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About this episode
This week is DonateLife Week (Sunday 28 July - Sunday 4 August 2024), and I've had the honour of speaking with Sam Stones from DonateLife Victoria. Sam shares the delicate and important work they do, helping families navigate the difficult decisions around organ and tissue donation when a loved one is dying.
In this episode, Sam walks us through the process of donation conversations, explaining how she approaches families in their most vulnerable moments.
We dive into the rarity of organ donations, the specific conditions required for someone to become a donor, and the emotional and logistical complexities involved. Sam also shares some heartwarming stories about the impact of organ donation, including the long-lasting connections between recipients and donor families.
You'll learn about the practicalities of organ donation, clear up some myths, and understand the entire process.
Sam's insights highlight the incredible generosity of donor families and the profound difference organ donation can make in people's lives.
Lynden’s story – additional details
In this episode, Samantha speaks about her dear friend Lynden, who sadly lost his life in 2023 after a 10-month battle with cancer. As Lynden was very ill, his wife Melissa was key in communicating his decision about corneal donation to medical staff, friends, family, and the Lions Eye Donation Service, also completing the necessary consent paperwork on his behalf. At the time of recording this episode, it had been almost 16 months since Lynden had passed away.
Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.
Take care,
Catherine
Show notes
Guest Bio
Donation Specialist Nurse Coordinator
She works with families who have just received news in hospital that their loved one will not survive. Sam is brought into this incredibly delicate conversation with families in a private hospital room, and provides support and information to the family so they can make the decision that is best for them about donating their loved ones organs and/or tissues.
DonateLife Week runs (Sunday 28 July – Sunday 4 August) – our major awareness campaign for organ and tissue donation.
Image by Chris Cincotta/Humans in Melbourne
Summary
In this episode, we discuss:
- The process of organ donation conversations with families
- The rare conditions required for organ donation to be possible
- The emotional and logistical complexities of coordinating organ donations
- Heart warming stories of donor and recipient connections
Transcript
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Sam: I had a friend who passed
away about 18 months ago.
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He was 33 and got a diagnosis
of stage four bowel cancer.
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I'd just started at Donate Life
as he was unfortunately diagnosed.
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00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:16,249
And one of his questions to
me was like, Oh, they're not
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00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:17,559
going to want my organs now.
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00:00:1 ... Read More
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Sam: I had a friend who passed
away about 18 months ago.
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He was 33 and got a diagnosis
of stage four bowel cancer.
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I'd just started at Donate Life
as he was unfortunately diagnosed.
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And one of his questions to
me was like, Oh, they're not
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going to want my organs now.
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And I said, I don't know, I
haven't started my training.
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Unfortunately for him, his cancer
did progress quite quickly.
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And he did ask me that
question another time.
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And I was like, I think you
can donate your corneas.
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And he, he did, he called, he
called Donate Life and self
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consented for corneal donation.
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And then every time I visited him
after he consented, he would be
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telling me, Oh, I'm going to help
restore the sight of two people.
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It was very comforting that he was
able to make that decision, one
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on his own, and two that he had.
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the understanding and meaning
behind that he was going to
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help people in such a really sad
circumstance for him and his wife.
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Catherine: Welcome to Don't Be
Caught Dead, a podcast encouraging
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open conversations about dying
and the death of a loved one.
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I'm your host, Katherine Ashton, founder
of Critical Info, and I'm helping to
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bring your stories of death back to life.
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Because while you may not be ready
to die, at least you can be prepared.
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Don't Be Caught Dead acknowledges
the lands of the Kulin Nations
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and recognises their connection
to land, sea and community.
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We pay our respects to their Elders,
past, present and emerging and extend
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that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander and First Nation
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peoples around Samantha Stones is
Donation Specialist Nurse Coordinator
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who works with families who have just
received the news in hospital that
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their loved one will not survive.
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Sam is brought into this incredibly
delicate conversation with
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families in a private hospital
room and provides support.
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and information to the family so
they can make the decision that is
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best for them about donating their
loved one's organs and or tissue.
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This week is Donate Life Week and
it is about creating awareness
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for organ and tissue donation.
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So Sam is the best person for
us to speak through today.
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Sam: Thanks for being with us Sam.
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Honored to be here with you
and your listeners today to
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talk about organ donation.
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Catherine: So tell me, when did you
start working for Donate Life Victoria?
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Sam: I started working for Donate
Life Victoria about two years ago, and
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I'm looking forward to spending many
more years helping support families.
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Catherine: And what does
Donate Life Victoria do?
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Sam: So Donate Life Victoria is
the organ donation service for
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Victoria, there's each, each state
has their own organ donation service.
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Organ and tissue donation service and
we are based in hospitals across the
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state of Victoria where we work with
hospitals to support the clinicians
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in looking after families who have
a loved one at end of life care.
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We also help provide education to
all of the staff in the hospitals
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about organ and tissue donation.
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Catherine: And so you just mentioned
that you hope to have many more years
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than your two with Donut Life Victoria.
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So what is it about your job
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Sam: that makes you get
out of bed every day?
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So I find helping someone at the end of
their life an incredibly honourable job.
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And I am always in awe of our
families and their generosity.
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When I meet them, I hope that we
provide lots of comfort for our
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families when taking the time to
help them consider organ donation.
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Catherine: And tell me, can you walk
me through that process when someone
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has, uh, received the news, uh, that
they, their loved one is going to die?
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Um, Is that the point that
you meet with the families?
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Can you talk me through that process?
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Sam: So initially, a referral
is made by the treating doctors
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of that person when they believe
someone is at the end of their life.
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And once the family have acknowledged
Or accept the information that
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their loved one is going to die.
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We would have what we would
call a donation conversation.
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So I'm introduced as a, either a donation
specialist or a end of life specialist.
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And we have a conversation about talking
about the rare opportunity to help
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others through becoming an organ donor.
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We offer support in them
making that decision as well.
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If they do consent for organ
donation, we then will go through the
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donation workup process with them.
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Catherine: So what are the things you
cover off in that conversation with the
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family when you're presenting, you know,
the aspects of donating organs or tissue?
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What sort of things do you talk through?
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Sam: Uh, we talk about the rarity
of organ donation, so the, so less
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than 2 percent of people who die in
Australia are actually die in a way
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where organ donation is possible.
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So you have to be in a intensive care
unit or an ED, and you have to be
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intubated, so have a breathing tube in.
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Catherine: Yeah, right.
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I didn't realise it was
that smaller percentage.
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Sam: No, it's actually a really small
amount of people who die in a way
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where organ donation is possible.
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So it is an incredibly rare opportunity to
be able to help others through donation.
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Catherine: And why is that?
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What is it about the process
that requires those requirements?
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Sam: Uh, so to, to become an organ
donor, you need to die in a way where
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we're able to still support your
organs and tissues for the process
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of the workup of the donation.
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And that can take up to 24 to
48 hours for us to complete.
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And we also would need time
to organize the recipients.
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As well as the surgical team.
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Catherine: Yeah, right, so it's that
delay in, okay, we've got someone who
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might have this particular blood type
with this particular organ, and then
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it's finding the recipient, isn't it?
