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About this episode
In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into the heart of Aboriginal funeral traditions with Kaneesha Wise from the Aboriginal Advancement League and the Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service. Kaneesha shares powerful insights into the cultural significance of Aboriginal funerals, the challenges faced by families, and the vital role of community support in honouring the deceased.
From the importance of returning to Country for a proper burial to the intricate beliefs surrounding the journey to the Dreaming, Kaneesha paints a vivid picture of Aboriginal death customs. She emphasises the holistic approach taken by Aboriginal organisations in supporting not just the individual, but the entire family network during times of loss. Kaneesha also opens up about her personal experiences with grief, sharing touching anecdotes about keeping loved ones' memories alive through simple yet meaningful gestures.
Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.
Take care,
Catherine
Show notes
Guest Bio
Wemba-Wemba/ Nari-Nari Women from the Aboriginal Advancement League and the Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Services
Kaneesha (middle), with Mia (the one in the orange) and La'Kira.
Kaneesha Wise proud Wemba-Wemba/ Nari-Nari women, mother of 4, 3 beautiful girls 16yrs, 12yrs, 4yrs and a beautiful baby boy 2yrs.
Kaneesha explains: "I have 2 sisters, 8 nieces and nephews. Come from a long line of strong connections to family, culture and Country. I am a single mum after I lost my partner 2 and half years ago unexpectedly, I works 2 jobs and play and coach netball with both Narrm Angels and the Fitzroy Stars.
I have been at the Aborigines Advancement League for 12 going on 13 years and have been in several positions throughout these years. Home and community Care, Regional Assessment, Development Officer, Funeral service officer, Jobs Victoria Aboriginal Officer and currently the Elders Support Care Co-Ordinator.
The AAL was started in 1957 and is still going strong in supporting our community. We have several units (ATAR Aboriginal Tenants at risk, Family Support, CHSP Commonwealth home support program including the Lawn Maintenance Team and Home Support, First Nations Assessment Team, Gurwidj Neighbourhood house, VAFS Victorian aboriginal Funeral Service.
The funeral service has been supporting the Aboriginal community since the 1970's but has been programmed at the AAL since 1995".
Summary
Key Takeaways:
- The Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service provides culturally strong, community-based funerals and support for grieving families
- Aboriginal funeral traditions often involve Smoking ceremonies, gum leaves, and totems to help the deceased's journey to the Dreaming
- Financial challenges are a significant hurdle for many Aboriginal families in providing proper funerals
- Community support and presence are more valuable than material offerings during times of loss
- The importance of talking about deceased loved ones to keep their memory alive, especially for young children
- The Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service needs community support to continue providing essential services
Transcript
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There's people that bring flowers.
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There's people that give money.
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There's people that will buy
somebody something that they need.
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But I feel that at the end
of the day, the materialistic
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kind of stuff doesn't matter.
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It's your presence.
7... Read More
1
00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:02,910
There's people that bring flowers.
2
00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:03,990
There's people that give money.
3
00:00:04,030 --> 00:00:07,630
There's people that will buy
somebody something that they need.
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But I feel that at the end
of the day, the materialistic
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kind of stuff doesn't matter.
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It's your presence.
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I feel like somebody can have all the
money in the world, but the love and
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the care and the support that you have
within your community, within your
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family, you can't buy that with money.
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Welcome to Don't Be Caught Dead.
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A podcast encouraging open conversations
about dying and the death of a loved one.
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I'm your host, Katherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to
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bring your stories of death back to life.
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Because while you may not be ready to die.
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At least you can be prepared.
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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations
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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.
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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging, and extend
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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First
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Nation peoples around the globe.
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Today, I'm talking with Kanisha Wines.
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Kinesha works for the Aboriginal
Advancement League located in Thornbury,
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Melbourne, and she also supports the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
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The Victorian Aboriginal Funeral
Service provides community based
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cultural strong funerals and care
for grieving community members.
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It has been doing so since the 1970s.
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Their mortuary is actually located
in Clifton Hill and I really look
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forward to learning more about their
services and having a chat to Kinesha.
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Thanks for being with us today, Kinesha.
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Thank you for having me.
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Now, Kenisha, you work for the
Aboriginal Advancement League, but you've
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also do support as required for the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
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What made you start working
for these organisations?
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What motivated you?
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Oh, I originally started at the Aborigines
Advancement League or the AAL as a
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home and community care support worker.
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So I was hanging out with my elders,
taking them shopping, helping them clean
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their homes, taking them to appointments.
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So My passion and love are my elders in
the community, they're our storytellers,
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they're our matriarchs of knowledge
for all of us little young'uns.
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And then, it just so happened that the
job come available at the Victorian
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Aboriginal Funeral Service and my CEO,
Annie Esmaye, asked if I could go in and
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do it because she Really wanted to kind
of see how I would go in that regard.
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At first it was quite daunting and you
know, trying to keep all of your emotions.
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Cause the one thing about being
in an Aboriginal funeral service
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is you will be burying those that
you do know in the community.
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People that you've hung around when
you were younger, people that you
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see as your aunties and uncles.
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So when you're not working in that space,
you hear of the deaths and you hear of all
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of that type of stuff, but you're never
at the front of it with sitting with the
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families and discussing what's the best.
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And then you get super
anxious about making sure that
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these services are running.
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Very, very smoothly and I will say
I didn't sleep the night before
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a funeral cause I have a little
bit of OCD when it come to it.
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So I would think, did I do this?
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Did I do that?
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Yep.
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Tick, tick.
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Yep.
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That's done.
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Oh my gosh.
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So just making sure that the funeral
was completely organized to the point
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where I was pulling my hair out.
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But at the end of it, it was
all for the right reasons.
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The one thing I tell people is
a funeral isn't like a marriage.
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You can't redo it.
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It's something that is final
and it's something you can't
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redo if something stuffs up.
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So that's why I was so anxious.
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It was, I wanted to make sure it
was perfect, pretty much perfect.
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So.
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I was there for, I think it was at three,
four years, and then my heart took me back
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to my elders, which is where I am now.
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So, but because of my knowledge and
because I was there for so long in that
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space, I do help out when our workers are
on leave, or if they've got too many going
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at once, I'll step in and support them.
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So, Yeah.
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It's something that everybody
needs to kind of support and help.
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And can you describe for me what the
Aboriginal Advancement League does and
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then how does that connect with the
funeral service and why is it important?
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For someone who may not have any
experience or exposure to Aboriginal
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people, why is it significant to you
and the services that you provide?
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Why are they important to the
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community?
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So the Aborigines Advancement League is
what we call the mother organisation.
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She was created in 1957.
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To support Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander people.
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So she has been around for a long time.
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Currently at the moment, we
have a few units that support
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community in all different ways.
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So we have a neighborhood
house, which is called Gurwich.
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They provide support to women.
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She also does youth programs with
children through school holidays.
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That's run through Natasha.
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Then we have family support unit.
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We have two workers in there,
so they support those that are
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struggling with, you know, the
everyday life of, you know, finances.
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They support in gambling, they support
in drug alcohol, they support just
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if you're having a bad week and, you
know, you've had to pay multiple bills.
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They support with that, they have
a food bank, so there's access
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to food constantly here for that.
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They also have referral and links
in with a financial advisor.
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So we have Beautiful Carmel that
also can come in and support
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those that need that too.
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We have our Commonwealth
Home Support Program.
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Which is the CHISP unit.
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So that's supporting elders
staying in their home.
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So they provide home care support,
shopping support, social support, and at
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times transport to and from appointments.
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We also have the maintenance guy
that comes under them as well.
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So they do lawn maintenance
for those that can't do it in
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the community for the elders.
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They also have our HAC PYP, which
is home and community services.
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Community support for younger people.
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So those that are under 50 that do
have disabilities or they've got
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chronic health issues that they
can't do those daily tasks, we can
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also support them too in that unit.
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We have our regional assessment support.
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program.
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So Kalinda, so she would go and assess
the elders prior to them getting the
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services just to see what they're
actually needing or requiring.
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She would do referrals in to other
organizations like FAS, which is
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the Victorian Aboriginal Health
Service that provides all those
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allied health services like OTs,
um, physio, all that type of stuff.
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Then we have a ATAR unit, which
is Aboriginal Tenants at Risk.
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So those that are at risk of losing
their home, it may be they are behind
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in rent or their lawns are too overgrown
and they've got a lending estate
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that it needs to be done or else,
you know, there's their final notice.
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So we also have that program here.
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We've got a new program which is the
eldest care support program, which
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I am the coordinator of currently.
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So they are kind of the middleman
between the regional assessment unit.
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So we support those going through the
my age care and that process, cause
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it's quite difficult for our people.
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So we do also have other
organizations that are stemmed off us.
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So we have Lady Gladys Nichols hostile.
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It's now I hostile for.
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Youth that have got scholarships to
attend schools down here in Victoria,
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and they're from all over Australia.
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They stay at this hostel with a beautiful
couple, Andrew and Cara, and they
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support them through their schooling.
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And then the main one, which is the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
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It's been around for many, many years.
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We've had it since 1995.
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And The biggest thing about the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral
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Service is it's not funded.
