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NYANA: But we truly believe it
takes a year for a soul to move on.

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So think of it like a
bridge, one end to the other.

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So when they start on this side, they
remember everything of their life.

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You know, they remember who they used to
be, everything they felt and all that.

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00:00:18,209 --> 00:00:22,294
And as they move on ... Read More

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NYANA: But we truly believe it
takes a year for a soul to move on.

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So think of it like a
bridge, one end to the other.

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So when they start on this side, they
remember everything of their life.

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You know, they remember who they used to
be, everything they felt and all that.

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And as they move on to that bridge,
towards the other end of it.

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They're letting go and
forgetting their past life.

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CATHERINE: Welcome to Don't Be
Caught Dead, a podcast encouraging

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00:00:31,585 --> 00:00:35,064
open conversations about dying
and the death of a loved one.

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00:00:35,645 --> 00:00:40,574
I'm your host, Catherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to

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00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,094
bring your stories of death back to life.

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00:00:43,634 --> 00:00:47,870
Because while you may not be ready
to die, At least you can be prepared.

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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations

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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.

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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend

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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First

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Nation peoples around the globe.

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Today, I'm speaking with Nyana
Tanzer, my nephew's wife.

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I

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first met  Nyana 17 years

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CATHERINE: ago on Easter Sunday,
at the Heidi Museum of Modern Art.

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Since then,  Nyana has become

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CATHERINE: an integral part of our family.

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I have had the pleasure of meeting
her mom, Kamla, and her father,

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Vasu, when they traveled to
Australia about seven years ago.

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I have very fond memories of her
father's lamb biryani that he

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cooked for us.

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Nyana was born

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CATHERINE: in Mauritius.

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Her full name is Savida Nyana
Moonoosamy Tanzer she was raised

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Tamil and speaks Creole French.

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I'm really looking forward

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to having  Nyana on the show

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CATHERINE: and just having
a chat in a more formal way.

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So welcome to

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the show,  Nyana.

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Thank you.

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NYANA: We've been really
looking forward to this.

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So

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CATHERINE: finally, I know it's so

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NYANA: good.

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CATHERINE: So can you
tell us a little bit about

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yourself,  Nyana?

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So, My name is  Nyana and Catherine

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NYANA: is my aunt by marriage and
I have two kids, two little ones.

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I was born in Mauritius and
moved here, gosh, about probably

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seven, 18 years ago, roughly.

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And I currently work in early childhood
and in the education department, which is

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really good and something I really enjoy.

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And we live in Canberra, which
is again, quite cold some

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days, but it's lovely here.

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And, yeah, so that's a little
bit about me at the moment.

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CATHERINE: So, did you originally come
to Canberra, or where did you come over

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to when you came over to 17 years ago?

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NYANA: When I first came to Australia, I
was in Melbourne, and I've got a cousin

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there, so like, I went straight there.

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I came to study, and I haven't left, so.

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And what were you studying?

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So, I came in to do a Bachelor
of Arts in Languages and a

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bit of Business Management.

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So I did that for a little bit, which
I think I'll go back to it, but at

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the moment it's really helping me
with my languages, especially with

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education and teaching my kids a little
bit about the different, you know,

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the English and the French part of
languages that we I've learned myself.

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CATHERINE: What languages do you
know and what do you speak at home?

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NYANA: So we speak here, we speak
mainly like English, you know, with

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the kids and a little bit of French.

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tiny little bit of French and a little bit
of Tamil, but not so much, not very well.

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And so these are the three languages I
can, you know, fluent English French,

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but Tamil manageable a little bit.

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CATHERINE: And what
about home in Mauritius?

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You still have family at

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NYANA: home?

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Yeah.

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So we still have, my mum is there.

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I've got my eldest sister's there.

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I've got a sister in Perth, but with
them it's, we speak Creole, which

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is a, quite a bit of French slang.

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So some words are very French, but like,
it's, It's just like an African sort

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of influence of Creole that we speak.

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So back home in Mauritius,
like, we'd be mostly Creole.

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Everyone would speak, or French, but
we're a bilingual sort of country, so

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English and French are the main languages.

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And

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CATHERINE: Creole, how has that
sort of evolved in Mauritius?

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Like, obviously, Mauritius
is off the coast of Africa.

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Yes.

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And then, from my experience with
you, you've actually had, have

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close ties with India as well.

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NYANA: Absolutely.

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So, Mauritius is very much like Australia.

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It's very much of a multicultural
country, so you'll find Indians, Africans.

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to work like, you know, indentured
laborers, merchants and everything I'm

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talking, you know, hundreds of years ago.

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So everyone brought in
their culture and languages.

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So from that, Creole was mostly the
more the dominant sort of language.

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So you'll still get people now,
like, you know, when my grandma was

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still alive, like my mom, my grandma
will speak Hindi to each other.

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You know, like it's, it's most people
like, you know, still remember a

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bit of like, you know, the languages
back, like, you know, from Africa

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or like India, things like that.

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But Creole is like how everyone will
speak is just From back then, like,

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you know, Creole became the language
from everyone moving, immigrants,

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like, all coming up, coming to Moses.

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CATHERINE: So it's like it becomes
a localized dialect, almost.

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It does.

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NYANA: Yeah.

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That's fascinating.

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It might be one word or two will say
the same, but I won't understand if they

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speak Creole to me, I won't understand.

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CATHERINE: It's interesting because
that was when we first met you

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and you know how much my husband
loves the, you know, Louisiana and

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around that area and New Orleans.

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And, and that was the first thing he
said, he's like, Creole, you speak Creole.

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That's when they speak in Louisiana.

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And again, that would probably be a
different kind of version of Creole.

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NYANA: Yeah, absolutely.

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I don't think there'd be one or two words
here and there that might be same, but

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it would just be completely different.

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Dialect, I'd say.

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But I guess even food related,
like the tomato based sort of

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food, like the Creole, like spices.

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It's quite similar but different at the
same time, like, so even food is very

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like, funny how like, you know, you
say Creole, you think of a language,

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but it's more like it's a culture.

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It's food, it's how you dress,
you know, like, it's all that.

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CATHERINE: And tell me what is some
of the, some of the food, like I, I

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mentioned lamb biryani with your dad.

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That's certainly very much in, in my mind.

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Yeah.

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One other.

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sort of things.

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There was those amazing fried
things that we snacked on

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beforehand that your mum made.

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They were amazing.

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Yeah, so they,

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NYANA: they, look, it's like food, honey.

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Again, it's Indian influenced.

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Again, there's our Mauritian take on it.

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I'm pretty sure we did, it was things
like samosas and like spring rolls

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and like little, what we call gâteau
piment, which is like chili cakes.

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Yeah.

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And I remember coming over one
time for lunch and Rod made like,

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what we call, I think beignet.

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Beignet.

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Beignet.

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He called it, I think.

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Oh, hashbrowns, polenta balls.

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00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:13,079
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And I was like, looks like while
we're eating munchies, I remember

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having that conversation with him.

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And I was like, yeah, you got to
like soak the split peas and you

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put coriander, you put cumin.

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And he's like.

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Yeah, cumin and things like that.

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And again, like I said, the Creole sort
of influence on food, it can be similar

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00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,809
and then different again at the same time.

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But yeah, so like, I'm pretty sure
that was what they made that day.

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CATHERINE: Yes.

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Well, it certainly is, is a
very vivid memory in my mind.

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NYANA: Now your

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CATHERINE: dad is no longer with us.

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NYANA: Yeah.

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So since then, I think when they came
over, it was about 10 years ago, actually.

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I think it was.

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2013, 2014, they came over since
then in 2019, my dad passed away

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from some health complications, which
he had from childhood, actually.

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00:08:02,224 --> 00:08:05,324
And, um, that was actually the
first time I ever saw someone

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00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:08,984
who had passed away a body, like
someone who's no longer with us.

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He passed away a month, just a
very month short of his 70th.

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Birthday.

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And yeah, like, you know, you've met him.

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He's someone who is very, very
happy, you know, always up for a

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joke and, you know, loved food.

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You know, we all share that
passion and love for food.

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He had gone to India to undergo
surgery, but unfortunately he didn't

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get to do the surgery that time.

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There wasn't enough time.

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He, his health declined fairly quickly.

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And he passed away in India.

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And like I said, that for me, that
was, I was already in Australia

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00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:51,149
when my grandma passed away.

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And so my aunties passed away and you
know, it's hard to travel all the time

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00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,969
and you can't get there in time sometimes.

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And, but when my dad wasn't
well and he had gone to India,

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00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:05,270
my mom was there with him.

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00:09:06,525 --> 00:09:12,125
And when they saw his health was declining
fairly quickly, my sister flew over as

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00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,615
well, my sister who lives in Mauritius.

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00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:18,494
So, at the time, her kids were quite
young as well, so I'm like, you know

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00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:23,315
what, and my youngest, at the time I had
one, my first one, and I'm like, look,

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00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:28,290
I will fly over and help, you know, with
the kids while you're over in India.

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00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:31,719
And that's just so, like, so happens.

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I was emotious when it all happened.

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And my sister who's in Perth,
unfortunately, she didn't have

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the time to get there, like,
in time, like, flying there.

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So yeah, so my dad passed away, so
it's five years now he's been gone and

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00:09:46,615 --> 00:09:51,564
you know, it's you still think of the
person, you know, like at the time I

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00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,324
hated when people were telling me he's
in a better place, like, you know,

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00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:55,679
he's not suffering when I'm like, but.

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I'd rather he was here still, you know,
like, but then, you know, as time goes by,

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00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,989
you think like, yeah, he wasn't well, he
was suffering now that suffering is gone.

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00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:08,519
Like, you know, he was in hospital
for a while, like I think three

202
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:13,249
weeks or so for like, when he, his
health declined even very quickly,

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00:10:13,609 --> 00:10:15,249
even a month, I think it was.

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00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:18,209
And you know, it's not nice, you
know, it's not a good feeling seeing

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00:10:18,209 --> 00:10:20,350
someone who used to be so happy.

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00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:23,899
He would go for walks all the time
with like, tubes here and there,

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00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:28,969
like, you know, it's It's a very,
um, daunting sort of, very, you know,

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00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:33,069
heartbreaking thing to see, you know,
especially when you've done the person.

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00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,180
CATHERINE: That is so true.

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00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:38,170
And were you seeing this
via FaceTime with your mum?

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00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,500
Is that how, because
you were in Mauritius?

212
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:40,459
Yeah, absolutely.

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00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:40,699
Yeah.

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00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:41,219
So,

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00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,179
NYANA: well, it started when
I was still in Australia here.

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00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,510
So we was all FaceTime, luckily
like these days, you know.

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00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:48,735
from your phone.

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00:10:48,745 --> 00:10:51,485
Like, we all have a little
computer in our pockets these days.

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00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:52,175
Like, it was easy.

220
00:10:52,175 --> 00:10:53,775
You can just call and video call.

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00:10:53,775 --> 00:10:56,705
You don't have to wait for, like,
to be connected to, like, have

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00:10:56,705 --> 00:10:59,085
a laptop, a computer, you know.

223
00:10:59,094 --> 00:11:01,775
Like, you know, with webcams, how
we used to plug these and Skype

224
00:11:01,775 --> 00:11:02,864
and all that back in the day.

225
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:06,075
Like, so we just used to do,
like, video calls and she'd

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00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,890
And should like, you know, when he
was okay, it should send us photos

227
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:16,280
and we were able to connect with him
at the time when his health declined.

228
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,029
He was just, you know, there was,
we couldn't miss like, you know,

229
00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,239
he couldn't converse with us.

230
00:11:20,239 --> 00:11:22,919
Like, we couldn't, he was just
like, you know, sleeping a lot

231
00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,120
of the time because, you know.

232
00:11:25,495 --> 00:11:31,415
A lot of, like, medical procedures,
it's very tiring on the body, so, yeah.

233
00:11:31,545 --> 00:11:34,544
CATHERINE: And when you say
that this was the first time

234
00:11:34,545 --> 00:11:36,675
that you'd seen a dead body.

235
00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:37,745
NYANA: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

236
00:11:38,094 --> 00:11:40,334
CATHERINE: So, what was
that experience like?

237
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:43,504
Was that also virtually, or did
you actually do that, have an

238
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:45,014
opportunity to do that in person?

239
00:11:45,015 --> 00:11:45,935
I was,

240
00:11:45,935 --> 00:11:49,754
NYANA: this is, that's the
other thing now, so, when he

241
00:11:49,754 --> 00:11:51,374
passed away, I was emotionless.

242
00:11:52,094 --> 00:11:57,324
And they were in India, then my mom had
the option whether to do the cremation

243
00:11:57,324 --> 00:12:01,375
in India itself or do the repatriation.

244
00:12:01,675 --> 00:12:04,835
And she's like, no, we're going to
repatriate no matter what, you know,

245
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,845
we'll bring him back to his house
before we farewell him, you know?

246
00:12:07,845 --> 00:12:11,564
So now bare in mind, like I was
there, it was just me, the kids

247
00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:14,615
and my brother in law was there and
had an auntie there and all that.

248
00:12:14,615 --> 00:12:14,845
But.

249
00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:18,400
You know, when someone passes
away, you've got all these things

250
00:12:18,510 --> 00:12:20,370
like, okay, where do we start?

251
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,870
And he passed away in the evening.

252
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:28,700
So I think it was seven o'clock, 730,
the time in Mauritius that evening.

253
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,019
And straight away, here
I am calling airlines.

254
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,759
I'll be like, okay, this just happened.

255
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,170
What's our next step?

256
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,600
What do you need from us to
repatriate the body over to Mauritius?

257
00:12:38,829 --> 00:12:43,090
Now, India and Mauritius, it's about
seven hours, the flight, and they

258
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,400
were giving me all this information.

259
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:44,610
Okay.

260
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,529
We need this form.

261
00:12:45,529 --> 00:12:46,770
We need this paperwork.

262
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:48,349
We need the body.

263
00:12:48,349 --> 00:12:51,280
Like, you know, they have to do, I
think it's embalming, it's called.

264
00:12:51,929 --> 00:12:52,079
CATHERINE: Yeah.

265
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:52,399
Yeah.

266
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:52,919
NYANA: Do.

267
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,689
You have to do all that so
the body lasts the flight.

268
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,330
And then it's all about timing.

269
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,940
So like, okay, when will the flight land?

270
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:03,600
And when will we start the
funeral process and all that?

271
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:09,780
So that was the thing, like, so for me,
but when that happened back then, like,

272
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,599
you know, the body was still in India.

273
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,200
You don't have a concept yet
that someone's passed away.

274
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,990
Cause you're like, so, okay,
we've got to get this done.

275
00:13:17,485 --> 00:13:21,015
You know, like we're going to get,
you know, it's embalming and all

276
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:24,345
paperwork, it takes, it's not, it
doesn't get, it doesn't get done

277
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,215
like this, you know, it takes time.