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Sam: Hmm.
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So I, I, I work directly with the donors.
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So I'm responsible for the donor workup,
which includes taking the blood type
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and doing lots of different tests,
as well as collating a medical and
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social history of the potential donor.
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And that can take some time to
get all that information across.
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And then I give that information to
the transplant teams who will then
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choose a recipient and organize
the recipient from their side.
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Yeah.
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Catherine: And that must be very
difficult because you can't, well
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I'm assuming you can't really ask
the patient what their history is.
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You're really going on the hearsay of
the family or loved ones that are around.
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Is that right?
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Sam: Yep.
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So one of the things we do is we do ask
the family a medical social questionnaire.
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It's quite extensive.
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It's 64 questions and it goes from, you
know, Uh, where they were born, to what
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type of work they did, and if they took
part in any type of risky behaviors.
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And then we marry that up with
information that we're able to
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find through medical records.
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So things like your GP history, or
if you've ever seen a specialist,
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we then look at your current blood
test results and the reason that
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you came to the hospital as well.
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Catherine: So when you're saying
those questions, it reminds me of the
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questions that I normally have to go
through when I give a blood donation.
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Sam: Yes, they're very, very
similar to those questions.
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Yep.
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Yeah.
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But I actually really enjoy doing the
medical social questionnaire with the
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families because it means that I get to
learn about who the donor was as a person.
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And I often hear about, all of
their travel stories and where
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they've been or when they got a
tattoo or something like that.
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And it brings out a bit of a
story about that donor, which
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I think is incredibly special.
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Catherine: And is that social
aspect captured and, and then passed
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on or documented to the donor or
the recipient of that particular?
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Organ or tissue?
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Sam: Uh, yeah.
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So organ donation is
entirely confidential.
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So whilst I gather that information,
the only information that goes to the
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transplant teams is all de identified.
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Yep.
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Families and recipients can communicate.
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Through de identified means
through Donate Life Victoria.
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So they can write letters to
each other, which are then passed
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on, which is incredibly special.
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I've seen letters from, uh, recipients
to donors dating back to when I was
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in primary school and I thought it was
just incredibly special that they had
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been communicating that entire time.
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Catherine: That's really beautiful.
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Cause really.
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From memory, and I probably should
have researched this before we
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spoke, but I remember Fiona Coote,
I believe, being the first heart
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transplant recipient in the 80s.
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Was that right?
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Sam: I'm, I'm not sure, to be, to be
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Catherine: honest.
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That's one I'll have to include
in your show notes, won't I?
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Yeah, I think so.
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I remember, for whatever reason,
I remember her name obviously
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quite, quite prominently.
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I just want to Google her now.
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Yeah, I know, I know, I feel
like we should, we can do this.
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Let's go Fiona Coote.
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and donor.
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She received her first heart
transplant, looks like Victor Chang,
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and she's the longest surviving heart
transplant recipient in Australia.
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Oh my goodness.
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When it was fledgling.
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It was when it was what, sorry?
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Fledgling.
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There you go.
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1984.
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She was a 14 year old and was struck
down by a viral infection that
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irreversibly weakened her heart.
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And she was kept alive on
total life support until Dr.
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Victor Chang performed a
successful heart transplant at
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the Business Hospital, Sydney.
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And then that heart began to fail
after two years and she received
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a second heart transplant.
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And now she's the longest surviving
heart transplant recipient in Australia
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and is living a full and happy life.
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Sam: That's amazing.
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Catherine: There you go.
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There's a, there's a
success story for you.
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Sam: Yeah.
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I hadn't heard of her before.
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You'd think I would have even made a job.
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Um.
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Having said that, it
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Catherine: was before the internet.
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Um.
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Sam: And
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Catherine: before we could Google.
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So, you know, 84.
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Sam: I, I have a, a friend who, I,
it's actually quite a cute story.
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So we met in primary school and when I
was quite little, I, she always had blue
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eyes Uh, blue lips in primary school.
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And I never knew why at the time,
cause I didn't do, um, obviously
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wasn't medical trained at that time.
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And, and then we lost
touch from primary school.
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And then I actually ran into her
when I was working in the operating
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theater before I worked for Donate
Life and she was doing one of
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her final nursing placements.
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And she still had blue lips
then and we reconnected and
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she ended up going on ahead.
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I didn't, I knew that the blue lips
meant that there was probably something
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wrong with her heart or lungs at
that stage, but didn't obviously ask.
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And then I saw that she had actually had
a heart and lung transplant and it's just
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amazing because she's now a successful
nurse, which I think is just so special.
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Catherine: Wow.
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Yeah.
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Now she goes on to help others.
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Sam: I think that's, yeah, really sweet
that she is able to help others and to
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have known her through that journey,
I think is incredibly special as well.
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It just makes me feel that the people
that were so generous to do that.
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Don't give.
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I think that she recently may have
purchased her own house or something.
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It was very exciting.
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I saw it on Facebook.
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Catherine: Because that is the
difference organ donation makes, isn't
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it, whether someone lives or dies?
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Sam: Uh, yeah, it can, it definitely
can, can mean that for people.
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It's life saving what donation is,
donation means to other people.
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I have another friend who, she, we used
to work together as carers before I
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grad, once again before I graduated.
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And I knew that she was on sick
leave, but then one day she posted
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a picture of her in the intensive
care unit and said that she had a.
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Awful autoimmune disease
that attacked her liver.
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She actually had a liver transplant
and she didn't want to tell anyone
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she was sick because she was so scared
that she was going to pass away and
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wanted to only give people the good
news that she was going to be okay.
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And she's actually gone on to
have two Children of her own.
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She now runs a really successful business.
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And it just, you know, puts into
perspective how important and how
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life saving organ donation is.
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Catherine: And is that common for
people to feel hesitant to actually
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let people know that they do suffer
from a life limiting illness?
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Um, I need your donation and
they don't share that story.
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Just based on your personal experience.
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Sam: Just on my personal experience,
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00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,249
I, I'm not sure to be honest.
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I know, I know that my friend, the one
who's had the liver transplant and the one
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who's had the heart and lung transplant
were very stoic in their illnesses.
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I'm not sure if other people would, would
be or not, but I just remember them.
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00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:01,020
Like, I suppose you kind of just live with
what you've got, kind of, if you like my
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00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:04,970
friend who had the blue lips her whole
life up until she had her transplant.
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I don't think she knew any different
compared to what it would feel like.
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00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:11,170
I can't imagine what it would feel
like to take a breath the first
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time when you haven't been able to
breathe properly for your entire life.
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Catherine: That's so true.
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00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,709
It's just what they know, isn't it?
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Sam: Yep.
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Catherine: So there's probably
that innate resilience that they
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just kind of probably just go
through every day, day in, day out.
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Because without the support of
someone like DonateLive, that's
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really what they have to do.
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Sam: Yeah,
256
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I'm so sorry.
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I'm
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00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:52,599
Catherine: asking some questions and
259
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,380
Sam: more about recipients when
I'm, I'm more focused on the
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00:15:55,640 --> 00:16:02,129
donors and those, those were my two
friends, but that's totally fine.
