
695
00:31:04,825 --> 00:31:06,015
Yeah, that's fantastic.
696
00:31:06,505 --> 00:31:09,705
So Ben, have you done anything
to prepare for your own death?
697
00:31:10,275 --> 00:31:11,095
For my own death?
698
00:31:11,305 --> 00:31:13,395
That is a scary question.
699
00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,104
I don't like thinking about death.
700
00:31:15,105 --> 00:31:18,005
It sort of streaks me out thinking
about, you know, your life ending.
701
00:31:18,035 --> 00:31:20,254
I haven't done anything to
prepare for my own death.
702
00:31:20,314 --> 00:31:21,664
I'm still 25, so.
703
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:23,635
What's the average average age now?
704
00:31:23,635 --> 00:31:24,070
Is it 80?
705
00:31:24,265 --> 00:31:25,345
80 something, 70 something?
706
00:31:25,345 --> 00:31:28,195
Yes, but hopefully I
still have 50 years left.
707
00:31:28,195 --> 00:31:31,405
But no, I haven't done, haven't done
anything to prepare for my own death.
708
00:31:31,405 --> 00:31:32,125
I probably should.
709
00:31:32,365 --> 00:31:34,735
I don't have too much money in my own
account, so there's not too much to be
710
00:31:34,735 --> 00:31:36,355
spread to my partners and my siblings.
711
00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:38,305
But yeah, it's probably
something I need to look into.
712
00:31:38,455 --> 00:31:39,985
Did you just say you had a mortgage?
713
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:41,730
And a dog.
714
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,390
I do.
715
00:31:42,390 --> 00:31:42,780
Yeah.
716
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,100
Yeah.
717
00:31:43,130 --> 00:31:46,400
So the dog, I'd assume that my
partner Tegan would take that.
718
00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:49,179
I might have to put that in writing and
then the house, she can obviously have
719
00:31:49,179 --> 00:31:52,070
the house and then I don't have too much
money left over in the account after
720
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,909
that so they can go to my brothers or
my sisters, but yeah, it's probably,
721
00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:56,750
probably something that I should
722
00:31:58,025 --> 00:32:02,015
And something that always surprises
me since I've been following
723
00:32:02,025 --> 00:32:08,235
you has been your campaigns and
social media, how do you use that?
724
00:32:08,485 --> 00:32:11,245
And obviously that's been key in growing.
725
00:32:11,565 --> 00:32:13,145
Yeah, I think we're pretty lucky.
726
00:32:13,195 --> 00:32:16,004
We started the, the Instagram
platform during the COVID lockdown.
727
00:32:16,005 --> 00:32:19,515
So kids and most people in
the community were spending a
728
00:32:19,515 --> 00:32:20,525
lot of time on their phones.
729
00:32:20,535 --> 00:32:20,775
So.
730
00:32:21,225 --> 00:32:25,135
really capitalized on that and
made some engaging and humorous
731
00:32:25,165 --> 00:32:26,425
content, which people enjoyed.
732
00:32:26,425 --> 00:32:28,945
And I think it's just attraction
that you get from social media.
733
00:32:28,945 --> 00:32:31,655
Like we have a lot of people around the
country that are following us that like
734
00:32:31,655 --> 00:32:36,685
our message and you know, we can tap into
networks that we can't present to as of
735
00:32:36,685 --> 00:32:40,164
yet and just creates an online community
where people feel valued and a part
736
00:32:40,165 --> 00:32:41,715
of the journey, which is really cool.
737
00:32:42,055 --> 00:32:45,445
But then there seems to
be almost like a favor.
738
00:32:46,205 --> 00:32:49,795
When your items of
merchandise get released.
739
00:32:50,175 --> 00:32:50,445
Yeah.
740
00:32:50,445 --> 00:32:50,655
Yeah.
741
00:32:50,655 --> 00:32:53,015
So we like to use like
a hot model it's called.
742
00:32:53,015 --> 00:32:57,114
So what we usually do is, as I said
before, I drop usually once a month.
743
00:32:57,154 --> 00:33:01,175
So we'll dedicate a hoodie to someone
in their story and then sell X amount
744
00:33:01,175 --> 00:33:02,425
of hoodies, which usually sell out.
745
00:33:02,425 --> 00:33:05,954
And then the side of this year we created
a core range because there were too
746
00:33:05,954 --> 00:33:09,274
many people that were frustrated with
constantly missing out on the hoodies.
747
00:33:09,275 --> 00:33:09,295
So.
748
00:33:09,735 --> 00:33:12,295
We created a core range,
which is also now sold out,
749
00:33:12,295 --> 00:33:13,555
unfortunately, but it's coming back.
750
00:33:13,715 --> 00:33:16,415
We can jump on and grab a
hoodie or a t shirt or a hat and
751
00:33:16,475 --> 00:33:17,485
feel a part of the community.
752
00:33:17,485 --> 00:33:20,405
But yeah, it's something that we've
struggled with keeping up with the demand.
753
00:33:20,585 --> 00:33:23,845
When we started Speak Share, we
chipped in a bit of money each.