278
00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:29,875
So then I was communicating with
my sister, like, okay, we need

279
00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:31,155
to do this, we need to do that.

280
00:13:31,714 --> 00:13:36,244
You need to go get this form and start
this process and then we'll send it

281
00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:39,834
to the airline and then they can book
their flights, like, you know, move

282
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:42,905
their flights to that particular flight.

283
00:13:42,915 --> 00:13:47,064
So it was very much like,
oh my goodness, like.

284
00:13:47,729 --> 00:13:49,890
You know, it's something you
don't expect will happen.

285
00:13:50,089 --> 00:13:50,390
And I'm

286
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:53,770
CATHERINE: assuming that your mum,
Kamala, wanted to actually fly on

287
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,699
the same flight as your dad's body.

288
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:02,289
You know, so that's another logistic
to actually consider in amongst all of

289
00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:03,140
NYANA: that as well.

290
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:03,830
Absolutely.

291
00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:05,639
So there was a family
friend went with them.

292
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:09,780
So that was her, my mum, my sister,
so three, you know, because they

293
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:11,100
already had the tickets back home.

294
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,424
But it was just like, we have to
move the flight now, like, you

295
00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:18,034
know, and then the airline, like
what they have available as well.

296
00:14:18,034 --> 00:14:20,904
And the good thing with India, there's
frequent flights between Mauritius,

297
00:14:21,274 --> 00:14:22,685
like people fly to India a fair bit.

298
00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:26,014
So which is good if it was
somewhere different where

299
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:27,194
there's only like two flights.

300
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:28,330
Per week.

301
00:14:28,370 --> 00:14:29,050
It's even harder.

302
00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:31,230
I think pretty sure we had,
there was the flights a bit

303
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,890
more frequent and seven hours.

304
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,449
It's long, but it's not that long.

305
00:14:35,449 --> 00:14:38,319
It's not like you're changing
flights as well, which would

306
00:14:38,329 --> 00:14:40,039
have been harder as well.

307
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:43,620
If there was no direct
flights, but straight away.

308
00:14:44,279 --> 00:14:48,449
First thing I did when I
found out that happened, we.

309
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:53,570
In my culture, we light a lamp straight
away for that person and you find

310
00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:55,350
a photo of them and you put a lamp.

311
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:58,950
You light a, um, oil, like a little
oil lamp, you light that, and you

312
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:02,333
probably know, like in the little
lamps that we use for Diwali, like

313
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:03,894
the little deer that we, yeah.

314
00:15:04,435 --> 00:15:07,694
That we'll like one of
these and that stays on.

315
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,625
So that was the first thing I
did before getting on the phone.

316
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:17,125
And then the, Oh, he
had like a funeral plan.

317
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:21,155
So this is companies in Mauritius were
like, you know, it's like an insurance.

318
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:23,105
You pay them like a monthly fee or so.

319
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:27,444
And when it happened to fit, like
your person passes away, they

320
00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:28,734
come literally take over the boat.

321
00:15:28,764 --> 00:15:30,055
Like they come and take the body.

322
00:15:30,574 --> 00:15:33,925
They will come and like, you know, do
set up like the little tents because

323
00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:35,275
funerals in Mauritius, like it's.

324
00:15:35,964 --> 00:15:38,644
People will come, bring chairs, they
will all sit, like it's like a wake.

325
00:15:39,274 --> 00:15:41,944
They will all sit together, like, you
know, people will come straight away.

326
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:45,794
And at night family members will come
in straight away, like my cousins

327
00:15:45,794 --> 00:15:47,614
who live close by came straight away.

328
00:15:48,134 --> 00:15:51,285
And even though it was like 10 o'clock
at night, they all came and they're like,

329
00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:52,704
okay, we've got to set up the house.

330
00:15:52,964 --> 00:15:56,274
You know, we go like, let's move
furniture, you know, because

331
00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:59,464
people will come, we'll need the
space to do, you know, bring the

332
00:15:59,464 --> 00:16:01,724
body for prayers and all that.

333
00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:03,289
So, and people will come and visit.

334
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:06,810
My auntie came, like, seven o'clock,
the first bus she could get, she

335
00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,959
came over straight away the next day.

336
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:14,430
So, true Mauritius is very much like,
a very cultural thing, like, Neighbours

337
00:16:14,449 --> 00:16:18,839
would come, I think, the next, like, my
closest neighbours came as well, came

338
00:16:18,839 --> 00:16:23,560
over, and by then, like, you know, like,
My mom wasn't there, my sister wasn't

339
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,190
there, it was just my brother in law,
me and my teenager nephew's niece, and

340
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:32,870
I was like, God, like, you know, and
then I had my youngest at the time, she

341
00:16:32,870 --> 00:16:37,090
was only like two and two and a half,
and she was like, what's going on?

342
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:38,079
What's happening?

343
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:42,469
CATHERINE: And so you were in
Australia when your grandmother died.

344
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:43,420
Yes.

345
00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:46,990
And also an aunt had
passed away, hadn't they?

346
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:47,600
Yeah.

347
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:52,550
So was this the first time you'd
sort of stepped up as sort of in

348
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,350
a matriarch kind of role where?

349
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,319
NYANA: Oh, like absolutely.

350
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:59,830
So that's something I've never done
before to like calling, like my main, my

351
00:16:59,830 --> 00:17:01,779
biggest memory is calling the airline.

352
00:17:01,779 --> 00:17:04,165
I'll be like, What do I do?

353
00:17:04,165 --> 00:17:07,845
Because, you know, like, from, I
wasn't going to make, you know, the

354
00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:09,765
airline in Mauritius, like, it's 24 7.

355
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:11,835
I was like, you know, I'm
like, I'm already here.

356
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:15,345
Told my mum, my sister, no, like,
I'll call because They will tell

357
00:17:15,345 --> 00:17:18,015
me what needs to be done instead
of them calling from India.

358
00:17:18,855 --> 00:17:22,815
So it was like, what do, what,
like, you know, like, what do I

359
00:17:22,815 --> 00:17:25,034
do in passing on that information?

360
00:17:25,495 --> 00:17:27,494
And then my brother in law was
looking after, like, you know,

361
00:17:27,535 --> 00:17:30,654
talking to that funeral company to
organize, you know, like, okay, we

362
00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:34,035
need to like, okay, the next day we
need to start putting on the radio.

363
00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:36,755
You need to announce like, you
know, the death and all that.

364
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:37,057
And we do that.

365
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:40,835
And most you'd be on paper in on the
newspaper and you'll be on the radio.

366
00:17:41,705 --> 00:17:42,685
Wow, okay.

367
00:17:42,735 --> 00:17:43,705
Yeah, yeah.

368
00:17:43,774 --> 00:17:47,734
Look, look, Mauritius is a small
little country, so, you know.

369
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:48,335
What's the

370
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,534
CATHERINE: population of Mauritius?

371
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:54,685
NYANA: Now, it's, oh goodness,
I would say less than 2 million.

372
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:56,084
CATHERINE: Yeah, yeah, right.

373
00:17:56,134 --> 00:18:00,725
Isn't that amazing that, like, I've heard
certainly, you know, when, Barry died,

374
00:18:00,725 --> 00:18:05,585
my father, you know, grandpa, like we,
we put it in the local newspaper, but you

375
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,555
also actually did it on the radio as well.

376
00:18:07,565 --> 00:18:07,775
Yeah,

377
00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:08,555
NYANA: they do on the radio.

378
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:08,835
Yep.

379
00:18:09,535 --> 00:18:10,705
Online on the radio.

380
00:18:11,105 --> 00:18:15,174
And like, you know, like
you'll be twice a day to do it.

381
00:18:15,174 --> 00:18:17,295
So there's a morning one and
then an evening one to do.

382
00:18:18,604 --> 00:18:20,019
And a lot of like.

383
00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:27,500
Elderly people rely on that because,
look, not everyone in Mauritius, like my

384
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:33,109
parents are the generation who've gone
to school and learned, like, you know,

385
00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:36,780
learned how to read, how to write, but
like my generation, like my grandma,

386
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,230
they didn't go to school, you know,
and if they did, they probably went

387
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:44,640
for like first grade or second grade,
like, you know, so a lot of elderly

388
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,330
people don't know how to read and write.

389
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:47,570
So they rely on radio.

390
00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:48,955
Of course.

391
00:18:49,374 --> 00:18:52,569
For all the news and knowing like, Oh,
I know this person who's passed away.

392
00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:54,705
And the thing in Mauritius, right?

393
00:18:54,754 --> 00:18:55,735
People don't move around.

394
00:18:56,235 --> 00:19:00,454
Like my dad was like, where he is,
like, you know, we've had that land,

395
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:04,590
God, like, you know, the, the, my
parents house, like it gets, just

396
00:19:04,590 --> 00:19:06,224
gets passed on to like generations.

397
00:19:06,224 --> 00:19:10,364
Like I block a land, probably a
hundred years, you know, 150 years.

398
00:19:10,364 --> 00:19:11,754
Like, you know, this
has been like in that.

399
00:19:12,145 --> 00:19:15,825
I would like the family and that's
what everyone really, it's very rare.

400
00:19:15,985 --> 00:19:16,945
People move around.

401
00:19:16,945 --> 00:19:20,375
Even when you get married, like my mom
got married and came to, you know, this

402
00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:22,685
house, they were married at the time.

403
00:19:22,685 --> 00:19:25,864
They were married 41, 42
years when my dad passed away.

404
00:19:26,634 --> 00:19:28,424
So she knows all the neighbours as well.

405
00:19:28,424 --> 00:19:30,245
Like, you know, like you've
been there for 40 years.

406
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,260
So she knows everyone, you know, So

407
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,040
CATHERINE: you were the first generation
to really, you and Nila were the first

408
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,613
ones to really move out of Mauritius.

409
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:40,136
Yeah,

410
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:40,659
NYANA: absolutely.

411
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:41,720
Yeah, absolutely.

412
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,709
Oh my goodness.

413
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,319
Okay.

414
00:19:43,319 --> 00:19:44,029
Yeah.

415
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:44,649
Yeah, absolutely.

416
00:19:44,959 --> 00:19:50,490
And my generation now, my school
friends, probably half of them

417
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,510
aren't in Mauritius anymore.

418
00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:53,410
Like, you know, a lot of my
friends are all over the sea.

419
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:56,150
So like, it's funny how like
generations, how they are like,

420
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:57,050
you know, my grandparents.

421
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,760
You know how to read or write and
then my parents went to school, you

422
00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:03,710
know, got to do like, you know, Fish
High School and things like that.

423
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:08,440
And then my generation, you know, went
to uni and then move, you know, like

424
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,060
we were able to like move countries and

425
00:20:11,499 --> 00:20:15,124
CATHERINE: Such change in really
probably a 50 year period, isn't it?

426
00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:15,424
Yeah.

427
00:20:15,805 --> 00:20:16,225
Yeah.

428
00:20:16,295 --> 00:20:16,665
Yeah.

429
00:20:16,895 --> 00:20:17,625
Phenomenal.

430
00:20:18,165 --> 00:20:21,685
And when you found yourself in
this situation, um, with your

431
00:20:21,685 --> 00:20:23,195
brother in law and the, the,

432
00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:25,505
NYANA: yeah, your niece

433
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:29,574
CATHERINE: and nephew, you know,
so as I was saying, you hadn't

434
00:20:29,575 --> 00:20:31,074
actually been there for the other.

435
00:20:31,225 --> 00:20:32,555
Family members funerals.

436
00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:33,854
NYANA: So

437
00:20:33,855 --> 00:20:35,625
CATHERINE: how did you go navigating that?

438
00:20:35,745 --> 00:20:39,615
Was it the funeral company that helped you
kind of work out what you needed to do, or

439
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,765
did you always know what you needed to do?

440
00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:42,684
NYANA: No.

441
00:20:42,684 --> 00:20:46,245
So once we've sorted out
repatriation and what's happening.

442
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,180
Then the cultural part came in it.

443
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:54,910
So straight away, I'm quite sure for the
first, the first day or three days, you

444
00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:56,930
do not turn off the lights in the house.

445
00:20:57,149 --> 00:20:58,440
You light up the whole house.

446
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,969
So nighttime you go to bed,
the light is on, you know, like

447
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:02,820
you turn on in the main areas.

448
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,730
Now, if you're asking what,
why, I am not too sure.

449
00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:07,459
Like it's just something
we've always done.

450
00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:08,209
Like I know.

451
00:21:08,729 --> 00:21:11,689
And my mom was telling me, turn on all
the lights, leave all the lights on.

452
00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:15,160
And I remember her talking about it
when my grandma passed away, like, you

453
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,760
know, in her house, they stayed there
and they had to turn on all the lights.

454
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:19,320
So that was the first thing we did.

455
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,129
And like, you know, the lamp,
the first thing we do is light

456
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:22,820
the lamp for that person.

457
00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:24,649
CATHERINE: And what's
the significance of that?

458
00:21:24,879 --> 00:21:27,260
Is that just as a memorial

459
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:27,310
NYANA: or?

460
00:21:28,099 --> 00:21:31,760
It is in a way, but also
like, it's a light for them.

461
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:35,040
Like, you know, it's like
to, to light their way in.

462
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:41,070
The God that in Rakosha we, we pray,
it's Shiva, if you've heard about

463
00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:46,989
Shiva, so you play mantras and songs
about Shiva with our lamb, like

464
00:21:46,989 --> 00:21:48,320
you just play that all the time.

465
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,779
I was turning it off at night
because, you know, kids need to sleep.

466
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:56,520
So like, you know, then organizing like
what we'll need, but like I said, a

467
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,179
lot of it got done in India as well.

468
00:21:58,190 --> 00:21:58,909
Like the clothes.

469
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,730
That the person was going to wear, so
then it's traditional, like a kurta,

470
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,850
traditional clothes that they wear.

471
00:22:06,399 --> 00:22:08,459
So my mom had that sorted in India.

472
00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:09,449
She did all that.

473
00:22:10,130 --> 00:22:15,710
But let's say if that had
happened in Mauritius, so they

474
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:17,159
would have bathed the body.

475
00:22:17,540 --> 00:22:21,520
So it's like in a way, it's like you
purificate, like the purification.

476
00:22:22,399 --> 00:22:26,379
Of the body, they would have, you
know, bathe the body and straight

477
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:30,610
away wrapped it up in like, and
put that traditional tire on them,

478
00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:31,870
like the night that it happened.

479
00:22:31,899 --> 00:22:36,930
And they start like, you
know, there'd be like flowers,

480
00:22:37,140 --> 00:22:38,910
darlings and things like that.

481
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,519
You, you'd get straightaway.