261
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So what led to
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Catherine: you becoming
involved in organ donation?
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So you started off as a hair, you.
264
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:13,020
And then you move in to,
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Sam: to lots of roles.
266
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:18,849
So I was a carer before I
graduated from nursing school.
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So I completed a degree in nursing
and then I, this really strong passion
268
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to work in the operating theater.
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And the reason that I wanted to
work in the operating theater
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was I was actually sick as a kid.
271
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I didn't have a transplant, but I
was sick as a child and spent a lot
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of time in the operating theater to
the point where I think I've had.
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I think 30 operations or something.
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And during my last year in high school,
I actually had a family member who, who
275
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passed away and they generously consented
to organ donation or my family made a
276
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decision for them that they had consented
for organ donation and they helped many
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00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,635
people through, through organ donation.
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00:17:02,114 --> 00:17:07,569
And I, Then when I was working in the
operating theater, I met a donation
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00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:14,000
coordinator and I was just in awe at
about how she was able to talk to us
280
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:18,589
about something that we hadn't often seen,
even as people who work in healthcare
281
00:17:18,819 --> 00:17:21,760
and help support the, our staff.
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00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:25,770
And then we saw the donation
operation and have assisted with it.
283
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,750
And then we actually got a letter
at the end, thanking us for our,
284
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:33,435
uh, assistance in helping with
that particular organ donation.
285
00:17:33,435 --> 00:17:37,325
And I just remember thinking when I saw
her, I think I was like 21 at the time.
286
00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:41,815
I was like, what a cool job to be
able to have and to be able to support
287
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:47,434
families that went through something
that I went through as a, as a teenager.
288
00:17:47,674 --> 00:17:52,610
And then I, I, Worked in theatre
for many years after that.
289
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:57,370
I ended up in education and research
and a few other different nursing roles.
290
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,270
And then I saw the ad for Donate Life
and I said, well, I may as well, you
291
00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:04,810
know, try to see if they'll take me.
292
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,830
And I was successful.
293
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:07,250
Yeah.
294
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:08,590
Catherine: And who gave
295
00:18:09,029 --> 00:18:12,209
Sam: you that letter after you'd
been involved in the operation?
296
00:18:12,209 --> 00:18:16,040
So the letter was given to me by
the nurse unit manager at the time.
297
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,889
And it was from that donor coordinator
who actually still works for Donate Life.
298
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:21,750
Catherine: Oh, wow.
299
00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:22,280
Yep.
300
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:29,229
You know, I know when you're going
through that training, you are almost
301
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:34,059
desensitized because you're seeing so
many operations and so many different
302
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,550
procedures and you become familiar.
303
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,110
But to actually receive a
beautiful letter, that must
304
00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:43,000
have been really quite amazing.
305
00:18:43,795 --> 00:18:47,555
Sam: Yeah, I, I think she helped
three people through donation,
306
00:18:47,665 --> 00:18:49,245
the lady that I was involved with.
307
00:18:49,655 --> 00:18:52,425
It's actually one of my favorite
parts of the job now, writing those
308
00:18:52,425 --> 00:18:56,315
letters to thank all the staff
for their assistance in donation.
309
00:18:56,355 --> 00:18:59,925
Like I said, the workup can
take quite a while to do, so.
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00:19:01,205 --> 00:19:01,264
Catherine: That's so
311
00:19:01,495 --> 00:19:01,794
Sam: funny,
312
00:19:02,044 --> 00:19:05,364
Catherine: so you have done a
full circle, and now you're the
313
00:19:05,364 --> 00:19:07,564
one that writes those letters.
314
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,794
Sam: Yeah, I, I'm about to
write a few letters today.
315
00:19:10,794 --> 00:19:16,334
I've got a few due actually, where I will
be thanking the police for helping me with
316
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:22,004
transporting bloods to the hospital staff
for helping with doing tests and the organ
317
00:19:22,004 --> 00:19:24,944
donation operation, as well as writing.
318
00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:27,784
We also write letters to the families
to give them some information
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00:19:27,794 --> 00:19:29,245
about the recipients as well.
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00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:35,695
Catherine: That's amazing because all
of these first responders and those
321
00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:38,334
in care roles that you mentioned.
322
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,465
That's just part of their
everyday life, isn't it?
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00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:47,784
So for them to receive a thank you out
of the blue must be pretty amazing.
324
00:19:48,995 --> 00:19:50,034
Sam: I would like to hope so.
325
00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:55,714
And it just shows you that they're so
much willing, so willing to help when
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00:19:55,715 --> 00:19:59,975
it comes to something that's so rare and
has such a profound impact on people.
327
00:20:00,505 --> 00:20:04,315
Like just yesterday, not yesterday,
the day before yesterday, I was on
328
00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:09,865
call and I had to call in an entire
team to do a particular test and
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00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:14,335
they were more than happy to come in
to help facilitate that, to fulfill
330
00:20:14,335 --> 00:20:16,875
that family's wish of organ donation.
331
00:20:17,855 --> 00:20:21,644
And that person went on to donate and.
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00:20:22,545 --> 00:20:27,655
Uh, I think it's, he donated, they
donated four or five organs in the end.
333
00:20:27,885 --> 00:20:28,205
Yeah.
334
00:20:28,785 --> 00:20:29,975
Just so incredibly generous.
335
00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:34,155
Catherine: And those four
or five organs could go on
336
00:20:34,224 --> 00:20:36,175
potentially to how many people?
337
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:38,794
Four or five people.
338
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,274
Sam: So an organ donor can save
the lives of up to seven people.
339
00:20:42,345 --> 00:20:42,665
Yeah.
340
00:20:42,724 --> 00:20:42,814
Wow.
341
00:20:43,095 --> 00:20:47,565
That person donated their heart,
their liver, their kidneys.
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00:20:50,545 --> 00:20:54,965
Catherine: The ripple effect
and the life changing aspects of
343
00:20:54,995 --> 00:20:57,795
the work you do is mind blowing.
344
00:20:59,004 --> 00:21:03,615
Like, do you know, has there been
research done on how far that
345
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:09,245
kind of impact of improving life,
And loved ones has been done.
346
00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:12,325
Sam: Oh, that's a very good question.
347
00:21:12,325 --> 00:21:17,594
I know that Donate Life has done a
study on the impact of organ donation.
348
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:22,445
It's called, I think it's called the Wave
Study, and it tells us a bit about why
349
00:21:22,445 --> 00:21:26,765
people choose organ donation and what
they remember from their conversations
350
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:30,735
and what of the things is that they
find a lot of comfort in knowing that
351
00:21:30,735 --> 00:21:32,685
they've been able to help other people.
352
00:21:33,135 --> 00:21:38,075
In a really sad time, they've been able
to help and provides comfort to them.
353
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:42,985
Catherine: And has there ever been
anyone that has actually said,
354
00:21:43,295 --> 00:21:45,155
no, I'm not comfortable with that?
355
00:21:45,794 --> 00:21:48,524
Like, how do you navigate
that sort of situation?
356
00:21:49,254 --> 00:21:51,259
Sam: Not comfortable with organ donation?