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So we purely support our community
through donations, through the
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support of other organizations that
kind of, you know, link in with us.
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We do try to do as much
fundraisers as possible.
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I do remember years and years I would
have been little, but they used to do
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cabarets once a year and they'd hold
it here at the league or they'd hold
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it somewhere at a hall You know, it
was a chance for the community to get
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dolled up and enjoy a night, but it
cost them, you know, 10 bucks entry.
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And then everything else that
the proceeds went to the funeral
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service, there would be raffles
going around the local football,
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Fitzroy Stars, football games for the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
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So I feel like the community was
stronger back then, which made the
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service A little bit easier to navigate.
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Now it's a little bit harder.
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We had to change our name a few times
to get funding through government.
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So at one point it was the Victorian
Aboriginal Social Emotional Wellbeing
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Support Program, like it was, yeah.
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That's the mouthful.
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Yeah it was, and I thought what the,
but we had to do that so we could
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get the littlest funding that was
available under those criteria because
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there was no funding for funerals.
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Yeah, so you obviously had to make
the remit and the name cover as many
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things as possible to, I suppose,
see that you could access as many
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buckets of money as possible.
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Yes.
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Definitely.
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And look, I do say that
it's not free to die.
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It doesn't matter who you are, what
colour you are, where you come from.
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It is not free.
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But with that, nobody should
be buried like a pauper.
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Which is what our mob was happening to.
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There was no family present.
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It was a straight burial, unmarked graves.
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It was a big thing, which is
why the funeral service was
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created in the first place.
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But since it has, we've seen.
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We've stuck it out.
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We've been strong in advocating
for it and like I say, we do what
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we've got to do to get the job done.
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So
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what strikes me, Kinesha, is when
you're speaking and you're explaining
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the Aborigines Advancement League
is just how large it is what you do.
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So you mentioned that you actually
have a regional person that is
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responsible for the regional areas.
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What
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area do you cover?
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So we are Northwest Metro.
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Yeah, right.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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So.
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We cover all the way to Whittlesea,
then to the Melbourne CBD, there's
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a line that we cut off there because
then other people can jump on.
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We do have clients out in the West,
which is like Altona, Spotswood.
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There's a few people out that way too.
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So we don't like to kind of put a map
and a line that we can't do this for you.
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If an elder is actually in need and they
can't access services, in their area,
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then we'll definitely try our best to
try and manage to make sure that they
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are getting the support that they need.
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We don't like to tell them that we can't
do it because they're too far away.
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And that's the other thing that,
that when you're talking, you
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know, you're not talking about.
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other colleagues who, you know,
you may have met once or twice, you
210
00:11:39,224 --> 00:11:41,045
know, passing in the, the kitchen.
211
00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:44,535
When you're talking about the people
that you work with, your colleagues,
212
00:11:44,855 --> 00:11:49,084
you're mentioning them by name and
you're talking about your experience
213
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:53,334
of when you remember your involvement
with the league from very early on.
214
00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:56,544
So tell me for you, what
does the league represent?
215
00:11:56,634 --> 00:12:01,204
Because obviously you've been quite
involved with it all throughout your life.
216
00:12:01,384 --> 00:12:01,794
Yeah.
217
00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:04,644
Like I said, the league is
the mother organization.
218
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:09,665
It's been here for many, many years,
we've all come through, we've utilised
219
00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:11,565
it at least at one point in our lives.
220
00:12:11,895 --> 00:12:14,125
And it's a community based organization.
221
00:12:14,145 --> 00:12:15,875
We're here for the community.
222
00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:20,965
And that's what makes me happy
and proud to even be working in
223
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:23,844
this old girl, as we would say.
224
00:12:23,895 --> 00:12:27,455
The other thing too, is I see
that the coworkers here, cause
225
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,795
I haven't been here for so long.
226
00:12:29,144 --> 00:12:32,355
And some of them also, uh,
veterans like myself that.
227
00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:33,865
We're no longer colleagues.
228
00:12:33,885 --> 00:12:35,155
We are family.
229
00:12:35,315 --> 00:12:39,325
We support one another through work,
but we also support one another through
230
00:12:39,355 --> 00:12:41,595
community and through our lives at home.
231
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,945
And, you know, it's not like that
for everybody because some people
232
00:12:44,955 --> 00:12:48,605
have different views on how they
come to work and this is work.
233
00:12:48,675 --> 00:12:50,224
And that's, that's all good.
234
00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:51,234
That's chill.
235
00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,595
That's up to you, you know, but.
236
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:57,060
My dad always says you spend like a third
of your life at work, so you might as
237
00:12:57,060 --> 00:13:00,459
well be happy while you're there because
if you're not, it's time to go because
238
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:05,770
yeah, you spend so much of your time here
and I'm actually super happy and proud to
239
00:13:05,779 --> 00:13:10,780
be on one, this land and working in this
organization with the people that I do
240
00:13:10,849 --> 00:13:17,000
because I've built long life friendships
with them and, you know, Yeah, we support
241
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:21,400
one another daily and I think that's
a really good thing for our community.
242
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,909
We know that if they do come through
looking for those services, we're
243
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:27,569
all on the same page because we all
have the same goal and that's to
244
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,410
support the Aboriginal community.
245
00:13:29,899 --> 00:13:34,149
And tell me, you work directly with
the Elders within the community and you
246
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:38,190
We're mentioning that you sort of hold
their hand through the process of the My
247
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:40,930
Aged Care and navigating those services.
248
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:46,500
What are some of the challenges that
the Elders face in relation to dealing
249
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:50,140
with those sort of organisations
and those sort of procedures?
250
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:56,205
There's quite a few, actually, because
before I was in this role, myself and
251
00:13:56,245 --> 00:14:01,575
my coworker, my sister girl, Alara,
we were one of the first Aboriginal
252
00:14:01,635 --> 00:14:04,164
regional assessment officers in Victoria.
253
00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:08,774
So we started the whole process
when My Aged Care first came out.
254
00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:13,814
So we were advocating for our people from
day dot all the way through to the end.
255
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:19,725
And one, our people don't
like to call up a number.
256
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:24,405
And not know who they're talking to,
to some of them don't have access
257
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,944
to either a phone or the internet,
which is the other way that you can
258
00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:32,114
actually access my age care is getting
online and put you through a referral.
259
00:14:32,224 --> 00:14:35,704
So the barriers were the technology,
the phone and the internet.
260
00:14:36,014 --> 00:14:41,884
Then it was the third of our elders trying
to give some random information and.
261
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:45,514
You know, quite personal information
to someone they don't even know.
262
00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,404
And then the other issue was.
263
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:50,699
When we were doing the actual
assessment, they were questioning,
264
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:52,410
where is the information going?
265
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,300
Who's going to see this?
266
00:14:54,349 --> 00:14:55,770
So it was all about their privacy.
267
00:14:55,770 --> 00:15:00,049
We, which we had to, you know, inform
them that it's, it is confidential.
268
00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:02,219
Only the certain amount of
people will be able to see it.
269
00:15:02,229 --> 00:15:03,890
And that's if you give permission.
270
00:15:03,939 --> 00:15:09,189
So them even getting onto the service
itself was such a barrier and so
271
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,520
hard for us because the other thing
too, was we weren't getting the
272
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,329
amount of work that we were doing.
273
00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:17,680
We weren't able to put it in for stats.
274
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:24,470
So we were doing a daily three hours or
more of extra work just to support these
275
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,950
Elders, but we couldn't document that.
276
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:32,449
So at every corner of, you know,
for the statistics, we were always
277
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,309
under what, or under our KPIs.
278
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,250
And we would get questioned constantly,
but the answer to their questioning
279
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:45,080
was always the same, that we aren't
mainstream, we don't walk into a home with
280
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,640
a laptop and sit there like for half an
hour and ask them, what are your issues?
281
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:50,939
How do you go to the toilet?
282
00:15:50,939 --> 00:15:52,089
Are you happy to go to the toilet?
283
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:55,049
Can you, do you know you go to the toilet
straight up before you even know this?
284
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,620
It's Paul Alder.
285
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,430
We never went in with a laptop.
286
00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:00,000
We went in with a piece of paper.
287
00:16:00,519 --> 00:16:03,859
The connection was the auntie or
uncle would ask, who's your ma?
288
00:16:04,119 --> 00:16:07,869
And that's an automatic connection
on, they can build for themselves on
289
00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,539
where we belong, where we come from.
290
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,759
So I'm a proud Wamba Wamba
Ngāiri Ngāiri girl, so I'm from
291
00:16:13,759 --> 00:16:15,029
Swan Hill and Barrow Arnold.
292
00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:18,825
So I would say, Oh yeah, I'm
Wemba uncle, I'm Wemba aunt.
293
00:16:18,855 --> 00:16:22,245
And then she'll say, do you know
this person and this person?
294
00:16:22,245 --> 00:16:24,995
I'm like, yeah, that's my auntie,
that's my uncle or whatever.
295
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:27,795
And then that straight away
built that connection and that
296
00:16:27,795 --> 00:16:29,684
relationship just by them knowing who.
297
00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:31,370
or where I come from.