482
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:45,269
CATHERINE: And is there a
particular flower that is used or

483
00:22:45,634 --> 00:22:45,854
NYANA: No?

484
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:46,229
No.

485
00:22:46,559 --> 00:22:47,699
Anything really.

486
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:48,840
Any flowers really.

487
00:22:49,415 --> 00:22:52,925
I remember the first couple of days,
the roses for him, you know, us

488
00:22:52,925 --> 00:22:56,385
girls, like we all got him like little
roses and all that, but it's really

489
00:22:56,385 --> 00:23:00,995
eddy flowers, like eddy flowers,
really, that's available at the time.

490
00:23:01,604 --> 00:23:05,194
Look, emotions, usually funerals
happen pretty quickly within like

491
00:23:05,224 --> 00:23:07,924
24 hours, 48 hours, you know.

492
00:23:08,225 --> 00:23:13,595
If autosignal needs to be done, they
will do that, but it's fairly quick.

493
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:17,465
So usually within 24 hours, 48 hours,
funerals happen when someone passes

494
00:23:17,465 --> 00:23:20,315
away, but this one was a long process.

495
00:23:20,355 --> 00:23:24,715
Like I think it was, look, I think it was
either Monday or Tuesday, he passed away

496
00:23:24,715 --> 00:23:29,924
and funeral wasn't until like Friday,
so for us it was a long day, like it was

497
00:23:29,924 --> 00:23:35,584
a long time because again, the flight,
getting all that organized took most of

498
00:23:35,584 --> 00:23:38,364
the time and then the actual company.

499
00:23:38,364 --> 00:23:38,694
Yeah.

500
00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:38,709
Yeah.

501
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:42,220
The day of the funeral, or the day
before they came in to set up like

502
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:45,480
a big tent so people can sit on
anything, and they brought chairs.

503
00:23:45,899 --> 00:23:48,720
There's plastic chairs, picnic chairs
sort of thing, they brought all that.

504
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:51,320
Usually they would have provided a coffin.

505
00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:57,815
Yeah, but because it was, the body was
flying in, it was already like a flight,

506
00:23:57,945 --> 00:23:59,315
you know, one that can be on the plane.

507
00:23:59,715 --> 00:23:59,925
Yeah.

508
00:23:59,965 --> 00:24:04,024
So, and by then you don't move the
body, you know, like just left him in

509
00:24:04,024 --> 00:24:05,915
there, but mostly what we had to do.

510
00:24:05,915 --> 00:24:07,714
So, so my brother in law
was looking after that.

511
00:24:07,715 --> 00:24:10,389
So you gotta like find all
the paperwork, like, you know.

512
00:24:10,390 --> 00:24:12,889
birth certificates, like, you
know, because of course he

513
00:24:12,889 --> 00:24:13,570
didn't, they didn't travel.

514
00:24:13,570 --> 00:24:18,469
He only had his password with him,
so you gotta need all this paperwork.

515
00:24:18,469 --> 00:24:21,927
So that was like the hunt for all
this, you know, so my brother in

516
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:25,319
law was looking after all this,
like all the paperwork sort of that

517
00:24:25,319 --> 00:24:27,070
we knew required to do all that.

518
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,480
So, yeah, that was, look, like I said,
until you see the body, like, it doesn't

519
00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:34,540
sink in like, Oh, someone's passed away.

520
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:38,030
And then the day the body came
as well, like, you know, it just

521
00:24:38,409 --> 00:24:39,259
looks like they're sleeping really.

522
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,329
Like, he had just been on the flight and
the way they had done the body, like, you

523
00:24:42,329 --> 00:24:45,770
know, the embalming, I think that was the
first time I've touched someone like that.

524
00:24:45,770 --> 00:24:47,393
It was like touching an ice cube.

525
00:24:47,393 --> 00:24:50,290
Like, it was very hard, like,
because they had to do it.

526
00:24:50,340 --> 00:24:54,409
So the body would last the seven
hours on a flight and everyone

527
00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:55,649
came like, they went like.

528
00:24:55,959 --> 00:24:58,600
We've got people in the front of
the yard, in the house, on the

529
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,060
street, like, you know, people who

530
00:25:01,060 --> 00:25:01,389
CATHERINE: knew.

531
00:25:01,899 --> 00:25:07,089
So as part of your tradition that
everyone, it's like a public viewing

532
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:11,319
where they come and pay their respects
and view your father's body and

533
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,039
pay their respects to the family.

534
00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:15,600
And that's, is that in?

535
00:25:16,305 --> 00:25:20,985
The lead up to the funeral, like, or
is that on the day of the funeral?

536
00:25:20,985 --> 00:25:21,835
How does that work

537
00:25:22,155 --> 00:25:23,005
NYANA: on the day of the funeral?

538
00:25:23,005 --> 00:25:26,775
So literally, when the body came,
it got brought into the house and

539
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:29,725
then everyone like, sort of like
lined up and like, you know, to pay

540
00:25:29,725 --> 00:25:31,995
their respect to him and it was open.

541
00:25:32,905 --> 00:25:36,945
Like, open cast and everyone could
see him and pay their respect and

542
00:25:36,945 --> 00:25:40,985
like, he was someone who was very,
very, very active in society as well.

543
00:25:41,505 --> 00:25:44,965
Like I said, he's lived in that
suburb, in that village his whole life.

544
00:25:45,584 --> 00:25:46,334
His parents did.

545
00:25:46,334 --> 00:25:49,344
So everyone, you know, knew
who he was and I think he was

546
00:25:49,344 --> 00:25:51,345
very active with the community.

547
00:25:51,345 --> 00:25:55,304
So everyone knew like,
okay, he's passed away.

548
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,355
So everyone came, paid their respect
to him and my mom and you know,

549
00:25:58,855 --> 00:26:03,085
and in that time to the reprisals
that gets done, the mantras.

550
00:26:03,435 --> 00:26:06,524
Like, you know, the songs,
everyone's singing, like it's

551
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:10,145
just to help the purification
and helping the soul to move on.

552
00:26:10,685 --> 00:26:14,285
And also in my culture, like the
women, when they get married, they

553
00:26:14,285 --> 00:26:19,084
have to wear like, like a necklace,
which symbolizes like a wedding ring.

554
00:26:19,475 --> 00:26:23,525
So this has to be removed because
that's like my, like my, my mom,

555
00:26:23,535 --> 00:26:24,685
because her husband's passed away.

556
00:26:24,685 --> 00:26:25,745
So she can't wear that anymore.

557
00:26:26,324 --> 00:26:26,685
You know?

558
00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:30,904
So there's a prayer for that as well for
her, like just to get to remove that.

559
00:26:30,905 --> 00:26:31,599
And does

560
00:26:31,599 --> 00:26:32,986
CATHERINE: it follow a certain

561
00:26:32,986 --> 00:26:34,424
structure,  Nyana, or like,

562
00:26:34,454 --> 00:26:36,615
CATHERINE: and, and just,
just so I'm trying to get my

563
00:26:36,734 --> 00:26:38,014
head around how this works.

564
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:42,055
So in the, the lead up to your
father's body arriving in the home,

565
00:26:42,455 --> 00:26:45,045
you've already got people who are
arriving and giving their respects.

566
00:26:45,475 --> 00:26:49,625
And I'm checking on you and do
they provide food during this time?

567
00:26:49,855 --> 00:26:50,095
NYANA: Yes.

568
00:26:50,525 --> 00:26:53,555
So they did because my
dad was being cremated.

569
00:26:53,754 --> 00:26:58,045
So when that happens, not allowed
to light anything in the house

570
00:26:58,095 --> 00:27:00,115
and it's all gas stove in Mocious.

571
00:27:00,844 --> 00:27:03,284
So we weren't allowed to
cook, to prepare anything.

572
00:27:03,975 --> 00:27:08,315
So neighbours and family members
brought us all our meals like tea in

573
00:27:08,315 --> 00:27:10,615
the morning, like breakfast, snacks.

574
00:27:11,185 --> 00:27:14,054
So it's part of that cultural thing.

575
00:27:14,054 --> 00:27:17,810
Like, you know, and that, like
I said, But I thought he passed

576
00:27:17,810 --> 00:27:20,220
away and to the funeral, there
was a good three, four days.

577
00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:24,490
So for three, four days we're being
cooked and we relied on family, like, you

578
00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:27,460
know, neighbours to come and bring food
for us, which they did straight away.

579
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:30,470
Like, you know, even though my sister was
like, you know, organizing with a phone,

580
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,099
like people knew like straight away.

581
00:27:32,179 --> 00:27:36,449
We had a family friend whose husband
passed away not long before that.

582
00:27:36,449 --> 00:27:40,070
And I remember she came in the next
day and brought me like, A big basket

583
00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:43,970
and it was like, she made tea, she
brought milk, sugar, everything.

584
00:27:43,970 --> 00:27:48,480
And she made like fried little
fried food, like for us to eat.

585
00:27:48,659 --> 00:27:51,690
And they were asking me like,
you know, cause I said, I had

586
00:27:51,690 --> 00:27:52,700
my youngest with me at the time.

587
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,080
Like mom had only the one and she
was two and a half and I said, she

588
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,259
wasn't understanding what's going on.

589
00:27:58,470 --> 00:28:00,250
And at the time she wanted
to eat this and eat that.

590
00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:03,910
And they were like asking me like, and
it had to be vegetarian food as well.

591
00:28:03,910 --> 00:28:05,880
So you, you fast as well.

592
00:28:06,349 --> 00:28:07,680
It's our new vegetables.

593
00:28:07,935 --> 00:28:11,115
You eat, you don't, there's no meat,
you don't eat meat during the time.

594
00:28:11,735 --> 00:28:16,455
So, like I said, you rely so much on
families and neighbours, you know, like

595
00:28:16,455 --> 00:28:18,465
to, to help you with things and set up.

596
00:28:19,005 --> 00:28:22,024
We had to take up, like, you know,
make the walls all bare in the house.

597
00:28:22,024 --> 00:28:22,535
Sorry about that.

598
00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:25,385
Like, one of the neighbours is coming,
like, you know, she came with me and

599
00:28:25,385 --> 00:28:26,574
now she's just pulling everything out.

600
00:28:26,614 --> 00:28:28,055
She's like, where do
you want me to put this?

601
00:28:28,055 --> 00:28:29,665
And So you have to remove

602
00:28:29,935 --> 00:28:32,385
CATHERINE: all of the, the
adornments from the wall.

603
00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:33,050
NYANA: Oh, we did.

604
00:28:33,110 --> 00:28:33,330
Yes.

605
00:28:33,330 --> 00:28:35,299
Yeah.

606
00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:35,480
Yeah.

607
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,450
You just, you're in mourning.

608
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:42,780
So like, you know, so you, you took
everything off the walls and you just

609
00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:45,770
take everything off and like, I'm bars
while on the death, you know, we have

610
00:28:45,770 --> 00:28:47,790
to cover mirrors and things like that.

611
00:28:47,899 --> 00:28:48,539
I don't know why.

612
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,840
It's just something that, you know,
family, the ancestors always did.

613
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,409
So it's like something
that just carried on.

614
00:28:54,429 --> 00:28:55,590
We just do it.

615
00:28:56,095 --> 00:28:58,711
Yeah, and I never thought about
asking why we did this, like, I think

616
00:28:58,711 --> 00:29:00,066
it's just a cultural thing, though.

617
00:29:00,066 --> 00:29:00,518
Well, I

618
00:29:00,518 --> 00:29:02,995
CATHERINE: suppose it's something
that you've always just done,

619
00:29:03,015 --> 00:29:03,425
NYANA: isn't it?

620
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:04,435
Yeah, absolutely.

621
00:29:04,625 --> 00:29:09,175
CATHERINE: I have to say that there
is something in the fact that your

622
00:29:09,175 --> 00:29:15,245
tradition has recognised that people
who are in mourning and in shock and

623
00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:22,040
in that sort of state of grief, That
A, they probably can't really digest

624
00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:24,160
really heavy foods during that time.

625
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:29,190
So you're, you know, it's actually adopted
to a more vegetarian, lighter diet.

626
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,379
And then also the fact that it's
actually encouraged that, you know,

627
00:29:34,410 --> 00:29:38,509
you're not the ones cooking, but it's
the community taking care of you.

628
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:42,580
That is a beautiful thing at a
time where you really need it.

629
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:43,800
NYANA: Yeah, exactly.

630
00:29:44,180 --> 00:29:47,200
I'm not sure if it's related
to the cremation part of it.

631
00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:51,460
Like that you don't light a fire because
the next fire that's getting lit is either

632
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,329
for prayers like lamps or for the pyre.

633
00:29:54,860 --> 00:29:56,850
Like, so I'm not sure.

634
00:29:57,049 --> 00:29:57,719
I think it's something.

635
00:29:58,230 --> 00:29:59,900
to do with that in relation as well.

636
00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:00,150
So,

637
00:30:00,390 --> 00:30:00,840
CATHERINE: well, my

638
00:30:00,870 --> 00:30:02,810
logistical brain,  Nyana, thinks it's

639
00:30:02,810 --> 00:30:03,780
CATHERINE: very practical.

640
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,560
I think it's, you know, from a,
from a caring and a community

641
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,319
perspective, I think it's amazing.

642
00:30:10,450 --> 00:30:10,930
Yeah.

643
00:30:11,439 --> 00:30:15,030
NYANA: And I feel like even if like, you
know, you are allowed to like, A file

644
00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:19,400
like you need to cook meals and all that
someone would have come to cook the meals

645
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,580
for you in the house even in the house
if they're not bringing it and they would

646
00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:25,770
have come and like just start cooking
like you know like okay eat this don't

647
00:30:25,770 --> 00:30:28,649
you worry about that like if i'm like
you know something like that would have

648
00:30:28,649 --> 00:30:32,980
happened you know so But the fact that
there's no fire, like in the morning

649
00:30:32,980 --> 00:30:34,520
in that house, you don't light a fire.

650
00:30:34,650 --> 00:30:38,200
Like when you start thinking, make
your walls bare, but it was just, we

651
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,299
did that just in the lounge room where
the body would be at the time of the

652
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:44,389
funeral and prayers and all that.

653
00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:48,550
So a priest will be there at the time
of the funeral and do all the prayers.

654
00:31:10,399 --> 00:31:10,659
Yeah.

655
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,110
So it'd be in the house.

656
00:31:14,270 --> 00:31:16,420
People do it in their
house, in their own house.

657
00:31:16,550 --> 00:31:18,860
And there'll be a priest that
will come like in, in our culture,

658
00:31:18,860 --> 00:31:23,329
it's called a Swami who, um, who
specializes in like funerals.

659
00:31:24,165 --> 00:31:28,815
Because it's different kinds of prayers
like, you know, from a wedding, you know,

660
00:31:28,815 --> 00:31:31,775
it's a different prayer compared to like
a funeral, it's completely different.