357
00:21:51,259 --> 00:21:55,913
Well, I think the first part of that
is establishing or making sure that
358
00:21:55,913 --> 00:22:00,568
the patient knows or the family knows
that I'm, I'm actually on their team.
359
00:22:00,568 --> 00:22:03,559
I just want to make sure that they make.
360
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,800
a informed decision about organ donation.
361
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:12,670
And I know that there's a lot of myths
in the community about organ donation.
362
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:17,229
So I will thank them for letting me know
that they're not comfortable about it.
363
00:22:17,390 --> 00:22:22,269
And I will, I will gently ask them,
you know, can you tell me a little bit
364
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:28,080
more about why You're uncomfortable or
if there's anything I can do to help
365
00:22:28,290 --> 00:22:31,320
make sure that they have all the right
information to make that decision.
366
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:36,960
Just one example of that is I
recently had a donor who injected.
367
00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:44,495
Drugs and the, then the next of kin
initially declined donation because
368
00:22:44,495 --> 00:22:48,205
they thought it wouldn't be safe because
he, they knew that they injected drugs,
369
00:22:48,585 --> 00:22:49,965
but that's not actually the case.
370
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:54,785
And I explained that to them and they
then actually just said, that, oh,
371
00:22:54,785 --> 00:22:59,655
if that's still, if it's safe and
it'll be safe for the recipients,
372
00:22:59,655 --> 00:23:00,885
then yes, of course we would.
373
00:23:00,885 --> 00:23:05,104
I was just worried that it wouldn't
be safe because of the, the drug
374
00:23:05,105 --> 00:23:07,895
injecting or, or they wouldn't
be able to donate because of
375
00:23:07,905 --> 00:23:09,645
the drug injecting, for example.
376
00:23:10,794 --> 00:23:15,855
Catherine: And what are some of the other
common myths that you find that people
377
00:23:15,855 --> 00:23:19,895
have in their head about the reasons
why they, they perhaps are hesitant?
378
00:23:21,145 --> 00:23:22,525
Sam: Uh, it could be.
379
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,300
that they think they're too old.
380
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,650
That's very rarely the case.
381
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:30,680
We have people who can donate
up to the age of 80, even older.
382
00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:35,500
It really depends on their health
history or they might think that they
383
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:37,400
might look different after donation.
384
00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:44,710
Donation operations are done with
exceptionally highly qualified surgeons
385
00:23:45,129 --> 00:23:53,300
who the care and dignity of our donors is
our utmost, of our most highest priority.
386
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:59,089
Catherine: So if people had concerns about
donating their organs and, oh my goodness,
387
00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:04,159
we won't be able to have an open coffin
or a viewing, that's not the case, is it?
388
00:24:04,229 --> 00:24:05,669
Sam: Yeah, that's an absolute no.
389
00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:10,635
Uh, myth, you can still have an
open, an open, um, casket at your
390
00:24:10,655 --> 00:24:14,985
end of life ceremony or funeral
or celebration of life there.
391
00:24:15,405 --> 00:24:19,265
Once you're dressed for your funeral, no
one would know that you've been a donor.
392
00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:21,655
Catherine: Yeah.
393
00:24:21,925 --> 00:24:27,144
I think that's a good one to
cover up on and about religion.
394
00:24:27,374 --> 00:24:31,535
Some people say that, you
know, Buddhism, Hinduism.
395
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,870
But they aren't barriers to
organ donation, are they?
396
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:41,900
Sam: No, religion is certainly
not a barrier to organ donation.
397
00:24:42,310 --> 00:24:46,399
Some people may think that because they
follow a particular religion that they
398
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:51,459
can't donate, but we actually know that
most religions support organ donation.
399
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:57,055
And if that is a concern for a family,
I would offer to Get their religious
400
00:24:57,055 --> 00:25:02,175
leader if they're comfortable to have
a conversation with us about donation.
401
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:03,795
That's
402
00:25:03,905 --> 00:25:04,525
Catherine: fantastic.
403
00:25:04,655 --> 00:25:09,934
So being in that expert within
that, the religious space to have
404
00:25:09,935 --> 00:25:11,423
those conversations is fantastic.
405
00:25:11,423 --> 00:25:11,796
Yeah.
406
00:25:11,796 --> 00:25:12,168
And
407
00:25:12,168 --> 00:25:17,284
Sam: if, if a family has a particular
requirement, I recently had a donor
408
00:25:17,624 --> 00:25:19,854
who was, I believe of Muslim faith.
409
00:25:20,294 --> 00:25:24,284
And I asked the family, what's
the most important thing for you?
410
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:25,714
And they said to me that.
411
00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:30,384
The most important thing for us is that
this is done as quickly as possible so
412
00:25:30,435 --> 00:25:32,915
that that person can go to the mosque.
413
00:25:33,385 --> 00:25:35,054
And I said, okay, sure.
414
00:25:35,145 --> 00:25:40,384
And I made sure that everything happened
as efficiently as possible so that we
415
00:25:40,384 --> 00:25:43,784
could fulfill that wish of that person
going to the mosque as soon as possible.
416
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,370
Catherine: Can you talk
me through the process?
417
00:25:49,060 --> 00:25:54,529
You have a conversation, you do their
work up with their bloods, et cetera.
418
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,460
Uh, there's that period of delay
or possible delay depending
419
00:25:59,460 --> 00:26:01,100
on finding the recipient.
420
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:02,860
What happens then?
421
00:26:02,860 --> 00:26:06,950
What's the process for
family to say goodbye?
422
00:26:06,950 --> 00:26:09,850
What, what sort of options are they given?
423
00:26:10,590 --> 00:26:12,940
Sam: Well, firstly, there is,
there is a consent process.
424
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,350
In there, after the family verbally
agreed a donation, where we talk about
425
00:26:17,350 --> 00:26:21,180
the medical social questionnaire,
so that takes about an hour to do.
426
00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:23,180
We go into quite a lot of detail.
427
00:26:23,689 --> 00:26:28,079
In terms of saying goodbye to their
loved one, there's no right or
428
00:26:28,079 --> 00:26:30,619
wrong time for them to say goodbye.
429
00:26:30,959 --> 00:26:34,140
We encourage them, if they would
like to, to stay, stay with their
430
00:26:34,140 --> 00:26:35,520
loved one as long as they can.
431
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,100
There is two different
pathways to donation.
432
00:26:39,730 --> 00:26:43,980
So there's one where someone is
declared brain dead, and they can
433
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:47,420
stay with that person up until
they go to the operating theatre.
434
00:26:47,909 --> 00:26:51,459
And in the other pathway,
it's, their death is determined
435
00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:55,030
by their heart stopping, so
cardiac determination of death.
436
00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:58,889
And with that one, once again,
the family can still be there.
437
00:26:59,755 --> 00:27:03,094
Uh, right up until it's time to go
to the operating theater, it just
438
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:07,515
looks a little bit different in
terms of the timings, that's all.
439
00:27:09,605 --> 00:27:09,885
Catherine: And is it
440
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:12,304
Sam: longer or shorter or?