754
00:33:23,845 --> 00:33:27,364
I think it was like two grand and sort
of, you know, trying to grow that and
755
00:33:27,364 --> 00:33:30,955
flip it over and create more hoodies
and diversify the range of the products.
756
00:33:30,955 --> 00:33:35,225
But yeah, keeping up with the hype
and the demand for the products has
757
00:33:35,225 --> 00:33:37,575
been really hard, which has been
really overwhelming, to be honest.
758
00:33:38,230 --> 00:33:41,520
Yeah, you've created your
own worst enemy to a degree.
759
00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:42,850
Yeah, definitely.
760
00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:45,270
I know there's a few parents that we
used to teach their kids that aren't
761
00:33:45,310 --> 00:33:47,659
too happy, especially in the first
year and a half, they kept missing
762
00:33:47,659 --> 00:33:50,150
out on the hoodies, but we're trying,
we're trying to keep up with the demand
763
00:33:50,150 --> 00:33:53,180
at the same time from a
marketing perspective.
764
00:33:53,380 --> 00:33:54,390
It's just brilliant.
765
00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:55,100
Yeah.
766
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,729
It's pretty true to have, I don't know
how long the hike will keep going.
767
00:33:57,729 --> 00:34:00,480
Hopefully 20 years, but
we'll have to wait and see.
768
00:34:00,980 --> 00:34:04,044
And looking towards those next 20 years.
769
00:34:04,425 --> 00:34:05,755
Tell me, what do you see?
770
00:34:06,255 --> 00:34:07,175
Yeah, it's a tough question.
771
00:34:07,305 --> 00:34:10,035
We want to be one of the most
impactful mental health preventative
772
00:34:10,035 --> 00:34:11,255
organizations in the country.
773
00:34:11,555 --> 00:34:13,714
So we want to see our programs nationwide.
774
00:34:13,715 --> 00:34:16,755
We want to have a diverse range
of sort of program offerings.
775
00:34:16,755 --> 00:34:19,695
I want to get into the primary space,
which we're not yet working in.
776
00:34:20,095 --> 00:34:23,634
Want our community events to be
nationwide and hopefully globally one day.
777
00:34:23,635 --> 00:34:26,600
We have a lot of people in America
that following our message.
778
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,790
So we just want everyone speaking
and sharing and um, growing our
779
00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:31,900
message to as far and wide as we can.
780
00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:35,399
And do you need financial
support to make that happen?
781
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,309
Like, what do you need in the
next two years to start taking
782
00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:41,219
you where you want to go?
783
00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:44,229
Yeah, financial support
is obviously a huge thing.
784
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,140
So it definitely capped us in the
first two ish years, but now I've
785
00:34:47,140 --> 00:34:48,610
got a couple of philanthropic groups.
786
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,770
And large donors, which had been
awesome and helped us, you know,
787
00:34:51,830 --> 00:34:53,170
grow and spread our message.
788
00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,250
But for us to go to the next
level, we need serious funding.
789
00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:59,299
We've caught up with a range of
politicians who sort of promised
790
00:34:59,299 --> 00:35:01,889
the world, and we haven't really got
any government funding as of yet.
791
00:35:01,890 --> 00:35:04,709
We've had one small grant, which
I think was about 10 grand for a
792
00:35:04,709 --> 00:35:05,809
movement club we wanted to run.
793
00:35:05,809 --> 00:35:09,360
But yeah, to speak and share, to get
towards where we want it to get, we
794
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,550
need quite a serious amount of funding.
795
00:35:11,550 --> 00:35:11,610
So.
796
00:35:12,145 --> 00:35:14,285
Hopefully we get there, but
we'll just have to wait and see.
797
00:35:14,765 --> 00:35:17,935
So when you say serious amount of
funding, what would that be for you?
798
00:35:18,435 --> 00:35:18,775
Yeah.
799
00:35:18,775 --> 00:35:23,724
So for next year, I think we'll
need, I think our revenue will be
800
00:35:23,864 --> 00:35:25,564
one, I think it's just over one mil.
801
00:35:25,565 --> 00:35:26,394
So 1.
802
00:35:26,395 --> 00:35:28,854
1 and our expenditure through our program.
803
00:35:28,864 --> 00:35:32,625
So we want to get to a stage where
our programs are fully subsidized.
804
00:35:32,635 --> 00:35:35,015
So they're pretty much for free
for schools and sporting clubs.
805
00:35:35,375 --> 00:35:37,835
And for that, we'd need
roughly around 900 K.
806
00:35:37,835 --> 00:35:37,945
So.
807
00:35:38,465 --> 00:35:41,285
It's a lot of money, but yeah, working
with philanthropic groups, I think
808
00:35:41,285 --> 00:35:44,415
we'll be able to get, you know, that
sort of money into the system so we
809
00:35:44,415 --> 00:35:47,485
can then go and run these programs for
schools and sporting clubs that need it.
810
00:35:47,695 --> 00:35:51,874
And have you been partnering with
these existing organizations as well?
811
00:35:52,395 --> 00:35:53,244
Yeah, we've done a fair bit.