661
00:31:32,315 --> 00:31:37,304
So you're praying for the soul, you know,
there's this word that's called Moksha.

662
00:31:37,435 --> 00:31:39,065
I don't know if you've heard of that word.

663
00:31:39,904 --> 00:31:44,585
Moksha is about, you know,
it's like liberation.

664
00:31:44,604 --> 00:31:45,585
So like release.

665
00:31:46,770 --> 00:31:47,210
birth.

666
00:31:47,220 --> 00:31:51,330
So like, you know, cause we believe
like in Hinduism, we believe

667
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:53,480
like my Tamil culture, Tamil.

668
00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:59,570
So you rebirth every time, you
know, like until you attain Moksha.

669
00:31:59,830 --> 00:32:04,150
So that we don't, you know, that you've
liberated your soul, like, you know, you

670
00:32:04,150 --> 00:32:06,040
release a cycle of rebirth basically.

671
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:06,890
So.

672
00:32:07,710 --> 00:32:14,440
A lot of these prayers, you know, and
Shiva, like, he looks after souls, you

673
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,950
know, that's why you pray him a lot
during that time someone's passing,

674
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,399
because you pray to Shiva to take care
of that soul, you know, and to help if

675
00:32:23,439 --> 00:32:28,100
that soul hasn't attained moksha, you
help onto like, you know, their, their

676
00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:32,720
reincarnation, like, you know, so we
pray that a lot during that time, and

677
00:32:32,860 --> 00:32:37,120
that goes for a good year, So after the
funeral, I'm pretty sure two, three days

678
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,680
after, like you do like a big prayer.

679
00:32:39,450 --> 00:32:45,720
I remember we had all the meals that
my dad loved, everything he loved.

680
00:32:46,059 --> 00:32:48,900
It's like an offering, you
know, you have that there.

681
00:32:49,430 --> 00:32:52,535
They do what we call Pindam.

682
00:32:53,095 --> 00:32:56,765
That's the Tamil word for it,
which is a rice ball offering.

683
00:32:56,765 --> 00:33:00,964
So like they make rice balls because
it's like, it helps, it's, it

684
00:33:00,964 --> 00:33:03,934
represents like you're feeding the
soul with like rice balls and like

685
00:33:03,935 --> 00:33:06,024
to help them to move on the journey.

686
00:33:06,634 --> 00:33:11,634
And I remember one of the prayer,
other prayer, the priest is asking

687
00:33:11,985 --> 00:33:16,015
the name of like, you know, my
dad's parents and grandparents.

688
00:33:16,015 --> 00:33:18,085
Cause like, you know, that offering
goes to them as well, cause

689
00:33:18,085 --> 00:33:21,995
they were the ancestors and he
wouldn't be here if not for them.

690
00:33:22,025 --> 00:33:23,005
So you offering.

691
00:33:23,450 --> 00:33:25,390
You know, for them as well.

692
00:33:25,950 --> 00:33:30,250
So these rituals in my culture is
basically a lot to do with like cleansing

693
00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:34,969
the soul because it's less technically
like they left the physical world now, you

694
00:33:34,969 --> 00:33:38,640
know, so you hop for their reincarnation.

695
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,480
You help with like, where
they're going to be rebirth.

696
00:33:42,529 --> 00:33:44,880
And it's a lot to do with karma as well.

697
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:45,750
Believe a lot of that.

698
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:48,390
Like, you know, you believe
you want a good person.

699
00:33:48,965 --> 00:33:50,735
You're not going to have a good rebirth.

700
00:33:50,745 --> 00:33:53,945
So the thing like, and if you've done
good deeds, you know, your next birth

701
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:56,015
will be like better than this life.

702
00:33:56,045 --> 00:33:57,545
You, the previous life that they had.

703
00:33:57,985 --> 00:34:01,305
So you kind of like, you pray for the
ghost to make it easy for them to move on.

704
00:34:01,945 --> 00:34:05,054
And like I said, there's like
monthly prayers that happens,

705
00:34:05,054 --> 00:34:05,975
like, you know, offerings.

706
00:34:05,975 --> 00:34:09,854
And I'm like every month on a
certain lunar calendar, I would

707
00:34:09,854 --> 00:34:14,235
look, my mom, my sister used to go
to the temple and make a prayer.

708
00:34:14,235 --> 00:34:17,575
And during that time, like it's
believed every offering you do is

709
00:34:17,575 --> 00:34:19,445
for the God, but also for the soul.

710
00:34:19,770 --> 00:34:22,140
You know, like they're going to
have food to eat, they're going to

711
00:34:22,140 --> 00:34:26,430
have water to drink, like during
that time until like it's one year.

712
00:34:26,770 --> 00:34:31,130
And if you do this big prayer, and I
remember I was pregnant at the time.

713
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:35,839
And I remember like it was a video
call and I was having the biggest

714
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,969
craving for chips at the time.

715
00:34:37,969 --> 00:34:39,590
And I'm like, Oh my goodness.

716
00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:41,500
And, you know, during my
pregnancy, how sick I get.

717
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:46,600
And I remember watching and I'm like,
So right now I'm like this craving like

718
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:52,260
come at a later time like And oh my
goodness, I remember that quite that

719
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:59,250
memory of it But we truly believe it
takes a year for a soul to move on so

720
00:35:00,065 --> 00:35:03,645
Think of it like a bridge, one end to
the, you know, one end to the other.

721
00:35:03,695 --> 00:35:08,105
So when they start on this side, they
remember everything of their life, you

722
00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:12,275
know, they remember who they used to be,
everything, their family and all that.

723
00:35:12,275 --> 00:35:16,955
And as they move on to that bridge,
towards the other end of it, they're

724
00:35:16,955 --> 00:35:19,224
letting go and forgetting their past life.

725
00:35:21,735 --> 00:35:25,305
I remember like, I don't know, people will
probably think of me like, you know, I'm

726
00:35:25,305 --> 00:35:29,625
crazy or something, but like, I remember
dreaming of my dad a lot during that

727
00:35:29,665 --> 00:35:35,185
time, like a lot, that one year after he
passed away, like a lot of like dreams, a

728
00:35:35,185 --> 00:35:39,434
lot of things, and I said I was pregnant
at the time, and I was so sick, and in

729
00:35:39,435 --> 00:35:44,315
that time, um, my husband had to go away,
Ben had to go away for work, and I was

730
00:35:44,315 --> 00:35:47,620
like, I suffer for both my pregnancies.

731
00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:52,520
I suffered really badly of hyperemesis
and I was still caring at the time for

732
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,330
like my daughter who was three at the time
and her not understanding that, you know,

733
00:35:56,330 --> 00:35:57,680
mommy's sickness duress and all that.

734
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,970
And I remember thinking of my dad so
much during that time and it's funny.

735
00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:05,680
Like, I don't know, like it was in my
head and I feel better like, you know,

736
00:36:05,990 --> 00:36:10,705
and I dream of him saying like, yeah,
you're all good, you know, and things

737
00:36:10,705 --> 00:36:15,665
are like a lot of different, you know,
dreams for me during that one year.

738
00:36:16,255 --> 00:36:21,495
And again, like when he was almost one
year, I had a dream and I will always

739
00:36:21,495 --> 00:36:27,415
remember this dream of him telling me, and
he was in that attire that he wore at the

740
00:36:27,415 --> 00:36:32,165
funeral attire and he was saying goodbye,
like, hey, and he was packing a suitcase.

741
00:36:32,325 --> 00:36:36,285
He's like, yeah, I'm going
away now, you know, and.

742
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:42,060
It's funny, like if I dream of him
now, like, you know, my dream sequence

743
00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:46,640
of him, I've always dreamt of him as
this like 45 year old young guy, you

744
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:51,349
know, like I wouldn't see his face
as clearly now anymore, but over the

745
00:36:51,350 --> 00:36:55,010
one year, like it was like having a
face to face conversation with him.

746
00:36:56,620 --> 00:36:57,130
Yeah.

747
00:36:57,130 --> 00:36:59,850
But like I say, like,
he's one year with us.

748
00:37:00,630 --> 00:37:02,140
That's why I believe
he's one year with us.

749
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,080
He's finished, you
know, he's moved on now.

750
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,700
Like, you know, even though I know they
say like, no, it's all still around.

751
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:11,870
I around, but like, actually,
that was my experience with that.

752
00:37:11,969 --> 00:37:15,879
What we talk about, like one year
of having this all around you.

753
00:37:16,539 --> 00:37:17,475
That was my thing.

754
00:37:17,475 --> 00:37:20,500
And like, I felt him a
lot during that time.

755
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:24,900
Like he passed away in the month of
August and it was around that time I

756
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:29,240
got one year finished and I started
getting quite sick with my pregnancy

757
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:34,270
around August, like, you know, the one
year on, so it's very like, you know, I

758
00:37:34,300 --> 00:37:38,189
truly believe in that, if it takes my,
like what my culture, at first you're

759
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:42,260
biased, you're like, yeah, nah, you know,
and after you really leave it, you're

760
00:37:42,289 --> 00:37:44,380
like, wow, that actually happened to me.

761
00:37:54,809 --> 00:37:55,679
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

762
00:38:03,665 --> 00:38:04,785
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

763
00:38:05,315 --> 00:38:06,675
Yeah, I know.

764
00:38:06,845 --> 00:38:07,165
I know.

765
00:38:07,495 --> 00:38:11,175
So like, so the grieving
process, like I said, it starts,

766
00:38:11,175 --> 00:38:13,225
you're like, Oh God, he's gone.

767
00:38:13,575 --> 00:38:17,285
Especially like around festivals,
you feel like a lot more and

768
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:18,444
birthdays and things like that.

769
00:38:18,445 --> 00:38:22,045
We were always big in the family
celebrating birthdays and you know,

770
00:38:22,045 --> 00:38:25,865
he'd be the first one to go buy
someone new clothes and you know, he'll

771
00:38:25,865 --> 00:38:27,195
get the cake and things like that.

772
00:38:27,195 --> 00:38:31,735
But we look, we celebrate Diwali.

773
00:38:32,355 --> 00:38:33,295
Yeah, the festival life.

774
00:38:33,325 --> 00:38:36,585
So I told you he passed away in
August and Diwali was the next big

775
00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:37,695
thing we're going to celebrate.

776
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:39,935
And for the one year
you're a morning, right?

777
00:38:39,975 --> 00:38:44,495
So you don't do festivals like Diwali and
like the tunnel new year and all that.

778
00:38:44,515 --> 00:38:46,225
We didn't, you know, you
don't celebrate any of that.

779
00:38:46,795 --> 00:38:47,125
So.

780
00:38:47,735 --> 00:38:52,155
It's like you grieve every time
there's an occasion, you know, cause

781
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:53,285
you know the person's not there.

782
00:38:53,725 --> 00:38:56,275
Look, we all, you know, you're busy in
your everyday life, you know, you tend

783
00:38:56,275 --> 00:38:58,884
to like, okay, we'll do this, you go
to work, you know, you come home, cook

784
00:38:58,894 --> 00:39:02,884
dinner, you know, you redo it the next
day again, and then a festival will

785
00:39:02,884 --> 00:39:07,064
happen and you're like, you would have
called this person that day to say, hey,

786
00:39:07,075 --> 00:39:11,045
happy Diwali, you know, and his birthday,
he was going to turn 70 in October.

787
00:39:11,595 --> 00:39:15,315
And so like a milestone birthday
as well, you're like, Oh, he

788
00:39:15,315 --> 00:39:16,705
would have been 75 this year.

789
00:39:17,575 --> 00:39:20,365
You know, like things are that you
remember, that's your grieving.

790
00:39:20,365 --> 00:39:25,405
So grieving never really goes
because every time there's a,

791
00:39:25,414 --> 00:39:29,124
you know, an occasion or like,
Oh God, I did this amazing thing.

792
00:39:29,125 --> 00:39:31,605
I got this promotion, you know,
like you would have called this

793
00:39:31,615 --> 00:39:32,655
person, but they're not there.

794
00:39:33,335 --> 00:39:35,815
But like when you mentioned like,
you know, the physical and spiritual

795
00:39:35,835 --> 00:39:38,455
thing, you kind of like physically.

796
00:39:38,945 --> 00:39:40,715
Like I said, you're not
calling this person anymore.

797
00:39:40,725 --> 00:39:42,905
So like, it's a grief process.

798
00:39:43,395 --> 00:39:46,164
But I guess spiritually, like, you
know, they've rebirthed somewhere.

799
00:39:46,165 --> 00:39:50,535
You can just hope in like, I hope you're
like, somewhere better than what your life

800
00:39:50,535 --> 00:39:54,254
was, you know, like you're born healthy,
you know, and all things like that.

801
00:39:54,255 --> 00:39:58,275
So, spiritual part, I think it's a
little bit easier than the physical part.

802
00:39:58,275 --> 00:40:01,505
The spiritual, you're like, okay,
even if you attained Moksha, like we

803
00:40:01,505 --> 00:40:05,515
said, you're Lord Shiva now, you know,
your earth sufferings and pain, it's

804
00:40:05,515 --> 00:40:07,145
all gone and you're happy, you know.

805
00:40:07,675 --> 00:40:09,885
And we believe you're there with
your mom now, like, you know,

806
00:40:09,895 --> 00:40:13,775
he's, you know, dad, you know, your
sisters has passed away, you know.

807
00:40:21,170 --> 00:40:21,740
Exactly.

808
00:40:21,770 --> 00:40:24,540
Like, you know, and you're with
God, like, you know, Lord Shiva.

809
00:40:24,580 --> 00:40:27,030
So like, either way, you know,
suffering, that suffering that

810
00:40:27,030 --> 00:40:29,090
you had here, it's finished now.

811
00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:30,570
You're not in pain.

812
00:40:30,570 --> 00:40:32,629
You're not having to take
medications every day.

813
00:40:32,940 --> 00:40:33,604
You know, you're happy.

814
00:40:33,604 --> 00:40:35,070
You're not in pain, basically.

815
00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:35,500
So

816
00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:38,869
CATHERINE: how do you think that, and I
suppose it probably might be a difficult

817
00:40:38,870 --> 00:40:43,410
question to ask because it's all that
you've ever known, but how do you feel

818
00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:50,155
your belief and the fact that there
is these the ability to obtain Moksha.

819
00:40:50,515 --> 00:40:53,795
How does that sort of
impact on your grief?

820
00:40:53,865 --> 00:40:58,305
Is it, I suppose, lessened by the
fact that you knowing each time?

821
00:40:58,364 --> 00:40:58,684
NYANA: Yeah.

822
00:40:59,305 --> 00:40:59,465
Does

823
00:40:59,465 --> 00:41:00,704
CATHERINE: it make sense
what I'm sort of saying?