441
00:27:12,854 --> 00:27:17,864
So, when someone is declared brain dead,
they will go to the operating theater
442
00:27:18,385 --> 00:27:24,425
with the breathing tube still in and their
heart will stop in the operating theater.
443
00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:29,255
With cardiac death, the
breathing tube is taken out.
444
00:27:29,775 --> 00:27:33,935
In the intensive care unit, and the
family can still be there for that.
445
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:39,145
Once their heart has stopped, there's
a brief period to say goodbye.
446
00:27:39,525 --> 00:27:42,504
And by brief, I mean five
minutes, and then that person
447
00:27:42,504 --> 00:27:44,735
will be taken to their donation.
448
00:27:46,024 --> 00:27:49,955
Catherine: And I'm assuming that's
because there's that very, short
449
00:27:49,985 --> 00:27:55,945
time frame to then get the organ out
while the blood's still circulating?
450
00:27:55,955 --> 00:27:56,445
Sam: Would that be
451
00:27:56,445 --> 00:27:57,215
Catherine: right or?
452
00:27:57,825 --> 00:28:02,245
Sam: Uh, the blood would have stopped
circulating, but yes, essentially,
453
00:28:02,254 --> 00:28:06,884
it's about how long the organs would
have oxygen or be without oxygen for.
454
00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:08,055
Catherine: Okay.
455
00:28:08,334 --> 00:28:08,524
Yeah.
456
00:28:08,944 --> 00:28:13,753
And tell me, how do you support
the family through this process?
457
00:28:13,753 --> 00:28:14,431
So,
458
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:19,810
Sam: um, We, I'm pretty, when I
speak to the families, I go through
459
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:24,950
the entire process and I explain at
different points what, what will happen
460
00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:26,660
or what it would be like to happen.
461
00:28:27,149 --> 00:28:32,090
And then I gently remind them as we
get closer to the time of donation.
462
00:28:32,330 --> 00:28:37,810
So, for example, if it's the cardiac
death pathway, I would say, we're almost
463
00:28:37,810 --> 00:28:39,760
ready to take the breathing tube out.
464
00:28:40,660 --> 00:28:43,130
We're going to make sure your
loved one is comfortable.
465
00:28:43,770 --> 00:28:46,280
And then when the, when, sorry.
466
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:51,110
And when it's time to go to the operating
theater, I will come into the room and I
467
00:28:51,110 --> 00:28:53,210
will be with them the entire way through.
468
00:28:55,140 --> 00:29:00,509
That is, if there's any question they
have at any point in time, I just
469
00:29:00,509 --> 00:29:02,519
address that question at that point.
470
00:29:06,669 --> 00:29:12,339
Catherine: And tell me, how
do you suggest people support.
471
00:29:13,465 --> 00:29:21,294
Those loved ones in that process,
because it's obviously highly emotional.
472
00:29:21,825 --> 00:29:24,695
They have to make that conscious decision.
473
00:29:25,194 --> 00:29:32,494
And how do you, you know, friends and
family outside that, that intimate
474
00:29:32,495 --> 00:29:35,165
circle, how can we support people?
475
00:29:38,855 --> 00:29:39,735
Sam: It's a very good question.
476
00:29:39,895 --> 00:29:44,404
I think for those people who are
helping support a loved one, who's
477
00:29:44,405 --> 00:29:46,825
got a, person going through donation.
478
00:29:46,865 --> 00:29:51,915
I think allowing them some space
and time to ventilate whatever
479
00:29:52,215 --> 00:29:53,625
is going through their mind.
480
00:29:54,385 --> 00:29:59,105
It can be, a lot of people say it can be
difficult to see someone on a ventilator
481
00:29:59,215 --> 00:30:04,255
and I completely agree, but Those
people, the donors, we, like I said,
482
00:30:04,255 --> 00:30:08,975
our highest priority is to make sure
that they are comfortable and that they
483
00:30:08,985 --> 00:30:11,005
have a dignified and respectable death.
484
00:30:11,215 --> 00:30:15,345
So we ensure that they've,
they've got pain relief if they
485
00:30:15,345 --> 00:30:17,955
need it, that they're warm.
486
00:30:18,305 --> 00:30:21,505
For example, if that's something
that's important to the family,
487
00:30:22,035 --> 00:30:25,715
a lot of my, my family's tell me
that they don't have time to eat or
488
00:30:25,715 --> 00:30:27,265
they don't feel like they can eat.
489
00:30:27,905 --> 00:30:28,235
Sorry.
490
00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:33,010
As someone who's helped support
other family members going through
491
00:30:33,010 --> 00:30:34,870
deaths, bringing them some food.
492
00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:36,540
They might not feel like eating it.
493
00:30:37,290 --> 00:30:40,680
Even a coffee, also, also can help.
494
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:45,510
Or giving them some space to go out, leave
the intensive care unit if they want to.
495
00:30:46,230 --> 00:30:50,095
If they're worried about their loved one
being alone in the hospital, maybe you
496
00:30:50,095 --> 00:30:52,691
could offer to come in and sit with them.
497
00:30:52,691 --> 00:30:56,152
So they can go home and
have a shower or a sleep.
498
00:30:56,152 --> 00:30:59,613
Catherine: Because it is a very
intensive, sort of short window, isn't it?
499
00:30:59,613 --> 00:31:00,189
Mm hmm.
500
00:31:02,970 --> 00:31:08,160
And more intensive, yeah, than
perhaps people who have been
501
00:31:08,180 --> 00:31:10,590
given a life limiting illness.
502
00:31:12,770 --> 00:31:17,530
Is it correct to think, say, or
thinking that a lot of the time
503
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:24,620
this 2 percent may be because of
an accident or an unexpected death?
504
00:31:26,850 --> 00:31:31,120
Sam: They most certainly can be from
an accident or an unexpected death.
505
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:36,700
It can also be something that's become
complicated, some health condition
506
00:31:36,710 --> 00:31:40,630
that's become complicated and ended
up that they, um, They've ended in ICU
507
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,620
and, uh, going through end of life care.
508
00:31:45,290 --> 00:31:51,670
In terms of what disease processes or
anything like that that would exclude
509
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:53,690
donation, there's not actually that many.
510
00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:01,540
The only one would be a blood
cancer, um, or cancer that's spread.
511
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:06,660
However, people who have cancer
that's spread, so metastatic
512
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,750
cancer, they can still actually
donate their corneal Tissue.
513
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,180
So their eye tissue, which
I think is just amazing.
514
00:32:14,180 --> 00:32:18,050
I had a friend who passed
away about 18 months ago.
515
00:32:18,820 --> 00:32:23,650
He was 33 and got a diagnosis
of stage four bowel cancer, and
516
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:24,859
it was actually pretty amazing.
517
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:30,200
Must have been over 18 months ago because
it was, I just started at Donate Life as
518
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,880
he, as he was unfortunately diagnosed.
519
00:32:33,700 --> 00:32:36,030
And one of his questions to
me was like, Oh, they're not
520
00:32:36,030 --> 00:32:37,390
going to want my organs now.
521
00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:38,800
And I said, I don't know.
522
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,190
I haven't started my training.
523
00:32:42,170 --> 00:32:42,490
Good answer.