298
00:16:31,589 --> 00:16:36,040
So then asking those questions become
easier because they already felt a
299
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:41,310
sense of connection and comfort knowing
that one, I am Aboriginal and two
300
00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:43,530
that they knew who my family were.
301
00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:45,879
So that's what makes us different.
302
00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:50,710
And that's why Aboriginal people come
to Aboriginal organisations because
303
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:54,730
they get that cultural connection on
an instance of walking through the
304
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:57,460
door or seeing in our museum here that.
305
00:16:57,580 --> 00:17:00,330
You know, well, that was
my nan, that's my auntie.
306
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:03,500
And they sit, stand proud and
see that they've got family
307
00:17:03,510 --> 00:17:04,829
all over the walls here.
308
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:10,970
And I suppose for some of these Elders,
this would be something that has taken
309
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:16,060
a long time for them to be able to see
is an organisation that is reflecting
310
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:23,600
who they are, as opposed to more of a
white European, perhaps, organisation.
311
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:24,860
Yeah, they're not a stat.
312
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:32,200
They are a valued community member and
look at the end of the day for any type
313
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:34,380
of funding you need to have your stats up.
314
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:35,260
It's simple.
315
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:39,989
It's plain and simple, but we just
try to encourage and ensure that
316
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,919
every service we do provide comes
with that cultural appropriateness.
317
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:48,915
And when you're talking about identifying
as which particular country that you're
318
00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:55,854
from, does that tie into the view of and
the structure of how you view kinship is
319
00:17:55,854 --> 00:18:01,764
very, very different to perhaps what a
conventional way of viewing siblings is?
320
00:18:02,104 --> 00:18:03,225
Yeah, definitely.
321
00:18:03,395 --> 00:18:06,854
So when we state where we're
from or where we are from, our
322
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:10,794
mobs, that's giving everybody
knowledge on where our country is.
323
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:16,190
So usually I wouldn't have to
state where my country is by
324
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:19,980
saying Wambaa, they automatically
know that that's in Swan Hill.
325
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:23,440
But the other thing in regards
to kinship is we are a little
326
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:27,990
bit different because we're very
family and community orientated.
327
00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,670
My sister's kids are my kids.
328
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:34,120
They're my nephews and my
nieces, but they are my babies.
329
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,730
I treat them as my own.
330
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,900
They can come to me
and my house is theirs.
331
00:18:39,355 --> 00:18:43,625
But also tell them also like they're my
own, so, you know, and vice versa, my
332
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:47,715
children are my sisters, but I don't know
if you've heard this, but without kinship
333
00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:51,665
too, and a lot of people would think it
was weird or they don't understand it.
334
00:18:51,665 --> 00:18:55,844
But if I'm asking my children
to do something, I'll say, mum,
335
00:18:55,994 --> 00:18:57,325
can you go and grab that for me?
336
00:18:57,705 --> 00:19:00,105
I am their mum, but I'm calling them mum.
337
00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:02,995
So they know to go and get this
with my nephews and nieces.
338
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:04,825
Aunty, can you go and grab this for me?
339
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,670
Which a lot of people are like,
wait, they're not your auntie.
340
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:08,330
And I'm like, no, no, no.
341
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:11,490
I'm their auntie, but that's
my way of telling them.
342
00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:13,230
Can you do this for me or baby?
343
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,160
Like, this is, this is how it is.
344
00:19:15,169 --> 00:19:20,769
So as weird as it is, I think it's just
natural that we do have that kinship of
345
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:24,990
whoever's babies are around, they're ours.
346
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:27,700
Like we don't just stand
at a community event.
347
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,500
If there's kids running around,
they're doing the wrong thing.
348
00:19:29,659 --> 00:19:30,840
Hey, bub, what are you doing?
349
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:32,790
Oh, sorry, auntie.
350
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,740
Like they don't know me, but
they know I'm an older woman.
351
00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,490
Then they're going to call
me auntie out of respect.
352
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:44,050
So we look after each other's as
if they were our own, which is
353
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,550
what brings us closer and which
makes us a stronger community.
354
00:19:48,195 --> 00:19:53,075
And just on that, the use of
auntie and uncle in reference to
355
00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:56,195
elders, that's also out of respect.
356
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:56,904
Definitely.
357
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:57,965
That's respect, yeah.
358
00:19:58,185 --> 00:20:03,004
I remember one time I called
someone by their name and, because
359
00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:05,624
I was just in conversation and I
said, blah, blah, blah, and then
360
00:20:05,624 --> 00:20:07,625
he looked at me and he went, What?
361
00:20:07,795 --> 00:20:09,675
And I said, Hey, I'm so sorry, uncle.
362
00:20:09,985 --> 00:20:13,345
Oh, well, buddy goes, I'll clip you in the
side of the ear if you do that ever again.
363
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:17,695
Like it's, um, it's funny, but
yes, it's out of respect that
364
00:20:17,725 --> 00:20:19,285
you call them auntie uncle.
365
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:23,135
The older, older ones, if you're close
enough, you call them man and pop.
366
00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:24,984
Like I had aunties that were.
367
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:30,300
In their 60s and 70s, they were my
Nan and Pop's age, and we were that
368
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:33,380
close that they weren't my Aunty and
my Uncle, they were my Nan and my Pop.
369
00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:34,960
Yeah, that's lovely.
370
00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:35,930
That's a, a
371
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:41,450
real closeness that you have just
even using those terms, that it's an
372
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:46,899
endearing, caring kind of way in which
you look out and refer to community.
373
00:20:46,899 --> 00:20:48,550
I find that really quite beautiful.
374
00:20:48,835 --> 00:20:49,135
Yeah.
375
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:49,625
Thank you.
376
00:20:50,175 --> 00:20:56,385
And tell me, with this identification of
being connected to a particular country
377
00:20:56,665 --> 00:21:02,345
and with bearing in mind the respect that
you show to Elders and really in turn
378
00:21:02,354 --> 00:21:07,045
to, to everyone within the community,
that must then provide the reason
379
00:21:07,045 --> 00:21:10,725
why the foundation of the Aboriginal
Funeral Service is so important.
380
00:21:10,725 --> 00:21:11,104
Definitely.
381
00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:11,935
Definitely.
382
00:21:11,995 --> 00:21:13,285
With the funeral service.
383
00:21:13,895 --> 00:21:18,305
Going home to country for our
mob is vital to our people.
384
00:21:18,765 --> 00:21:22,754
I'm not going to say that it happens all
the time because sometimes, you know,
385
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:27,274
there are people that live off country
for so many years and the country that
386
00:21:27,274 --> 00:21:28,645
they're living on becomes their home.
387
00:21:28,725 --> 00:21:33,575
So, you know, for instance, where we
are now, I've lived and worked on the
388
00:21:33,575 --> 00:21:38,179
land of the Wurundjeri people for, You
know, pretty much my whole life and
389
00:21:38,290 --> 00:21:42,810
there are people that pass here and
they want to be buried at the Luruna
390
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:47,629
Aboriginal Cemetery in Greenvale, which
is fine, they're still on country and
391
00:21:47,629 --> 00:21:53,270
country that they call home and it's
just about them and their choices.
392
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,660
So a lot of people want
to go home to country.
393
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:03,320
So they've got that safe passage to
the Dreaming because a lot of mob
394
00:22:03,330 --> 00:22:05,840
believe that if you aren't on country.
395
00:22:06,379 --> 00:22:11,840
it interferes with the journey
that you go on after life to your
396
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,780
ancestors and to the dream time.
397
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:19,520
So you may find that a lot of people
that don't get buried on country that
398
00:22:19,850 --> 00:22:22,779
get buried down, they'll have that
smoking ceremony, they'll have that
399
00:22:22,779 --> 00:22:28,720
dance, they'll have those gum trees, gum
leaves, because that's the land owners
400
00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:31,590
saying it's okay for them to be here.
401
00:22:31,970 --> 00:22:32,620
They're home.
402
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,120
It's all our land.
403
00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:36,919
And that smoking is helping them.
404
00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:42,390
transfer or supporting them through
that journey to the dream time
405
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,750
from being away from country.
406
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:47,569
And what I'd like you to do, Kinesha,
is if you can actually talk about
407
00:22:47,710 --> 00:22:52,420
what the beliefs are in relation to
that journey, like from when someone
408
00:22:52,430 --> 00:22:56,930
dies through to the dream time, what
is that passage and what normally
409
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,820
has to take place for that to happen?
410
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:03,500
Well, I think everybody's different
in how they believe or what
411
00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:07,460
they believe in regards to the
journey of going to the dreamy.
412
00:23:07,870 --> 00:23:11,750
But there are a few things that a lot
of people do, and it is that smoking
413
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:14,680
ceremony, it is having those gum leaves.
414
00:23:14,729 --> 00:23:19,799
Cause for me, gum leaves are a way of
releasing the spirit from the body.
415
00:23:20,330 --> 00:23:25,300
And then the smoking is a signal to
help them along the way to find the
416
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,280
ancestors, to find their loved ones.
417
00:23:27,799 --> 00:23:31,989
And then it's the thing of finding
their way back to their family, loved
418
00:23:31,989 --> 00:23:35,129
ones, but we also believe in our totems.
419
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:40,099
So our totems to our maw,
we become after death.