824
00:41:00,705 --> 00:41:00,997
It makes

825
00:41:00,997 --> 00:41:01,288
NYANA: sense, yeah.

826
00:41:01,288 --> 00:41:05,074
That's what I'm saying, like, it's, it
kind of like, it lessens the grief a

827
00:41:05,075 --> 00:41:09,695
little bit because you're like, You've
attained that emotional life, or you're

828
00:41:09,695 --> 00:41:12,865
liberated, like, you know, you don't have
to rebirth, you don't have to go through

829
00:41:13,355 --> 00:41:17,705
life again, life's pain, like, you know,
because life has all its ups and downs.

830
00:41:17,775 --> 00:41:21,975
In a way, you're like, even though you
don't know where, like, if he's reborn,

831
00:41:21,994 --> 00:41:25,574
like, you can only wish, like, you know,
his life will just be, there's only ups.

832
00:41:25,805 --> 00:41:28,185
But like I said, if he's attained
Moksha, it's kind of like, he doesn't

833
00:41:28,215 --> 00:41:29,165
have to go through that again.

834
00:41:29,365 --> 00:41:31,885
So it kind of like lessened
the grief a little bit.

835
00:41:32,055 --> 00:41:35,025
And that's why we like to think like,
you know, that's what we do all this

836
00:41:35,045 --> 00:41:39,184
prayer is to make, hopefully he's
attained that and hopefully like, you

837
00:41:39,184 --> 00:41:43,165
know, or if he's reversed somewhere,
hopefully there's been a smooth journey

838
00:41:43,165 --> 00:41:47,174
and the journey will be a lot better
than what he's had in the previous life.

839
00:41:47,175 --> 00:41:50,995
You can only wish like every life
someone's had is better than the past one.

840
00:41:51,695 --> 00:41:52,305
CATHERINE: Yeah.

841
00:41:52,375 --> 00:41:52,765
Yeah.

842
00:41:52,825 --> 00:41:56,955
And have you heard stories or have
you experienced personally whereby

843
00:41:57,375 --> 00:42:02,904
people have come across perhaps
someone they believe may be the soul

844
00:42:03,005 --> 00:42:04,865
of someone they've previously met?

845
00:42:05,455 --> 00:42:08,905
NYANA: Yeah, in a way, like, you
get that, you know, feeling that

846
00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:11,825
they've sent someone to you, you know?

847
00:42:11,995 --> 00:42:12,355
Yeah.

848
00:42:12,785 --> 00:42:16,925
Yeah, like, you know, my youngest was
sent to me specially, handpicked, you

849
00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:19,245
know, cause my dad never got to meet him.

850
00:42:19,375 --> 00:42:22,085
My dad passed away in August and
my youngest was born in March.

851
00:42:22,595 --> 00:42:27,234
So I'm like, Oh yeah, you got to meet
him first before, you know, you guys

852
00:42:27,235 --> 00:42:29,934
got to meet each other first before,
like, you know, I got to meet him.

853
00:42:30,084 --> 00:42:32,275
Just like think of little
things like that in your life.

854
00:42:33,070 --> 00:42:35,800
You know, your special little
boy, cause like, your granddad

855
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,570
handpicked you to send us here.

856
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:40,860
And it is a connection
really, like, you have.

857
00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:43,649
Not that I have different connections
with my kids, like, it's just like a,

858
00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:48,200
just knowing that, you know, he didn't
get to meet a grandfather, a grandparent.

859
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,980
But, I like to think like, my
dad got to see him first and

860
00:42:51,980 --> 00:42:53,380
know him first, like, you know.

861
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:55,110
He's being sent to me.

862
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:58,280
CATHERINE: And you mentioned that
it was based on the lunar cycles

863
00:42:58,280 --> 00:42:59,780
that you do certain things as well.

864
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,630
Can you talk me through a little
bit about how the lunar cycle

865
00:43:02,670 --> 00:43:04,809
connects in with your belief system?

866
00:43:05,069 --> 00:43:05,149
NYANA: Yeah.

867
00:43:05,399 --> 00:43:08,739
So we believe a lot in like horoscopes
and things like that, like, you know,

868
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,379
lunar positions and things like that.

869
00:43:10,379 --> 00:43:15,060
Like even when a child is born
based on like the time and the

870
00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:16,590
day and the position, you know.

871
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:21,290
Moon, and things like that, like what
their name, their name will start with.

872
00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:26,460
So for me personally, I'd like, you
know, my family, we all followed that.

873
00:43:26,930 --> 00:43:30,180
I follow that with my kids as well, you
know, like what their horoscope based

874
00:43:30,180 --> 00:43:32,880
on the time and the day they were born,
what their name should start with.

875
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:33,190
And

876
00:43:33,190 --> 00:43:35,000
CATHERINE: is that the
letter it should start with?

877
00:43:35,399 --> 00:43:35,429
Yes.

878
00:43:35,909 --> 00:43:36,890
NYANA: Either the letter or the sound.

879
00:43:37,730 --> 00:43:41,690
So both my kids have that with their
middle names because I'm like, that's

880
00:43:41,690 --> 00:43:43,340
their connection with my culture.

881
00:43:43,915 --> 00:43:45,125
You know, you're going to have this name.

882
00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:47,505
This is the name that, you know, my
mommy's culture, like, you know, we

883
00:43:47,505 --> 00:43:49,025
believe in this and this is your middle

884
00:43:49,025 --> 00:43:49,365
CATHERINE: name.

885
00:43:49,605 --> 00:43:51,295
And can you talk me
through the naming process?

886
00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:53,515
Like how that is derived?

887
00:43:53,784 --> 00:43:57,095
Like, is there a guide that
you follow or how does it work?

888
00:43:57,095 --> 00:43:59,845
NYANA: So that's where, like, you
will talk to a priest, a Swami,

889
00:43:59,864 --> 00:44:02,905
and they will do based on like,
they've got like a horoscope.

890
00:44:04,485 --> 00:44:08,275
And all the names are coming to me
right now, like what is called, but

891
00:44:08,275 --> 00:44:11,125
they've got like a book that they
just like match it like almost like

892
00:44:11,125 --> 00:44:15,695
a little math calculation and what,
what letter matches at that time.

893
00:44:16,605 --> 00:44:19,984
So it's very important to have like
an exact day, exact time of like when

894
00:44:19,985 --> 00:44:24,225
the kid's born, but ending in the
same will go for prayers as well.

895
00:44:24,725 --> 00:44:26,368
Like it's like auspicious times, you

896
00:44:26,368 --> 00:44:27,539
CATHERINE: know, there's such a

897
00:44:27,539 --> 00:44:29,595
NYANA: thing that it's,
it's not a good time.

898
00:44:29,595 --> 00:44:30,755
And it's like an auspicious time.

899
00:44:30,795 --> 00:44:32,815
So like when there was this monthly.

900
00:44:33,115 --> 00:44:36,125
Prayers that had to be done, the
priest would tell my mom, okay,

901
00:44:36,125 --> 00:44:39,765
you got to go either like in the
27th, you go on that day to do that

902
00:44:39,765 --> 00:44:42,905
prayer, you go before midday, you
know, so they were used to that.

903
00:44:42,905 --> 00:44:45,555
So every month there was a
certain day that they had to go.

904
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,660
Offerings.

905
00:44:47,660 --> 00:44:52,230
So I said, we deliver even weddings,
like, you know, when you get wedding

906
00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:57,250
based on two people's horoscopes as well,
which is what Ben and I had in Mauritius

907
00:44:57,290 --> 00:45:03,010
when we were there, like we had, and
that was a very lovely 4am, 5am wedding

908
00:45:03,020 --> 00:45:04,580
because that was the time we had to be.

909
00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:07,560
So yeah, that's right.

910
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:12,300
You had the very organized chaos,
he still remembers and look, things

911
00:45:12,300 --> 00:45:13,560
like, you know, Pharaoh's wedding.

912
00:45:13,990 --> 00:45:16,430
It's always an organized
chaos with everything, so.

913
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:21,859
CATHERINE: If you can take me back to the
offerings that you were mentioned with the

914
00:45:21,859 --> 00:45:25,040
little rice balls with your father's body.

915
00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:30,469
After the funeral, how is the funeral
concluded at the home for your father?

916
00:45:30,990 --> 00:45:33,610
NYANA: On the day of the funeral,
it's all about blessing the body,

917
00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:38,670
blessing the soul to do prayers and
to basically, like I said, my mom

918
00:45:38,670 --> 00:45:40,220
had to take what we call a tally.

919
00:45:40,975 --> 00:45:45,225
The married women in my culture in
Tamil, they wear those prayers about

920
00:45:45,245 --> 00:45:46,915
that because now she's a widow.

921
00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,435
So you have to like pretty much
and the marriage is finished now.

922
00:45:50,095 --> 00:45:53,775
So I think that the physical
marriage of them both is finished.

923
00:45:53,775 --> 00:45:57,315
So like you had to take that off for
her and like, you know, everything she

924
00:45:57,315 --> 00:45:59,075
wears a married woman, even colors.

925
00:45:59,095 --> 00:46:02,195
Now she's like, you know, they say you
don't have to wear like bright colors,

926
00:46:02,395 --> 00:46:03,895
you know, like reds and things like that.

927
00:46:03,915 --> 00:46:04,655
You don't wear it.

928
00:46:04,655 --> 00:46:05,705
So the process then.

929
00:46:06,355 --> 00:46:10,155
Like the rice ball comes afterwards,
like the prayers leading on,

930
00:46:10,165 --> 00:46:11,645
the days leading on after.

931
00:46:12,295 --> 00:46:16,005
So this prayer is about the body leaving
the house, saying goodbye to that house

932
00:46:16,005 --> 00:46:18,765
now, like, you know, he was born in
there, like, you know, you're leaving

933
00:46:19,295 --> 00:46:24,165
that house, and then they go, and in my
culture, like, you know, we do cremation.

934
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,740
You can do both burials and cremation.

935
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,030
My dad always said that
he wanted to be cremated.

936
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,840
So then the cremation process happened.

937
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:36,130
And that one only, it's one thing
I like, one thing I don't quite

938
00:46:36,170 --> 00:46:38,180
like with this, only boys do it.

939
00:46:38,350 --> 00:46:42,010
So it's either like the eldest
son or the eldest male relative.

940
00:46:42,230 --> 00:46:44,300
So in my family, we're three girls.

941
00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:48,119
So my brother in law did it all
as like, you know, the, like.

942
00:46:48,430 --> 00:46:53,525
Taking the role of a son, so they have
to shave their head as well, like, you

943
00:46:53,525 --> 00:46:58,400
know, you have to shave his head, you
cut your hair for the male, for the boys.

944
00:46:58,450 --> 00:47:02,440
So they, then they go to the
cemetery and do more prayers there.

945
00:47:03,380 --> 00:47:06,659
And the son, he's the one, like
in the eldest male relative of

946
00:47:06,660 --> 00:47:10,510
the son, he's the one who has
to light the pyre, as they say.

947
00:47:11,030 --> 00:47:13,254
And that's where, then he concludes it.

948
00:47:13,695 --> 00:47:18,825
And as he do it as well, like he, like I
said, I wasn't there when that happens.

949
00:47:18,855 --> 00:47:23,335
My nephew was saying like, when you do
it, the moment you liked it, you walk

950
00:47:23,335 --> 00:47:27,625
out, you don't look back and all the
male relatives of the ones who go there.

951
00:47:28,075 --> 00:47:29,555
And they're the only ones who do it.

952
00:47:29,565 --> 00:47:30,385
It's a cultural thing.

953
00:47:30,385 --> 00:47:32,455
Like, you know, women didn't
do it back in the day.

954
00:47:32,455 --> 00:47:37,634
So it's like, how do I say, I think in a
way, it's like passing the responsibility

955
00:47:37,634 --> 00:47:39,944
to the next male in the family.

956
00:47:39,944 --> 00:47:43,904
Like, you know, I think in
a way the cultural part of

957
00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:45,285
it, like I'm sure it's okay.

958
00:47:45,425 --> 00:47:48,805
Like us girls weren't there, like
there wouldn't be anything would

959
00:47:48,805 --> 00:47:51,695
happen, but it's just more like
what culture they used to do.

960
00:47:51,705 --> 00:47:52,245
Like, you know.

961
00:47:52,670 --> 00:47:55,780
Things move from male relative
to male relative to male

962
00:47:55,780 --> 00:47:57,340
relative, you know, that, that.

963
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:57,830
CATHERINE: And is it

964
00:47:57,870 --> 00:47:59,830
the same,  Nyana, like when

965
00:47:59,860 --> 00:48:02,990
CATHERINE: your mum dies, you
can't do that either, can you?

966
00:48:03,090 --> 00:48:03,640
No, no, no.

967
00:48:03,810 --> 00:48:07,429
So it really is just a male
thing, regardless of whether

968
00:48:07,519 --> 00:48:08,750
it's the female or male?

969
00:48:08,789 --> 00:48:09,019
Yeah.

970
00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:10,759
Matriarch or patriarch dies, okay.

971
00:48:11,150 --> 00:48:11,240
Yeah.

972
00:48:12,020 --> 00:48:19,679
And tell me the role with horoscopes
and then there's also that spiritual

973
00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,780
aspect as well too, isn't it?

974
00:48:21,810 --> 00:48:28,429
So have you experienced or talked to
any mediums or anything along that line?

975
00:48:28,850 --> 00:48:30,190
How does that play in?

976
00:48:30,529 --> 00:48:33,509
That seems to kind of sit
sort of naturally with that.

977
00:48:33,509 --> 00:48:36,440
So could you talk me through your
experience of that, if you don't mind?

978
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,770
NYANA: Not at all, so like I
was telling you about my little

979
00:48:38,900 --> 00:48:40,230
encounter with the medium.

980
00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:44,380
Cause look for me, it was very important
to me, like in a way, like I didn't

981
00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:47,250
have closure, like, you know, when
my dad died, I didn't cry either.

982
00:48:47,250 --> 00:48:49,550
Like for me, it was surreal.

983
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:53,080
Like, I think I cried when I felt
like I learned the news of it.

984
00:48:53,315 --> 00:48:56,195
But then I think I didn't try
for like a couple of days.

985
00:48:56,195 --> 00:48:59,095
I didn't like, it was
just like a numb feeling.

986
00:48:59,195 --> 00:49:02,545
And how do I say like,
also a bit of happiness.

987
00:49:03,465 --> 00:49:07,415
Happiness in the sense that like,
I saw how much she was suffering

988
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:10,364
from like just video calls and
photos that I was sending her.

989
00:49:10,894 --> 00:49:13,034
I saw how much she wasn't.

990
00:49:13,890 --> 00:49:14,550
Him anymore.

991
00:49:15,060 --> 00:49:17,750
So for me, what's happening
is like, he's not suffering.