524
00:32:44,540 --> 00:32:47,219
I'll come back to you.
525
00:32:47,220 --> 00:32:48,710
I'll come back in six months.
526
00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:52,270
Unfortunately for him, his cancer
did progress quite quickly.
527
00:32:52,290 --> 00:32:52,480
And.
528
00:32:52,730 --> 00:32:59,840
He did ask me that question another
time and I remember I was in, I
529
00:32:59,850 --> 00:33:04,160
don't know how to put it other than
I was in friend mode, not nurse mode.
530
00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:06,060
They're two different people in my brain.
531
00:33:06,070 --> 00:33:09,490
And he saw the look on my face and he's
like, I can't donate anything, can I?
532
00:33:09,490 --> 00:33:12,175
And I was like, look, I think
you can actually, I think
533
00:33:12,175 --> 00:33:13,320
you can donate your corneas.
534
00:33:13,970 --> 00:33:19,110
But I, I'm, I'm in friend mode, so you'll
have to just get your doctor to call the
535
00:33:19,110 --> 00:33:20,840
number if it's something that you want.
536
00:33:21,930 --> 00:33:27,420
And he, he did, he called, he
called Donate Life and self
537
00:33:27,430 --> 00:33:29,610
consented for corneal donation.
538
00:33:30,090 --> 00:33:36,820
And then every time I visited him
after he consented for his donation, he
539
00:33:36,820 --> 00:33:40,340
would be telling me, Oh, I'm going to
help restore the sight of two people.
540
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,970
Even though he was, you know, admitted
to hospital, wasn't going home, that
541
00:33:44,970 --> 00:33:49,630
was like, it was very comforting that
he was able to make that decision,
542
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,840
one, on his own, and two, that he
had the understanding and meaning
543
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:58,290
behind, you That he was going to
help people in such a really sad
544
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,550
circumstance for him and his wife.
545
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,260
Catherine: And tell me, how do
people nominate to be an organ donor?
546
00:34:07,660 --> 00:34:12,390
Like, I think it used to be through
the driver's license and that's
547
00:34:12,410 --> 00:34:14,270
processed change now, has it?
548
00:34:15,310 --> 00:34:18,880
Sam: Yeah, so unless you live
in South Australia, you can't
549
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:21,270
register on your driver's license.
550
00:34:22,020 --> 00:34:24,370
Registration is actually really simple.
551
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:27,530
So you can do it on the donatelife.
552
00:34:27,530 --> 00:34:28,459
gov.
553
00:34:28,460 --> 00:34:31,730
au website or the Express
Plus Medicare app.
554
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,320
It only takes, I think, three taps or
three clicks to get there to do it.
555
00:34:36,390 --> 00:34:41,230
My, my father in law, actually, when I
started this job or told him that I'd just
556
00:34:41,230 --> 00:34:43,570
got been successful in the application.
557
00:34:43,570 --> 00:34:45,020
He said to me, I have an organ donor.
558
00:34:45,020 --> 00:34:45,900
And I said, are you sure?
559
00:34:46,410 --> 00:34:50,330
And he, we pulled up his Medicare app
and he actually wasn't registered,
560
00:34:50,790 --> 00:34:52,290
even though he thought he had.
561
00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:56,590
So I think the most important thing is to
check if you want to be an organ donor,
562
00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:59,860
to make sure that you're registered to
check on the Medicare app, if you are,
563
00:35:01,010 --> 00:35:05,150
and then to tell your family about it
too, so that they know if they ever
564
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:06,400
have to make that decision for you.
565
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:07,950
I
566
00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:12,930
Catherine: know when I heard this one
about the driver's license, I went
567
00:35:12,930 --> 00:35:18,130
back and it was through my Gov app
that I must have accessed the Medicare
568
00:35:18,820 --> 00:35:22,290
and made sure that I was registered.
569
00:35:23,050 --> 00:35:29,465
Uh, and, Well, there's no surprise
that there's plenty of conversations
570
00:35:29,845 --> 00:35:34,045
in our house about death and
our intentions and our wishes.
571
00:35:34,795 --> 00:35:39,675
So the whole family knows exactly
what, you know, I want to do.
572
00:35:39,915 --> 00:35:45,745
So, but, but do you find when you're
talking with families, how many
573
00:35:45,785 --> 00:35:48,035
people have had that conversation?
574
00:35:49,685 --> 00:35:53,850
Sam: So not, Many at all actually have
had that conversation about whether
575
00:35:53,850 --> 00:35:55,650
they want to be a donor or not.
576
00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:58,940
And we know that if you do have
that conversation, it makes that
577
00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:03,390
decision so much easier for your
loved one who's going through.
578
00:36:05,050 --> 00:36:07,050
unmeasurable grief in that moment.
579
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:12,570
Those conversations, I, I understand
in, in our culture, we don't like
580
00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:16,710
talking about death, but it's often
one of the most important conversations
581
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,030
someone could actually have.
582
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,630
And it doesn't have to be, you
know, an extensive conversation.
583
00:36:21,630 --> 00:36:24,725
It could just be, you know, You
know, slip it in, but you've
584
00:36:24,725 --> 00:36:26,925
registered like at the dinner table.
585
00:36:26,975 --> 00:36:27,665
Oh, thanks.
586
00:36:27,695 --> 00:36:28,645
Can you pass the peas?
587
00:36:28,655 --> 00:36:31,235
By the way, I'm a registered organ donor.
588
00:36:32,615 --> 00:36:33,625
If that ever comes up.
589
00:36:35,065 --> 00:36:35,845
Catherine: I love that.
590
00:36:36,055 --> 00:36:41,985
And I always say those conversations are
perfect for the car, captive audience.
591
00:36:42,685 --> 00:36:43,765
They have to listen.
592
00:36:44,385 --> 00:36:44,845
Sam: They do.
593
00:36:45,295 --> 00:36:45,665
Yep.
594
00:36:46,165 --> 00:36:49,345
Even myself, my partner
definitely knows my wishes.
595
00:36:49,555 --> 00:36:53,485
But I know that the other family members
don't like having those conversations.
596
00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:56,565
And unfortunately, having
me as their family member,
597
00:36:58,785 --> 00:37:01,205
they have, they have had
to have that conversation.
598
00:37:02,835 --> 00:37:02,975
Catherine: Yeah,
599
00:37:03,225 --> 00:37:03,565
Sam: I
600
00:37:03,565 --> 00:37:06,415
Catherine: love that, but
we can't all have you, Sam.
601
00:37:07,205 --> 00:37:11,095
So, uh, we all need to have those
conversations with our own families.
602
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,699
And, well, let's talk about
some of the other myths that
603
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:18,110
may be around organ donation.
604
00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:24,640
So have you heard any stories about
muscle memory or, again, this is,
605
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:29,719
you're from the donor side, this is
more from the recipient side, so you
606
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:35,222
may not be aware, but have you heard
any stories about any organs that have
607
00:37:35,222 --> 00:37:41,560
the recipients taken on and they find
that they don't get humped or something?