420
00:23:40,609 --> 00:23:45,130
So when you see some people
as their wedge tailed eagle.
421
00:23:46,129 --> 00:23:50,200
That represents that loved one that
has passed and they're hovering above
422
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,470
you just to let you know that they're
here and they're supporting you.
423
00:23:53,629 --> 00:23:59,669
My partner passed away two years ago
through the COVID vaccination, and he
424
00:23:59,669 --> 00:24:04,689
was a massive Collingwood supporter,
my Lord, like ride or die Collingwood.
425
00:24:05,180 --> 00:24:12,315
And so when he passed, you know,
he wasn't an Aboriginal But in
426
00:24:12,315 --> 00:24:15,245
our hearts, we knew that he would
always come back as a magpie.
427
00:24:15,305 --> 00:24:19,824
So when we see a magpie at our
feet or standing near our door, we
428
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:22,025
know he's there saying hello to us.
429
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:25,975
Or, you know, if my kids are mucking
up and being naughty, then they
430
00:24:25,975 --> 00:24:27,215
know dad's there watching them.
431
00:24:27,245 --> 00:24:28,709
So they, they kind of, you know.
432
00:24:28,990 --> 00:24:30,670
Oh, dad, see, I would best stop it now.
433
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:36,340
So the thing about the journey is
that there are multiple ways that,
434
00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:40,260
that our people show science that
they're okay, that it's happening.
435
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:41,620
It's, it's the right thing.
436
00:24:42,330 --> 00:24:43,970
And the main thing is those totems.
437
00:24:43,979 --> 00:24:48,960
They come back as those totems to
then support you in the afterlife.
438
00:24:49,010 --> 00:24:51,620
But yeah, so everybody's different.
439
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,560
I feel like there's that
many different mobs.
440
00:24:55,820 --> 00:25:00,120
that all have different beliefs in,
you know, because their old elders,
441
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:05,150
their ancestors told stories of, which
got passed down to every single one
442
00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:10,110
of them to the day now, which we're
continuing to pass down to our young ones.
443
00:25:10,580 --> 00:25:16,150
But the biggest thing too, is Being able
to say goodbye when they do pass being
444
00:25:16,150 --> 00:25:21,460
there, being able to personally, we wash
our women and our men, but our men only
445
00:25:21,730 --> 00:25:23,730
wash men, our women only wash women.
446
00:25:24,669 --> 00:25:26,300
We bath them ourselves.
447
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,969
We dress them ourselves.
448
00:25:28,189 --> 00:25:29,770
We have our gum leaves.
449
00:25:29,979 --> 00:25:32,649
We have their favorite songs
playing in the background.
450
00:25:32,889 --> 00:25:38,090
And it's usually filled with all of
the women of the family to support
451
00:25:38,090 --> 00:25:42,489
one another, to get, you know, to do
that process together as a family.
452
00:25:43,015 --> 00:25:46,675
And Kanisha, is that done at
your mortuary in Clifton Hill,
453
00:25:47,095 --> 00:25:48,255
or is that done in the home?
454
00:25:48,695 --> 00:25:53,025
So it's completely up to the family
on where they want that to happen.
455
00:25:53,425 --> 00:25:55,944
I think it's a bit different
if someone's died suddenly.
456
00:25:56,215 --> 00:25:58,265
You can't do that, you know, at home.
457
00:25:58,385 --> 00:26:02,975
So you do need to wait until the
processes of all of that legal
458
00:26:02,975 --> 00:26:06,085
stuff has been done, and then you
usually would do it at Clifton Hill.
459
00:26:06,415 --> 00:26:09,949
If they've passed away in hospital,
We do it at the hospital before
460
00:26:09,949 --> 00:26:11,470
they take them down to the mortuary.
461
00:26:11,890 --> 00:26:14,430
And the hospitals have been very
supportive over the last few
462
00:26:14,430 --> 00:26:17,750
years of supporting Aboriginal
people through that process.
463
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,209
So there's been a few Aboriginal
people that have passed away in
464
00:26:22,259 --> 00:26:25,610
hospitals and they've allowed smoking
ceremonies on the balconies and
465
00:26:25,619 --> 00:26:27,939
dances and the music being played.
466
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,810
I feel that we're going in the right
direction in regards to our sorry
467
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:34,920
business and what we need to be done.
468
00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:39,090
And a lot of services are
being quite supportive of that.
469
00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:41,360
So I'm very happy to know that.
470
00:26:41,460 --> 00:26:46,499
And you mentioned the term sorry
business and you just were talking about
471
00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:50,370
there's certain things that the men do
and certain things that the women do.
472
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:52,610
Is that something that
you can elaborate on?
473
00:26:53,139 --> 00:26:57,419
So, look, I can't speak on behalf
of the men cause I don't really
474
00:26:57,419 --> 00:26:58,629
know what goes on in there.
475
00:26:58,739 --> 00:27:01,129
I wouldn't expect you to,
that's men's business.
476
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:05,980
It definitely is men's business, but in
regards to the women, we do dress our own.
477
00:27:06,140 --> 00:27:09,559
We like to say our
goodbyes and kiss and hug.
478
00:27:09,609 --> 00:27:14,920
And like I said, we wash them, we
prepare them, we sit around, we talk.
479
00:27:15,455 --> 00:27:19,685
But that's a personal thing because
there are cultures or there are different
480
00:27:19,695 --> 00:27:24,945
mobs out there that don't speak of their
loved one that has passed because they
481
00:27:24,945 --> 00:27:29,284
believe also that that is an interference
of them going to the dreaming.
482
00:27:29,304 --> 00:27:32,164
So by saying their name, you're
bringing their spirit back to
483
00:27:32,164 --> 00:27:34,475
their body or back surrounding you.
484
00:27:34,475 --> 00:27:39,075
So they try not to speak their name
until, you know, a certain period.
485
00:27:39,570 --> 00:27:42,960
That they know that that person has
traveled their journey to the dream time.
486
00:27:43,110 --> 00:27:46,650
But personally, or for
myself, that's not the case.
487
00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:51,230
I would definitely respect it if I did
come across anybody that was like that.
488
00:27:51,740 --> 00:27:56,689
And is that the same also with depicting
images of the person who's deceased?
489
00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:57,370
Yep.
490
00:27:57,410 --> 00:27:58,280
That's the same thing.
491
00:27:58,350 --> 00:28:01,680
It's interrupting the
journey to the dream time.
492
00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:06,740
And with the pictures, I think a lot
of it is just acknowledging that.
493
00:28:07,235 --> 00:28:12,205
There will be those people that are no
longer with us on the TV, you know, I,
494
00:28:12,225 --> 00:28:15,865
I see that on a few ads, they'll say,
you know, an acknowledgement that there
495
00:28:15,925 --> 00:28:20,955
may be pictures of deceased people or
whatever, that's just an, also a respect
496
00:28:20,955 --> 00:28:24,994
thing to say that, you know, there may
be something or someone that you may see
497
00:28:24,994 --> 00:28:26,645
that, that, you know, hurts a little bit.
498
00:28:26,865 --> 00:28:28,855
So just be wary that that's happening.
499
00:28:28,855 --> 00:28:29,095
So.
500
00:28:29,735 --> 00:28:33,264
Yeah, I've got one on my website when
people first log on to the website,
501
00:28:33,294 --> 00:28:37,564
just so they're aware that, you know,
they're talking about death and it
502
00:28:37,564 --> 00:28:41,794
may upset some people because it is
referring to people in the past, so.
503
00:28:41,794 --> 00:28:43,525
Yeah, definitely.
504
00:28:44,074 --> 00:28:49,915
And tell me, what are some of the
challenges that you find families face
505
00:28:50,155 --> 00:28:52,784
when a loved one does die in community?
506
00:28:53,260 --> 00:28:58,260
There's a few challenges, but I feel
like the main challenge is the finances.
507
00:28:58,770 --> 00:29:02,149
A lot of our mob aren't ready for it.
508
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,259
They're not prepared enough.
509
00:29:04,330 --> 00:29:07,790
Look, it's not a bad thing,
but personally, I don't like to
510
00:29:07,790 --> 00:29:11,189
talk about debt because I don't
want to jinx myself into debt.
511
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:16,450
So talking about it for our
people is a big, it's a big thing.
512
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,330
They don't like to talk about it.
513
00:29:18,975 --> 00:29:23,274
So when someone actually does pass
away, they're left with all the
514
00:29:23,274 --> 00:29:27,394
decisions having to be made without
having an input from that loved one
515
00:29:27,395 --> 00:29:28,965
because they never spoke about it.
516
00:29:29,124 --> 00:29:31,524
So there's constant conflict.
517
00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:38,385
Between, you know, siblings or loved
ones, there's financial difficulty because
518
00:29:38,435 --> 00:29:43,245
there was no, you know, funeral insurance,
or there was no money there for them
519
00:29:43,275 --> 00:29:46,925
to give their loved ones the best send
off or the send off that they deserved.
520
00:29:47,315 --> 00:29:51,605
And the grieving, the grieving is
the biggest factor for everybody.
521
00:29:51,605 --> 00:29:55,885
It doesn't matter who you are, but
grieving is an individual feeling.