992
00:49:17,750 --> 00:49:19,550
Now that's over, you know, that's done.

993
00:49:19,550 --> 00:49:23,090
He's like, you know, there's not six,
you know, needles everywhere with him,

994
00:49:23,090 --> 00:49:30,020
or tubes like, you know, so I, when I
was about five or six weeks pregnant,

995
00:49:30,020 --> 00:49:35,600
I was like, I wanna just to see It was
more cure one, curiosity two, a bit of.

996
00:49:35,970 --> 00:49:42,710
Closure, like, to see what she had to
say, and I wanted to get it done before

997
00:49:42,710 --> 00:49:45,170
that one year was over, you know?

998
00:49:45,479 --> 00:49:48,309
CATHERINE: So this was, this was
your second pregnancy, so your

999
00:49:48,309 --> 00:49:52,909
father had already died, so it was
before his, his one year anniversary.

1000
00:49:52,909 --> 00:49:53,640
The one year

1001
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:57,160
NYANA: that, yes, yeah, and it's
funny, like, first thing she said to

1002
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:04,075
me, her name is Robyn, and she is,
ah, look, I'm someone who I feel,

1003
00:50:04,855 --> 00:50:08,645
first impression, I get connected with
someone very, like, straight away.

1004
00:50:08,645 --> 00:50:16,835
And I, like, just to talk back a little
bit about how I met Robin from Divine

1005
00:50:16,835 --> 00:50:20,674
Connections, who is an amazing lady,
like, I talk to her, like, to this

1006
00:50:20,675 --> 00:50:25,235
day, we message each other, like, she
just popped up on my Instagram, and I

1007
00:50:25,235 --> 00:50:27,290
was like You know how algorithm works.

1008
00:50:27,290 --> 00:50:28,720
I'm like, why?

1009
00:50:29,410 --> 00:50:33,890
And I always think back and I'm like,
well, it was my dad sending her to me.

1010
00:50:33,890 --> 00:50:37,439
And like, I just saw her face and
he's, you know, someone you just

1011
00:50:37,439 --> 00:50:39,360
see someone's face and straight
away you feel comfortable.

1012
00:50:40,035 --> 00:50:43,275
You feel like you can talk to them
about everything and anything really.

1013
00:50:43,845 --> 00:50:47,845
So I had that with her and I always
joke with her, I'm like, we must have

1014
00:50:47,845 --> 00:50:49,405
been related now we're past life.

1015
00:50:49,415 --> 00:50:52,615
I always joke with her like, you
know, the way how I feel, like

1016
00:50:52,644 --> 00:50:55,935
things she said and straight away
with her, she's like, I see a baby.

1017
00:50:56,815 --> 00:51:01,095
And I did someone just had a baby
or anything and I'm like, well,

1018
00:51:01,175 --> 00:51:04,085
I'm five weeks pregnant or six
weeks pregnant I was at the time.

1019
00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:06,455
It's like, I can see a
little boy running around.

1020
00:51:07,144 --> 00:51:11,065
And other time when she said that to
me, I thought she meant my nephew who

1021
00:51:11,354 --> 00:51:12,874
as well didn't get to meet my dad.

1022
00:51:12,875 --> 00:51:14,614
My sister's in Perth, her son.

1023
00:51:14,834 --> 00:51:15,775
I thought of him straight.

1024
00:51:15,785 --> 00:51:16,665
I'm like, Oh, it must be him.

1025
00:51:16,665 --> 00:51:18,805
She's talking about, but what did I know?

1026
00:51:18,935 --> 00:51:20,785
Like she was saying I
was going to have a boy.

1027
00:51:21,345 --> 00:51:22,115
Running around.

1028
00:51:22,115 --> 00:51:22,215
Running around.

1029
00:51:22,215 --> 00:51:24,075
And if you know my son
now, he's, you know,

1030
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,395
,
CATHERINE: it's very
appropriately, uh, describing him.

1031
00:51:28,395 --> 00:51:28,485
Yes.

1032
00:51:28,485 --> 00:51:29,250
He's very little

1033
00:51:29,270 --> 00:51:29,490
NYANA: boy.

1034
00:51:29,550 --> 00:51:33,765
Little, you know, like, she's
like, I see a girl, daughter.

1035
00:51:33,765 --> 00:51:34,515
It must be your daughter.

1036
00:51:34,515 --> 00:51:35,685
I see little butterflies.

1037
00:51:35,685 --> 00:51:37,845
He's putting like
butterflies all around her.

1038
00:51:38,445 --> 00:51:41,985
And if you know my daughter now,
like even back then, she's, you know.

1039
00:51:42,485 --> 00:51:46,945
She's a very determined little girl, but
can be like, you know, loves animals.

1040
00:51:46,945 --> 00:51:50,775
And like, we went on a walk this
morning and she was like tip

1041
00:51:50,845 --> 00:51:53,074
top, like, and it rained really
heavily in Canberra last night.

1042
00:51:53,074 --> 00:51:54,885
So there's snails and worms everywhere.

1043
00:51:55,624 --> 00:51:57,775
And they woke up so early.

1044
00:51:57,775 --> 00:52:00,665
I took them for a walk at
like six o'clock, six 30.

1045
00:52:00,675 --> 00:52:03,395
And she was tip toe like on like the park.

1046
00:52:03,405 --> 00:52:05,055
Cause she's like, I don't
want to step on anything.

1047
00:52:05,585 --> 00:52:07,914
I want to step on snails or worms.

1048
00:52:07,995 --> 00:52:11,674
And she will hold a worm in her hand
while I'm like squirming, you know, like.

1049
00:52:12,305 --> 00:52:15,785
But she, he did that, like, you know,
straight away, he's, you know, the

1050
00:52:15,805 --> 00:52:20,335
image he was projecting to her was
like, she's that kind of person, that

1051
00:52:20,335 --> 00:52:23,305
little girl, like, you know, she can
be up in the air sometimes, but like,

1052
00:52:23,305 --> 00:52:24,895
it was very much her personality.

1053
00:52:25,515 --> 00:52:30,034
So, things she was saying to me,
honestly, like, she doesn't know me,

1054
00:52:30,035 --> 00:52:33,215
this person, you know, Robin doesn't
know me, but things she was saying was

1055
00:52:33,215 --> 00:52:36,595
like, I told her all that beforehand,
and then she was just really Seeing it.

1056
00:52:36,595 --> 00:52:40,035
So for her, I have to send a
photo of him ahead of time.

1057
00:52:40,645 --> 00:52:45,895
She can only do mediumship reading if
someone's passed away more than six weeks.

1058
00:52:46,015 --> 00:52:49,574
And she said, because you
want the soul to settle.

1059
00:52:50,274 --> 00:52:53,765
Cause you know, like just to give
the soul the time, because sometimes

1060
00:52:53,765 --> 00:52:59,325
when someone passes away, then I
settled, you know, and from, she

1061
00:52:59,325 --> 00:53:02,305
was like from photos and projection.

1062
00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:04,945
And she said for her is
projection of images.

1063
00:53:05,355 --> 00:53:10,935
That he was projecting to her and
like I said, it was quite the closure.

1064
00:53:11,065 --> 00:53:14,595
Like, you know, I think she's like,
Oh, I can hear music and I can see

1065
00:53:15,045 --> 00:53:18,684
him with his arms around like a,
you know, two other little lady.

1066
00:53:18,684 --> 00:53:21,485
And I'm like, I'm like, it's
probably my grandma, his mom.

1067
00:53:21,495 --> 00:53:23,524
Like, you know, cause
my grandma, my mom's.

1068
00:53:24,085 --> 00:53:26,355
Mom was very much like
a mom to him as well.

1069
00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:28,445
They had a good relationship.

1070
00:53:29,215 --> 00:53:33,375
And also the one that got to me,
my dad had a brother who passed

1071
00:53:33,375 --> 00:53:36,965
away when he was like eight,
nine, you know, back in the day.

1072
00:53:36,975 --> 00:53:40,834
And he's like, I can see a kid around
him, like hugging him from the back.

1073
00:53:40,855 --> 00:53:45,395
And I was like, Oh my goodness,
it's probably him, you know?

1074
00:53:45,925 --> 00:53:47,755
And she's like, yeah,
there's a little kid.

1075
00:53:47,755 --> 00:53:48,855
That's very shy.

1076
00:53:49,365 --> 00:53:51,915
And your dad's like, you know,
roughing his hair, like, and it's okay.

1077
00:53:51,915 --> 00:53:54,964
Like, you know, it was
like images like this.

1078
00:53:54,965 --> 00:53:58,355
And that's where, like you said,
you know, like the grieving process.

1079
00:53:59,140 --> 00:54:01,730
It was a lot easier after saying
that because he's obviously happy

1080
00:54:01,810 --> 00:54:03,510
because, you know, if he's hearing
it's like, she's like thinking

1081
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,730
music, but happy music I can hear.

1082
00:54:06,230 --> 00:54:07,250
And I'm like, yes.

1083
00:54:07,259 --> 00:54:10,590
So like, it's probably what she's
projecting to say he's happy.

1084
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:15,170
So that was quite an interesting, like, it
was meant to be an hour and I think Robin

1085
00:54:15,180 --> 00:54:17,699
and I probably spoke for like an hour
and a half, two hours, because she was

1086
00:54:17,710 --> 00:54:21,080
quite unwell and Robin had breast cancer.

1087
00:54:22,060 --> 00:54:25,890
And she didn't do any reading for
quite a while, and when she was better

1088
00:54:25,890 --> 00:54:29,620
and she was okay, I was one of her
first, I was her first reading back.

1089
00:54:30,510 --> 00:54:35,310
So, look, it's personal, like, some people
don't believe in mediums and some people

1090
00:54:35,310 --> 00:54:40,659
do, and, like, like I said, the experience
that I've had with her, things she said to

1091
00:54:40,659 --> 00:54:42,845
me, There's definitely a connection there.

1092
00:54:42,845 --> 00:54:45,195
There's definitely something there,
like, out there, you know, in the

1093
00:54:45,195 --> 00:54:49,565
body, like, the soul, like, you know,
trying to communicate with someone.

1094
00:54:49,824 --> 00:54:52,534
And, like I said, it was, it
was an amazing experience.

1095
00:54:53,095 --> 00:54:56,804
And it gave me a little bit of
closure, as well, having that.

1096
00:54:57,114 --> 00:54:59,815
Grieving, it helps, it definitely
helps with the grieving.

1097
00:55:00,740 --> 00:55:03,900
Because for me, it was grieving,
like I was able to take my oldest

1098
00:55:03,930 --> 00:55:06,490
back to Mauritius when she was like,
you know, four months old, six,

1099
00:55:06,610 --> 00:55:09,840
five months old, like, you know, my
family got to meet her and he got to

1100
00:55:09,850 --> 00:55:10,960
meet her and hold her and all that.

1101
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:12,619
But my youngest didn't get that.

1102
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,949
So that's another level of grief as well.

1103
00:55:14,950 --> 00:55:20,140
Like what could have been, you know, what
would have been, which you don't have now.

1104
00:55:20,140 --> 00:55:21,980
So having that little
closure, you're like.

1105
00:55:23,015 --> 00:55:23,255
A bit.

1106
00:55:23,255 --> 00:55:26,285
Hell definitely helps with like
a grieving process a little bit.

1107
00:55:31,325 --> 00:55:31,535
Yeah.

1108
00:55:36,975 --> 00:55:41,255
We recently, that finished three
days ago, like a festival of

1109
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:42,845
the dead we have in my culture.

1110
00:55:43,315 --> 00:55:47,585
We believe there's a certain
time when, look, souls are like

1111
00:55:47,585 --> 00:55:50,274
closer to you on like, you know,
the physical sort of earth.

1112
00:55:50,895 --> 00:55:53,695
And during that time we pour water.

1113
00:55:54,070 --> 00:55:59,470
We do more prayers and all that and
so I think the kids saw me do that

1114
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,690
so like you believe like you're
pouring water for the past family.

1115
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:06,000
Look, I still do prayers if there's
something like especially around like

1116
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:11,565
Diwali is the next thing that's happening
next at the end of the month, start of End

1117
00:56:11,565 --> 00:56:13,325
of October, start of November is Diwali.

1118
00:56:13,835 --> 00:56:16,065
So there will always be a
prayer for them as well.

1119
00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:19,125
A special prayer where
you honor the past family.

1120
00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:21,265
So there'll be like food laid
out for them and all that.

1121
00:56:21,835 --> 00:56:23,254
And Diwali, it's about sweets.

1122
00:56:23,274 --> 00:56:24,425
You make cakes, you know.

1123
00:56:25,024 --> 00:56:26,664
So there's always, you'll be
prayers with this as well.

1124
00:56:26,665 --> 00:56:27,705
So the kids have seen me.

1125
00:56:27,705 --> 00:56:30,659
That's one thing I do
here since having kids.

1126
00:56:30,810 --> 00:56:34,830
Every year, like Diwali, even when
you're in mourning process, you can do

1127
00:56:34,830 --> 00:56:36,440
in a way, you just do it among yourself.

1128
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,300
You go, you don't go because Diwali
is about distributing cakes to your

1129
00:56:39,420 --> 00:56:41,609
neighbours and families and all that.

1130
00:56:41,620 --> 00:56:44,120
So you don't do that when you're in
mourning process, but you can do just

1131
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,029
some on yourself as a family in the house.

1132
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,079
But here in Australia, look, there's
not a lot of that cultural thing.

1133
00:56:49,110 --> 00:56:51,710
I'm sure if I went to my neighbour, I'm
like, it's Diwali, here's some cake.

1134
00:56:51,710 --> 00:56:52,230
He'll take it.

1135
00:56:52,230 --> 00:56:53,910
But like, you know, like.

1136
00:56:54,955 --> 00:56:57,815
My group of friends here of
similar sort of culture, we do it.

1137
00:56:57,815 --> 00:57:00,185
So we'll do Diwali,
probably the week after.

1138
00:57:00,185 --> 00:57:02,995
So everyone will bring a plan and cake
and that's how we'll do the sharing.

1139
00:57:03,825 --> 00:57:10,354
So, like I said, occasions and festivals
like that, you always remember the past.

1140
00:57:11,025 --> 00:57:13,634
Families, it's like, you always
have a chair there for them.

1141
00:57:13,634 --> 00:57:15,725
You always have like a plate
of food there for them.

1142
00:57:15,725 --> 00:57:17,735
You do like a, there's always an offering.

1143
00:57:24,815 --> 00:57:26,395
No, it's longer than that.

1144
00:57:26,685 --> 00:57:28,485
Oh gosh, I think it was
for about two weeks.

1145
00:57:29,355 --> 00:57:30,515
But there's certain days.