812
00:35:53,244 --> 00:35:56,035
So I've done a lot with Headspace in
Frankston who have been a huge support.
813
00:35:56,425 --> 00:35:59,335
We've got a couple of mates that are up
on Queen in Queensland that run their
814
00:35:59,335 --> 00:36:01,535
own sort of mental health organization.
815
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,085
So one's called the Good Human Factory.
816
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,350
He's a pro ex surfer, so Krupa
Chapman, he's an awesome guy, and
817
00:36:06,630 --> 00:36:09,420
I've caught up with a range of others
just to sort of pick their brains
818
00:36:09,450 --> 00:36:12,609
and see how they go about things, and
especially in the school space, how
819
00:36:12,609 --> 00:36:16,389
they go about program bookings and
facilitators and all that sort of stuff.
820
00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:19,409
I think there definitely needs to be
more collaboration within the space.
821
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,820
It's sad, but it feels like people are
almost competing against each other,
822
00:36:23,190 --> 00:36:24,520
where it shouldn't be a competition.
823
00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:27,340
You know, we're all sort of working
towards the same goal of either
824
00:36:27,340 --> 00:36:30,210
lowering suicide statistics or
getting people speaking and sharing.
825
00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:33,399
So it's definitely something that
we have realized is that it's
826
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,900
almost like a competition in the
mental health space, which is sad.
827
00:36:36,299 --> 00:36:38,470
And yet we're more than happy
to collaborate with whoever.
828
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,560
We just want more people talking
about their mental health
829
00:36:40,870 --> 00:36:42,210
and looking after themselves.
830
00:36:42,695 --> 00:36:43,305
Yeah.
831
00:36:43,855 --> 00:36:47,675
And tell me, do you have any
further advice that you'd like to
832
00:36:47,675 --> 00:36:51,235
actually impart, you know, share?
833
00:36:51,745 --> 00:36:54,155
Yeah, I think the biggest thing is just
checking with the people around you.
834
00:36:54,305 --> 00:36:56,215
So everyone's got the happy
friend, the sad friend.
835
00:36:56,225 --> 00:36:58,555
There's a range of friends that I'm
sure people have in their social
836
00:36:58,555 --> 00:37:00,174
group or your kids or your parents.
837
00:37:00,285 --> 00:37:01,524
Just that constant check in.
838
00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:03,074
People vary from day to day.
839
00:37:03,084 --> 00:37:05,715
Some people might have a great day and the
next day they might not be feeling great.
840
00:37:05,715 --> 00:37:09,905
So just that constant check in and as I
said before, honesty is the best policy.
841
00:37:09,915 --> 00:37:11,794
So if you notice that, you
know, one of your friends or
842
00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:12,724
your parents or your family.
843
00:37:13,035 --> 00:37:15,805
Your kids have been struggling, maybe
just ask a question and be honest with
844
00:37:15,805 --> 00:37:18,835
them and show your vulnerabilities too
because a lot of people respect that.
845
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:21,904
And how can people donate
to what you're doing Ben?
846
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:23,310
Yeah, through the website.
847
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,410
So www.
848
00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:25,030
speakandshare.
849
00:37:25,050 --> 00:37:28,890
com there's a donate button and then
we can provide you with the DGR status
850
00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:30,940
receipt so you can claim it back on tax.
851
00:37:30,990 --> 00:37:33,560
And if you're not following our
Instagram, jump onto the Instagram,
852
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,870
it's speak double underscore share,
post a lot of content through there
853
00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,100
and updates on programs and events too.
854
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:39,810
Yeah.
855
00:37:39,810 --> 00:37:42,100
And the stories are really quite moving.
856
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:46,880
So thank you so much for what you
and Mason and Nathan are doing.
857
00:37:47,580 --> 00:37:48,590
Nah, it's an absolute pleasure.
858
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,067
Thank you for having
859
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:51,225
me, Catherine.
860
00:37:51,225 --> 00:37:52,383
Thanks, Ben.
861
00:37:52,383 --> 00:37:56,629
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,
862
00:37:56,940 --> 00:37:58,510
brought to you by Critical Info.
863
00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:03,059
If you liked the episode, learnt
something new, or were touched by
864
00:38:03,059 --> 00:38:04,054
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865
00:38:04,055 --> 00:38:05,675
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866
00:38:05,795 --> 00:38:09,425
Send us an email, even tell
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867
00:38:09,425 --> 00:38:11,165
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868
00:38:11,315 --> 00:38:15,485
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869
00:38:15,485 --> 00:38:17,225
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870
00:38:17,525 --> 00:38:18,845
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871
00:38:18,995 --> 00:38:19,985
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872
00:38:19,985 --> 00:38:23,915
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873
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Read Less
Resources
- Donate to Speak and Share: Visit www.speakandshare.com and click the donate button (tax-deductible).
- Follow their journey: Check out their Instagram @speak__share for updates, events, and inspiring content.
- Spread the message: Start conversations about mental health in your community and be the change you want to see.
- My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?
Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. Download it here.
- Support Services
If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here.