522
00:29:55,925 --> 00:29:59,874
It's not something that you
share with others the same way.
523
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:05,100
Like personally, I'm grieving a
husband, but my children are grieving
524
00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:08,420
a father, his mother is grieving a son.
525
00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:12,560
So though we are all grieving,
we are all grieving differently.
526
00:30:12,799 --> 00:30:19,230
And that's what makes it harder to
support or to connect with somebody
527
00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:23,420
because everybody is differently
and they see the world differently.
528
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:28,175
When you lose a loved one, there's
the anger, there's the stresses
529
00:30:28,205 --> 00:30:30,075
of the finances afterwards.
530
00:30:30,115 --> 00:30:34,945
And it may be, I think a lot of
people forget to that say, when an
531
00:30:34,965 --> 00:30:41,604
auntie passes away, the uncle has
lost his soulmate, someone that
532
00:30:41,604 --> 00:30:44,044
he's been with for 40 odd years.
533
00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:49,285
A dependent of the children, a
dependent of himself, a dependent of
534
00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:53,794
finances, a dependent of conversation.
535
00:30:53,845 --> 00:30:59,814
It's not just about the money, it's
about the loss of his whole life of
536
00:30:59,845 --> 00:31:04,525
being with one person and then having
to change that because of death.
537
00:31:05,205 --> 00:31:08,995
And it's coming to terms with
all of your everyday life being
538
00:31:08,995 --> 00:31:10,215
so different without them.
539
00:31:10,965 --> 00:31:14,085
And it's as simple as
sitting down for dinner.
540
00:31:14,950 --> 00:31:19,890
Or getting in the car to go on a
holiday, or it's for, say, if it's for
541
00:31:19,890 --> 00:31:24,189
an auntie or an uncle, it's as simple
as them driving them to the supermarket.
542
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:29,960
So all those little things that people
forget, that when you are going through
543
00:31:30,050 --> 00:31:34,619
death and you have to get through all
of that massive process of a funeral,
544
00:31:34,620 --> 00:31:37,640
that sometimes your headspace isn't.
545
00:31:38,055 --> 00:31:41,995
where it needs to be, which is why
the Victorian Aboriginal funeral
546
00:31:41,995 --> 00:31:46,765
service is so fantastic because they
know this, they understand this, and
547
00:31:46,785 --> 00:31:49,695
they will work with you in your time.
548
00:31:50,235 --> 00:31:54,125
They're not going to rush through
it because it needs to be done.
549
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:56,155
And you have two weeks
to bury this loved one.
550
00:31:56,165 --> 00:31:56,645
No, no, no.
551
00:31:56,735 --> 00:31:57,785
We're going to take our time.
552
00:31:57,785 --> 00:31:58,985
We're going to get everything done.
553
00:31:59,395 --> 00:32:03,905
Even if we're in the background rushing
around, like I said, not sleeping, working
554
00:32:03,905 --> 00:32:08,834
till 12 o'clock, whatever it is, as long
as we know that that person has that
555
00:32:08,834 --> 00:32:12,955
little bit less of a burden on them when
they go home, then we're doing our job.
556
00:32:13,165 --> 00:32:14,475
And it's so right when you talk
557
00:32:14,485 --> 00:32:18,984
about there's the grief aspect, but then.
558
00:32:19,325 --> 00:32:22,385
There's the loss, which
is different to the grief.
559
00:32:23,355 --> 00:32:27,705
And it's then all of those little
losses that you were referring to,
560
00:32:28,215 --> 00:32:33,245
and then, you know, that identity
and that defined identity of
561
00:32:33,245 --> 00:32:35,685
being a partner for 40 odd years.
562
00:32:35,685 --> 00:32:37,465
And then what does that mean now?
563
00:32:37,705 --> 00:32:39,735
Who does that make me, who I am?
564
00:32:40,265 --> 00:32:42,785
So it is extremely complex.
565
00:32:42,845 --> 00:32:46,275
And what sort of services are
offered within the community
566
00:32:46,555 --> 00:32:48,515
that after sort of the funeral?
567
00:32:48,890 --> 00:32:49,210
Yeah.
568
00:32:49,210 --> 00:32:52,600
So the thing about the Victorian
Aboriginal Funeral Service is too,
569
00:32:52,650 --> 00:32:58,280
that we're not just a service of once
we've buried a loved one, that's it.
570
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,630
We have a check in service.
571
00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:01,850
We check in with them.
572
00:33:02,230 --> 00:33:05,989
If they are needing a referral into
our family support unit because
573
00:33:05,989 --> 00:33:09,260
they're struggling with, you know,
the bills or they need that financial
574
00:33:09,260 --> 00:33:10,800
help, we refer them into there.
575
00:33:10,830 --> 00:33:13,710
We have the Victorian Aboriginal
Health Service that has
576
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,250
psychologists and counsellors.
577
00:33:15,250 --> 00:33:16,229
We have our local.
578
00:33:16,675 --> 00:33:18,795
Doctor, which is first people's wellbeing.
579
00:33:18,805 --> 00:33:22,705
Also, they have counsellors
and psychologists that can
580
00:33:22,715 --> 00:33:24,805
support through that as well.
581
00:33:24,835 --> 00:33:30,454
So we do also make referrals to other
support services to get the support that
582
00:33:30,454 --> 00:33:32,775
that individual is requiring at that time.
583
00:33:33,155 --> 00:33:34,955
They may not want it
straight away because.
584
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:39,470
We all know that when somebody passes,
there's that period of everybody's
585
00:33:39,470 --> 00:33:41,090
surrounding you and everybody's there.
586
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:42,960
They're there to support you.
587
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,099
They help clean your home.
588
00:33:44,099 --> 00:33:44,760
They feed you.
589
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,220
They bring, you know,
casserole dishes to your house.
590
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,909
And so it's one thing that you
don't have to think about is
591
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:52,199
cooking dinner for your family.
592
00:33:53,199 --> 00:33:54,360
But it's the months after.
593
00:33:55,105 --> 00:33:59,375
That I'm not saying that you need them
all the time that you become reliant
594
00:33:59,375 --> 00:34:03,295
on them, but it's the months after that
you still need that little bit of ear to
595
00:34:03,355 --> 00:34:08,444
talk to someone to talk to about them,
tell somebody that you're struggling.
596
00:34:08,475 --> 00:34:11,444
And then that's when
the check in comes in.
597
00:34:11,564 --> 00:34:16,444
So it's not straight after it's
months later to see how they're going.
598
00:34:16,714 --> 00:34:20,415
Is there any supports or help that
you need that we can put you through?
599
00:34:20,925 --> 00:34:22,085
If it isn't uncle that.
600
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:23,610
and the aunts passed away.
601
00:34:23,710 --> 00:34:28,770
He may now need help with cleaning his
home or going to appointments or doing
602
00:34:28,770 --> 00:34:33,199
his shopping because his wife was the one
that was driving him or his wife was the
603
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:34,809
one that did all of that around the house.
604
00:34:34,810 --> 00:34:39,199
So it's the months after that we then
check in to see what services will be
605
00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:43,470
available, what services he's wanting
and what services are available.
606
00:34:43,740 --> 00:34:46,960
We have multiple Aboriginal
organisations here.
607
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,290
We're very lucky in Victoria.
608
00:34:48,740 --> 00:34:53,860
what I feel, because we do have a whole
heap of supports that surround the
609
00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:57,690
northern suburbs that can help with
all of the care that you are needing.
610
00:34:58,210 --> 00:35:01,680
The other thing I'll say is all of
our services here at the Aboriginal
611
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,580
Expansion League is a holistic service.
612
00:35:04,090 --> 00:35:09,990
And it's community based, so when we
are sitting with the one person and
613
00:35:09,990 --> 00:35:15,690
we're having conversation, we don't
just focus our attention on that person.
614
00:35:16,150 --> 00:35:19,059
We focus on the people that
are surrounding them and
615
00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:20,750
that mean something to them.
616
00:35:21,309 --> 00:35:25,600
You know, if an aunt's come in, but
she's looking after her grandchildren
617
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,970
or she gets visitors from, you know,
family all over, but she's struggling.
618
00:35:29,970 --> 00:35:30,280
Thanks.
619
00:35:30,550 --> 00:35:35,010
We know that auntie is not going to
get any help unless those that she
620
00:35:35,010 --> 00:35:37,020
loves around her get the help first.
621
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:42,440
So we will support those around her,
do what's necessary for them while we
622
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,189
are doing what's necessary for aunt.
623
00:35:44,579 --> 00:35:48,069
Because then we know that she is
more inclined to get the support
624
00:35:48,110 --> 00:35:53,240
that she's needing if she knows that
her babies are also being supported.
625
00:35:53,845 --> 00:36:00,635
Yeah, that's a very good way to manage a
situation is, you know, take the pressure
626
00:36:00,635 --> 00:36:05,205
off where the pressure is obviously may be
felt and that's when you have people who
627
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:09,155
are dependent on you because more than,
you know, the case is that people will
628
00:36:09,155 --> 00:36:13,404
actually put all their love and attention
onto the things that they're responsible
629
00:36:13,554 --> 00:36:15,274
for rather than taking care of themselves.