1146
00:57:30,745 --> 00:57:34,185
You can pour the water and I always rely
on my sister, the one who is Mauritius to

1147
00:57:34,185 --> 00:57:38,645
tell me, okay, make sure you pour water
today for dad and you know, and you pour

1148
00:57:38,645 --> 00:57:40,905
some water and there'll be a milk as well.

1149
00:57:41,425 --> 00:57:45,245
And like I say, if it was in Mauritius,
we'll do more prayers and all that.

1150
00:57:45,245 --> 00:57:50,155
But here, like, you know, I just
pour some water, like, you know, for

1151
00:57:50,155 --> 00:57:51,705
me, I just use like a pot of plant.

1152
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,060
I'm like, I think of him and I'm like,
the water is going to that for the flower.

1153
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:59,710
I just pour some water in
there in the morning for him,

1154
00:57:59,930 --> 00:58:01,250
just a little glass of water.

1155
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:03,870
So it's just like you're
pouring water for them.

1156
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:06,860
You know, like if you like
it, that's the offering part.

1157
00:58:09,170 --> 00:58:09,940
No,

1158
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:13,640
exactly.

1159
00:58:13,690 --> 00:58:15,290
Yeah, isn't it, Sian?

1160
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,560
I think it is because I said we
didn't do it when it started.

1161
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:28,410
We did it towards the end, especially me
here, like I did it then, and I'm pretty

1162
00:58:28,410 --> 00:58:29,610
sure it has to do something with that.

1163
00:58:29,669 --> 00:58:32,980
Even though it was a festival the
day, it's like You know, the past

1164
00:58:32,980 --> 00:58:34,290
people, like it's like a festival.

1165
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,440
Each day was a different
prayer day sort of thing.

1166
00:58:37,990 --> 00:58:40,490
And the day that I poured the water
from that day on, like my stills,

1167
00:58:40,490 --> 00:58:45,189
like, okay, that day on, like, you
know, do it before it finishes on the

1168
00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:47,459
second issue, you pour some water.

1169
00:58:47,519 --> 00:58:50,140
So like I said, I wish
I knew more about it.

1170
00:58:50,230 --> 00:58:53,709
And, but it's just like, you know,
even her as well, like, you know,

1171
00:58:53,710 --> 00:58:56,500
it's what we've learned from like
grandparents and all that you do

1172
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:58,130
it on certain days, you do that.

1173
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:06,320
Yeah.

1174
00:59:11,580 --> 00:59:12,130
Yeah.

1175
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:20,530
Look, I've been in Australia half my
life, if not a little bit more now.

1176
00:59:20,540 --> 00:59:23,860
So like, you get disconnected with things
that's available there that they do.

1177
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,660
Like you can do it here.

1178
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,379
One, time difference is different.

1179
00:59:29,380 --> 00:59:33,649
Like, you know, so if something has to be
done in the morning, it's like midnight.

1180
00:59:33,649 --> 00:59:34,500
Then I'm like, six o'clock.

1181
00:59:34,500 --> 00:59:35,500
Okay, I'll do it now.

1182
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:36,579
And then I'm like, what do I do?

1183
00:59:36,579 --> 00:59:38,650
So like, you know, my sister
would message me the time before.

1184
00:59:39,090 --> 00:59:40,610
But the important thing is like.

1185
00:59:41,050 --> 00:59:43,600
I do it mainly for my kids
because I'm like, you guys have

1186
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:44,740
to know where you come from.

1187
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,570
You're not going to be
disconnected from that at all.

1188
00:59:47,970 --> 00:59:51,190
Even though I don't do it like,
you know, a hundred percent, even

1189
00:59:51,190 --> 00:59:55,130
if it's 50%, that's 50 percent
that I've passed to you in a way.

1190
00:59:55,150 --> 00:59:56,430
So when if you have kids.

1191
00:59:56,665 --> 00:59:59,505
As well, you'd be like, oh yeah,
grandma used to do this and do

1192
00:59:59,505 --> 01:00:00,785
that, and we have to do it as well.

1193
01:00:00,985 --> 01:00:03,795
Same like language, French, like,
you know, they have to learn this,

1194
01:00:03,825 --> 01:00:07,684
because I'm like, one, it's where,
you know, mummies learn this, you

1195
01:00:07,684 --> 01:00:11,425
know, like it's, we speak French in
Mauritius, girl, it's a plus to know.

1196
01:00:12,245 --> 01:00:14,514
But like for me, culturally,
you have to know this.

1197
01:00:14,515 --> 01:00:17,005
So like Diwali, like I said, other
friends here that I've met through

1198
01:00:17,005 --> 01:00:21,984
my mom's group with my youngest one,
again, someone from India, you know,

1199
01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,675
different sort of cultures as well.

1200
01:00:24,105 --> 01:00:26,154
So they try and do it here.

1201
01:00:26,154 --> 01:00:29,675
So because they don't have family as well
here, like right in the Canberra here.

1202
01:00:30,334 --> 01:00:33,415
So we do it together because they as
well want to bring that culture for their

1203
01:00:33,415 --> 01:00:37,615
children, because, you know, it's what it
was back home growing up is what we have.

1204
01:00:38,655 --> 01:00:40,915
So it's very important
in a way, like, you know.

1205
01:00:42,155 --> 01:00:45,055
You have to learn these things, where
you're from, you shouldn't cut it out,

1206
01:00:45,125 --> 01:00:47,745
you know, you pass on as much as possible.

1207
01:00:54,375 --> 01:00:54,795
Yeah.

1208
01:01:00,265 --> 01:01:01,345
Yeah, exactly.

1209
01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:03,195
Absolutely.

1210
01:01:03,205 --> 01:01:07,185
And like recently Canberra had this,
and you know, but I've told you about

1211
01:01:07,355 --> 01:01:12,495
this art exhibition for like, they
wanted immigrants to participate in.

1212
01:01:13,064 --> 01:01:15,575
And I saw this, I'm like, yeah, I
have to do something like, you know,

1213
01:01:15,735 --> 01:01:20,145
so for me, again, a cultural thing,
I'm like, the kids have to know.

1214
01:01:20,345 --> 01:01:23,054
So I did it at paint as well.

1215
01:01:24,850 --> 01:01:29,790
I, oh God, I hope so.

1216
01:01:31,150 --> 01:01:35,620
So for me, so Mauritius
do what we call a sega.

1217
01:01:36,419 --> 01:01:39,570
Any Mauritian you'd ask what's sega,
everyone would know what sega is.

1218
01:01:39,580 --> 01:01:42,499
So it's like a dance stuff, Mauritians,
you know, we all know about it's

1219
01:01:42,499 --> 01:01:44,759
like a folklore sort of thing.

1220
01:01:45,740 --> 01:01:50,720
So for me, my painting, I wanted to
bring that and what the exhibition

1221
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:56,170
was about was like bringing your
culture with Australian culture.

1222
01:01:57,189 --> 01:01:59,440
So what can you put together?

1223
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:03,659
What can you do that merges your
culture, the two cultures together?

1224
01:02:03,660 --> 01:02:07,929
So for me, it was doing this
lady dancing, Sega dancing.

1225
01:02:07,929 --> 01:02:11,020
And when people do Sega dancing,
it's this massive flowy, big skirt,

1226
01:02:11,630 --> 01:02:13,040
it's a lot of drums and all that.

1227
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:13,850
So I did that.

1228
01:02:14,170 --> 01:02:16,650
And in the background was
like, I did eucalyptus.

1229
01:02:17,630 --> 01:02:20,770
Leaves, because for me, I love
Australian flora, like, you

1230
01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:21,960
know, like fauna and flora.

1231
01:02:21,970 --> 01:02:22,530
I love it.

1232
01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:23,190
I still love it.

1233
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:25,360
For me, that was the best way to do it.

1234
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:29,070
So, like, her skirt, I had,
like, wattle flowers on it.

1235
01:02:29,740 --> 01:02:33,360
And at the bottom of it, I
brought in my hometown as well.

1236
01:02:33,389 --> 01:02:36,130
So, my kids saw me do this.

1237
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,855
Like, you know, mommy,
what are you Painting.

1238
01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:38,555
What is this?

1239
01:02:38,555 --> 01:02:39,335
Can we help?

1240
01:02:39,335 --> 01:02:41,265
And like, I mean, they paint
brushes as well to come and

1241
01:02:41,265 --> 01:02:42,225
help me with doing my painting.

1242
01:02:42,225 --> 01:02:42,845
I'm like, Nope.

1243
01:02:42,845 --> 01:02:49,235
So they wanted to help, you
know, bless their little house.

1244
01:02:49,245 --> 01:02:49,835
I want to help.

1245
01:02:49,835 --> 01:02:52,895
But they, it made me talk
about it, what that was.

1246
01:02:53,085 --> 01:02:56,304
And when we went to the opening
night, they saw different cultures,

1247
01:02:56,305 --> 01:02:59,264
like, you know, different from
different countries, different things.

1248
01:02:59,804 --> 01:03:02,745
So, like I said, culture is a big thing.

1249
01:03:02,755 --> 01:03:05,665
You got to hold on to,
especially when you move around.

1250
01:03:05,665 --> 01:03:09,004
So if one day, even they decide to
leave Australia to move somewhere else.

1251
01:03:09,745 --> 01:03:12,925
So they have like, you know, motion
culture and Australian culture, like

1252
01:03:12,925 --> 01:03:16,915
I want to like for them to have with
them and then, you know, to always

1253
01:03:16,915 --> 01:03:20,905
carry that and, you know, cause
that's part of who you are really.

1254
01:03:36,435 --> 01:03:36,745
Yeah.

1255
01:03:41,395 --> 01:03:42,145
Yes.

1256
01:03:51,715 --> 01:03:52,445
Hangbaos.

1257
01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:54,075
It's called hangbaos.

1258
01:03:54,075 --> 01:03:57,175
So like, in Chinese culture,
like, you know, you give money

1259
01:03:57,185 --> 01:03:59,175
to kids in your red envelopes.

1260
01:03:59,705 --> 01:04:04,405
So Ben and I were like, we're going to
bring, look, I think the significance

1261
01:04:04,405 --> 01:04:05,985
of it is like good luck, kids.

1262
01:04:06,330 --> 01:04:09,370
So we get a little note in a little
red envelope, which they call hongbaos.

1263
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:13,430
So better now since having kids
were like, no, you know what?

1264
01:04:13,430 --> 01:04:14,170
We'll bring that to them.

1265
01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:17,300
That's like a little, it's just 5,
you know, you put that in a little

1266
01:04:17,300 --> 01:04:21,450
envelope and means the world to kids
like, Oh my goodness, 5, you know,

1267
01:04:21,489 --> 01:04:24,620
like, it's just more like, this is,
do you want to buy something with it?

1268
01:04:24,670 --> 01:04:26,820
You want to save this money
or, you know, buy something

1269
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,290
with a second little good luck.

1270
01:04:29,170 --> 01:04:33,190
You know, to start the new year,
like, and I should say for me,

1271
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:35,630
like I said, Mauritius is very,
very multicultural, right?

1272
01:04:35,930 --> 01:04:40,830
So there's public holidays for
Chinese new year for Diwali, you know,

1273
01:04:40,830 --> 01:04:44,560
there's public holidays for like each
culture has their public holiday.

1274
01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:49,940
Now, when like, for example, Chinese
new year, I have a neighbour who will

1275
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:54,020
come and bring little like spring
rolls or like, you know, things that

1276
01:04:54,020 --> 01:04:57,680
they've made different, like cultural
food, they will come and drop it.

1277
01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:01,895
You know, so, and then for us as
well, like if there's a, in a prayer,

1278
01:05:01,895 --> 01:05:06,015
like in Tamil, we do what we call
seven curries with rice and all that.

1279
01:05:06,015 --> 01:05:09,615
So that's like a typical Tamil
sort of meal, like, you know,

1280
01:05:09,655 --> 01:05:11,465
every prayer, wedding and all that.

1281
01:05:11,985 --> 01:05:15,745
So we'll tell neighbours, come eat, or if
there's leftover, we'll go and drop it.

1282
01:05:15,765 --> 01:05:18,625
Like, you know, it's how everyone,
each culture knows of each

1283
01:05:18,625 --> 01:05:21,035
culture's like festival and like,
cause there's always that sharing.

1284
01:05:21,515 --> 01:05:21,885
And.

1285
01:05:22,075 --> 01:05:25,075
You know, look back in the day
was a lot more now, unfortunately,

1286
01:05:25,075 --> 01:05:27,795
with time going by, like, you know,
people losing that a little bit,

1287
01:05:28,435 --> 01:05:30,165
but that's how I knew about it.

1288
01:05:30,435 --> 01:05:31,915
And Ben knows about it.

1289
01:05:32,145 --> 01:05:35,574
And so we brought that and
it's funny, like they do the

1290
01:05:35,575 --> 01:05:36,695
dragon dance and all that.

1291
01:05:36,875 --> 01:05:40,874
So just the blessings of dragon
dance is like the blessing of

1292
01:05:40,904 --> 01:05:42,164
like a business and all that.

1293
01:05:42,550 --> 01:05:43,460
You know, they do here.

1294
01:05:43,490 --> 01:05:47,440
So just up the road from where we live
here at the shops, they come and do it.

1295
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:52,000
So we take the kids and it's meant to
be good luck to go and pack one of them.

1296
01:05:52,450 --> 01:05:57,010
But as you know, Melbourne does, it's
so much, you know, it's, it's huge.

1297
01:05:57,469 --> 01:05:59,719
And we were, we planned
it that way as well.

1298
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:03,570
Like we'll be in the city when we'll sit
and the kids can see what that's about.

1299
01:06:03,780 --> 01:06:05,150
And I remember we had Chinese food.

1300
01:06:05,150 --> 01:06:06,500
We had Asian food that day as well.

1301
01:06:06,500 --> 01:06:10,420
We, so it's just a pretty
little culture to the kids.

1302
01:06:10,420 --> 01:06:11,110
I feel like.

1303
01:06:11,755 --> 01:06:15,745
If we don't pass these to the kids, they
just, you know, it's going to die with us.

1304
01:06:15,755 --> 01:06:18,685
So it's up to them to like
partake in things like that.

1305
01:06:18,705 --> 01:06:23,834
And mainly, especially respecting it, you
know, other cultures have this certain

1306
01:06:23,834 --> 01:06:25,195
festival that they do and all that.

1307
01:06:25,195 --> 01:06:26,005
So you respect it.

1308
01:06:26,044 --> 01:06:28,614
Cause like, you know, and then
they will respect yours as well.

1309
01:06:29,504 --> 01:06:31,385
So that's why we always do that.

1310
01:06:31,395 --> 01:06:32,705
We always just give them a little humble.