608
00:37:41,810 --> 00:37:45,830
Sam: Now, I've only heard a few
of those stories through the media
609
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:49,460
and I still think that those are
kind of incredibly special that
610
00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:51,480
those type of things may happen.
611
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,220
I don't know whether there
is any scientific, you know,
612
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,990
basis of those types of things.
613
00:37:58,150 --> 00:38:02,490
I think the most recent one that
I've heard was a recipient all
614
00:38:02,490 --> 00:38:07,360
of a sudden really hated, I think
it was garlic, hated garlic.
615
00:38:07,625 --> 00:38:08,565
Had a transplant.
616
00:38:08,605 --> 00:38:13,755
Absolutely loved garlic from, you know,
the moment that they had their transplant
617
00:38:13,765 --> 00:38:17,820
done, which I think is It's a special
thing that to have that, to be able
618
00:38:17,820 --> 00:38:19,330
to share that connection with someone.
619
00:38:19,700 --> 00:38:20,010
Yeah.
620
00:38:20,010 --> 00:38:22,460
But I'm not aware of any scientific basis.
621
00:38:22,690 --> 00:38:23,050
That was,
622
00:38:23,190 --> 00:38:26,390
Catherine: that was Sam
as the friend, non, you
623
00:38:26,390 --> 00:38:27,239
Sam: know,
624
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:27,520
Catherine: nurse.
625
00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:27,990
Yeah.
626
00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:33,080
Now tell me how, how did you get to this?
627
00:38:33,270 --> 00:38:39,450
If you were saying that donate life is
sort of the conduit, if the recipient
628
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:45,660
and the families of the donor want to
communicate, so how does that happen?
629
00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:47,040
Talk me through that.
630
00:38:47,530 --> 00:38:51,400
Sam: So what would happen is either
the donor or the recipient would
631
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,290
write a letter, they can send
gifts if they want to as well.
632
00:38:55,470 --> 00:38:59,770
The letter is then checked to make
sure that there's no identifying.
633
00:39:00,350 --> 00:39:05,070
Elements to it is then passed
on by, I believe our support
634
00:39:05,090 --> 00:39:07,290
coordinator to the other person.
635
00:39:07,290 --> 00:39:11,350
So either the corresponding
donor or recipient from there,
636
00:39:12,510 --> 00:39:16,320
there's also a service of
remembrance that we have each year.
637
00:39:16,350 --> 00:39:20,140
I believe it's in November where
donor families and recipients can
638
00:39:20,140 --> 00:39:22,730
come to pay respect to our donors.
639
00:39:24,330 --> 00:39:25,010
Oh, that's really
640
00:39:25,010 --> 00:39:25,460
Catherine: beautiful.
641
00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:26,250
Where's that held?
642
00:39:27,295 --> 00:39:28,945
Sam: I believe it's held in Melbourne.
643
00:39:28,945 --> 00:39:33,415
It's held at Melbourne Town Hall, but
there's one in each corresponding state,
644
00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:37,005
which is, you can find more information
out on the Donate Life website.
645
00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:38,545
Catherine: That's great.
646
00:39:38,565 --> 00:39:42,075
And what we'll do is we'll include those
links in the show notes, because that's
647
00:39:42,525 --> 00:39:48,695
really beautiful because when you think
2 percent of the population that gets
648
00:39:48,695 --> 00:39:53,655
to give this gift to the ability to
come together and talk with others, it
649
00:39:53,965 --> 00:39:56,485
must be very valuable for those people.
650
00:39:57,180 --> 00:40:01,410
Sam: Yeah, and to be able to share
their experiences as, as a loved one
651
00:40:01,410 --> 00:40:06,710
of a donor or to be able to show, you
know, that they're doing really well
652
00:40:06,710 --> 00:40:11,170
with their, their transplant, for
example, it would be incredibly special.
653
00:40:11,170 --> 00:40:12,120
I don't think I've ever.
654
00:40:13,270 --> 00:40:17,060
heard of someone going to one of
those services of remembrance without
655
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,840
having a, having a little tear.
656
00:40:19,870 --> 00:40:20,390
Catherine: Yes.
657
00:40:20,430 --> 00:40:22,730
I could imagine it
would be very emotional.
658
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:27,700
And what do you feel do for yourself, Sam?
659
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:32,470
Because you're really in
amongst it with the families.
660
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:33,820
the entire time.
661
00:40:34,260 --> 00:40:38,750
What do you do for yourself,
uh, for your own self care?
662
00:40:39,830 --> 00:40:41,430
Sam: Uh, that's a, that's a good question.
663
00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:43,750
I love a bit of crafting, to be honest.
664
00:40:44,150 --> 00:40:45,790
I'm currently trying to learn how to sew.
665
00:40:46,770 --> 00:40:50,730
Uh, it's not going well, but
it's at least fun to try.
666
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:52,400
At least you're trying.
667
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:52,940
Yeah.
668
00:40:53,550 --> 00:40:57,690
My, I, my, sibling who donated.
669
00:40:57,890 --> 00:41:03,670
We often will chat about her around her
anniversary of donation and we light a
670
00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:05,980
candle and think about her in that way.
671
00:41:06,010 --> 00:41:06,790
And we do the same.
672
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,090
My father passed away 10
years ago, very suddenly.
673
00:41:09,090 --> 00:41:10,400
So we do something similar to him.
674
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:15,690
And I just acknowledge that while I
have grief from my own family members
675
00:41:15,690 --> 00:41:17,870
passing away, that I'm offering.
676
00:41:18,260 --> 00:41:22,240
a small part of comfort
to our donors families.
677
00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:25,870
So I keep that in mind that I'm
helping support them in their grief.
678
00:41:26,530 --> 00:41:28,180
And it's not, it's not my grief.
679
00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:30,220
My grief is separate to theirs.
680
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:31,770
I'm not sure if that makes sense.
681
00:41:32,910 --> 00:41:37,910
Catherine: No, it seems to because
you were talking about how you make
682
00:41:37,910 --> 00:41:39,610
sure that you have different hats.
683
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,520
When you're in different
parts of your life,
684
00:41:43,130 --> 00:41:46,320
Sam: yeah, so there's nurse,
nurse mode and Sam mode.
685
00:41:47,830 --> 00:41:48,810
Catherine: No, I like that.
686
00:41:49,110 --> 00:41:54,480
And sometimes that's a survival mechanism
of having those compartmentalized
687
00:41:54,710 --> 00:41:57,070
and running concurrently together.
688
00:41:58,005 --> 00:42:02,755
Sam: Yeah, and it doesn't necessarily
mean that I don't give my 100
689
00:42:02,755 --> 00:42:07,465
percent to every donor family that
I have, but I, yeah, that's just
690
00:42:07,465 --> 00:42:09,415
how I separate the two in my life.
691
00:42:09,415 --> 00:42:10,654
Well,
692
00:42:10,835 --> 00:42:14,525
Catherine: I think it's valuable
to actually have boundaries, uh,
693
00:42:14,575 --> 00:42:17,925
so you can continue to do this
for a very long period of time.
694
00:42:18,660 --> 00:42:18,940
Sam: Yeah.
695
00:42:19,270 --> 00:42:19,720
Thank you.