630
00:36:15,514 --> 00:36:16,174
Yep, definitely.
631
00:36:16,355 --> 00:36:17,855
That's a really beautiful model.
632
00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:21,565
And what if someone is
attending an Aboriginal funeral?
633
00:36:21,910 --> 00:36:26,170
Is there a particular protocol,
like what should people follow?
634
00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:28,070
What should people be mindful of?
635
00:36:28,615 --> 00:36:31,525
Look, I think it's down to
the individual and how that
636
00:36:31,525 --> 00:36:33,125
family is running that funeral.
637
00:36:33,365 --> 00:36:36,325
But the one thing is we're
all good at communicating.
638
00:36:37,085 --> 00:36:41,505
So if anything needs to be done or
anything's wanting to be done, it
639
00:36:41,515 --> 00:36:43,264
will be communicated to that person.
640
00:36:43,465 --> 00:36:48,435
So the biggest thing is just be
there, just be there, support.
641
00:36:49,010 --> 00:36:53,210
The person that you're there to support
and their family, they may say we're
642
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:55,750
yellow, like we've got a funeral blessed.
643
00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:59,350
We've gone through a bit of sorry
business the last week, which is
644
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:00,940
absolutely horrible in the community.
645
00:37:00,940 --> 00:37:04,909
We're all mourning, but one of our
aunties passed away, Aunt Debbie,
646
00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:07,560
and her funeral will be next week.
647
00:37:08,085 --> 00:37:11,765
Next week, but the family box
that everyone wears yellow, cause
648
00:37:11,765 --> 00:37:12,995
yellow was her favorite color.
649
00:37:13,575 --> 00:37:18,185
So in regards to when you're attending
our funerals, just be mindful that
650
00:37:18,185 --> 00:37:20,175
there will most likely be smoking.
651
00:37:20,535 --> 00:37:24,135
Some people don't believe in the smoking
from different backgrounds or different
652
00:37:24,135 --> 00:37:26,085
cultures, different religious beliefs.
653
00:37:26,534 --> 00:37:30,925
But if you don't want to participate
in that, you can steer clear.
654
00:37:30,995 --> 00:37:34,305
But, um, yeah, just being
mindful that of your own beliefs
655
00:37:34,305 --> 00:37:36,235
and your own cultural aspects.
656
00:37:36,235 --> 00:37:36,565
Thanks.
657
00:37:36,905 --> 00:37:39,535
You'll feel more comfortable
going, but like I said, they will
658
00:37:39,535 --> 00:37:43,485
definitely tell you what they
want or what is necessary for it.
659
00:37:43,765 --> 00:37:46,755
The thing about our funerals
is everybody is welcome.
660
00:37:47,114 --> 00:37:50,994
It's not totally, it was really funny
because my, I'll tell you a story quickly.
661
00:37:51,535 --> 00:37:56,275
My oldest is 16 this year, but she would
have been maybe 13, I reckon, maybe 12.
662
00:37:56,325 --> 00:38:01,635
And one of her best friends, cousin,
distant cousin, but best friends,
663
00:38:01,635 --> 00:38:06,060
her dad passed away and, She said
to me after, she said, Mum, I really
664
00:38:06,060 --> 00:38:07,270
want to go to Uncle's funeral.
665
00:38:07,350 --> 00:38:08,520
And I said, Yeah, bub, that's fine.
666
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,970
She goes, Yeah, but Mum, I
didn't get an invitation.
667
00:38:11,470 --> 00:38:15,220
And I said, Bub, you don't
get invitations to funerals.
668
00:38:16,645 --> 00:38:17,995
And she was like, wait, what?
669
00:38:18,035 --> 00:38:18,345
No.
670
00:38:18,415 --> 00:38:22,945
And I said, no, if you know that person,
you want to pay your respects to that
671
00:38:22,945 --> 00:38:27,274
person and to their family, you just
go, they'll put up a notice on when it's
672
00:38:27,275 --> 00:38:29,394
happening, what day, and then you go.
673
00:38:29,614 --> 00:38:32,995
And she's like, Oh, I thought
I needed an invitation.
674
00:38:33,215 --> 00:38:36,265
Which I thought was absolutely
adorable at the same time.
675
00:38:36,525 --> 00:38:40,775
I was like, you don't need an invitation
to go to a funeral, you poor thing.
676
00:38:40,875 --> 00:38:41,885
That's so amazing.
677
00:38:41,885 --> 00:38:45,465
Like I love the way in which kids
think they just break it down,
678
00:38:45,535 --> 00:38:47,655
like to the just basic level.
679
00:38:48,024 --> 00:38:52,765
And to be honest, I hadn't really thought
of that difference, but it really is.
680
00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:56,575
Like up until that point, she probably
always got invitations to birthdays.
681
00:38:56,645 --> 00:38:57,025
Yes,
682
00:38:57,055 --> 00:38:57,665
that's right.
683
00:38:57,715 --> 00:38:57,965
Yep.
684
00:38:57,985 --> 00:38:59,815
You know, and birthday parties.
685
00:38:59,825 --> 00:39:02,645
So, you know, one, she
was confused that she.
686
00:39:02,955 --> 00:39:05,965
Didn't feel like she could go because
she hadn't received her invitation.
687
00:39:06,005 --> 00:39:06,405
Yeah.
688
00:39:07,165 --> 00:39:08,325
That's amazing.
689
00:39:08,415 --> 00:39:09,445
I really like that.
690
00:39:09,525 --> 00:39:10,685
That one will stay with me.
691
00:39:10,705 --> 00:39:11,325
That's very beautiful.
692
00:39:12,125 --> 00:39:17,225
How would you, you've already mentioned
that, you know, supporting someone is
693
00:39:17,244 --> 00:39:20,994
to not just be there at the funeral
or immediately after someone's
694
00:39:20,994 --> 00:39:23,275
died, but also checking in on them.
695
00:39:23,790 --> 00:39:25,810
You know, months after as well.
696
00:39:26,330 --> 00:39:28,570
Is there anything else
that people should do?
697
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:32,760
Is there anything that people
should bring or people should
698
00:39:32,770 --> 00:39:34,649
offer in relation to a funeral?
699
00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:34,889
I
700
00:39:34,889 --> 00:39:38,490
feel like it's an individual perspective.
701
00:39:38,499 --> 00:39:41,700
So, you know, there's people that
bring flowers, there's people that give
702
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,860
money, there's people that will buy.
703
00:39:44,585 --> 00:39:48,445
Somebody, something that they need
or it's food or it's whatever.
704
00:39:48,465 --> 00:39:52,355
But I feel that at the end of
the day, that the materialistic
705
00:39:52,355 --> 00:39:53,665
kind of stuff doesn't matter.
706
00:39:54,035 --> 00:39:55,175
It's your presence.
707
00:39:55,334 --> 00:39:59,834
If you can't call text, if you
can't be there, give them a call.
708
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:05,705
Like personally, I feel like somebody
can have all the money in the world,
709
00:40:05,725 --> 00:40:11,255
but if they don't have that love and
support, then what's the money, money
710
00:40:11,265 --> 00:40:13,795
doesn't make you anything, but money is.
711
00:40:14,205 --> 00:40:17,465
What gets you through every day, make
sure you have a roof over your head.
712
00:40:17,465 --> 00:40:18,395
Your bills are paid.
713
00:40:18,395 --> 00:40:23,005
You've got clothes on your back, you know,
new shoes for your children, but the love
714
00:40:23,045 --> 00:40:26,385
and the care and the support that you
have within your community, within your
715
00:40:26,385 --> 00:40:28,905
family, you can't buy that with money.
716
00:40:29,395 --> 00:40:30,374
Flowers die.
717
00:40:30,434 --> 00:40:32,954
So I personally don't
like flowers given to me.
718
00:40:33,065 --> 00:40:35,525
They smell beautiful, but
I'm not a green thumb.
719
00:40:35,525 --> 00:40:36,723
So I don't look after them.
720
00:40:36,723 --> 00:40:38,041
So they're not weak.
721
00:40:38,041 --> 00:40:42,770
They're like, Dead and I'm like, oh
man, so I do prefer fake flowers,
722
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:48,380
but my main message here is
supporting those By being present.
723
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:53,060
That's the biggest thing be present for
those that you care and you love for
724
00:40:53,390 --> 00:40:59,560
Because at the end of the day tomorrow
is never promised and the saying of
725
00:40:59,610 --> 00:41:05,200
you only live once No, you only die
once but you live every single day.
726
00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:12,085
So make it worth it I personally, for my
loved ones, we do, which is really cute.
727
00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:16,315
My pop passed away a few years ago now,
and he was a big golf player, right?
728
00:41:16,365 --> 00:41:19,785
So he was retired playing
golf three, four times a week.
729
00:41:19,815 --> 00:41:26,975
And when he passed away, my dad decided to
do a golf tournament in memory of my pop.
730
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:27,365
So.
731
00:41:28,025 --> 00:41:33,015
The whole family, once a year
at my pop's birthday, we all go
732
00:41:33,435 --> 00:41:37,034
to the country where my pop was,
and we all do a golf tournament.