1311
01:06:34,130 --> 01:06:37,650
Usually straight away go to the shops to
go get lollies or something, but it's like

1312
01:06:37,650 --> 01:06:42,020
a little, you know, and we believe in like
for New Year's as well, like Tamil New

1313
01:06:42,020 --> 01:06:46,800
Year, which is in April, we wear brand
new clothes, you know, it's not just the

1314
01:06:46,990 --> 01:06:50,890
New Year, the 31st of December, so each
culture have their own New Year's as well.

1315
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:55,660
So we do that as well in April and
the kids, you know, will do, again,

1316
01:06:55,660 --> 01:06:59,200
there'll be prayer, we cook food,
we eat, they get ducky, you put new

1317
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:02,070
clothes on, so the kids know that, so.

1318
01:07:02,915 --> 01:07:04,545
Oh, well, the oldest knows that, so.

1319
01:07:09,255 --> 01:07:10,805
Oh, he will, he will.

1320
01:07:11,115 --> 01:07:13,505
At the moment, he's just like,
what's going on, but he will.

1321
01:07:22,415 --> 01:07:28,445
Well, I feel like my Tamil culture,
basically, like, mainly, it's a lot

1322
01:07:28,445 --> 01:07:32,374
about respect and, like I said, you
do the prayers and things like that.

1323
01:07:32,775 --> 01:07:36,455
It's more about how like the community is
as well, like as a family and all that.

1324
01:07:36,455 --> 01:07:40,495
So look, grieving is a very hard
thing that it will hit you whenever

1325
01:07:40,525 --> 01:07:43,315
you could be driving one day and just
hits you like it's done it with me.

1326
01:07:43,875 --> 01:07:48,030
So I feel like people understand,
like, as they've been through it with

1327
01:07:48,030 --> 01:07:51,100
you, as a family, as like, you know,
even your neighbours and all that, so

1328
01:07:51,690 --> 01:07:56,890
grieving is nothing to be ashamed of,
really, like, you know, we all grieve

1329
01:07:56,940 --> 01:08:01,319
differently, you know, I never believe,
like, grieving will stop, you know,

1330
01:08:01,360 --> 01:08:04,739
like, for that person, because you're
grieving a particular person, idea of

1331
01:08:04,739 --> 01:08:08,190
them, like, when they were there and
all that, so, you know, don't keep

1332
01:08:08,190 --> 01:08:10,945
your grief inside, just, you know, Out.

1333
01:08:11,005 --> 01:08:14,695
Like, you know, grief happens, it's
just, it's part of who a person is.

1334
01:08:14,695 --> 01:08:17,735
Like it's the person's gone
now, so you always like, you

1335
01:08:17,735 --> 01:08:18,845
know, in the memory of them.

1336
01:08:19,885 --> 01:08:23,845
So grieving, I think just, I feel like it
makes you not forget about that person.

1337
01:08:24,145 --> 01:08:28,225
So, yeah, like, and part of my
culture, like I said, for that

1338
01:08:28,225 --> 01:08:30,955
month, you know, every month
you are thinking of that person.

1339
01:08:30,955 --> 01:08:33,475
You're doing this special offering, so.

1340
01:08:33,995 --> 01:08:36,815
Even now, it was just the
five years anniversary.

1341
01:08:36,815 --> 01:08:39,825
So my mom went, I think they
did the prayer, the offering,

1342
01:08:39,825 --> 01:08:40,805
the temple and all that.

1343
01:08:40,805 --> 01:08:43,145
So you just remember the
person as much as you can.

1344
01:08:43,355 --> 01:08:47,585
And actually, I forgot to mention
like here, I think the only,

1345
01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:49,215
the funeral being was pastoral.

1346
01:08:49,455 --> 01:08:50,995
So that was completely different as well.

1347
01:08:50,995 --> 01:08:52,414
That was like, you
know, it wasn't at home.

1348
01:08:53,595 --> 01:08:54,105
It was somewhere else.

1349
01:08:54,105 --> 01:08:56,515
And like the way, again,
the grieving is different.

1350
01:08:56,525 --> 01:08:58,255
You have like, the wake is different.

1351
01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:02,180
It's just, you know, each culture do
their own way that they've learned

1352
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:06,230
and, you know, that's been passed
on, again, by our grandparents,

1353
01:09:06,230 --> 01:09:07,669
like, you know, just how we do it.

1354
01:09:07,860 --> 01:09:11,460
And again, the grieving, they might not
be a monthly thing, but you remember

1355
01:09:11,460 --> 01:09:15,380
that, you know, a Muslim, you know,
that day, You remember them and then

1356
01:09:15,380 --> 01:09:18,110
when the year anniversary happened,
like you, you still remember them?

1357
01:09:45,390 --> 01:09:45,750
Yeah.

1358
01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:49,490
Yeah.

1359
01:09:49,490 --> 01:09:49,940
Exactly.

1360
01:09:49,940 --> 01:09:54,650
And like, you know how I said you, my
culture, like, you know the cremation.

1361
01:09:55,430 --> 01:10:00,290
So then the next day you collect
the ash and then you go and

1362
01:10:00,290 --> 01:10:04,730
like, you know, you release it
somewhere where that person wanted.

1363
01:10:04,730 --> 01:10:08,630
And for my dad, he always said growing up.

1364
01:10:08,845 --> 01:10:13,075
There was a river he used to play
out, you know, like in an area like

1365
01:10:13,105 --> 01:10:16,525
this, you know, friends and siblings
and all that, like, you know, and

1366
01:10:16,525 --> 01:10:19,685
he remembered his mom crossing that
river to go to work and all that.

1367
01:10:19,685 --> 01:10:21,695
So he wanted it to release the ash there.

1368
01:10:21,695 --> 01:10:24,135
So then the next day, the
boys did that as well.

1369
01:10:24,755 --> 01:10:28,835
And my brother in law, my nephew, they
went and released the ash in that area.

1370
01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:31,455
So in a way, my dad got sick.

1371
01:10:32,435 --> 01:10:34,155
We were hoping the surgery would go ahead.

1372
01:10:34,165 --> 01:10:36,335
He'll be okay and all that, but he didn't.

1373
01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:41,010
And In a way, he did pass away suddenly in
a way, because it was, it went quite quick

1374
01:10:41,020 --> 01:10:47,310
the way he's felt his health declined, but
even though it was unexpected in a way,

1375
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:52,039
at least we've had that conversation with
him in the past, he said, you know, I want

1376
01:10:52,039 --> 01:10:56,500
it to be, you know, I want to be cremated,
I, you know, you go release the ash.

1377
01:10:57,350 --> 01:10:58,210
in that area.

1378
01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:03,120
So in a way that helps with your grief
because you've had that conversation.

1379
01:11:03,690 --> 01:11:08,040
And for me, then look before
having kids, I never thought

1380
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:09,340
about death and things like that.

1381
01:11:09,430 --> 01:11:14,030
I'm like, Oh, you know, but then
like, for me personally, like, I

1382
01:11:14,030 --> 01:11:17,399
was like, I had this conversation I
haven't had with anyone, like probably

1383
01:11:17,979 --> 01:11:19,790
with Ben, but then the husband.

1384
01:11:19,790 --> 01:11:25,010
And then I'm like, in a way, do I
want to be here or back in Mauritius?

1385
01:11:25,010 --> 01:11:26,960
It's like, your heart is in two places.

1386
01:11:27,805 --> 01:11:33,225
All the times, you know, so it gets
you to think like, you know, what

1387
01:11:33,225 --> 01:11:35,915
would I want to be like the situation
love that you look as you look

1388
01:11:35,915 --> 01:11:37,325
tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

1389
01:11:37,925 --> 01:11:40,165
So, things can happen like this.

1390
01:11:40,765 --> 01:11:44,295
So, it kind of like makes you think
like, you know, maybe it's a conversation

1391
01:11:44,295 --> 01:11:48,165
you need to have, have a plan, even
if you don't want to talk to someone,

1392
01:11:48,175 --> 01:11:51,755
maybe write it somewhere like, you
know, a form of a will or something

1393
01:11:51,755 --> 01:11:55,185
like, it just gets you thinking, you
know, when someone passes away, like,

1394
01:11:55,185 --> 01:11:57,475
you know, how will my situation be?

1395
01:12:00,005 --> 01:12:02,045
Yeah, yeah, oh for sure.

1396
01:12:14,145 --> 01:12:14,735
Exactly.

1397
01:12:15,295 --> 01:12:15,855
Yeah, yeah.

1398
01:12:17,325 --> 01:12:17,585
Yeah,

1399
01:12:20,915 --> 01:12:21,325
exactly.

1400
01:12:21,875 --> 01:12:22,145
Exactly.

1401
01:12:22,145 --> 01:12:22,465
Yes.

1402
01:12:22,475 --> 01:12:27,305
So in a way that was like, like I said,
it helps like, you know, because then

1403
01:12:27,315 --> 01:12:31,144
you would have thought like, even though
let's say he didn't say where the place

1404
01:12:31,145 --> 01:12:33,835
he wanted the ash to be released, you're
like, it will always be on your mind.

1405
01:12:33,844 --> 01:12:35,045
Like, is that the place he wanted?

1406
01:12:35,904 --> 01:12:38,315
You know, like, did I do
right by him to do this?

1407
01:12:38,315 --> 01:12:39,434
Like he did say cremation.

1408
01:12:39,434 --> 01:12:40,235
So we did that.

1409
01:12:40,605 --> 01:12:41,575
What do we do with the ash now?

1410
01:12:41,575 --> 01:12:44,315
So, you know, like, so, you know,

1411
01:12:46,725 --> 01:12:47,285
yeah.

1412
01:12:47,380 --> 01:12:48,785
Yeah.

1413
01:12:48,785 --> 01:12:50,189
Yeah.

1414
01:13:01,210 --> 01:13:02,100
Exactly.

1415
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:07,150
Yeah.

1416
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:11,350
Yeah.

1417
01:13:11,420 --> 01:13:12,020
Yeah.

1418
01:13:21,650 --> 01:13:22,460
Exactly.

1419
01:13:22,460 --> 01:13:22,730
Yeah.

1420
01:13:22,730 --> 01:13:24,970
And I still remember the
day he said it to me.

1421
01:13:24,970 --> 01:13:26,030
Like he told you to my sisters.

1422
01:13:26,030 --> 01:13:26,590
I went to me.

1423
01:13:26,970 --> 01:13:29,890
We went like a, it was like
a, not so much kayaking.

1424
01:13:29,890 --> 01:13:30,780
We went up in a boat.

1425
01:13:30,980 --> 01:13:32,009
One of his friends got a boat.

1426
01:13:32,010 --> 01:13:33,214
So we went up that river.

1427
01:13:33,765 --> 01:13:38,045
And Ben was with us as well then, and
then he said, like, oh, this is a river,

1428
01:13:38,385 --> 01:13:41,875
you know, my mum used to cross this, we
used, I've had so much fun here, we used

1429
01:13:41,875 --> 01:13:46,525
to play on the rocks and all that, and one
day when I die, make sure, you know, like,

1430
01:13:49,595 --> 01:13:51,164
so, like, you know.

1431
01:13:53,620 --> 01:13:56,780
Like, it's, it's very like, you know,
he was showing me things and like,

1432
01:13:56,780 --> 01:13:58,390
it's like, oh, it's so great here.

1433
01:13:58,450 --> 01:14:00,010
We used to catch this here.

1434
01:14:00,010 --> 01:14:01,240
We used to do this.

1435
01:14:01,700 --> 01:14:04,360
Oh, and then like, you know,
but yeah, make sure when I die,

1436
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:07,119
like, you know, it's like, okay,
you would just tell me about it.

1437
01:14:07,120 --> 01:14:10,520
Like, you know, so he's like, always
telling me how much fun he had there.

1438
01:14:10,530 --> 01:14:11,539
And it was like, okay.

1439
01:14:11,770 --> 01:14:14,920
At least like, you know, in a way
the conversation, like he's had that

1440
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:17,690
out there, so we'll respect that.

1441
01:14:20,440 --> 01:14:20,800
Yeah.

1442
01:14:21,089 --> 01:14:21,539
Yeah.

1443
01:14:27,639 --> 01:14:28,509
Oh, I know.

1444
01:14:28,780 --> 01:14:34,110
Like I was not canceling this because
something will happen and then I'll

1445
01:14:34,110 --> 01:14:35,609
be like, one month will have passed.

1446
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:36,720
You know?

1447
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:38,040
So I'm like, no, let's do it.

1448
01:14:38,230 --> 01:14:39,060
It's a long weekend.

1449
01:14:39,060 --> 01:14:39,500
Let's do it.

1450
01:14:39,530 --> 01:14:39,780
Yes.

1451
01:14:39,850 --> 01:14:40,450
Fantastic.

1452
01:14:40,550 --> 01:14:41,580
It's good to talk about that.

1453
01:14:41,620 --> 01:14:44,250
Like, look, until you go through
it, people don't understand.

1454
01:14:44,420 --> 01:14:44,850
CATHERINE: Yeah.

1455
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:47,130
NYANA: And there's just so much you
can tell someone this will happen.

1456
01:14:47,179 --> 01:14:47,750
You got to do this.

1457
01:14:47,750 --> 01:14:48,360
You got to do that.

1458
01:14:48,360 --> 01:14:51,470
But, and people will tell you as
well, you know, this will happen.

1459
01:14:51,470 --> 01:14:52,119
That will happen.

1460
01:14:52,119 --> 01:14:53,709
But until you go through
it and you leave it.

1461
01:14:53,770 --> 01:14:54,119
You don't

1462
01:14:54,149 --> 01:14:55,069
CATHERINE: really get it, do you?

1463
01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:56,100
NYANA: Exactly.

1464
01:14:56,100 --> 01:14:59,710
And different family members will go
through different grieving process

1465
01:14:59,710 --> 01:15:00,950
and you gotta respect that as well.

1466
01:15:00,990 --> 01:15:01,170
So.

1467
01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:01,620
Yeah,

1468
01:15:01,620 --> 01:15:02,080
CATHERINE: totally.

1469
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:02,780
So right.

1470
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:04,080
NYANA: Yeah, exactly.

1471
01:15:04,725 --> 01:15:06,215
CATHERINE: Thank you so much, Liana.

1472
01:15:06,595 --> 01:15:08,235
Alright, thank you!

1473
01:15:11,205 --> 01:15:14,614
We hope you enjoyed today's
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1474
01:15:14,924 --> 01:15:16,515
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1475
01:15:17,445 --> 01:15:21,715
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1476
01:15:21,715 --> 01:15:23,564
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1477
01:15:23,815 --> 01:15:26,205
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1478
01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:29,135
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1479
01:15:29,315 --> 01:15:33,475
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1480
01:15:33,475 --> 01:15:35,215
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1481
01:15:35,485 --> 01:15:36,835
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1482
01:15:36,985 --> 01:15:37,975
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1483
01:15:37,975 --> 01:15:41,905
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1484
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