696
00:42:20,230 --> 00:42:23,740
I also just make sure I exercise and eat
healthy, but they're the, you know, the
697
00:42:23,740 --> 00:42:25,760
boring parts of self care, I suppose.
698
00:42:27,460 --> 00:42:27,690
Catherine: Yeah.
699
00:42:28,170 --> 00:42:32,560
Everyone wants to hear there's just a
magic wand and it's not based on eating
700
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,050
properly, sleeping well and exercise.
701
00:42:37,490 --> 00:42:37,680
Sam: It's
702
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:38,090
Catherine: definitely
703
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:38,620
Sam: sewing.
704
00:42:41,770 --> 00:42:41,990
Catherine: Yeah.
705
00:42:42,470 --> 00:42:42,860
That's it.
706
00:42:43,010 --> 00:42:43,360
Yeah.
707
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,540
But it'll be the thing
that'll get you through.
708
00:42:46,370 --> 00:42:46,580
Yeah.
709
00:42:47,510 --> 00:42:51,210
And then tell me, from your perspective,
what do you think are the most significant
710
00:42:51,210 --> 00:42:57,170
challenges that the, the loved ones
face when they're in this situation?
711
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:01,870
Sam: I think the decision becomes
harder if they don't know what their
712
00:43:01,870 --> 00:43:06,120
loved one wants in terms of donation,
whether that's they haven't registered
713
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:11,080
themselves or they haven't had a
conversation about donation, because
714
00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:14,750
then they're asked to make a decision
on their behalf and, and They have never
715
00:43:14,770 --> 00:43:16,670
had that opportunity to talk about it.
716
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:23,890
And also going through that at a time
of acute grief, when you may, may have
717
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:29,240
not had the chance to have that last
conversation or that last goodbye.
718
00:43:29,790 --> 00:43:34,010
It certainly makes it easier if they,
they have had some type of conversation.
719
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,510
There was a donor recently where.
720
00:43:38,185 --> 00:43:40,965
The donor themselves wasn't
actually registered, which
721
00:43:40,965 --> 00:43:42,875
is not uncommon in Victoria.
722
00:43:42,875 --> 00:43:45,685
Only 22 percent of people are
registered and that's why we
723
00:43:46,085 --> 00:43:49,965
encourage everyone to get to register
themselves and have that conversation.
724
00:43:50,405 --> 00:43:53,925
But they'd actually had a
conversation with their family.
725
00:43:54,195 --> 00:43:56,279
They had a baby via IVF.
726
00:43:56,510 --> 00:44:01,180
And they said to their family that
because someone helped me conceive
727
00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:05,190
my, my little love, I want to help pay
it forward if that ever happened to
728
00:44:05,190 --> 00:44:11,450
me so that her family, sorry, their
family knew that without a doubt that
729
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:15,300
they wanted to be a donor, which made
that decision so much easier for them.
730
00:44:17,410 --> 00:44:18,560
Catherine: Yeah, that's beautiful.
731
00:44:19,180 --> 00:44:26,395
And how has the last two years
shaped or molded you, you know,
732
00:44:26,395 --> 00:44:27,955
with your own thought about death?
733
00:44:29,765 --> 00:44:33,795
Sam: Well, I think I've got a
healthy appreciation that death
734
00:44:33,795 --> 00:44:38,445
is, is inevitable to enjoy all
the moments in your life, even the
735
00:44:38,515 --> 00:44:41,305
sitting on the couch, eating M& Ms.
736
00:44:42,925 --> 00:44:50,795
And I've made sure that if I was ever in
a position where I was being considered.
737
00:44:51,465 --> 00:44:57,945
As a potential organ donor, my family,
everyone in my life knows that I would,
738
00:44:58,045 --> 00:45:02,325
I would a hundred percent say yes, I've
even considered not that I can actually
739
00:45:02,325 --> 00:45:05,345
do this, but I've even considered like,
maybe I'd just fill out the consent
740
00:45:05,345 --> 00:45:07,995
for myself so that they have it.
741
00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:11,635
So it's abundantly clear, but I am
registered and my family do know.
742
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:18,730
Catherine: Well, it looks like you've
taken your own advice very well and done
743
00:45:18,730 --> 00:45:24,500
everything you possibly can to ensure that
that happens should the situation arise.
744
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:26,950
Thank you, yep.
745
00:45:27,250 --> 00:45:31,610
And is there any advice or
encouragement that you'd like to share?
746
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:38,800
Sam: To, Consider what you would want
in terms of organ donation, knowing
747
00:45:38,810 --> 00:45:43,090
that you could help, help save the lives
of up to seven people, how rare it is,
748
00:45:43,140 --> 00:45:47,650
and take that time to do those three
taps to register on the Medicare app.
749
00:45:48,070 --> 00:45:52,490
And then to tell your family when you
have them as a captive audience, like you
750
00:45:52,490 --> 00:45:54,310
said, in the car or something like that.
751
00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:57,750
It is a difficult conversation,
but it's one of the most important
752
00:45:57,780 --> 00:45:59,100
things you can do to help.
753
00:45:59,670 --> 00:46:02,800
Give someone a second chance, um, at life.
754
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:05,240
Catherine: That's beautiful, Sam.
755
00:46:05,860 --> 00:46:08,260
I can't thank you enough
for being with us today.
756
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:11,780
And do you say Happy
757
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:13,680
Sam: Donate Life Week?
758
00:46:14,530 --> 00:46:16,420
We can say Happy Donate Life Week.
759
00:46:16,490 --> 00:46:21,350
We could also say, hang on, I'm
just, there's a note above my head.
760
00:46:21,420 --> 00:46:22,618
One second.
761
00:46:22,618 --> 00:46:24,614
Yep, good.
762
00:46:24,895 --> 00:46:30,145
Uh, this Donate Life week, be the reason
someone gets a second chance at life.
763
00:46:30,165 --> 00:46:32,015
Register as an organ and tissue donor.
764
00:46:33,075 --> 00:46:34,095
Catherine: Yeah, that's great.
765
00:46:34,955 --> 00:46:35,755
Beautiful advice.
766
00:46:36,515 --> 00:46:37,795
Thank you so much, Sam.
767
00:46:38,705 --> 00:46:39,215
Thank you.
768
00:46:40,585 --> 00:46:44,025
We hope you enjoyed today's
episode of Don't Be Caught Dead,
769
00:46:44,315 --> 00:46:45,905
brought to you by Critical Info.
770
00:46:46,835 --> 00:46:51,225
If you liked the episode, learnt something
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771
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:53,055
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772
00:46:53,175 --> 00:46:56,775
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773
00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:58,545
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774
00:46:58,695 --> 00:47:02,855
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775
00:47:02,855 --> 00:47:04,595
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776
00:47:04,895 --> 00:47:06,245
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777
00:47:06,395 --> 00:47:07,385
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778
00:47:07,385 --> 00:47:11,285
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779
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Read Less
Resources
- Visit the Website: DonateLife
- Learn More: Fiona Coote
- Explore More: DonateLife Events
- My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?
Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. It has a checklist that Danielle refers to in this episode. Download it here.
- Support Services
If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here.