733
00:41:37,425 --> 00:41:42,144
So, we all go out and play golf, and
whoever wins gets their name on the Sutton
734
00:41:42,144 --> 00:41:44,785
Golf Trophy, which is Absolutely awesome.
735
00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:47,835
So every year we honor
our pop by playing golf.
736
00:41:47,865 --> 00:41:50,565
And there's people that like, there's
my cousins that don't even know
737
00:41:50,565 --> 00:41:53,675
how to play golf, but they just
go in and he, oh, it takes hours,
738
00:41:53,705 --> 00:41:57,865
but you know, it's being present,
it's being present for that memory.
739
00:41:57,865 --> 00:42:03,690
And, you know, personally, when my partner
passed away, His first year anniversary,
740
00:42:04,030 --> 00:42:07,990
I thought, you know, what can I do that's
going to make me a little bit happier.
741
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:13,840
And so I began to wear silly
socks for the whole month of May.
742
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,550
So every day I wore
different stupid socks.
743
00:42:17,579 --> 00:42:21,020
There was Elmo and South Park
and whatever I could get my
744
00:42:21,020 --> 00:42:22,540
hands on, you know, chisels.
745
00:42:23,180 --> 00:42:28,410
So every day for the month of May, I
wore different socks to lift my spirits
746
00:42:28,790 --> 00:42:30,649
up for that month, to get through.
747
00:42:31,135 --> 00:42:34,445
The loss of someone that
I truly cared and loved.
748
00:42:34,905 --> 00:42:36,575
So I did that last year.
749
00:42:36,945 --> 00:42:38,205
This year I did it again.
750
00:42:38,595 --> 00:42:42,695
I posted it on my Facebook, but my
sister has gotten involved in it as well.
751
00:42:42,715 --> 00:42:47,654
So every year I think I'll get more and
more of our family to, not that I have
752
00:42:47,684 --> 00:42:50,545
to do it for the whole month, maybe
just do it on the day that he passed.
753
00:42:50,555 --> 00:42:55,325
So his death anniversary, but all my
kids wore silly socks on his anniversary.
754
00:42:55,335 --> 00:42:57,485
My sister, my cousins, all of them.
755
00:42:57,895 --> 00:43:02,545
Participated in the Silly Sock Day this
year, which was absolutely fantastic,
756
00:43:02,575 --> 00:43:05,875
but it's that keeping their memory alive.
757
00:43:06,550 --> 00:43:11,180
By doing something that was special
to them and bringing in your family
758
00:43:11,180 --> 00:43:13,120
to support you with that as well.
759
00:43:13,610 --> 00:43:14,650
That's really beautiful.
760
00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:15,699
I love the
761
00:43:15,699 --> 00:43:17,400
simplicity of the socks.
762
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:17,840
Yeah.
763
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,079
I, I am a big lover of wacky sock.
764
00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:23,749
Everyone who knows me knows that.
765
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:28,189
And I think that's a great way
to just remember someone because,
766
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,639
you know, it makes you smile.
767
00:43:30,005 --> 00:43:30,675
Yeah, it does.
768
00:43:30,745 --> 00:43:31,245
It does.
769
00:43:31,595 --> 00:43:32,765
It makes you happy.
770
00:43:33,055 --> 00:43:38,345
And my biggest thing too is, so my
partner died when I was six months
771
00:43:38,365 --> 00:43:39,595
pregnant with our little boy.
772
00:43:40,445 --> 00:43:45,255
So he didn't get to meet, well, he
met my son Valentino before I did,
773
00:43:45,494 --> 00:43:50,094
put it this way, in the spirits, but
he didn't get to meet him earth side.
774
00:43:50,250 --> 00:43:57,310
So for my family and for myself,
having to introduce Valentino's dad
775
00:43:57,330 --> 00:44:02,499
to him through pictures and stories
and memories is a difficult thing
776
00:44:02,499 --> 00:44:05,959
because he would never meet him, but
he'll see photos and hear stories.
777
00:44:05,970 --> 00:44:06,150
So.
778
00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:10,790
My biggest thing with my children is as
hard as it is to talk about daddy, you
779
00:44:10,790 --> 00:44:15,849
need to, you know, and that goes back on
what other people or other mobs do that
780
00:44:15,849 --> 00:44:20,170
they don't speak their name, but for my
household, it is vital for my children
781
00:44:20,180 --> 00:44:27,410
to speak about their dad and what he did
and who he was for our youngest children.
782
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:32,570
Because my, My youngest is one, so
I was pregnant with him and then my
783
00:44:32,570 --> 00:44:34,070
second youngest was two years old.
784
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,440
So still a baby.
785
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,460
She still remembers daddy and
looks for daddy, but she grieves
786
00:44:38,490 --> 00:44:41,220
in her own little way because she
doesn't understand the difference.
787
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:45,019
She's not old enough to
comprehend the grief and the loss.
788
00:44:45,050 --> 00:44:49,099
She feels it and doesn't understand why
she's feeling that way, which is probably
789
00:44:49,519 --> 00:44:54,350
worse than myself and my other two is
not knowing that, that she's feeling
790
00:44:54,350 --> 00:44:56,389
this pain, but she can feel the pain.
791
00:44:56,970 --> 00:44:58,530
So for us talking about.
792
00:44:58,990 --> 00:45:05,750
My partner is a big, it's a big must
just to keep his presence and his memory
793
00:45:05,750 --> 00:45:07,900
alive within those two little ones.
794
00:45:08,910 --> 00:45:09,999
It's really beautiful.
795
00:45:10,279 --> 00:45:13,280
Do you have pictures up on
the wall that you have of him?
796
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,530
Yep, so I have a, I have pictures
all over my house of Daniel.
797
00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:24,660
And I actually got a beautiful Aboriginal
artist to do a family portrait of
798
00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:26,970
all of us, including our unborn baby.
799
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:31,239
So I've got a family portrait with
Daniel and myself and the four kids in
800
00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:33,959
my hallway, which is absolutely awesome.
801
00:45:33,989 --> 00:45:37,980
But yeah, so we definitely have
photos and all of that around.
802
00:45:38,220 --> 00:45:42,310
We have videos playing all the time,
his favorite songs play, you know,
803
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,060
while we're home dancing to them.
804
00:45:44,060 --> 00:45:44,180
We'll
805
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,190
But yeah.
806
00:45:45,650 --> 00:45:49,670
Kanesha, I can't thank you enough for
sharing your personal story with us.
807
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,570
Is there anything else that you'd
like to share or like to say?
808
00:45:54,000 --> 00:46:02,689
Yeah, I really do want to stress a little
bit on community, on supporting the
809
00:46:02,689 --> 00:46:04,570
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
810
00:46:05,030 --> 00:46:08,850
It is an essential service for our people.
811
00:46:09,540 --> 00:46:12,070
We have supported community members.
812
00:46:12,790 --> 00:46:14,010
For many, many years.
813
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:19,880
And we will continue to do so, even if
it means we have to, I don't know, we'll
814
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:24,180
get it done, let's just say that, but we
do need support through community, all
815
00:46:24,210 --> 00:46:29,029
communities, you know, here at the league,
we have all put in, we take, you know,
816
00:46:29,869 --> 00:46:36,550
a little 5 out of our pay weekly, and
we put it into the funeral service fund.
817
00:46:36,670 --> 00:46:42,890
So it may not seem like a lot of money,
but if, You know, thousands of people
818
00:46:42,890 --> 00:46:46,040
put in 5 a week out of their little pay.
819
00:46:46,230 --> 00:46:51,340
It accumulates and it does help those
that cannot afford a proper funeral.
820
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,830
A Victorian Aboriginal
funeral is not expensive.
821
00:46:55,430 --> 00:46:56,119
We do not.
822
00:46:56,295 --> 00:47:03,215
Charge any extra cash on top of anything,
what we pay for each item we charge.
823
00:47:03,245 --> 00:47:09,244
So if we're paying 900 for a, for a
coffin, you're paying 900 for a coffin.
824
00:47:09,245 --> 00:47:12,645
We're not putting on any extra cash
on top of it to make a profit for
825
00:47:12,645 --> 00:47:16,075
ourselves, which is why it's so low cost.
826
00:47:16,195 --> 00:47:19,960
A standard funeral, depending on
where you're being buried, The cost
827
00:47:20,090 --> 00:47:22,470
of a funeral is the burial place.
828
00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:26,620
That's where the money is going,
you know, Faulkner Cemetery, all
829
00:47:26,620 --> 00:47:32,019
of those big cemeteries, a cost of
fortune to get buried in now, you're
830
00:47:32,020 --> 00:47:34,070
talking minimum five grand for a plot.
831
00:47:34,645 --> 00:47:38,895
You know, and then you've got
all the extras of a coffin.
832
00:47:39,215 --> 00:47:41,605
If you want to live stream it,
there's that extra thousand
833
00:47:41,605 --> 00:47:42,965
dollars for live streaming.
834
00:47:42,995 --> 00:47:46,945
Then you've got, you know, your
flowers and some people can't afford
835
00:47:46,975 --> 00:47:50,555
to get clothes for their loved one
because the clothes that they had
836
00:47:50,575 --> 00:47:54,014
don't fit them anymore or all of
that kind of stuff, which we provide.
837
00:47:54,014 --> 00:47:59,205
We have clothes here for that, for
that instance, we support families.
838
00:47:59,545 --> 00:48:02,095
If they don't have clothes for
the funeral, we've got clothes for
839
00:48:02,095 --> 00:48:03,655
them to support them in that too.
840
00:48:03,655 --> 00:48:03,895
So.
841
00:48:04,455 --> 00:48:07,505
All those little things that we
kind of forget, we're here, we
842
00:48:07,505 --> 00:48:09,095
do support in that type of way.
843
00:48:09,465 --> 00:48:12,425
The funeral service needs all
the funding that they could get.
844
00:48:12,525 --> 00:48:15,255
We just brought a new hearse
because our old hearse broke down.
845
00:48:15,620 --> 00:48:20,360
And it's very old, but we had to
ask community members and community
846
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:24,710
organizations to pitch in for that because
we just do not have the money to support.
847
00:48:25,550 --> 00:48:29,539
Well, we don't have the money to outlay
for a brand new hearse, which is a hundred
848
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:31,649
and well, it's like a hundred grand.
849
00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:32,839
Like it's very expensive.
850
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,044
Yeah.
851
00:48:34,465 --> 00:48:37,695
But we finally got one, which
we want to thank everybody
852
00:48:37,695 --> 00:48:39,175
that had contributed to that.
853
00:48:39,185 --> 00:48:40,035
So thank you.
854
00:48:40,385 --> 00:48:45,685
I just want to say, if anybody
does want to, you can contact the
855
00:48:45,685 --> 00:48:50,924
Aborigines Advancement League and
they can give you a bank details.
856
00:48:50,925 --> 00:48:55,365
And it is purely just for the
Victorian Aboriginal Funeral Service.
857
00:48:55,385 --> 00:48:57,085
It does not go anywhere else.
858
00:48:57,505 --> 00:49:01,725
It is there reserved for those
families that cannot afford.
859
00:49:02,215 --> 00:49:04,625
To lay their loved one to rest.
860
00:49:04,785 --> 00:49:08,325
The other thing that I found that
because of the cost of burials,
861
00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:11,715
a lot of our mob have started to
go the other way in cremating.
862
00:49:12,235 --> 00:49:16,644
I was always told growing up
that you belong to the earth and
863
00:49:16,645 --> 00:49:18,134
when you die, you go back to it.
864
00:49:18,464 --> 00:49:20,025
And that is meaning by burial.
865
00:49:20,134 --> 00:49:24,575
So cremation is somewhat against
what we really do believe.
866
00:49:25,275 --> 00:49:29,535
But families have had to do the
cremation because they just could
867
00:49:29,535 --> 00:49:33,855
not afford to bury their loved ones
where they really wanted them to go.
868
00:49:34,365 --> 00:49:40,925
The other thing is our service
has connections and rapports
869
00:49:40,945 --> 00:49:44,974
with all the local Aboriginal
cemeteries and local councils.
870
00:49:45,075 --> 00:49:51,615
So it doesn't matter if, you know, you're
unsure where you come from or what, or
871
00:49:51,635 --> 00:49:57,315
if you can go home, those people, we
have connections with the elders and they
872
00:49:57,315 --> 00:50:01,125
are there to support you as well, which
we can refer and have a yarn with them.
873
00:50:01,215 --> 00:50:04,565
We have connection to all of
those local land councils.
874
00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:09,005
So going home to be buried is easy
through us because we know who we need
875
00:50:09,034 --> 00:50:13,185
to contact and how we can get you home
safely and culturally appropriate.
876
00:50:13,695 --> 00:50:17,825
The other thing I wanted to say was,
the funeral service do get supports
877
00:50:17,825 --> 00:50:21,574
through other organizations, through
local land councils, they also have
878
00:50:21,574 --> 00:50:24,855
certain amount of money, I'm not saying
they're big amounts, but they do support
879
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:30,305
Aboriginal people through the processing
of, you know, losing a loved one.
880
00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:35,325
It may be, you know, a thousand
dollars to contribute to the funeral.
881
00:50:35,555 --> 00:50:39,035
There's a fantastic, which I'm very
grateful for them at the moment.
882
00:50:39,535 --> 00:50:40,685
They're called Pay the Rent.
883
00:50:41,085 --> 00:50:46,635
They support a lot of our community in
regards to paying off some funerals, or
884
00:50:46,665 --> 00:50:50,515
they give them, you know, some money to
go and buy themselves some new clothes
885
00:50:50,665 --> 00:50:52,575
for the funeral or for the loved one.
886
00:50:52,625 --> 00:50:53,585
So they're very supportive.
887
00:50:53,585 --> 00:50:58,064
So we're very, very thankful that they
are on board with us and they support us.
888
00:50:58,115 --> 00:51:01,135
But again, they're not sort of
massive amount of money and maybe
889
00:51:01,135 --> 00:51:06,755
1, 500, but 1, 500, 1, 500 is good
enough to get the ball rolling.
890
00:51:06,755 --> 00:51:07,504
Yeah.
891
00:51:07,685 --> 00:51:11,795
So yeah, make sure that we put
all of that information and those
892
00:51:11,795 --> 00:51:15,665
links to your website and your
contact details in the show notes.
893
00:51:15,675 --> 00:51:20,255
So people can, you know, go there straight
away and support the work that you're
894
00:51:20,255 --> 00:51:21,924
doing because it really is so important.
895
00:51:22,605 --> 00:51:23,525
Yeah, that would be great.
896
00:51:23,545 --> 00:51:25,005
If you could definitely do that.
897
00:51:25,015 --> 00:51:29,775
Let's try and get some more people around
this beautiful service and supporting them
898
00:51:29,825 --> 00:51:34,584
to keep it going for another 60 years,
because I've used this service myself.
899
00:51:34,645 --> 00:51:39,114
Personally, my partner was not Aboriginal
or Torres Strait Islander, like I did say
900
00:51:39,125 --> 00:51:41,074
earlier, but because of my connection.
901
00:51:41,375 --> 00:51:45,215
Through the funeral service, they
supported me with doing his funeral,
902
00:51:45,215 --> 00:51:46,645
which I'm very thankful for.
903
00:51:47,195 --> 00:51:50,454
I have used it through all of my
family members that have passed
904
00:51:50,455 --> 00:51:54,455
away, their, their first call
for anyone that has passed going
905
00:51:54,455 --> 00:51:56,245
straight to the funeral service.
906
00:51:56,405 --> 00:52:00,155
So I have personally worked in, in it.
907
00:52:00,645 --> 00:52:04,115
I have used it and I am a community
and proud Aboriginal woman.
908
00:52:04,115 --> 00:52:09,885
So this service is essential to our
people, essential to our mobs, and
909
00:52:10,045 --> 00:52:11,835
we don't just support our own people.
910
00:52:11,884 --> 00:52:15,555
You know, if your loved one
is like, we support aunties
911
00:52:15,575 --> 00:52:17,364
that are not Aboriginal, but.
912
00:52:17,740 --> 00:52:20,670
Our uncle, that's their
love of their life.
913
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,420
So their family, it doesn't matter.
914
00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:24,250
So we're not exclusive.
915
00:52:24,370 --> 00:52:26,100
Like we don't exclude anybody.
916
00:52:26,469 --> 00:52:30,910
If you are struggling, you have connection
to community in any shape or form.
917
00:52:31,009 --> 00:52:32,230
We're there to support you.
918
00:52:32,670 --> 00:52:33,569
So it is a service.
919
00:52:34,130 --> 00:52:37,440
purely for cultural reasons for
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
920
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:41,150
people, but we're definitely here
to help if that's what is necessary.
921
00:52:41,150 --> 00:52:44,259
And if that's what a family is
needing, we wouldn't ever turn
922
00:52:44,259 --> 00:52:47,789
down somebody because they're not
Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander.
923
00:52:48,289 --> 00:52:50,570
Well, thank you so much
for your time, Kanesha.
924
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:55,240
And just to explain the amazing
work that you do and also
925
00:52:55,250 --> 00:52:56,860
sharing your very personal story.
926
00:52:57,230 --> 00:52:57,930
Thank you.
927
00:52:58,240 --> 00:52:59,140
Appreciate that.
928
00:52:59,150 --> 00:53:00,160
Thank you very much.
929
00:53:02,910 --> 00:53:06,320
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,
930
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,220
brought to you by Critical Info.
931
00:53:09,150 --> 00:53:13,419
If you liked the episode, learnt something
new, or were touched by a story you
932
00:53:13,420 --> 00:53:15,340
heard, we'd love for you to let us know.
933
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,930
Send us an email, even tell your friends.
934
00:53:18,060 --> 00:53:20,820
Subscribe so you don't
miss out on new episodes.
935
00:53:20,900 --> 00:53:25,180
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936
00:53:25,180 --> 00:53:26,920
helps other people to find the show.
937
00:53:27,220 --> 00:53:28,570
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938
00:53:28,690 --> 00:53:29,680
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939
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,610
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Resources
- Visit the Website: Aborigines Advancement League
- Visit the Website: Pay the Rent
- My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?
Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. Download it here.
- Support Services
If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here.